NC Bench
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Run: 2026-04-24-01KQ0NG56M5ZGBZ7KH0ZKJQ1YE
Run Details
Model:
GPT-5.5 (Reasoning)
Test:
Bad Writing Habits
Scenario:
Thriller: chase through city streets
Duration:
1m 57s
Cost:
$0.159680
Provider:
OpenAI
Evaluation summary
Score
Evaluator
Details Link
100.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
(details)
100.00%
AI-ism adverb frequency
(details)
100.00%
AI-ism character names
(details)
100.00%
AI-ism location names
(details)
87.41%
AI-ism word frequency
(details)
100.00%
Cliché density
(details)
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
(details)
100.00%
Filter word density
(details)
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
(details)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
(details)
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
(details)
0.00%
Name drop frequency
(details)
100.00%
Narrator intent-glossing
(details)
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
(details)
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
(details)
100.00%
Paragraph length variance
(details)
100.00%
Passive voice overuse
(details)
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
(details)
100.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
(details)
100.00%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
(details)
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
(details)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
(details)
56.89%
Sentence opener variety
(details)
94.79%
Adverb-first sentence starts
(details)
100.00%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
(details)
47.68%
Subject-first sentence starts
(details)
23.70%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
(details)
100.00%
Technical jargon density
(details)
100.00%
Useless dialogue additions
(details)
100.00%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
(details)
90.3487%
Overall
Model input
System
You are an expert and award-winning novel writer in the dark Thriller genre. Your readers are hooked on your stories and can't wait to read the book you have in store. <important> - MUST: Start each chapter in medias res (in the middle of action). AVOID talking about the weather, time of day, the position of the sun, or other boring stuff. - The instructions/summary are just a that, a summary. Feel free to add details, stretch sections and add interesting transitions/descriptions/fillers. - When called for it, have fast-paced action, but otherwise take things slow. This is an experience, and not for people with short attention spans. Enjoy the wine, not slurp Red Bull. - Add descriptions when transitioning places/times/etc, or when coming by new places (e.g. a corner shop, a cafe, etc.). But remember: NOT at the start or end of a chapter. - MUST: AVOID ending in internal monologue, reminiscing or waiting for the next day. A good chapter end is when we're ending right when shit hits the fan. We want to have the reader be excited for what comes next. So no reminiscing, contemplating or summarizing the day. It's popcorn time! </important>
User/Human
Take into account the following glossary of characters/locations/items/lore... when writing your response: <codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4417" name="Tomás Herrera" aliases="Tommy, Tomás, Herrera" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Support"> <eyeColor>warm brown</eyeColor> <hair>short curly dark brown</hair> <height>5'10"</height> <age>29</age> <skinTone>olive skin</skinTone> <scar>scar running along his left forearm from a knife attack</scar> <medallion>Saint Christopher medallion around his neck</medallion> <birthplace>Seville, Spain</birthplace> <description>A former paramedic who provides off-the-books medical care for the clique.</description> <backstory>Born in Seville, Spain. He moved to London to work for the NHS but lost his license after administering unauthorized treatments to supernatural patients.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> </codex> <proseGuidelines> <styleGuide> - Write in past tense and use British English spelling and grammar - Keep a Flesch reading ease score of 60 - Respect the the Royal Order of Adjectives: The order is: opinion, size, age, shape, color, origin, material, purpose, followed by the noun itself (e.g., "a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife") - Respect the ablaut reduplication rule (e.g. tick-tock, flip-flop) - Write in active voice - Passive voice: <bad>The book was read by Sarah.</bad> - Active voice: <good>Sarah read the book.</good> - Reduce the use of passive verbs - <bad>For a moment, I was tempted to throw in the towel.</bad> - <good>For a moment, I felt tempted to throw in the towel.</good> - Avoid misplaced modifiers that can cause confusion when starting with "-ing" words: - <bad>Considering going to the store, the empty fridge reflected in Betty's eyes.</bad> - <good>Betty stared into the empty fridge. It was time to go to the store.</good> - Avoid redundant adverbs that state the obvious meaning already contained in the verb: - <bad>She whispered quietly to her mom.</bad> - <good>She whispered to her mom.</good> - Use stronger, more descriptive verbs over weak ones: - <bad>Daniel drove quickly to his mother's house.</bad> - <good>Daniel raced to his mother's house.</good> - Omit adverbs that don't add solid meaning like "extremely", "definitely", "truly", "very", "really": - <bad>The movie was extremely boring.</bad> - <good>The movie was dull.</good> - Use adverbs to replace clunky phrasing when they increase clarity: - <bad>He threw the bags into the corner in a rough manner.