Run: 2026-04-24-01KQ0N438Z5SRJHHY57BQHZTN4

Run Details

Duration:
1m 42s
Cost:
$0.130580
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the horror genre. A character is alone in a strange, isolated place at night. They came here for a reason, but something feels off from the moment they arrive. The wrongness builds slowly — sounds that shouldn't be there, things that move at the edge of vision, a growing certainty that they are not alone. Build tension through restraint, not through gore. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for the character and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
By the time Aurora Carter found the first oak stone, the park had gone too quiet. Richmond Park at night was never truly silent. Even in the deep hours, when London pulled its collar up and pretended to sleep, there should have been some sign of the city beyond the trees: the far hush of tyres on wet road, the bark of a fox, the mechanical cough of an early bus changing gears somewhere beyond the dark. Instead, the world had narrowed to the circle of weak light cast by her phone and the sound of her own breathing. The phone said 01:13. It had said 01:13 for the last twenty minutes. Rory stopped with one hand braced against the trunk of a chestnut and stared at the frozen numbers until they blurred. Her thumb was damp where it pressed the cracked edge of the screen. No signal. No movement in the clock. The little battery icon remained stubbornly at fifty-two percent, as if even the phone had decided not to commit to anything so ordinary as time. “Brilliant,” she muttered. Her voice fell flat. No echo. No carrying. It sounded as though she had spoken into a cupboard full of coats. The pendant warmed against her sternum. She looked down. The Heartstone lay beneath her black jumper, tucked under two layers because she had learned, through humiliating experience, that mysterious crimson artifacts did not appreciate being ignored. Even hidden, its glow bled faintly through the fabric, a dull red pulse like a coal breathing under ash. It had started in her flat above Silas’ bar just after midnight: a slow warmth at first, easy to dismiss as nerves or bad central heating, then a rhythm, regular and insistent, tugging at her like a finger hooked through a chain. She had come because she was tired of being dragged by things she did not understand. That was the noble version. The truer version was that she had come because the pendant had pulsed like this only once before, near something that should not have been possible: a split in the world, a place where the air thinned and the smell of cold iron and smoke leaked through. A portal, if she was going to allow the word into her life without laughing bitterly. A Hel portal, according to people who spoke of such things as if describing a dodgy boiler. It should not be here. Not in Richmond Park. Not in the hidden grove Isolde had once shown her, the pocket of Fae-touched earth tucked behind ancient boundaries and older bargains. The place was dangerous enough without anything from Hel sniffing at its edges. So Rory had put on her boots, pocketed a folding knife she did not know how to use properly, and left without waking anyone. Because quick thinking was all well and good in a crisis, but she had never been skilled at asking permission to walk into one. Now she stood alone among trees that watched her without moving, and the pendant beat against her chest like a second, less trustworthy heart. Ahead, the first standing stone leaned out of the undergrowth. Oak, not stone. That was the first strangeness of the grove, though not the worst. The boundary markers looked like ancient standing stones from a distance, hunched and weathered beneath moss and lichen, but up close their grain showed through: petrified oak, dark as old blood, each one carved with marks that slipped away from the eye when she tried to read them. They ringed the hidden clearing in a pattern that had made no sense to Rory when she first saw it and made even less sense now. The beam of her phone light crawled over the nearest marker. Its surface glistened wetly though it had not rained in hours. The carved lines looked deeper than she remembered. Rory swallowed. Her mouth tasted metallic. “Just checking,” she said softly. “In and out.” The pendant answered with another pulse of heat. She stepped between two of the oak stones. The air changed. It always did. She had expected the faint pressure in her ears, the sensation of wading through cold water without getting wet. She had expected the smell of wildflowers, impossibly sweet for October, and the softening of city-dark into grove-dark, which held more blue than black. She had expected the clearing to open ahead of her like a secret reluctantly shared. She did not expect