Run: 2026-04-27-01KQ79YQP7N4H0K6MKSXM39WJZ

Molly, read me the layout again. Don't mess this up. Last time you said the motion sensor was broken and it played Baby Shark at maximum volume, and we ended up in the doghouse. Actually, the dog ate the plans. That was an educational distraction! And the layout is simple. The presents are under the tree, guarded by Mrs. Higgins, a woman who once fought off a raccoon with a spatula while reciting the tax code. We go during the cake phase. That's when they're distracted by the sugar. Too risky. The cake phase means sugar rush. Kids move fast. I need a window where the humans are static. What about the nap time protocol? The blueprints said nap time was a three-minute window. Nap time is in forty minutes. We need to hit the tree in twelve. Also, did you bring the decoy? Because if the distraction fails, we're going down looking like two raccoons in spandex. I brought three decoys. The inflatable unicorn, the disco ball, and me. I've practiced the routine. I wiggle, they laugh, I drop the smoke bomb. It's foolproof. The unicorn has a built-in airhorn. The smoke bomb smells like wet dog. Remember the Miller party? The golden retriever ate the evidence and then ate Mrs. Miller. She still hasn't forgiven us. And the airhorn? Frequency modulated. Only affects children under five and people holding clipboards. I don't mind cat food. But I do mind prison time. What's the extraction plan? If we grab the loot and run, Mrs. Higgins will unleash the hamster. I saw the petting zoo sign near the back door. The hamster is on a leash. It's a hamster. It has the top speed of a sedated snail wearing bowling shoes. We'll zip up the fire escape, bag the loot, and vanish into the fog. Wait, is that fog or just the smoke alarm triggering? That's the fog machine. We're early. Molly, do you have the remote? Batteries included. Let's do this. On three. One... two... Wait! Did you check the gift receipts? If there are too many returns, the insurance might flag us. Mrs. Higgins is covered by the family trust. Molly pulled a game controller from her belt. Relax, I checked. The returns are all under ten percent. The robot dog is final sale. The dragon drone is locked in. No returns. No exchanges. Just pure, unadulterated theft. You're a visionary, Bill. A criminal mastermind with a questionable fashion sense and a grappling hook made of extension cords. Bill grabbed her arm. Check the drone! If it's a return, we're doomed. I said it's locked in! Now focus. The cake is coming out. Timer? Three minutes. Move. On three. One... two... I hate it when you say wait. What is it now? Did we leave the van running? If Mrs. Higgins finds the van, she'll trace the plate. I remote started the cooling cycle. The van is frozen over. Nobody can trace a frozen van. Genius. Molly, you're terrifying. Is the glitter ready? Silencer mode. Zero glitter. Are you sure? The last time you said silencer mode, we got banned from a birthday in Ohio. I switched the formula. It's biodegradable and dissolves upon contact with tears. Good. I'm not dealing with the tears again. Mr. Henderson cried for three days. It was a legal liability. It's a reaction to the joy of the present, Bill. They couldn't handle the gift-giving spirit. I'm telling you, the laser cutter is charged. Hairdryer is set to stealth. It melts plastic but makes a clicking sound like a metronome. Will the clicking drive them insane? Only if they can hear it. The window is double-paned. We need a glass cutter. I brought a diamond drill bit shaped like a crayon. Kids won't suspect a crayon. Clever. But will it fit in the duffel bag? We need to maximize volume. Every inch counts. The Switch takes up twenty percent. The robot dog is the bulk. We might have to disassemble the limbs. Disassembling the loot? That's amateur hour. We need the space, Bill. I have a multi-tool. It's a spoon. It's a multi-tool spoon. This operation is held together by spoons, tape, and optimism. Exactly. A symphony of improvisation. If this goes wrong, I'm blaming you. You're the one holding the remote. I dropped the remote! Catch it! I caught it. Don't jinx it. Okay, focus. The hamster is off the leash. I said it was on a leash! Mrs. Higgins is walking it. We need a new plan. The plan is the plan. The plan is failing! Deploy the decoy! Now? NOW! The unicorn is deflating! Bill, you said it was foolproof! I brought two unicorns! The second one is on its back! Pull the cord! I'm pulling! The disco ball is spinning! It's working! The kids are laughing! Grab the bag! I'm moving! One... two... three! Wait, the receipt! Forget the receipt! We have to check the receipt! Molly, grab the loot! On three. One... two... I found the refund policy! Shut up and run!