</bad> - <good>He threw the bags into the corner roughly.</good> - Avoid making simple thoughts needlessly complex: - <bad>After I woke up in the morning the other day, I went downstairs, turned on the stove, and made myself a very good omelet.</bad> - <good>I cooked a delicious omelet for breakfast yesterday morning.</good> - Never backload sentences by putting the main idea at the end: - <bad>I decided not to wear too many layers because it's really hot outside.</bad> - <good>It's sweltering outside today, so I dressed light.</good> - Omit nonessential details that don't contribute to the core meaning: - <bad>It doesn't matter what kind of coffee I buy, where it's from, or if it's organic or not—I need to have cream because I really don't like how the bitterness makes me feel.</bad> - <good>I add cream to my coffee because the bitter taste makes me feel unwell.</good> - Always follow the "show, don't tell" principle. For instance: - Telling: <bad>Michael was terribly afraid of the dark.</bad> - Showing: <good>Michael tensed as his mother switched off the light and left the room.</good>- Telling: <bad>I walked through the forest. It was already Fall, and I was getting cold.</bad> - Showing: <good>Dry orange leaves crunched under my feet. I pulled my coat's collar up and rubbed my hands together.</good>- Add sensory details (sight, smell, taste, sound, touch) to support the "showing" (but keep an active voice) - <bad>The room was filled with the scent of copper.</bad> - <good>Copper stung my nostrils. Blood. Recent.</good> - Use descriptive language more sporadically. While vivid descriptions are engaging, human writers often use them in bursts rather than consistently throughout a piece. When adding them, make them count! Like when we transition from one location to the next, or someone is reminiscing their past, or explaining a concept/their dream... - Avoid adverbs and clichés and overused/commonly used phrases. Aim for fresh and original descriptions. - Avoid writing all sentences in the typical subject, verb, object structure. Mix short, punchy sentences with long, descriptive ones. Drop fill words to add variety. Like so: <good>Locked. Seems like someone doesn't want his secrets exposed. I can work with that.</good> - Convey events and story through dialogue. It is important to keep a unique voice for every character and make it consistent. - Write dialogue that reveals characters' personalities, motivations, emotions, and attitudes in an interesting and compelling manner - Leave dialogue unattributed. If needed, only use "he/she said" dialogue tags and convey people's actions or face expressions through their speech. Dialogue always is standalone, never part of a paragraph. Like so: - <bad>"I don't know," Helena said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders</bad> - <good>"No idea" "Why not? It was your responsibility"</good> - Avoid boring and mushy dialog and descriptions, have dialogue always continue the action, never stall or include unnecessary fluff. Vary the descriptions to not repeat yourself. Avoid conversations that are just "Let's go" "yes, let's" or "Are you ready?" "Yes I'm ready". Those are not interesting. Think hard about every situtation and word of text before writing dialogue. If it doesn't serve a purpose and it's just people talking about their day, leave it. No one wants to have a normal dinner scene, something needs to happen for it to be in the story. Words are expensive to print, so make sure they count! - Put dialogue on its own paragraph to separate scene and action. - Use body language to reveal hidden feelings and implied accusations- Imply feelings and thoughts, never state them directly - NEVER use indicators of uncertainty like "trying" or "maybe" - NEVER use em-dashes, use commas for asides instead </styleGuide> <voiceGuide> Each character in the story needs to have distinct speech patterns: - Word choice preferences - Sentence length tendencies - Cultural/educational influences - Verbal tics and catchphrases Learn how each person talks and continue in their style, and use their Codex entries as reference. <examples> - <bad>"We need to go now." "Yes, we should leave." "I agree."</bad> <good>"Time's up." "Indeed, our departure is rather overdue." "Whatever, let's bounce."</good> - Power Dynamic Example: <bad> "We need to discuss the contract." "Yes, let's talk about it." "I have concerns." </bad> <good> "A word about the contract." "Of course, Mr. Blackwood. Whatever you need." "The terms seem..." A manicured nail tapped the desk. "Inadequate." "I can explain every-" "Can you?" </good> </examples> </voiceGuide> <dialogueFlow> When writing dialogue, consider that it usually has a goal in mind, which gives it a certain flow. Make dialogue sections also quite snappy in the back and forth, and don't spread the lines out as much. It's good to have details before, after, or as a chunk in-between, but we don't want to have a trail of "dialogue breadcrumbs" spread throughout a conversation. <examples> - Pattern 1 - Question/Deflection/Revelation: <good> "Where were you last night?" "Work. The usual." "Lipstick's an interesting shade for spreadsheets." </good> - Pattern 2 - Statement/Contradiction/Escalation: <good> "Your brother's clean." "Tommy doesn't touch drugs." "I'm holding his tox screen." </good> - Pattern 3 - Observation/Denial/Truth: <good> "That's a new watch." "Birthday gift." "We both know what birthdays mean in this business." </good> - Example - A Simple Coffee Order: <bad> "I'll have a coffee." "What size?" "Large, please." </bad> <good> "Black coffee.""Size?""Large. Been a long night." "That bodega shooting?" "You watch too much news." "My brother owns that store." </good> This short exchange: - Advances plot (reveals connection to crime) - Shows character (cop working late) - Creates tension (unexpected connection) - Sets up future conflict (personal stake) - Example - Dinner Scene: <bad> "Pass the salt." "Here you go." "Thanks." </bad> <good> "Salt?" "Perfect as is. Mother's recipe." "Mother always did prefer... bland things." "Unlike your first wife?" </good> - Example - Office Small Talk: <bad> "Nice weather today." "Yes, very nice." "Good for golf." </bad> <good> "Perfect golf weather." "Shame about your membership." "Temporary suspension. Board meets next week." "I know. I called the vote." </good> </examples> </dialogueFlow> <subtextGuide> - Layer dialogue with hidden meaning: <bad>"I hate you!" she yelled angrily.