Run: 2026-04-25-01KQ2GXCEK5XPH24MPFCPXEGHR

Run Details

Duration:
1m 30s
Cost:
$0.003031
Provider:
DeepSeek

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The rain came down in sheets across Soho, the kind of February downpour that turned alleys into mirrors and made the neon signs bleed their colors across wet pavement. Inside The Raven’s Nest, the world felt smaller, quieter — a pocket of amber warmth tucked beneath the city’s grey skin. Aurora worked a rag across the bar in slow, methodical circles, the way Silas had taught her. Not because the wood needed it, but because an idle bartender made customers nervous. Old habit, he’d said. Makes people think you’re listening even when you’re not. She was, though. Listening. To the couple arguing sotto voce in the corner booth, to the distant clatter of the kitchen where Mrs. Chen was prepping tomorrow’s pies, to the jazz bleeding low and mournful from the speakers Silas refused to replace. She’d gotten good at it — the art of being present and invisible at the same time. Six months in London had taught her that much. The door opened with its familiar scrape of wood on stone, letting in a gust of rain-sweet air and the sound of a cab splashing through a puddle on Dean Street. Aurora didn’t look up. The regulars were already accounted for, and tourists rarely found their way down this particular alley. Probably one of Silas’s contacts, the way they all drifted in at odd hours with their collars turned up and their eyes doing quick sweeps of the room. “Rory?” The rag stilled in her hand. She knew the voice before she lifted her head — a voice that belonged to a different city, a different life, one she’d folded up and left behind in Cardiff like a dress that no longer fit. When she finally looked, Thomas Mercer was standing just inside the doorway, rainwater beading on the shoulders of a coat that cost more than her monthly rent. He looked wrong. That was the first thing that struck her. Not wrong in the sense of looking bad — quite the opposite. He’d lost the softness around his jaw, traded his university sweatshirts for a tailored charcoal suit, his perpetually mussed hair for something shorter, more deliberate. He looked like a photograph from a magazine, airbrushed and curated. He looked like someone who’d figured out the cheat code to adulthood while she was still fumbling with the controls. “Tom.” His name came out steadier than she felt. “Christ. What are you doing here?” He laughed — a short, breathless sound that seemed to surprise him as much as it did her. “I could ask you the same thing. I thought you were in — what, Brighton? That’s what Eva said.” “Eva says a lot of things.” Aurora set the rag aside, her fingers finding the edge of the bar and pressing there, grounding herself in the solid grain of the oak. “I’m in London now. Been here about six months.” “London.” Thomas said it like a word he was trying to translate. He still hadn’t moved from the doorway, rain dripping from his sleeves onto the worn floorboards. “And you’re working... here?” “Above it, technically. I rent the flat upstairs. I just help out sometimes. Silas — the owner — he’s a friend.” “A friend.” Thomas’s eyes did something complicated, a flicker she couldn’t quite read. “Right.” The silence that fell between them was the awkward kind, the kind reserved for people who used to know each other’s coffee orders and now couldn’t guess what the other had eaten for breakfast. Three years. It shouldn’t have felt like a lifetime, but standing there with the bar between them, it might as well have been a century. “You look good,” Aurora said, because it was true and because it was easier than asking any of the questions crowding her throat. *What happened to med school? When did you start wearing watches that probably cost more than my entire wardrobe? Do you still play piano, or did you trade that in too?* Thomas’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Clean living. Mostly.” He finally moved, crossing to the bar and settling onto one of the worn leather stools. Up close, she could see the lines that hadn’t been there before — faint ones, at the corners of his eyes, a furrow between his brows that suggested years of frowning. On anyone else, she might not have noticed. But this was Thomas. She’d known his face when it was still soft with sleep at three in the morning, both of them crammed into a library carrel, cramming for exams they’d both secretly hoped to fail. “What are you drinking?” “Whisky. Neat. Whatever’s good.” She poured him two fingers of the Macallan Silas kept for special occasions and set it in front of him. He didn’t drink it immediately, just wrapped his fingers around the glass and stared at the amber liquid like it might hold answers to questions he hadn’t asked yet. “I almost didn’t recognize you,” he said finally. “Your hair. It’s darker.” “It’s the same.” She touched her shoulder instinctively. “I just stopped bleaching it.” “You used to have those blonde streaks. Made you look like you’d spent the summer at the beach.” His voice had gone soft, almost nostalgic, and Aurora felt something twist in her chest. “Evan always hated them.” The name landed like