Run: 2026-04-24-01KQ0Q1EJMQT30ENDHQ3QVZE70

Run Details

Duration:
1m 52s
Cost:
$0.152840
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The rain had turned the green neon sign above The Raven’s Nest into a smear of light on the pavement, a wet, trembling thing that seemed less written than remembered. From behind the bar, Rory watched umbrellas drift past the front window like dark jellyfish, collapsing and blooming as people came in from Old Compton Street with damp collars and red hands. It was just past nine, the hour when the after-work drinkers surrendered their stools to the people who had put on lipstick for the night. Soho changed its face without apology. Inside the Nest, the old maps on the walls seemed to float in the dimness, continents browned by age, coastlines curling at the edges. Black-and-white photographs watched from their crooked frames: men in hats outside embassies, women smoking in train stations, a bridge in Prague under snow. Silas said half of them were genuine history and half were lies, which Rory had come to understand was his way of saying the same thing twice. She was wiping down a ring of beer from the counter when Silas came through from the back with his slight left-legged drag, the silver signet ring on his right hand catching the light as he adjusted the cuffs of his shirt. He wore fatigue the way other men wore cologne: faintly, deliberately. “Table six needs another gin,” he said. “Table six needs an intervention.” “Gin first. Salvation later.” Rory reached for the bottle. Her shoulder-length black hair had begun to curl at the ends from the damp heat of the room, and she tucked it behind her ear with the back of her wrist. The small crescent scar on her left wrist flashed pale under the bar light. She still noticed it sometimes, the old childhood mark, a moon she carried under her skin. More often, she noticed the other marks that had not stayed visible. She poured the gin, added tonic, lime, ice. Her hands had become steady in London. Cardiff had left them restless. Evan had made them careful. The city had taught them speed. Silas leaned beside her, lowering his voice. “You all right?” She gave him a look. “I’m pouring drinks, not defusing a bomb.” “You’ve got your thinking face on.” “I have one face.” “You have several. Most of them rude.” She smiled despite herself and set the drink on a tray. “That’s my Welsh inheritance.” “Thought the legal pedantry was your Irish inheritance.” “That too.” He studied her a moment longer, hazel eyes sharp beneath his heavy brow, then let it pass. Silas was good at letting things pass. It was one of his more dangerous talents. Rory delivered the gin to table six, where a woman in a red jacket was explaining to two bored men why all art after 1979 was a cry for help. By the time Rory returned to the bar, the door opened again and wind pushed a skein of rain across the floorboards. A woman stepped in and paused beneath the green spill of neon. For one second Rory did not recognize her. Recognition came instead as a physical sensation: a tightening behind the ribs, a coldness in the palms. The face was older, of course. Everyone’s was. But it had altered in some other, less negotiable way. The softness of her cheeks had sharpened. Her hair, once a riot of copper curls that seemed to enter a room before she did, was cropped close to her skull and gone entirely silver at the temples, though she could not be more than twenty-six. A long camel coat hung from her shoulders with expensive severity. In one hand she held a black umbrella; in the other, a leather satchel scuffed white at the corners. Eva Morgan looked around The Raven’s Nest as though she had taken a wrong turn into a story someone else had told about her. Then her eyes found Rory. There were names that time wore down smooth, and names that stayed barbed. Eva’s expression opened, shut, opened again. She smiled, but it arrived late. “Rory?” No one had called her that in precisely that way for years. Not as a question. Not with Cardiff folded inside it. Rory’s first instinct was absurdly practical: she glanced down to see if her shirt was stained. It wasn’t. Her second was to leave by the back, through the corridor past the bookshelf and the hidden room Silas pretended did not exist unless he needed it. She did neither. “Eva,” she said. Silas, behind her, went still in the subtle way of a man listening for a gun in a crowded place. Rory felt him measure the air between them. Then he reached for a towel and began polishing glasses that did not need polishing. Eva came to the bar. She had not walked like that before. The Eva Rory remembered had moved as if chased by music, all elbows and enthusiasm, always half a step too fast. This Eva placed each foot with consideration. Not a limp. Not exactly. More like a truce negotiated with the body. “You work here,” Eva said. “I live upstairs.” “Oh.” Eva absorbed that with a small nod, as if revising a map. “Right.” “Drink?” The