</bad> <good>"I made your favorite dinner." The burnt pot sat accusingly on the stove.</good> - Create tension through indirect communication: <bad>"Are you cheating on me?"</bad> <good>"Late meeting again?" The lipstick stain on his collar caught the light.</good> <examples> - Example 1 - Unspoken Betrayal: <bad> "Did you tell them about our plans?" "No, I would never betray you." "I don't believe you." </bad> <good> "Funny. Johnson mentioned our expansion plans today." "The market's full of rumors." "Mentioned the exact numbers, actually." The pen in his hand snapped. </good> - Example 2 - Failed Marriage: <bad> "You're never home anymore." "I have to work late." "I miss you." </bad> <good> "Your dinner's in the microwave. Again." "Meetings ran long." "They always do." She folded the same shirt for the third time. </good> - Example 3 - Power Struggle: <bad> "You can't fire me." "I'm the boss." "I'll fight this." </bad> <good> "That's my father's nameplate you're sitting behind." "Was." "The board meeting's on Thursday." </good> </examples> </subtextGuide> <sceneDetail> While writing dialogue makes things more fun, sometimes we need to add detail to not have it be a full on theatre piece. <examples> - Example A (Power Dynamic Scene) <good> "Where's my money?" The ledger snapped shut. "I need more time." "Interesting." He pulled out a familiar gold pocket watch. My mother's. "Time is exactly what you bargained with last month." "That was different-" "Was it?" The watch dangled between us. "Four generations of O'Reillys have wound this every night. Your mother. Your grandmother. Your great-grandmother.Shall we see who winds it next?" </good> - Example B (Action Chase) It's much better to be in the head of the character experiencing it, showing a bit of their though-process, mannerisms and personality: <good> Three rules for surviving a goblin chase in Covent Garden: Don't run straight. Don't look back. Don't let them herd you underground. I broke the first rule at Drury Lane. Rookie mistake. The fruit cart I dodged sailed into the wall behind me. Glass shattered. Someone screamed about insurance. *Tourist season's getting rough*, the scream seemed to say. Londoners adapt fast. "Oi! Market's closed!" The goblin's accent was pure East End. They're evolving. Learning. I spotted the Warren Street tube station sign ahead. *Shit.* There went rule three. </good> - Example C (Crime Scene Investigation) <good> "Greek." Davies snapped photos of the symbols. "No, wait. Reverse Greek." "Someone's been watching too many horror films." I picked up a receipt from the floor. Occult supply shop in Camden. Paid by credit card. *Amateur hour*. "Could be dangerous though," Davies said. "Remember Bristol?" "Bristol was Sanskrit. And actual cultists." I pointed to the nearest symbol. "This genius wrote 'darkness' backwards but used a Sigma instead of an S. It's summoning Instagram followers at best." "Speaking of followers..." Davies pointed to heavy foot traffic in the dust. Multiple sets. All new trainers. *Ah.* "Anyone check local uni paranormal societies?" </good> - Example D (Dialogue-heavy) <good> "Found your card in her wallet." The detective slid it across the table. Worn edges. Folded corner. Three years old at least. "Standard practice. I work missing persons." "Funny thing about missing persons.Eventually they stop being missing. Turn up in the Thames. Under motorways. In pieces." "I don't-" "You found four last year. All breathing." She opened a file. "This would've been your first dead one. If we hadn't found her first." The card felt heavier somehow. </good> </examples> </sceneDetail> <sceneOpenings> KEY RULE: Never open with more than one paragraph of description, no matter how beautiful. Description should be earned through action and dialogue. Instead of opening with setting description, open with: - A character doing something specific - A line of dialogue that raises questions - An unexpected observation - A moment of tension or conflict - Start with a hook that's 1-2 sentences maximum - Follow with a smaller paragraph that provides immediate context - Vary paragraph size from the start to create visual interest </sceneOpenings> </proseGuidelines> Write a chapter based on the following instructions: <instructions> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the thriller genre. A detective is pursuing a suspect through rain-soaked city streets at night. The chase takes them from the street level down into an underground market. The detective must decide whether to follow the suspect into unfamiliar and potentially dangerous territory. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary. </instructions>
Model response
Messages
Meta
AI
Detective Harlow Quinn slammed her
shoulder into the suspect before he cleared the alley mouth, and both of them skidded across the slick pavement towards the wheels of a crawling black cab.
