Run: 2026-05-10-01KR8VJBG6HYD2WJJF81EHBECF

Molly adjusted her neon green tutu, the scratchy tulle rasping against her thighs. She checked the heavy-duty duffel bag hidden under a pile of oversized clown shoes. Bill leaned against the peeling wallpaper of the supply closet, popping a bright blue gumball into his mouth. He looked ridiculous in his polyester magician’s vest, complete with fake rabbits dangling from the pockets. The sound of children screeching in the main hall filtered through the thin wall, a chaotic symphony of demands for cake and chaos. They had thirty minutes until the grand reveal of the gift pile, a mountain of gold wrapped in shiny, primary-colored foil. You think the giant puppet will notice us, Bill? Only if you try to stuff him in the bag, Molly. I just want to be prepared for contingencies. Focus on the cake, not the mascot. Bill, it is a six-foot-tall squirrel. It has eyes that see into your soul. It has a visible zipper, Molly. It is a college kid named Tyler. Tyler might be a trained ninja for all we know. He is an English major who just wants his sixty bucks. Fine, but if the squirrel attacks me, I am using the smoke bombs. Do not use the smoke bombs. It is a room full of toddlers. I will use glitter bombs instead. It will be festive. Just stay close to the punch bowl and wait for my signal. When is the signal? When the birthday boy starts screaming about the flavor of his icing. That sounds like a very reliable indicator of chaos. It is the most reliable event in the industry. Are the zip ties ready behind the gift mountain? Yes, they are tucked under the pile of squishmallows. Good. I really need that limited-edition rocket ship set. You cannot sell a rocket ship to a fence. It is too conspicuous. It is for my nephew, Bill. I am a thief, not a monster. We are literally stealing from a four-year-old’s celebration. It is for a good cause, and that cause is my family’s holiday budget. Stop twitching. You look like you are having a seizure in that wig. It is itchy. Why does this wig have so many curls? It makes you look like a deranged toddler. Keep it on. I feel like a very large, very angry balloon animal. Good. That is exactly the camouflage we need for this room. I hear the music stopping. Is that the clown? That is the signal. Remember, grab the big boxes first. Got it. See you on the other side of the icing disaster. Stay low, keep the tutu flat, and do not make eye contact. I hate this job, Bill. I know, Molly. See you in the glitter.