word sounded terrible as soon as she said it. Too casual. Too barmaid. Too much like she had not once sat on Eva’s bedroom floor at fourteen painting her nails blue and swearing they would leave Wales together and never forgive anyone over thirty. Eva’s smile warmed, almost. “That depends. Are you any good at making them?” “I’m excellent at opening bottles.” “Then a lager. Whatever won’t embarrass me.” Rory turned to the taps. Her heart had begun to act like something trying to escape a cupboard. She pulled the pint cleanly, letting foam rise and settle. When she set it down, Eva had taken off her coat. Beneath it she wore a dark green dress, high at the throat, with sleeves to the wrist. No jewellery except a plain gold band on a chain around her neck. Rory looked at it and looked away. “Four pounds eighty,” she said. Eva took out a card. Her nails were short, unpainted. There was a pale line across the knuckle of her right index finger, a scar Rory didn’t know. Silas appeared at Rory’s shoulder. “First one’s on the house.” Rory could have kicked him. Eva looked at him properly for the first time. “That’s kind.” “It’s business,” he said. “Anyone who makes Carter look like she’s seen a ghost has earned my curiosity.” “Silas,” Rory warned. He offered Eva a small nod. “Silas Blackwood.” “Eva Morgan.” “Pleasure.” His signet ring flashed as he lifted the towel from the counter. “I’ll be within shouting distance, which is not the same as listening.” “Those are exactly the same thing for you,” Rory said. “Not legally.” He moved away with his uneven gait, leaving them in a pocket of noise: glasses chiming, laughter flaring, rain ticking at the windows. Eva wrapped both hands around the pint but did not drink. “Carter,” she said. “That’s strange. I heard him call you that and thought he meant someone else.” “People here use it sometimes.” “You hated being called Carter.” “I hated being called a lot of things.” The sentence landed heavier than intended. Eva looked down into her beer. The foam had left a white moustache on the inside of the glass. “I didn’t know if I should come in,” she said. “I saw you through the window. At least, I thought it was you. Then I stood outside in the rain for five minutes like a complete idiot.” “I didn’t see you.” “No. You were laughing at something the man said.” Rory tried to remember laughing. It seemed like a thing her body had done without permission. “What are you doing in London?” “Conference near Russell Square. Education policy. Very glamorous. Mostly bad coffee and men named Julian saying the word outcomes.” “You’re a teacher?” “Was.” Eva finally took a sip of beer. “Now I help schools prove they’re doing the things they’re too underfunded to do.” “That sounds bleak.” “It is, but with spreadsheets.” There it was: a flicker of the old Eva, the quick sideways wit, a match struck in a dark cupboard. Rory almost laughed. The almost hurt. “You?” Eva asked. “Are you still—” “No.” The answer came too fast. Eva’s fingers tightened around the glass. “I was going to say writing essays about things you don’t believe in.” Rory breathed out. “No. I left Pre-Law.” “I heard.” From whom? The question rose and fell. Cardiff had mouths in every wall. Her father would have called it concern. Her mother, news. Evan, if he’d heard, would have called it proof. “I deliver food most days,” Rory said. “Golden Empress, near Wardour Street. Evenings here when Silas needs help or pretends he does.” Eva nodded, too carefully again. “Do you like it?” “No one asks me to cite case law while holding sweet-and-sour pork. So yes.” This time Eva did laugh, but softly, as though laughter had become a room where she was no longer sure she was welcome. They fell quiet. Between them lay years with no shape, only edges. Rory saw them all at once and not at all: Eva’s last text unanswered because Rory had been in Evan’s flat with a split lip and a dead phone; the voicemail she had deleted without listening because kindness had become another thing that could corner her; the train to Paddington with one bag and no plan except the one Eva had shouted down the line—Go to London, Rory, go now, I mean it, I’ll sort something, just get out. Eva had saved her life, or something near it. Then Rory had repaid her by vanishing in instalments. “You look different,” Rory said, because silence had teeth. Eva glanced up. The overhead light found the silver at her temples. “Yes.” “I didn’t mean—” “It’s all right. I do.” She touched her cropped hair with two fingers, a gesture self-conscious and defiant at once. “I got ill for a while.” The bar seemed to recede. Rory heard the rain more clearly than the music. “Ill?” “Lymphoma.” Eva said it plainly, as if naming a station on a line she no longer travelled. “Two years ago. Chemo. Remission now. All the cheerful vocabulary.” Rory felt her mouth go dry. “Eva.” “It’s fine.” “Don’t do that.” Eva looked at her. “Don’t say it’s fine like I’m a stranger you owe good manners.” A flush rose