the smell of burning hair. Rory froze with one boot half-sunk in moss. The stench drifted past and vanished. She lifted her light. The grove waited. Wildflowers bloomed year-round here, Isolde had told her, with the airy tone of someone discussing tea. They spread in drifts beneath the trees: foxglove, primrose, bluebell, flowers Rory didn’t know and didn’t want to know, their petals pale and luminous under the moonless sky. Tonight they were all turned the same way. Toward the centre of the clearing. Not toward the light. Not toward any breeze. Every blossom bent on its stem, faces inclined as if listening to something under the earth. Rory’s grip tightened on her phone. A childhood accident had left a crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist; it showed pale when her sleeve rode up. She noticed it now because the skin around it prickled. A useless detail. Her mind loved useless details when it was frightened. It counted exits, measured distances, named trees. It said: the flowers are wrong. It said: your phone still says 01:13. It said: you are alone. Somewhere in the trees, a woman laughed. Rory did not move. The laugh had been quiet, barely more than breath shaped around amusement, but it carried with awful clarity. Not close. Not far. The sort of sound that seemed to come from behind the ear. “Eva?” Rory called before she could stop herself. The name fell into the clearing and died. Of course it wasn’t Eva. Eva was asleep in London, or should have been, and if she had followed Rory here she would have crashed through the undergrowth swearing about nettles. There would be no whisper-laugh, no delicate little breath of mockery. Eva was many things, but subtle in woodland after midnight was not one of them. Rory forced air into her lungs. “Isolde?” No answer. The grove held itself very still. She should leave. The thought arrived cleanly, sensibly, and with the full backing of every instinct she possessed. She should turn around, cross back between the oak stones, and go to Silas. Or Yu-Fei. Or anyone with more experience in the category of supernatural wrongness than a former Pre-Law student who delivered noodles part-time and kept a cursed-or-adjacent necklace in her underwear drawer. The pendant flared hot enough to sting. Rory hissed and hooked a finger under the silver chain, pulling the Heartstone free. The crimson gemstone swung in the cold air. Roughly the size of her thumbnail, it glowed from within, not bright but deep, as if something red and alive watched from inside it. It tugged toward the centre of the grove. Of course it did. “You’re a terrible compass,” she whispered. The chain trembled. Rory began to walk. The clearing seemed wider than before. She remembered five minutes from boundary to centre, maybe seven if the ground was wet. Tonight the wildflower field stretched impossibly, a pale sea lapping at the black trunks of trees. Her boots crushed no petals. The flowers bent away before her step and rose behind her without sound. Halfway across, she heard footsteps. Not hers. They came from behind, matching her pace exactly: soft press of sole into moss, the faint brush of fabric against stems. Rory stopped. The footsteps stopped. She turned sharply, phone raised. Nothing. The boundary stones stood in a broken ring behind her, closer than they should be and farther than they could be. Between them, the trees made narrow black aisles. Her light caught a moth drifting past, white wings powdery and slow. No person. No animal. No movement except the flowers, all of them still bowed toward the centre. Rory held her breath and listened. Somewhere, water dripped. There was no water in the grove. Drop. Drop. Drop. Each sound landed with the patient rhythm of a tap left running in an empty house. It came from the left, then the right, then directly ahead. The pendant pulled harder. Rory lowered the phone by a fraction. At the edge of the light, something pale slipped behind a tree. Her heart kicked. She swung the beam toward it. Bark. Moss. A twist of exposed root. Nothing pale. Nothing moving. She waited. The beam trembled despite her best effort, and she hated that. She had survived Evan by learning how to make fear sit down and shut up while she planned. Fear was useful only after it had been house-trained. This fear was feral. It paced inside her ribs and scraped at the walls. A sound came from behind her. Not footsteps this time. Breathing. Slow. Wet. Too close. Rory turned, knife already out of her pocket though she did not remember opening it. The clearing behind her stood empty. But her phone light caught the flowers nearest her, and she saw that their petals had changed. Every blossom now faced her. Thousands of small pale heads angled up from the dark, staring without eyes. Rory’s throat closed. “Stop it,” she