The cabbie stamped on the
horn.
Harlow rolled, came up on
one knee, and snatched at the man’s coat. Her fingers caught wet wool, then empty air.
He twisted free with a
medic’s speed, not a street thug’s panic, and bolted past the bins behind a shuttered kebab shop. “Police. Stop.” He did not stop.
Rain needled Harlow’s scalp and
ran down the back of her collar.
The city smeared itself in
neon and brake lights, all red wounds and green ghosts. Behind her, above the Soho crowd, the distinctive green sign of The Raven’s Nest buzzed like an insect over the bar’s black door.
She had watched that door
for six hours.
She had watched the maps
on the walls through smoked glass when someone opened it. Old coastlines. Dead empires. Black-and-white photographs of people who never
seemed to
face the camera.
She had watched men arrive
with empty hands and leave with bulging inside pockets.
She had watched the man
now fleeing carry a brown leather medical satchel through the back door while Silas’ bouncer blocked the view with his wide shoulders.
Then she had seen the
blood. Not much. Three drops on the alley brick. Fresh, bright, and too neat.
Now the suspect was running
north, through wet streets and late drinkers who scattered as Harlow drove through them with military precision.
Her boots struck puddles hard
enough to splash grit up her shins.
Her worn leather watch slapped
against the bone of her left wrist. “Move.”
A stag party split around
her, laughing until they saw her warrant card in one hand and the baton in the other.
The suspect vaulted a low
chain outside a closed bakery, landed badly, then recovered with a limp he hid after two strides. Olive skin. Short curly dark brown hair plastered to his skull. Five-ten. Late twenties. Medical bag held tight to his ribs. Harlow filed each detail away. “Tomás Herrera.” He flinched at the name. Good. He glanced back. Warm brown eyes.
A scar along his left
forearm, pale against rain-dark skin. Something silver flashed at his throat, a Saint Christopher medallion bouncing with each breath. “Detective Quinn, you are making a mistake.”
His voice carried a Spanish
edge, soft vowels dragged over hard panic. “You can explain that in custody.” “Custody will get people killed.” “People already bled in that alley.”
He cut across the road
between a bus and a cyclist. The cyclist swore and clipped a wing mirror. Harlow followed through the same gap, close enough to feel the bus breathe heat against her coat. A car skidded short of her knee. She did not slow. Herrera did. Only for a heartbeat.
Only enough to check the
pavement near a drain. He had dropped something. Harlow saw it roll under the amber wash of a shopfront, a small white disc, not coin, not plastic. Bone. Carved around the edge with tiny marks that
looked like teeth
. Herrera lunged back for it. Harlow got there first. Her boot pinned it. His face changed. Not fear of arrest. Fear of the thing he had lost. “Give me that.” “You can add bribery to obstruction.” “It opens the door.” “To what?” He looked past her shoulder, towards the road, towards the shape of a woman in a long black coat standing under a dead streetlamp. Harlow clocked the woman without turning her head. Tall. Still. No umbrella. No phone. No wasted motion. The sort of stillness that belonged on a firing range or in a morgue. Herrera took one step back. “Detective, listen with both ears. You followed me from the Raven. Fine. You want names, I have names. You want charges, I can give you enough to fill your little forms until Christmas. But if she reaches us, neither of us signs anything.” Harlow bent, scooped up the bone disc, and closed it in her fist. The woman under the lamp smiled. Not wide. Not friendly. A small correction to an already finished sentence. Herrera ran. Harlow chased him. The pursuit dragged them out of Soho’s spill of bars and into the hard arteries north, where late buses hissed at kerbs and shop shutters wore graffiti like old bruises. Herrera knew the routes that avoided cameras. He cut through service lanes, under scaffold, past a corner shop with metal grilles over its windows and towers of fruit collapsing