in Eva’s throat. For a second Rory thought she would leave. Instead she smiled, and it was the first expression that truly resembled the girl Rory had known: wounded, furious, alive. “What should I say?” Eva asked. “It was grotesque? It was boring? It made my mother learn how to use WhatsApp stickers? It made my husband leave because apparently mortality was less attractive up close?” Rory’s eyes dropped to the gold band on the chain. “Ex-husband,” Eva said. “Technically. He sends Christmas cards to my parents.” “I’m sorry.” “I know.” “No, I mean—” Rory stopped. The apology had multiplied beyond grammar. She wanted to apologize for the cancer, the husband, the unanswered messages, the fact that she had been alive and unreachable while Eva’s body had betrayed her cell by cell. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” Eva turned the pint glass slowly. “I wasn’t there either.” “You got me out.” “I made one phone call.” “You did more than that.” “I told you to leave a man who was hurting you. That’s not sainthood, Rory. That’s the minimum.” Rory flinched at the clean naming of it. Even now, years later, the words sounded indecent in public, like someone had set a piece of raw meat on the polished bar. Eva saw it and softened, which somehow made it worse. “Sorry.” “No.” Rory pressed her thumb to the crescent scar on her wrist. Old habit. An anchor. “It happened. You’re allowed to know that.” “I knew it then.” “Not all of it.” “No,” Eva said. “Not all of it.” Behind them, someone cheered at the fruit machine. A chair scraped. Silas’ voice drifted from the far end of the bar, dry as paper, telling a customer that if he wanted tequila with cinnamon he could find another establishment and possibly another country. Eva’s gaze moved over the walls, the photographs, the old maps with their imperial pinks and vanished borders. “This place suits you.” Rory huffed. “Dimly lit and full of lies?” “Guarded,” Eva said. “But warm if you know where to stand.” The compliment entered Rory in the wrong place. She had prepared, over the years, for accusation. She had rehearsed defences in the shower, in stairwells, on buses: I was ashamed. I was exhausted. I didn’t know how to be known by anyone who knew me before. I thought if I answered you, I’d have to become that girl again, and she was not going to survive. She had never prepared for Eva to understand. “I read your emails,” Rory said. Eva’s face changed. “Not at first. Later. Much later. I read all of them.” “I stopped sending them.” “I know.” “There are only so many variations of are you alive a person can write before she starts feeling melodramatic.” “I was alive.” “That was the least informative possible answer.” Rory smiled, then didn’t. “I didn’t answer because I didn’t know how to say I was still scared. After. When I was safe. That felt... ungrateful.” Eva looked at her for a long moment. “Fear doesn’t send a forwarding address.” A laugh broke out of Rory, small and painful. “That sounds like something from one of those posters in a therapist’s waiting room.” “I’ve spent time in several. Some of the posters are very wise. Most have pebbles on them.” Rory leaned back against the counter. She could feel Silas not looking at her. It was practically a pressure in the room. “You used to have all that hair,” Rory said. “You used to wear eyeliner like a raccoon with a legal grievance.” “I was experimenting.” “You looked like you were about to cross-examine The Cure.” Rory laughed properly then, and Eva did too. For a moment the years thinned. They were sixteen again on the last train from Cardiff Central, sharing chips gone cold in their paper cone, pretending not to be frightened of the future because the future was frightened of them. Eva with copper hair down her back, Rory with black eyeliner smudged under bright blue eyes, both of them certain that escape was a place and not a practice. Then the moment passed, as moments did. Eva lifted her beer. “I was angry with you,” she said. Rory nodded. “You should be.” “I was very angry.” “You should be very angry.” “Don’t be agreeable. It’s unsettling.” “I don’t know what else to be.” Eva drank, set the glass down, wiped condensation from her fingertips. “I thought you’d chosen him even after leaving him. That he still got to have the part of you that answered people. That he’d made the world so small there wasn’t room in it for me.” Rory felt the truth of that like a bruise pressed. “Maybe he did. For a while.” “And then?” “Then I didn’t know who I was without the smallness.” She stared at the bar top, at the scratches silvered by years of coins, keys, nervous hands. “Silas found me crying in the cellar over a crate of limes once because someone upstairs had the same aftershave.” Eva said nothing. “I was so embarrassed I told him I had hay fever.” “In a cellar.” “Yes.” “Convincing.” “He didn’t say anything. Just sat on an upturned keg until I stopped.” Rory looked down the bar. Silas was pretending to inspect a bottle