said. Her voice shook, which annoyed her enough to help. Anger, even thin anger, gave her something to stand on. “I don’t know what the local rules are,” she continued, louder, “but if this is some Fae etiquette nonsense, consider me very impressed and deeply unwilling.” The flowers did not move. Then, one by one, they turned back toward the centre. An invitation. Or a warning. Rory would have preferred a sign with arrows. The pendant’s heat softened, not gone but steadier now, as if satisfied she had understood the general direction of her doom. She slid the knife into her coat pocket but kept her hand around it. The metal felt cheap and human and inadequate. Still better than nothing. She walked on. The centre of the grove revealed itself slowly. First the trees thinned. Then the flowers stopped. They ended in a perfect circle around a patch of bare earth, as clean as if cut by a blade. No grass grew there. No moss. No fallen leaves. The soil was black and smooth. At its centre stood a door. Rory stopped at the flower line. It was not a freestanding door in any normal sense. There were no hinges, no frame, no wall. Just an upright rectangle of darkness slightly taller than a person, edges wavering like heat above tarmac. The air around it shivered. The smell of burning hair returned, threaded now with winter rot and something mineral, like a handful of old coins. The Heartstone pendant pulsed once. Hard. Rory staggered, palm pressed to her chest. The darkness inside the door moved. Not opened. Not shifted. Moved, the way a throat moves before speech. She backed up one step. The flowers brushed her calves. Their petals were cold through her jeans. “Right,” she whispered. “Found it.” The practical part of her mind, absurdly loyal, began assembling a plan. Photograph it. Mark the location. Leave. Tell someone. Do not touch the sinister floating doorway. Do not approach the sinister floating doorway. Do not, under any circumstances, listen if the sinister floating doorway starts whispering your name. “Aurora.” Her blood went cold. The voice came from the dark inside the door. Soft, familiar, almost tender. “Aurora Carter.” Not Rory. Not the name her friends used. Full name, rounded with care. Her mother’s voice had sounded like that when she was a child and feverish, sitting on the edge of the bed in Cardiff with a cool cloth and tired eyes. But Jennifer Carter was not in a hole in the air in a Fae grove after midnight. Jennifer Carter was in Wales, asleep beside Brendan, probably with a stack of exercise books on the kitchen table waiting to be marked. Rory clenched the Heartstone. “No.” The darkness listened. “Aurora,” it said again. This time it used Evan’s voice. Her whole body reacted before thought could intervene: stomach dropping, shoulders tightening, breath trapped high in her chest. She smelled his aftershave for one impossible second, sharp and expensive. Heard the smile he put into apologies. Felt the old shape of a room with no safe corner. Then she blinked, and the smell was gone. Rory’s fear hardened. “Oh, absolutely not.” The door’s edges rippled. Evan’s voice sighed. “You always do this.” Rory laughed once. It came out brittle and ugly, but it was a laugh. “Pick a better ghost.” She lifted her phone to take a photo. The screen remained frozen at 01:13, camera app refusing to open. She tapped it again. Nothing. The glass reflected her face back at her: pale skin, black hair falling straight to her shoulders, bright blue eyes too wide in the dim red glow of the pendant. Behind her reflection, someone stood at her shoulder. Rory spun. No one. The breathing returned, now in several places at once. Around the bare circle. Among the trees. Beneath the flowers. It rose and fell in a slow chorus, as if the grove itself had lungs and had only just remembered how to use them. The door whispered. Not words at first. Just sound: paper sliding over paper, fingernails lightly tracing wood, distant voices down a long tiled corridor. Then names began to surface. Eva. Silas. Brendan. Jennifer. Yu-Fei. Each spoken in a different voice, each just wrong enough to curdle. Eva with no warmth. Silas without irony. Her father with a child’s lisp. Rory backed away from the circle. The flowers behind her did not part. Their stems stiffened around her boots, thin as wire. She kicked free, crushing petals that released a scent like bruised mint and old smoke. The whispering sharpened. Do not run, she told herself. Running made you stupid. Running made you miss holes in the ground, roots, traps. Running made whatever watched from the dark decide you were prey. A twig snapped to her left. Rory turned her head. At the far edge of the clearing, between two trees, a figure stood half-hidden. It was tall. Too tall for the proportions of a person. The phone light