Run: 2026-04-24-01KQ0P8EHYDK8A52X8T78E5GM0

“Bill, stop licking the window.” “I’m testing for alarms, Molly.” “With your tongue?” “It’s a sophisticated tongue.” “It’s a bouncy castle, not the Bank of England.” “Exactly. Nobody suspects the castle.” “Focus. At three o’clock, the magician starts sawing Uncle Kevin in half. That’s our window.” “Won’t the children notice two adults dragging sacks through the jelly station?” “Not if we’re disguised.” “As what?” “Responsible entertainers.” “Terrifying. What’s my role?” “You’re Captain Wiggles, pirate balloon artist.” “I can’t make balloons.” “You can pop them dramatically and shout, ‘Sea battle!’” “And you?” “Princess Sprinkle, gift inspector.” “That sounds official.” “I made a clipboard.” “Brilliant. What about the dog?” “The invitation says ‘friendly Labrador.’” “That means hostile rug with teeth.” “I brought sausages.” “For the dog?” “For courage. But mostly the dog.” “Which presents are we taking?” “All of them.” “Even the squishy ones?” “Especially the squishy ones. Could be cashmere.” “Children don’t get cashmere.” “Rich children get existential dread in cashmere.” “Exit plan?” “We load the presents into the catering van.” “Do we have a catering van?” “We have your scooter.” “My scooter has a basket.” “Then we steal selectively.” “So, not all the presents?” “Fine, Bill. We steal the best presents and one cupcake each.” “Two cupcakes.” “Professional criminals don’t negotiate.” “Hungry ones do.”