of whisky, his broad back angled away, his grey-streaked auburn hair bright where the light touched it. Quiet authority. Quiet mercy. He had given her a room above the bar when she had insisted she could find somewhere else. He had never asked for the full story. He had waited for the pieces she could hand him. “He’s been good to you,” Eva said. “Yes.” “I’m glad.” The words had no bitterness. That was almost unbearable too. Rory reached for a clean glass simply to have something in her hands. “I thought about calling when I found out you got married.” Eva raised an eyebrow. “Did you?” “No.” “Excellent call. The canapés were dreadful.” “I thought about calling when I heard about your dad.” “He recovered.” “I know. I asked my mum.” Eva watched her. “So you did keep track.” “In cowardly ways.” “Efficient cowardice. Very you.” Rory accepted that with a small tilt of her head. “I wanted you to have a life that didn’t include me making everything heavy.” Eva’s expression tightened. “You don’t get to decide what other people can carry.” The words struck harder than anger. Rory looked at her old friend, at the silver hair and the thin scar on her knuckle, at the ring no longer worn on a finger. Eva had carried plenty. Without Rory. Perhaps because of Rory. Perhaps neither; time was not a moral accountant, however desperately people wanted it to be. “I know that now,” Rory said. Eva’s shoulders lowered a fraction. “Do you?” “I’m learning.” The bar door opened again, letting in another gust of wet air. A couple stumbled in laughing, shaking rain from their sleeves. Life rushed around the two women, indifferent and generous. Rory served the couple automatically: two pints, one packet of crisps, no eye contact required. When she turned back, Eva had moved to the stool nearest the service end of the bar, as if deciding to stay. “You don’t have to,” Rory said. Eva looked up. “Have to what?” “Sit here out of politeness.” “I’m not polite anymore. Didn’t you hear? I had cancer and got divorced. I’m basically feral.” “With a conference satchel.” “Feral but employable.” Rory smiled. “Fair.” Eva traced a wet circle on the bar. “I have to catch a train in the morning.” “Back to Cardiff?” “Bristol, these days.” “Oh.” “It’s not as dramatic as London. But fewer ghosts.” Rory almost said London had plenty. Instead she said, “Do you like it?” “Some days. Some days I wake up and think I’ve accidentally become a woman who owns matching plates.” “That does sound serious.” “It gets worse. I have a favourite garden centre.” “No.” “I know.” They grinned at each other, and the grin held the grief inside it without denying it. This, Rory thought, was what no one had told her about time: it did not heal like skin. It layered. It left fossils. You could be laughing in a bar and still be twenty-two on a train with all your possessions at your feet. You could be twenty-five and also fourteen, smelling nail varnish and rain on Eva’s bedroom window. You could be saved and still not know how to live with the person who had thrown the rope. Eva took a folded receipt from her satchel and borrowed a pen from the pot beside the till. She wrote a number in quick, angular strokes, then slid it across the bar. “No speeches,” she said. “No promises to be better people. I can’t bear that sort of thing.” Rory looked at the number. “What then?” “Coffee, perhaps. One day. If you want.” The old Rory would have made a joke. The frightened Rory would have let the receipt sit there until beer soaked through it, then thrown it away during closing. The Rory who had learned to carry hot food through London rain, to sleep above a bar with old maps and secrets in the walls, to answer to Carter without forgetting Rory, picked up the receipt and folded it once. “I want,” she said. Eva’s eyes shone, though she did not cry. Rory was grateful. If Eva cried, Rory might, and she was not ready to do that where table six could see. Silas appeared as if summoned by the exact degree of emotion he preferred to interrupt. “Another lager, Ms Morgan?” Eva looked at her half-finished pint. “I should probably not.” “That wasn’t the question.” She considered him, then smiled. “Half, then.” “Wise compromise.” As he poured, his signet ring gleamed on the tap handle. Rory watched the beer rise amber in the glass. Outside, the neon sign burned green through the rain, making strangers look briefly enchanted as they passed beneath it. Eva accepted the half pint and lifted it, not quite a toast. “To efficient cowardice?” Rory shook her head. “To garden centres.” “To hay fever in cellars.” “To not being polite anymore.” Eva’s smile trembled and steadied. “To being alive, then.” There it was, plain and unadorned. Not fine. Not fixed. Alive. Rory touched her glass of water to Eva’s beer. The sound was small, almost lost beneath the noise of the bar, but she felt it travel through her hand and settle somewhere deep, where regret had been keeping its old, cold room. “To being alive,” she said.