did not reach it fully, but she saw the suggestion of a long coat or hanging hair, something dark falling in vertical strips. Its face, if it had one, remained turned away. Rory did not breathe. The figure lifted one pale hand and pointed at the door. “No,” Rory said. The hand remained. The door pulsed in answer. The black rectangle thinned at the centre, stretching inward, and for a moment Rory saw through it. Not clearly. Never clearly. A corridor of stone, wet with frost. A ceiling lost in shadow. Chains hanging motionless. Far away, a red light like an eye opening under ice. Then something on the other side stepped closer. The view vanished. The pendant became scorching. Rory cried out and dropped it. The silver chain caught at the back of her neck, yanking tight, and the Heartstone swung against her jumper, blazing crimson. Heat crawled over her skin. Not burning exactly. Searching. As if the pendant had found an answering signal and could not decide whether to warn her or pull her in. The tall figure at the trees turned its head. Rory saw no face. Only a hollow paleness where one should have been, smooth and blank as an egg beneath strands of black. The whispering stopped. In the sudden silence, her phone began to ring. The sound ripped through the grove, tinny and obscene. Rory flinched so hard she nearly dropped it. The screen still showed no signal. Still showed 01:13. But the caller ID glowed across the top in white letters. HOME Her thumb hovered. She had never saved any number as HOME. The ringtone continued. Cheerful. Ordinary. A little warped. The faceless figure took one step into the clearing. Rory rejected every instinct that told her to answer, to listen, to understand. Understanding could come later. Survival first. She gripped the Heartstone through her jumper with her left hand, ignoring the heat, and with her right hurled the phone at the door. It passed through the darkness. The ringtone cut off. For half a second, nothing happened. Then the door screamed. The sound had no mouth behind it, no lungs, no throat. It was pressure and tearing metal and a choir inhaling backward. Rory clapped both hands over her ears, but the scream came through bone. The flowers flattened. The trees bent away. The standing stones around the boundary groaned like ships under strain. The faceless figure jerked toward the door. The Heartstone flashed white-hot. Rory did the only thing that made sense: she ran. The flowers clawed at her ankles. Stems snapped like tiny bones. She drove through them, arms up against branches that had not been there moments before. The grove stretched around her, refusing distance. The oak stones flickered between trunks: near, far, near again. Her lungs burned. Her left wrist stung where the old crescent scar had split open without bleeding, a clean cold line of pain. Behind her, the scream collapsed into whispers. Aurora. Rory. Laila. Carter. Malphora. That last name struck her like a hand between the shoulder blades. She stumbled, caught herself on a tree, and kept moving. She did not know the name. She did not want to know the name. The grove did. The thing in the door did. Ahead, two oak standing stones leaned together, forming a narrow gap. Beyond them, she saw ordinary darkness. Real darkness. The park. Mud, bracken, city air, the blessed distant smear of London light. The gap began to close. “No you don’t,” Rory gasped. She threw herself between the stones. For an instant the wood pressed against both shoulders, cold and damp and alive. Something hooked the back of her coat. Fingers or thorns or the edge of a voice. She tore forward. Fabric ripped. The Heartstone slammed against her chest. Then she was on her hands and knees in wet grass outside the grove, sucking air that smelled of earth and deer droppings and faraway exhaust. Noise returned all at once. Wind in the trees. A fox shrieking somewhere distant. Traffic murmuring beyond the park wall. Her phone was gone. Her knees ached. Her palm was cut and muddy. Above the black line of treetops, the sky held the faint grey promise of dawn. Rory twisted to look behind her. The oak standing stones stood quiet beneath the trees. Between them lay only bramble and shadow. No flowers. No clearing. No door. For one wild moment she thought she had escaped cleanly. Then the pendant pulsed. Not with heat. With cold. Rory looked down. The Heartstone’s crimson glow had dimmed to a sullen ember. Across its smooth surface, from within the gem itself, something pale pressed outward. Not a crack. Not a reflection. A fingertip. It dragged slowly along the inside of the stone, tracing a crescent shape that matched the scar on her wrist. Rory sat very still in the wet grass, alone beneath the paling sky, while somewhere deep inside the pendant a familiar voice began to laugh.