a stone in still water. Aurora watched the ripples spread across Thomas’s face — the way his jaw tightened, the way his fingers went white around the glass. It had been four years since she’d left Evan, three since she’d last spoken to Thomas, and still the name carried weight. Still it changed the shape of any room it entered. “Evan doesn’t get an opinion on my hair anymore,” she said, keeping her voice light. “Or anything else.” “Good.” Thomas took a long swallow of the whisky, grimacing slightly at the burn. “Good, I’m — I’m glad. I should have said something, back then. I should have...” “You did.” She leaned against the back counter, crossing her arms. “You told me he was a prick. Multiple times, if I recall.” “Telling you he was a prick and actually doing something about it are two different things.” He set the glass down harder than necessary. “I knew, Rory. I knew what he was doing to you, and I just... I let it happen. I let you go back to him, over and over, and I never—” “Tom.” She cut him off, her voice sharper than she intended. “I was a grown woman. I made my own choices. Bad ones, but they were mine. You weren’t responsible for saving me.” “I was your best friend.” “Yeah.” The word came out thin, almost strangled. “Yeah, you were.” The jazz track ended. For a moment, the bar was silent except for the rain against the windows and the soft hum of the refrigerator. Thomas stared at his whisky. Aurora stared at Thomas. The weight of everything unsaid hung between them, heavier than the smoke-stained air. “I’m getting married,” Thomas said abruptly. “Next month. Her name’s Constance. She’s... she’s lovely. Works in finance. My mum adores her.” Aurora felt the words land somewhere in her chest, a dull impact that spread outward like a bruise. She’d imagined this moment before — not this exact moment, not this exact bar, but the shape of it. The announcement. The careful, studied way he’d say it, as if he was bracing for her reaction. And underneath that, the question neither of them had ever been brave enough to ask. “Congratulations,” she said, and she meant it. She did. The fact that it hurt was irrelevant. Some things were allowed to hurt. “I’m happy for you.” “Are you?” “Tom—” “Because I’m not.” He laughed again, but this time the sound was jagged, splintering at the edges. “I’m standing here in a bar in Soho, three years late to a conversation I should have had when it mattered, and I’m not happy. I’ve got a good job, a beautiful fiancée, a flat in Kensington, and I’m not—” He broke off, dragging a hand across his face. “I’m not happy. Is that insane? That’s insane, isn’t it.” Aurora didn’t answer. She couldn’t. The weight of his confession was pressing against her ribs, making it hard to breathe. “Do you remember,” Thomas said, his voice dropping lower, “that night on the roof of your building? Third year. We’d both failed Dr. Morrison’s exam, and you stole that bottle of wine from your flatmate, and we sat up there until dawn, talking about everything we were going to do. Everything we were going to be.” “I remember.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “You were going to be a doctor. I was going to be a writer. We were going to change the world.” “And now I push money around for people who already have too much of it, and you’re...” He gestured vaguely at the bar, at the walls covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs, at the green neon glow filtering through the front window. “What happened to us, Rory?” She didn’t have an answer for that. The girl who’d sat on that roof with a stolen bottle of wine and stars in her eyes felt like a stranger now. She’d been sanded down by the years — by Evan’s fists and Evan’s words, by the flight to London and the long, slow process of rebuilding herself from scratch. She was sharper now, harder in places that used to be soft. She’d had to be. “We grew up,” she said finally. “That’s what happened. We grew up, and it turned out the world didn’t care about our plans.” Thomas drained the rest of his whisky. For a long moment, he just sat there, the empty glass cradled in his hands, his eyes fixed on some point in the middle distance that only he could see. “I should have called,” he said. “After you left. When Eva told me what happened with Evan. I should have called.” “Why didn’t you?” The question hung between them, sharp-edged and dangerous. Thomas’s throat worked silently for a moment. When he finally spoke, his voice was rough. “Because I was afraid. If I called, I’d have to admit that I’d been a coward. That I’d spent years pretending I didn’t see what was happening to you because confronting Evan would have meant confronting my own feelings, and I wasn’t ready for that.” He set the glass down with a quiet click. “I loved you, Rory. I think you knew that. I think we both knew that. And I was too much of a coward to do anything about it.” The words settled over her like ash. She’d known, of course. On some level, she’d always known. But hearing it spoken aloud, after all this time, felt like opening a wound that had never quite healed properly. “You were my best friend,” she said quietly. “That mattered more.” “It still does.” Thomas