created_at"2026-04-24T21:41:23.675Z" 4/24/2026, 9:41:23 PM
model"openai/gpt-5.5-20260423"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency9536
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time111568
tokens_prompt867
tokens_completion5664
native_tokens_prompt808
native_tokens_completion4960
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning402
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.15284
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"58e5b336-423e-430b-a2ab-8bc353f0c51b"
id"resp_05bdd6ace58938e10169ebe383c4448195bcdc7cc500d63816"
is_byokfalse
latency266
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.5-20260423"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.1; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1777066883-2HVHx12q28EQP7p3pYip"
session_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1777066883-dycJihOltAnWfoZCQCkA"
upstream_id"resp_05bdd6ace58938e10169ebe383c4448195bcdc7cc500d63816"
total_cost0.15284
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"
response_cache_source_id(null)

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags33
adverbTagCount0
adverbTags(empty)
dialogueSentences178
tagDensity0.185
leniency0.371
rawRatio0
effectiveRatio0
84.43% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount3533
totalAiIsmAdverbs11
found
0
adverb"deliberately"
count1
1
adverb"precisely"
count1
2
adverb"very"
count5
3
adverb"carefully"
count1
4
adverb"softly"
count1
5
adverb"truly"
count1
6
adverb"slowly"
count1
highlights
0"deliberately"
1"precisely"
2"very"
3"carefully"
4"softly"
5"truly"
6"slowly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
88.68% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount3533
totalAiIsms8
found
0
word"flicker"
count1
1
word"silence"
count1
2
word"could feel"
count1
3
word"eyebrow"
count1
4
word"efficient"
count2
5
word"traced"
count1
6
word"trembled"
count1
highlights
0"flicker"
1"silence"
2"could feel"
3"eyebrow"
4"efficient"
5"traced"
6"trembled"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells2
narrationSentences245
matches
0"was ashamed"
1"was grateful"
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount1
hedgeCount4
narrationSentences245
filterMatches
0"look"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"tried to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences390
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen80
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords3532
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions52
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
0.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions168
wordCount2459
uniqueNames19
maxNameDensity2.72
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Raven2
Nest3
Rory67
Old2
Compton1
Street1
Prague1
Silas10
London4
Morgan1
Cardiff4
Eva61
Wales1
Evan3
Paddington1
Go1
Central1
Carter1
You3
persons
0"Raven"
1"Rory"
2"Silas"
3"Morgan"
4"Eva"
5"Evan"
6"Central"
7"Carter"
8"You"
places
0"Nest"
1"Old"
2"Compton"
3"Street"
4"Prague"
5"London"
6"Cardiff"
7"Wales"
8"Paddington"
globalScore0.138
windowScore0
84.21% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences152
glossingSentenceCount4
matches
0"as if revising a map"
1"as if naming a station on a line she no longer travelled"
2"as if deciding to stay"
3"not quite a toast"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches0
per1kWords0
wordCount3532
matches(empty)
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences390
matches
0"become that girl"
1"certain that escape"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs213
mean16.58
std20.14
cv1.214
sampleLengths
062
1105
253
37
45
54
678
731
810
912
106
114
127
1315
148
152
1632
1752
1812
19118
2024
215
2225
231
2422
2548
263
2743
2853
295
303
3114
321
3345
3413
355
367
3769
387
395
4028
4110
425
4311
4418
453
468
472
4825
4910
99.53% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount4
totalSentences245
matches
0"was cropped"
1"was ashamed"
2"was exhausted"
3"was frightened"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount3
totalVerbs441
matches
0"was wiping"
1"was explaining"
2"was pretending"
100.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount1
semicolonCount4
flaggedSentences3
totalSentences390
ratio0.008
matches
0"In one hand she held a black umbrella; in the other, a leather satchel scuffed white at the corners."