created_at"2026-04-24T21:07:53.26Z" 4/24/2026, 9:07:53 PM
model"openai/gpt-5.5-20260423"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency6487
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time101941
tokens_prompt812
tokens_completion5212
native_tokens_prompt742
native_tokens_completion4229
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning112
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.13058
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"58e5b336-423e-430b-a2ab-8bc353f0c51b"
id"resp_012e841d9846923a0169ebdba96074819583345f7a964e162e"
is_byokfalse
latency355
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.5-20260423"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.1; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1777064873-NS5XxyCbZJpvzLMBuoc6"
session_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1777064873-pyfuKcGT43za5Csmid8v"
upstream_id"resp_012e841d9846923a0169ebdba96074819583345f7a964e162e"
total_cost0.13058
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"
response_cache_source_id(null)

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
18.18% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags11
adverbTagCount2
adverbTags
0"she said softly [softly]"
1"it said again [again]"
dialogueSentences19
tagDensity0.579
leniency1
rawRatio0.182
effectiveRatio0.182
83.04% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount3242
totalAiIsmAdverbs11
found
0
adverb"truly"
count1
1
adverb"softly"
count1
2
adverb"reluctantly"
count1
3
adverb"very"
count3
4
adverb"sharply"
count1
5
adverb"slowly"
count2
6
adverb"slightly"
count1
7
adverb"lightly"
count1
highlights
0"truly"
1"softly"
2"reluctantly"
3"very"
4"sharply"
5"slowly"
6"slightly"
7"lightly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
53.73% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount3242
totalAiIsms30
found
0
word"mechanical"
count1
1
word"echo"
count1
2
word"pulse"
count2
3
word"warmth"
count2
4
word"pulsed"
count4
5
word"measured"
count1
6
word"whisper"
count1
7
word"trembled"
count2
8
word"footsteps"
count3
9
word"perfect"
count1
10
word"wavering"
count1
11
word"sinister"
count3
12
word"familiar"
count2
13
word"stomach"
count1
14
word"absolutely"
count1
15
word"tracing"
count2
16
word"silence"
count1
17
word"flickered"
count1
highlights
0"mechanical"
1"echo"
2"pulse"
3"warmth"
4"pulsed"
5"measured"
6"whisper"
7"trembled"
8"footsteps"
9"perfect"
10"wavering"
11"sinister"
12"familiar"
13"stomach"
14"absolutely"
15"tracing"
16"silence"
17"flickered"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches1
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"blood ran cold"
count1
highlights
0"blood went cold"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences383
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount2
hedgeCount8
narrationSentences383
filterMatches
0"listen"
1"decide"
hedgeMatches
0"tended to"
1"tried to"
2"seemed to"
3"began to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences392
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen53
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords3242
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions12
unquotedAttributions1
matches
0"Do not run, she told herself."
66.67% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions103
wordCount3147
uniqueNames24
maxNameDensity1.33
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity3
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Aurora2
Carter4
Park2
London3
Heartstone9
Hel2
Richmond2
Isolde2
Fae-touched1
Rory42
October1
Eva5
Silas3
Yu-Fei2
Pre-Law1
Evan3
Cardiff1
Jennifer3
Fae2
Wales1
Brendan2
Drop3
Do4
Running3
persons
0"Aurora"
1"Carter"
2"Heartstone"
3"Rory"
4"Eva"
5"Silas"
6"Evan"
7"Jennifer"
8"Brendan"
9"Running"
places
0"Park"
1"London"
2"Richmond"
3"Isolde"
4"Cardiff"
5"Fae"
6"Wales"
globalScore0.833
windowScore0.667
77.18% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences206
glossingSentenceCount6
matches
0"as if describing a dodgy boiler"
1"looked like ancient standing stones from"
2"as if listening to something under the earth"
3"sound that seemed to come from behind the ear"
4"seemed wider than before"
5"sounded like that when she was a child and"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches2
per1kWords0.617
wordCount3242
matches
0"not bright but deep, as if something red"
1"not gone but steadier now, as if satisfied she had understood the general"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences392
matches
0"was that she"
1"saw that their"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs199
mean16.29
std20.21
cv1.24
sampleLengths
016
183
24
39
466
53
621
76
83
988
1016
115
1280
135
1439
1548
1624
1710
1889
1922
208
216
228
238
248
253
2661
279
288
296
307
3152
326
3324
346
3567
367
374
3834
398
408
4157
426
431
442
456
4663
477
4846
498
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount5
totalSentences383
matches
0"being ignored"
1"being dragged"
2"was frightened"
3"was gone"
4"was gone"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount0
totalVerbs529
matches(empty)
100.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount0
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences1
totalSentences392
ratio0.003
matches
0"A childhood accident had left a crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist; it showed pale when her sleeve rode up."
