Run: 2026-04-25-01KQ2FCAJ9D2X9M8AXRVDX8ZZ0

“Bill, you’re telling me we’re robbing a seven-year-old’s birthday party?” Molly adjusted her earpiece, testing the static. “Not robbing, Molly—strategically redistributing wrapped assets.” Bill unfolded a crudely drawn map of the community center. “The parents do drop-off at 2:15. We slip in via the kitchen, swap the gift bag with this identical decoy bag, and exit before the clown arrives.” “The clown. You mentioned a clown, Bill. Is the clown armed?” “Worse. He does balloon animals. Threat is minimal. I’ll be wearing my UPS uniform. You’re the catering helper.” “I look nothing like a catering helper. I look like someone who just stole a catering helper’s jacket.” “So act like you stole it. Improvise. The real target is the disco-themed bounce house. It’s a distraction.” “A distraction from what? The presents or the fact that we’re stealing from toddlers?” “Both. Timing is key. When the kids are doing the chicken dance, we empty the present table.” “And if one of those kids looks at me with those big, trusting eyes?” “You freeze and whisper ‘This is for the greater good’ and grab the Lego sets.” “Greater good. We’re stealing a My Little Pony playset.” “That playset scalps for eighty bucks online, Molly. Think of the principle.” “I’m thinking of the therapy bills.” She sighed. “Fine. But if I get face-painted, you owe me dinner.” “Deal. Now put on this wig. You’re ‘Carla from Snack Solutions.’” “I hate Carla from Snack Solutions. She has no pension.” “She has access to the gluten-free cupcakes. Go.”