1"Rory saw them all at once and not at all: Eva’s last text unanswered because Rory had been in Evan’s flat with a split lip and a dead phone; the voicemail she had deleted without listening because kindness had become another thing that could corner her; the train to Paddington with one bag and no plan except the one Eva had shouted down the line—Go to London, Rory, go now, I mean it, I’ll sort something, just get out."
2"Perhaps neither; time was not a moral accountant, however desperately people wanted it to be."
87.16% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1924
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"slight left-legged drag,"
adverbCount92
adverbRatio0.04781704781704782
lyAdverbCount21
lyAdverbRatio0.010914760914760915
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences390
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences390
mean9.06
std8.4
cv0.928
sampleLengths
030
132
225
36
424
523
627
742
811
97
105
114
125
1331
1414
1516
1612
178
187
195
205
216
227
233
245
257
266
274
287
2911
304
318
322
3317
347
358
3630
3722
3812
398
4017
416
422
4310
447
4538
4611
4719
4824
495
42.82% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats28
diversityRatio0.25384615384615383
totalSentences390
uniqueOpeners99
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount11
totalSentences202
matches
0"More often, she noticed the"
1"Then her eyes found Rory."
2"Then he reached for a"
3"More like a truce negotiated"
4"Too much like she had"
5"Then Rory had repaid her"
6"Instead she smiled, and it"
7"Then the moment passed, as"
8"Perhaps because of Rory."
9"Perhaps neither; time was not"
10"Instead she said,"
ratio0.054
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount48
totalSentences202
matches
0"It was just past nine,"
1"She was wiping down a"
2"He wore fatigue the way"
3"Her shoulder-length black hair had"
4"She still noticed it sometimes,"
5"She poured the gin, added"
6"Her hands had become steady"
7"She gave him a look."
8"She smiled despite herself and"
9"He studied her a moment"
10"It was one of his"
11"Her hair, once a riot"
12"She smiled, but it arrived"
13"Her second was to leave"
14"She did neither."
15"She had not walked like"
16"Her heart had begun to"
17"She pulled the pint cleanly,"
18"Her nails were short, unpainted."
19"He offered Eva a small"
ratio0.238
54.06% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount164
totalSentences202
matches
0"The rain had turned the"
1"It was just past nine,"
2"Soho changed its face without"
3"Silas said half of them"
4"She was wiping down a"
5"He wore fatigue the way"
6"Rory reached for the bottle."
7"Her shoulder-length black hair had"
8"The small crescent scar on"
9"She still noticed it sometimes,"
10"She poured the gin, added"
11"Her hands had become steady"
12"Cardiff had left them restless."
13"Evan had made them careful."
14"The city had taught them"
15"Silas leaned beside her, lowering"
16"She gave him a look."
17"She smiled despite herself and"
18"He studied her a moment"
19"Silas was good at letting"
ratio0.812
74.26% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount3
totalSentences202
matches
0"By the time Rory returned"
1"Even now, years later, the"
2"If Eva cried, Rory might,"
ratio0.015
91.84% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences84
technicalSentenceCount6
matches
0"The rain had turned the green neon sign above The Raven’s Nest into a smear of light on the pavement, a wet, trembling thing that seemed less written than remem…"
1"It was just past nine, the hour when the after-work drinkers surrendered their stools to the people who had put on lipstick for the night."
2"Then he reached for a towel and began polishing glasses that did not need polishing."
3"The Eva Rory remembered had moved as if chased by music, all elbows and enthusiasm, always half a step too fast."
4"Rory saw them all at once and not at all: Eva’s last text unanswered because Rory had been in Evan’s flat with a split lip and a dead phone; the voicemail she h…"
5"The Rory who had learned to carry hot food through London rain, to sleep above a bar with old maps and secrets in the walls, to answer to Carter without forgett…"
94.70% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags33
uselessAdditionCount2
matches
0"Eva absorbed, as if revising a map"
1"Eva said, as if naming a station on a line she no longer travelled"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags28
fancyCount2
fancyTags
0"Rory warned (warn)"
1"Rory pressed (press)"
dialogueSentences178
tagDensity0.157
leniency0.315
rawRatio0.071
effectiveRatio0.022
90.0562%