in the doorway. Oranges rolled under Harlow’s boots. A night clerk shouted something about paying for damages, then shut up when the woman in the black coat passed his window without a reflection in the glass. Harlow’s radio crackled against her shoulder. “Quinn, report your location.” She pressed the transmit button. “Northbound from Greek Street. Suspect identified as Tomás Herrera. Former NHS paramedic, struck off. Possible accomplice in pursuit. Need units towards Camden High Street.” Static chewed the reply. “Quinn, repeat. Did you say Morris?” Her stride faltered. Herrera glanced back, saw it, and took a hard left beneath a railway bridge. Harlow’s jaw tightened. “Control, repeat your last.” Only static answered. Beneath it, too low for signal bleed, a man laughed once. Short. Familiar. DS Morris had laughed like that when a suspect gave them a false name while wearing a work lanyard. Harlow shoved the memory out of her path and sprinted harder. Herrera reached a row of locked iron gates beside a boarded entrance to an old Underground stairwell. The sign above it had lost half its letters. CAMD N TOWN SOUTH. Posters peeled in strips from the tiled walls beyond, their colours swollen by damp. Someone had chained the main gate shut, but Herrera went for a smaller service door sunk between two panels of soot-stained brick. He slapped his palm against the rusted lock. Nothing happened. He swore in Spanish and searched his pockets. Harlow closed the distance. “End of the line.” “Not even close.” He looked at her fist. “The token. On the lock. Now.” “Hands on your head.” “Dios mío, you are built out of paperwork.” She aimed her baton at his knee. “Hands.” The woman in the black coat stepped from the bridge shadow behind them. Her shoes made no sound in the water. Her face belonged to no age Harlow could settle on. Young at the mouth. Ancient around the eyes. Rain slid over her skin in slow threads, as if reluctant to touch her. “Tomás Herrera,” the woman said. Her voice
sounded like a needle drawn through cloth
. Herrera’s shoulders dropped. “No debts mature tonight.” “Debts mature when they are remembered.” Harlow shifted to keep both in view. “Metropolitan Police. Stay where you are.” The woman looked at Harlow’s warrant card, then at Harlow. “You brought a constable.” “Detective.” “Ranks change. Meat does not.” Harlow’s baton came up. The woman’s gaze dipped to the fist that held the bone token. “That is not yours.” Herrera moved. Not away. Towards Harlow. He grabbed her wrist and slammed the bone token against the lock with her hand beneath his. The disc bit into her palm. Pain flashed up her arm. The iron door shuddered and opened inward on a sigh that smelled of old dust, hot metal, and something sweet left too long in a jar. Harlow drove her elbow into Herrera’s ribs. He grunted but shoved her through the doorway with him as the woman’s hand swept the space where Harlow’s throat had been. The fingers struck brick. Brick blistered. Harlow hit the first stair hard, caught the rail, and spun back. Herrera slammed the door. From the other side came one soft tap, nail against metal. Tap. Tap. Tap. Harlow pressed her baton under Herrera’s chin and pinned him against the tiled wall. Water ran off both of them and pattered down the stairs. “Give me one reason I don’t break your jaw.” He coughed, one hand clamped over his ribs. “Because she can smell broken things.” “Who is she?” “A collector.” “Of?” “People who owe the wrong favours.” “That tells me nothing.” “It tells you to keep your blood inside.” Her radio spat static again. She clicked the channel. Nothing. Her phone showed no bars, then symbols she did not recognise crawled across the screen like black ants. Beyond Herrera, the staircase sank into darkness. Not the ordinary sort. Harlow knew dark rooms, dark estates, dark fields where dogs found what men buried. This darkness pressed against the tiles as if it had
weight
. Her training offered the clean answer. Hold position. Call for support. Secure the suspect at the exit. Do not enter unknown ground with a compromised radio, no map, and a civilian threat at your back.