slid off the stool, reaching into his coat and withdrawing a business card. He placed it on the bar between them — thick cream stock, embossed lettering, the kind of card that announced a person who had arrived somewhere. “If you ever need anything. A reference, a job, just someone to... I don’t know. Someone to remember who you used to be. I’d like to be that person. If you’ll let me.” Aurora picked up the card. Thomas Mercer, it read. Vice President, Aldridge Capital. She ran her thumb over the raised letters, feeling the texture of his new life pressed into paper. “I’ll think about it,” she said. He nodded, something flickering in his eyes — disappointment, maybe, or relief. It was hard to tell. They’d lost the ability to read each other somewhere along the way, and that more than anything else felt like the real tragedy. Thomas left the way he’d come, into the rain and the neon glow. The door scraped shut behind him, and Aurora stood alone in the quiet bar, holding a business card she’d probably never use, listening to the ghost of a conversation that was three years too late. From the back room, the bookshelf swung open with a soft groan. Silas emerged, his limp more pronounced than usual in the damp weather, his hazel eyes sharp with something that might have been sympathy. “Old friend?” he asked. Aurora tucked the card into her pocket. “Something like that.” Silas didn’t press. He never did. He just limped to the bar, poured himself a whisky from the same bottle, and settled onto the stool Thomas had vacated. The signet ring on his right hand caught the light as he raised his glass — a brief flash of silver, a reminder of secrets kept and histories unspoken. “The rain’s supposed to let up by morning,” he said. “Good,” Aurora replied, picking up her rag again. “I’ve got deliveries to make.” She went back to wiping the bar in slow, methodical circles. Outside, the rain kept falling, and somewhere in the city, a man in a charcoal suit was walking away from a conversation he’d been waiting three years to have, carrying the weight of everything he’d said and everything he hadn’t. The jazz started up again, low and mournful, and Aurora let herself feel it all — the regret, the loss, the strange, stubborn hope that came from knowing some doors never quite closed all the way. Then she folded it up, neat and small, and tucked it away with the business card in her pocket. The bar needed cleaning. The world kept turning. And Aurora Carter, who used to be someone else entirely, kept moving forward, one slow circle at a time.
created_at"2026-04-25T14:33:01.245Z" 4/25/2026, 2:33:01 PM
model"deepseek/deepseek-v4-pro-20260423"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1000
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time76085
tokens_prompt867
tokens_completion3968
native_tokens_prompt816
native_tokens_completion3428
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning402
native_tokens_cached768
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
usage0.00303108
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provider_responses
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is_byokfalse
latency355
model_permaslug"deepseek/deepseek-v4-pro-20260423"
provider_name"DeepSeek"
status200
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request_id"req-1777127581-dduZVI1dsyS1Kpv9vE2B"
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Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
15.38% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags29
adverbTagCount6
adverbTags
0"he said finally [finally]"
1"Thomas said abruptly [abruptly]"
2"He laughed again [again]"
3"He gestured vaguely [vaguely]"
4"she said finally [finally]"
5"she said quietly [quietly]"
dialogueSentences65
tagDensity0.446
leniency0.892
rawRatio0.207
effectiveRatio0.185
97.80% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2275
totalAiIsmAdverbs1
found
0
adverb"slightly"
count1
highlights
0"slightly"
80.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found
0"Chen"
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
69.23% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2275
totalAiIsms14
found
0
word"warmth"
count1
1
word"methodical"
count2
2
word"familiar"
count1
3
word"sense of"
count1
4
word"flicker"
count1
5
word"silence"
count1
6
word"weight"
count4
7
word"whisper"
count1
8
word"reminder"
count1
9
word"unspoken"
count1
highlights
0"warmth"
1"methodical"
2"familiar"
3"sense of"
4"flicker"
5"silence"
6"weight"
7"whisper"
8"reminder"
9"unspoken"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences129
matches(empty)
98.56% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount2
hedgeCount2
narrationSentences129
filterMatches
0"think"
1"feel"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"happened to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences163
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen56
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans1
markdownWords31
totalWords2292
ratio0.014
matches
0"What happened to med school? When did you start wearing watches that probably cost more than my entire wardrobe? Do you still play piano, or did you trade that in too?"