92.79% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount293
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount14
adverbRatio0.04778156996587031
lyAdverbCount6
lyAdverbRatio0.020477815699658702
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences392
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences392
mean8.27
std7.59
cv0.918
sampleLengths
016
18
253
322
44
59
621
713
82
95
1025
113
124
132
142
1513
166
173
1827
1919
2042
2116
225
2347
2416
2517
265
274
2822
2913
3024
3124
3224
3310
343
3512
3648
3726
3811
3911
408
412
424
435
443
458
468
473
483
4919
38.27% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats46
diversityRatio0.29081632653061223
totalSentences392
uniqueOpeners114
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount22
totalSentences316
matches
0"Instead, the world had narrowed"
1"Even hidden, its glow bled"
2"Somewhere in the trees, a"
3"Of course it wasn’t Eva."
4"Roughly the size of her"
5"Of course it did."
6"Somewhere, water dripped."
7"Then, one by one, they"
8"Still better than nothing."
9"Then the flowers stopped."
10"Just an upright rectangle of"
11"Soft, familiar, almost tender."
12"Then she blinked, and the"
13"Just sound: paper sliding over"
14"Then names began to surface."
15"Too tall for the proportions"
16"Then something on the other"
17"Only a hollow paleness where"
18"Still showed 01:13."
19"Then the door screamed."
ratio0.07
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount77
totalSentences316
matches
0"It had said 01:13 for"
1"Her thumb was damp where"
2"Her voice fell flat."
3"It sounded as though she"
4"She looked down."
5"It had started in her"
6"She had come because she"
7"It should not be here."
8"They ringed the hidden clearing"
9"Its surface glistened wetly though"
10"Her mouth tasted metallic."
11"she said softly"
12"She stepped between two of"
13"It always did."
14"She had expected the faint"
15"She had expected the smell"
16"She had expected the clearing"
17"She did not expect the"
18"She lifted her light."
19"They spread in drifts beneath"
ratio0.244
92.91% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount232
totalSentences316
matches
0"Richmond Park at night was"
1"The phone said 01:13."
2"It had said 01:13 for"
3"Rory stopped with one hand"
4"Her thumb was damp where"
5"The little battery icon remained"
6"Her voice fell flat."
7"It sounded as though she"
8"The pendant warmed against her"
9"She looked down."
10"The Heartstone lay beneath her"
11"It had started in her"
12"She had come because she"
13"That was the noble version."
14"The truer version was that"
15"A portal, if she was"
16"A Hel portal, according to"
17"It should not be here."
18"The place was dangerous enough"
19"Oak, not stone."
ratio0.734
79.11% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount5
totalSentences316
matches
0"By the time Aurora Carter"
1"Even in the deep hours,"
2"Because quick thinking was all"
3"Now she stood alone among"
4"As if the pendant had"
ratio0.016
68.32% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences115
technicalSentenceCount12
matches
0"The little battery icon remained stubbornly at fifty-two percent, as if even the phone had decided not to commit to anything so ordinary as time."
1"The truer version was that she had come because the pendant had pulsed like this only once before, near something that should not have been possible: a split in…"
2"A Hel portal, according to people who spoke of such things as if describing a dodgy boiler."
3"Now she stood alone among trees that watched her without moving, and the pendant beat against her chest like a second, less trustworthy heart."
4"The boundary markers looked like ancient standing stones from a distance, hunched and weathered beneath moss and lichen, but up close their grain showed through…"
5"She had expected the smell of wildflowers, impossibly sweet for October, and the softening of city-dark into grove-dark, which held more blue than black."
6"Every blossom bent on its stem, faces inclined as if listening to something under the earth."
7"Or anyone with more experience in the category of supernatural wrongness than a former Pre-Law student who delivered noodles part-time and kept a cursed-or-adja…"
8"Roughly the size of her thumbnail, it glowed from within, not bright but deep, as if something red and alive watched from inside it."
9"The pendant’s heat softened, not gone but steadier now, as if satisfied she had understood the general direction of her doom."
10"The silver chain caught at the back of her neck, yanking tight, and the Heartstone swung against her jumper, blazing crimson."
11"Then she was on her hands and knees in wet grass outside the grove, sucking air that smelled of earth and deer droppings and faraway exhaust."
79.55% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags11
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"she continued, louder,"
0.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags10
fancyCount5
fancyTags
0"she muttered (mutter)"
1"she whispered (whisper)"
2"she continued (continue)"
3"she whispered (whisper)"
4"Rory gasped (gasp)"
dialogueSentences19
tagDensity0.526
leniency1
rawRatio0.5
effectiveRatio0.5
84.9917%