Then a sound rose from
below. A market. Not traffic. Not a station crowd. A layered murmur of bargaining voices, clinking glass, caged wings, distant music played on strings out of tune with human fingers. The smell changed as the air climbed towards them. Fried onions. Ozone. Wet fur. Incense. Blood in copper bowls. Herrera watched her face. “You wanted The Raven’s Nest. This is where it buys its miracles.” Harlow tightened her grip on the baton. “Move.” “Detective.” “Now.” “That badge will not feed you down there.” “I’m not hungry.” “No. You are angry. Different appetite.” She seized his satchel strap and hauled him down the steps. The stairwell curved twice, narrower each time. The white tiles gave way to older brick, then to black stone patched with iron staples. Old Underground signs appeared and vanished behind hanging cloth, as if the station had grown new organs over its bones. At the bottom, a pair of ticket barriers blocked the passage. Each gate had a small brass mouth instead of a card reader. Herrera held out his hand. “The token.” Harlow kept it. “The lock took blood from my palm. It can take yours next.” “You learn fast.” “I listen with both ears.” A brief smile crossed his mouth despite the baton at his back. “Careful, Detective. That is how this place gets fond of you.” She pushed the bone token into the nearest brass mouth. The barrier clicked open. The Veil Market breathed around them. It filled the abandoned platform beneath Camden from wall to wall. Stalls crowded the tracks under awnings of dark canvas and patched
silk
. Lamps burned with blue flames inside jars. Vendors displayed little silver knives, black salt in paper twists, vials of banned alchemical substances, and bundles of feathers tied with red thread. A butcher in a striped apron sharpened a cleaver over a tray of pale tongues that twitched when sparks hit them. A woman with glass eyes sold memories from stoppered bottles, each one labelled in a careful hand. First kiss. Father’s voice. Last honest prayer. Harlow kept Herrera ahead of her and gave nothing the gift of surprise. Faces turned. Some looked human. Many had perfected the habit. A man with a bowler hat raised it as she passed, revealing moths nesting in his hair. Two children with identical round faces watched from beneath a stall, their smiles full of adult teeth. At the far end, beneath the ghost of a platform sign, an auctioneer tapped a hammer made of bone against a lectern. “Lot seventeen, one constable’s courage, preserved in gin. Sharp finish. Excellent for cowardice cures and wedding speeches.” Laughter rippled through the crowd. Harlow did not look away first. Herrera murmured, “They smell police.” “I gathered.” “They smell grief louder.” She shoved him into the lee of a tea stall made from an old newspaper kiosk. Its counter held brass kettles and chipped cups. Steam curled from one pot in the shape of grasping hands. “Talk.” “Here?” “You said names.” “You want a notebook? Ask that gentleman there, he binds them in skin.” Harlow cuffed one of his wrists to a rusted rail. The click carried through the nearby stalls. Several heads tilted towards the sound. Herrera’s
warmth
vanished. “That was stupid.” “You’re under arrest on suspicion of assault, obstruction, and whatever charge fits a secret market under Camden.” “Possession of ugly truths. Carries a long sentence.” “Who was bleeding at the Raven?” He swallowed. “No one who can go to hospital.” “Name.” “Lena Crowhurst. Nineteen. Bitten by something her boyfriend bought as a joke. Joke grew legs.” “You treated her off the books.” “I kept her breathing.” “You lost your licence for unauthorised treatments.” “I lost it because a consultant saw claws under a blanket and chose his career over a patient.” “Spare me the sermon.” “It is not a sermon. It is triage.” Harlow leaned close enough to see rainwater tremble on his lashes. “You left The Raven’s Nest with a bag full of blood and ran from police.” “I ran because I saw her behind you.” “The collector.” “Yes.” “What does she want?” “My patient. Or the thing inside her. Depends which price she likes today.” A bell rang at the ticket barriers above. Once. Twice. The market quietened in strips, like a room losing oxygen. Herrera’s eyes hardened. “She followed.” Harlow glanced towards the stairs. The crowd had already begun to part. Vendors drew cloths over their goods. The butcher slid the twitching tongues beneath his counter and picked up the cleaver. Harlow unlocked Herrera’s cuff from the rail but left it around his wrist. “Where is Lena?” He stared at her. “You are taking me in or helping me?” “I’m finding the bleeding girl.” “That was not an answer.” “It was the only one you get.” The brass mouths at the barrier
began to
chatter. Teeth, Harlow realised. Not carved. Real teeth, set in the metal, clacking with hunger. A Market guard stepped into their path before they could move. He wore a narrow
velvet
coat and a mask made from a fox skull. One hand held a ledger. The other held a hooked blade with a wet black edge. “Unregistered entry. One token admitted. Two bodies crossed.” Harlow showed her warrant card. “Detective Harlow Quinn, Metropolitan Police. Step aside.” The fox skull dipped towards the card. “Paper oath. Surface ink. No jurisdiction.” “I said step aside.” “You brought iron, blood, and unpaid breath into the Veil Market.” Herrera lifted his free hand. “She is with me.” The guard turned the skull towards him. “Tomás Herrera. Saint Christopher man. You owe three favours, two measures of marrow, and one apology to the eelwife.” “The eelwife knows what she did.” “She remembers what you did with the bucket.” “It was a medical emergency.” “It was a wedding.” Harlow cut in. “Bill him later.” The guard looked back at her. Through the fox skull’s eye holes, something pale moved where eyes should have been. “Detective Harlow Quinn.” Her name sounded wrong in his mouth. Too exact. Too intimate. The market held its breath. The guard opened the ledger. Pages flipped without his touch, flutter-flutter, faster than fingers. They stopped on a sheet marked with dark brown print. “Previous claim attached.” Harlow’s hand tightened around the baton. “I’ve never been here.” “No.” The guard
traced
a line with one black nail. “Claim entered by Detective Sergeant Alistair Morris. Three years, four months, twelve days. Payment incomplete.” The name hit the space between them like a dropped blade. Herrera went still. Harlow’s
pulse
did not show in her face. She had learned that in interview rooms and briefing halls, under fluorescent lights, while senior officers explained how an experienced detective had walked into an empty warehouse and died of injuries no pathologist could explain. “Morris is dead.” The fox skull tilted. “Surface category.” The bell at the barriers rang a third time. Every lamp in the market bent its blue flame towards the stairs. The woman in the black coat stepped through the open gate, dry as bone. Rain did not follow her. She carried Harlow’s radio in one hand. It crackled with Control’s voice, stretched thin and frightened. “Quinn, withdraw. Quinn, do not engage. Quinn, Morris is on the line.” The woman lifted the radio to her mouth. “Too late.” Herrera grabbed Harlow’s sleeve. “Run now.” Harlow did not run. She drew her baton and faced the woman. The crowd recoiled from the central aisle as a figure stepped out behind the collector, dressed in the remains of a charcoal suit Harlow had seen folded into an evidence bag three years ago. Mud streaked his cuffs. Silver wire stitched his mouth at the corners. His eyes found Harlow with awful, living recognition. DS Morris raised his old service pistol. Then he fired.