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions29
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
66.67% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions59
wordCount1691
uniqueNames19
maxNameDensity1.06
worstName"Thomas"
maxWindowNameDensity3
worstWindowName"Thomas"
discoveredNames
Soho1
February1
Raven1
Nest1
Silas6
Mrs1
London2
Dean1
Street1
Cardiff1
Thomas18
Mercer2
Macallan1
Aurora15
Evan3
President1
Aldridge1
Capital1
Carter1
persons
0"Silas"
1"Mrs"
2"Thomas"
3"Mercer"
4"Macallan"
5"Aurora"
6"Evan"
7"Carter"
places
0"Soho"
1"Raven"
2"London"
3"Dean"
4"Street"
5"Cardiff"
globalScore0.968
windowScore0.667
0.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences95
glossingSentenceCount9
matches
0"looked like a photograph from a magazine"
1"looked like someone who’d figured out the"
2"sound that seemed to surprise him as much as it did her"
3"quite read"
4"felt like a lifetime, but standing ther"
5"quite reach his eyes"
6"felt like a stranger now"
7"felt like opening a wound that had neve"
8"felt like the real tragedy"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches2
per1kWords0.873
wordCount2292
matches
0"not this exact moment, not this exact bar, but the shape of it"
1"not this exact bar, but the shape of it"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount0
totalSentences163
matches(empty)
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs65
mean35.26
std24.75
cv0.702
sampleLengths
050
144
268
379
41
56
664
779
815
937
1040
1132
1221
1314
1459
1554
16102
174
184
1949
2012
2113
2237
2364
2418
2529
2623
2755
2833
295
3011
3147
3221
3369
3426
352
361
3776
3820
3956
4029
4148
4275
4323
4437
4521
463
4723
4882
4937
97.10% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount3
totalSentences129
matches
0"were allowed"
1"was jagged"
2"been sanded"
60.63% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount6
totalVerbs287
matches
0"was prepping"
1"was standing"
2"was still fumbling"
3"was trying"
4"was bracing"
5"was walking"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount13
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences13
totalSentences163
ratio0.08
matches
0"Inside The Raven’s Nest, the world felt smaller, quieter — a pocket of amber warmth tucked beneath the city’s grey skin."
1"She’d gotten good at it — the art of being present and invisible at the same time."
2"She knew the voice before she lifted her head — a voice that belonged to a different city, a different life, one she’d folded up and left behind in Cardiff like a dress that no longer fit."
3"Not wrong in the sense of looking bad — quite the opposite."
4"He laughed — a short, breathless sound that seemed to surprise him as much as it did her."
5"Up close, she could see the lines that hadn’t been there before — faint ones, at the corners of his eyes, a furrow between his brows that suggested years of frowning."
6"Aurora watched the ripples spread across Thomas’s face — the way his jaw tightened, the way his fingers went white around the glass."
7"She’d imagined this moment before — not this exact moment, not this exact bar, but the shape of it."
8"She’d been sanded down by the years — by Evan’s fists and Evan’s words, by the flight to London and the long, slow process of rebuilding herself from scratch."
9"He placed it on the bar between them — thick cream stock, embossed lettering, the kind of card that announced a person who had arrived somewhere."