created_at
"2026-04-24T21:14:28.449Z"
4/24/2026, 9:14:28 PM
model
"openai/gpt-5.5-20260423"
app_id
182717
external_user
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streamed
true
cancelled
false
latency
24809
moderation_latency
(null)
generation_time
116942
tokens_prompt
4663
tokens_completion
5042
native_tokens_prompt
4132
native_tokens_completion
4634
native_tokens_completion_images
0
native_tokens_reasoning
1034
native_tokens_cached
0
num_media_prompt
(null)
num_input_audio_prompt
(null)
num_media_completion
0
num_search_results
(null)
num_fetches
(null)
web_search_engine
(null)
origin
"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byok
false
finish_reason
"stop"
native_finish_reason
"completed"
usage
0.15968
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(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id
"58e5b336-423e-430b-a2ab-8bc353f0c51b"
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"resp_0e4f6fea3988a2d20169ebdd3490a88190a0919a2a6434ce13"
is_byok
false
latency
329
model_permaslug
"openai/gpt-5.5-20260423"
provider_name
"OpenAI"
status
200
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"completions"
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total_cost
0.15968
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upstream_inference_cost
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provider_name
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Evaluation details
Result
Evaluator
Details
Meta Data
100.00%
Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags
3
adverbTagCount
0
adverbTags
(empty)
dialogueSentences
105
tagDensity
0.029
leniency
0.057
rawRatio
0
effectiveRatio
0
100.00%
AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount
2780
totalAiIsmAdverbs
0
found
(empty)
highlights
(empty)
100.00%
AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
100.00%
AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
(empty)
found
(empty)
87.41%
AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount
2780
totalAiIsms
7
found
0
word
"familiar"
count
1
1
word
"weight"
count
1
2
word
"silk"
count
1
3
word
"warmth"
count
1
4
word
"velvet"
count
1
5
word
"traced"
count
1
6
word
"pulse"
count
1
highlights
0
"familiar"
1
"weight"
2
"silk"
3
"warmth"
4
"velvet"
5
"traced"
6
"pulse"
100.00%
Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches
0
maxInWindow
0
found
(empty)
highlights
(empty)
100.00%
Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells
0
narrationSentences
255
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount
1
hedgeCount
2
narrationSentences
255
filterMatches
0
"watch"
hedgeMatches
0
"seemed to"
1
"began to"
100.00%
Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences
358
gibberishSentences
0
adjustedGibberishSentences
0
longSentenceCount
0
runOnParagraphCount
0
giantParagraphCount
0
wordSaladCount
0
repetitionLoopCount
0
controlTokenCount
0
repeatedSegmentCount
0
maxSentenceWordsSeen
43
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans
0
markdownWords
0
totalWords
2780
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions
15
unquotedAttributions
0
matches
(empty)
0.00%
Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions
93
wordCount
2131
uniqueNames
17
maxNameDensity
2.11
worstName
"Harlow"
maxWindowNameDensity
5
worstWindowName
"Harlow"
discoveredNames
Harlow
45
Quinn
1
Soho
2
Raven
1
Nest
1
Saint
1
Christopher
1
Spanish
2
Morris
2
Underground
2
Herrera
24
Veil
1
Market
2
Camden
1
Control
1
Rain
3
Tap
3
persons
0
"Harlow"
1
"Quinn"
2
"Raven"
3
"Nest"
4
"Saint"
5
"Christopher"
6
"Morris"
7
"Underground"
8
"Herrera"
9
"Market"
10
"Control"
11
"Rain"
12
"Tap"
places
0
"Soho"
1
"Spanish"
globalScore
0.444
windowScore
0
100.00%
Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences
145
glossingSentenceCount
2
matches
0
"looked like teeth"
1
"sounded like a needle drawn through cloth"
100.00%
"Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches
0
per1kWords
0
wordCount
2780
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount
1
totalSentences
358
matches
0
"watched that door"
100.00%
Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs
234
mean
11.88
std
15.65
cv
1.317
sampleLengths
0
32
1
49
2
2
3
4
4
50
5
8
6
71
7
6
8
13
9
46
10
1
11
22
12
43
13
5
14
2
15
5
16
1
17
30
18
7
19
12
20
6
21
5
22
6
23
47
24
2
25
13
26
4
27
31
28
5
29
4
30
4
31
3
32
11
33
3
34
6
35
4
36
2
37
24
38
31
39
5
40
43
41
13
42
6
43
12
44
2
45
3
46
95
47
6
48
4
49
5
100.00%
Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount
0
totalSentences
255
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount
1
totalVerbs
343
matches
0
"was running"
100.00%
Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount
0
semicolonCount
0
flaggedSentences
0
totalSentences
358
ratio
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount
649
adjectiveStacks
0
stackExamples
(empty)
adverbCount
5
adverbRatio
0.007704160246533128
lyAdverbCount
2
lyAdverbRatio
0.0030816640986132513
100.00%
Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences
358
echoCount
0
echoWords
(empty)
100.00%
Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences
358
mean
7.77
std
6.5
cv
0.838
sampleLengths
0
32
1
6
2
13
3
8
4
22
5
2
6
4
7
12
8
15
9
23
10
8
11
15
12
2
13
2
14
11
15
14
16
27
17
6
18
2
19
6
20
5
21
22
22
12
23
12
24
1
25
22
26
22
27
2
28
9
29
1
30
2
31
7
32
5
33
2
34
5
35
1
36
3
37
3
38
10
39
14
40
7
41
12
42
6
43
5
44
6
45
11
46
8
47
17
48
7
49
4
56.89%
Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats
18
diversityRatio
0.3715083798882682
totalSentences
358
uniqueOpeners
133
94.79%
Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount
6
totalSentences
211
matches
0
"Then she had seen the"
1
"Only for a heartbeat."
2
"Only enough to check the"
3
"Only static answered."
4
"Then a sound rose from"
5
"Then he fired."
ratio
0.028
100.00%
Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount
49
totalSentences
211
matches
0
"Her fingers caught wet wool,"
1
"He twisted free with a"
2
"He did not stop."
3
"She had watched that door"
4
"She had watched the maps"
5
"She had watched men arrive"
6
"She had watched the man"
7
"Her boots struck puddles hard"
8
"Her worn leather watch slapped"
9
"He flinched at the name."
10
"He glanced back."
11
"His voice carried a Spanish"
12
"He cut across the road"
13
"She did not slow."
14
"He had dropped something."
15
"Her boot pinned it."
16
"His face changed."
17
"He looked past her shoulder,"
18
"He cut through service lanes,"
19
"She pressed the transmit button."
ratio
0.232
47.68%
Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount
174
totalSentences
211
matches
0
"Detective Harlow Quinn slammed her"
1
"The cabbie stamped on the"
2
"Harlow rolled, came up on"
3
"Her fingers caught wet wool,"
4
"He twisted free with a"
5
"He did not stop."
6
"Rain needled Harlow’s scalp and"
7
"The city smeared itself in"
8
"She had watched that door"
9
"She had watched the maps"
10
"She had watched men arrive"
11
"She had watched the man"
12
"Her boots struck puddles hard"
13
"Her worn leather watch slapped"
14
"A stag party split around"
15
"The suspect vaulted a low"
16
"Harlow filed each detail away."
17
"He flinched at the name."
18
"He glanced back."
19
"A scar along his left"
ratio
0.825
23.70%
Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount
1
totalSentences
211
matches
0
"Now the suspect was running"
ratio
0.005
100.00%
Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences
85
technicalSentenceCount
5
matches
0
"Now the suspect was running north, through wet streets and late drinkers who scattered as Harlow drove through them with military precision."
1
"Rain slid over her skin in slow threads, as if reluctant to touch her."
2
"The iron door shuddered and opened inward on a sigh that smelled of old dust, hot metal, and something sweet left too long in a jar."
3
"Old Underground signs appeared and vanished behind hanging cloth, as if the station had grown new organs over its bones."
4
"A butcher in a striped apron sharpened a cleaver over a tray of pale tongues that twitched when sparks hit them."
100.00%
Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags
3
uselessAdditionCount
0
matches
(empty)
100.00%
Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags
2
fancyCount
1
fancyTags
0
"Herrera murmured (murmur)"
dialogueSentences
105
tagDensity
0.019
leniency
0.038
rawRatio
0.5
effectiveRatio
0.019
90.3487%