10"He nodded, something flickering in his eyes — disappointment, maybe, or relief."
11"The signet ring on his right hand caught the light as he raised his glass — a brief flash of silver, a reminder of secrets kept and histories unspoken."
12"The jazz started up again, low and mournful, and Aurora let herself feel it all — the regret, the loss, the strange, stubborn hope that came from knowing some doors never quite closed all the way."
96.53% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1683
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount74
adverbRatio0.043969102792632206
lyAdverbCount23
lyAdverbRatio0.013666072489601902
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences163
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences163
mean14.06
std11.11
cv0.79
sampleLengths
029
121
217
314
44
59
63
71
819
919
1017
119
1231
134
1416
1528
161
176
1837
1927
203
218
2212
2325
2411
2520
269
276
2818
2919
3031
319
3212
3316
344
3521
3613
371
3834
392
4023
4123
425
4314
4412
457
4619
4731
488
494
53.37% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats13
diversityRatio0.36809815950920244
totalSentences163
uniqueOpeners60
55.56% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount2
totalSentences120
matches
0"Probably one of Silas’s contacts,"
1"Then she folded it up,"
ratio0.017
70.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount45
totalSentences120
matches
0"She was, though."
1"She’d gotten good at it"
2"She knew the voice before"
3"He looked wrong."
4"He’d lost the softness around"
5"He looked like a photograph"
6"He looked like someone who’d"
7"His name came out steadier"
8"He laughed — a short,"
9"He still hadn’t moved from"
10"It shouldn’t have felt like"
11"He finally moved, crossing to"
12"She’d known his face when"
13"She poured him two fingers"
14"He didn’t drink it immediately,"
15"he said finally"
16"She touched her shoulder instinctively"
17"His voice had gone soft,"
18"It had been four years"
19"she said, keeping her voice"
ratio0.375
68.33% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount94
totalSentences120
matches
0"The rain came down in"
1"Aurora worked a rag across"
2"She was, though."
3"Chen was prepping tomorrow’s pies,"
4"She’d gotten good at it"
5"The door opened with its"
6"Aurora didn’t look up."
7"The regulars were already accounted"
8"The rag stilled in her"
9"She knew the voice before"
10"He looked wrong."
11"That was the first thing"
12"He’d lost the softness around"
13"He looked like a photograph"
14"He looked like someone who’d"
15"His name came out steadier"
16"He laughed — a short,"
17"Aurora set the rag aside,"
18"Thomas said it like a"
19"He still hadn’t moved from"
ratio0.783
41.67% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount1
totalSentences120
matches
0"To the couple arguing sotto"
ratio0.008
40.82% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences56
technicalSentenceCount8
matches
0"She knew the voice before she lifted her head — a voice that belonged to a different city, a different life, one she’d folded up and left behind in Cardiff like…"
1"When she finally looked, Thomas Mercer was standing just inside the doorway, rainwater beading on the shoulders of a coat that cost more than her monthly rent."
2"The silence that fell between them was the awkward kind, the kind reserved for people who used to know each other’s coffee orders and now couldn’t guess what th…"
3"Up close, she could see the lines that hadn’t been there before — faint ones, at the corners of his eyes, a furrow between his brows that suggested years of fro…"
4"He placed it on the bar between them — thick cream stock, embossed lettering, the kind of card that announced a person who had arrived somewhere."
5"The door scraped shut behind him, and Aurora stood alone in the quiet bar, holding a business card she’d probably never use, listening to the ghost of a convers…"
6"Silas emerged, his limp more pronounced than usual in the damp weather, his hazel eyes sharp with something that might have been sympathy."
7"The jazz started up again, low and mournful, and Aurora let herself feel it all — the regret, the loss, the strange, stubborn hope that came from knowing some d…"
90.52% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags29
uselessAdditionCount2
matches
0"She cut, her voice sharper than she intended"
1"Thomas said, his voice dropping lower,"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags15
fancyCount1
fancyTags
0"He laughed again (laugh)"
dialogueSentences65
tagDensity0.231
leniency0.462
rawRatio0.067
effectiveRatio0.031
76.7388%