Run: 2026-05-20-01KS25S6DTVWXZFR0NWSD1BS26

Run Details

Duration:
16.2s
Cost:
$0.024735
Provider:
Google AI Studio

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The green neon sign of The Raven’s Nest buzzed with a low, wet hum, casting a sickly jade glow onto the rain-slicked pavement of the Soho alley. Inside, the bar was a sanctuary of amber light and old paper, the walls lined with fading maps of empires that no longer existed and black-and-white portraits of people long dead. It smelled of wet wool, stale porter, and the bitter tang of lemon peel. Aurora Carter sat at the corner of the polished mahogany bar, her fingers tracing the rim of an empty glass. Her shoulder-length black hair was still damp from the sudden London drizzle, clinging to her neck. She had spent the last three hours delivering boxes of steaming dim sum for the Golden Empress, her thighs aching from pedaling through the clogged veins of the city. Now, she just wanted the quiet. Underneath her feet, the floorboards vibrated with the muffled rumble of the tube, a reminder of the restless city moving beneath her. Behind the bar, Silas Blackwood moved with his characteristic, deliberate slow-motion. He carried his weight with a quiet, military authority, though the slight limp in his left leg—a souvenir from Prague he never spoke about—softened his hard edges. He wiped down a pint glass with a clean cloth, the silver signet ring on his right hand catching the low light of the gantry. "Another, Rory?" Silas asked, his voice a gravelly baritone that barely carried over the soft jazz drifting from the corner speakers. "Just tap water, Silas, thanks," Rory said, offering a tired smile. He nodded, but before he could reach for the tap, the brass bell above the heavy oak door chimed. Rory didn't turn around immediately. In Soho, people shifted through the doors of The Raven's Nest like ghosts, looking for a dark corner to nurse a grief or a secret. But a sudden draft of cold air swept in, carrying the scent of expensive cologne—sandalwood and expensive leather—and a voice that made the skin on the back of Rory’s neck prickle. "Just a Scotch, neat. Whatever you have on the top shelf." The voice was deeper than she remembered, stripped of its adolescent cracks, but the cadence—the sharp, overly precise vowels of someone who had spent their childhood trying to sound like they belonged to a grand house in Glamorgan—was unmistakable. Rory froze. She slowly turned her head. He was shedding a heavy black trench coat, drape-cut and smelling of wealth, revealing a charcoal wool suit that had clearly been tailored on Savile Row. His hair, once a wild, floppy mop that he used to shake out of his eyes during university lectures, was cropped close and styled with pomade. There was a thin line of silver in his sideburns. But it was the mouth—the slightly downturned, petulant set of the lips—that gave him away. "Evan," she said. The name felt like dry sand in her mouth. The man jerked, his shoulders tensing before he fully turned. His hazel eyes swept over her, squinting slightly in the dim light of the bar. For a second, there was blankness, the polite mask of a London professional preparing to dismiss a stranger. Then, his eyes widened, locking onto her bright blue gaze, sliding down to her wet work jacket, and finally resting on her face. "Laila?" he breathed, using the middle name she had discarded the moment she boarded the train from Cardiff. He took a half-step forward, his hand rising instinctively before dropping back to his side. "My god. Aurora. It really is you." "It's Rory now," she said. Her voice was flat, a shield she had spent three years forging. She felt the small, crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist begin to throb, an phantom itch from an old autumn evening they had spent screaming at each other in a flat that smelled of damp and resentment. Evan looked around the empty bar, his eyes lingering on Silas, who had stopped wiping the glass. Silas didn't say anything, but his hazel eyes were fixed on Evan with the cool, analytical scrutiny of a man who spent his life measuring threats. "What are you doing here?" Evan asked. He took the stool next to hers, though he left a careful, two-foot gap of empty air between them. He smelled of rain and success. "I mean... in London. I thought you were still in Wales. Your father said—" "I don't keep in touch with my father, Evan. You know that." "Right. Of course." He rubbed his palms together, a nervous gesture that belonged to the boy she used to know, the only crack in his expensive veneer. "It's just... it's been four years. You vanished. One morning the flat was half-empty, and you were just gone." "I took what was mine," Rory said. She took her glass of water from Silas with a murmur of thanks. Silas lingered for a moment longer than necessary, his gaze lingering on Evan's expensive signet ring, before he moved to the far end of the bar to polish the brass taps. Evan looked down at his own hands. The nails were manicured. On his wrist, a Tudor watch gleamed under the low-hanging amber lamps. "I looked for you. For months. I went to Eva's place in Bristol, but she wouldn't tell me anything. She threatened to call the police if I showed up again." "Good for Eva." "Rory, please." He sounded exhausted, a genuine note of fatigue breaking through the polished exterior. "I'm not here to fight. I didn't even know you were in the city. I was just... I had a late meeting in Mayfair. My firm has an office near here. I wanted a quiet drink before the train back to Surrey." "Surrey," she repeated, tasting the word. It sounded like manicured lawns, mortgage payments, and silence. "You passed the bar, then. You're an associate?" "Partner, actually. Last year." There was a brief flash of the old, arrogant Evan—the boy who used to memorize Latin phrases just to drop them into casual conversations—but it faded quickly, replaced by a hollow, searching look. "I bought a house in Weybridge. Five bedrooms. A garden." "A garden," Rory said. She pictured her tiny, drafty flat directly above this very bar, where the radiator clanked like a dying engine and she had to share a bathroom with the landing. She thought of her deliveries, pedaling through the exhaust fumes of Regent Street with grease-stained paper bags. "Sounds perfect for you." "It's empty," he said softly. The words hung in the space between them, heavy and damp. The jazz music had switched to a slow, mournful trumpet solo that seemed to drag the shadows out from the corners of the room. "I married," Evan continued, his voice barely above a whisper. "Two years ago. Clara. She’s... she’s a lovely girl. Her father is one of the senior partners at the firm." "Congratulations." "We're divorcing," he said. He didn't look at her; he looked at his Scotch, which Silas had silently set down in front of him. Evan picked up the glass, swirled the amber liquid, and took a long, slow swallow. "It lasted eighteen months. She told me I was like a ghost living in the house. She said I was there, but I was always looking past her, waiting for someone else to walk through the door." Rory felt a cold knot tighten in her stomach. She looked at his face, really looked at it. The soft, boyish roundness of his jaw was gone, replaced by sharp, hard angles. There were dark circles under his eyes, and a deep line etched between his brows that hadn't been there when he was twenty-one. He looked like a man who had won everything he had ever argued for in his university debates, only to find the prize was made of ash. "Don't do that, Evan," she said, her voice dropping an octave. "Don't lay your failed marriage at my feet. You don't get to make me the tragedy of your life to excuse why you're unhappy." "I'm not," he said quickly, though his fingers tightened around the glass until his knuckles went white. "I'm not blaming you. I'm just... I'm sorry. I never got to say it. The way things ended. The screaming. The way I..." He swallowed, his throat bobbing. "I was young. And I was terrified of losing you, so I tried to crush you until you couldn't leave. It was monstrous. I know that now." Rory looked down at her left wrist. The crescent scar was pale, almost invisible under the dim lights of the Nest, but she knew its texture by heart. She remembered the shatter of the teapot, the wet crunch of porcelain under her boot, the way he had blocked the doorway with his chest puffed out, daring her to push past him. "You were," she said simply. "You were monstrous." He closed his eyes. A single, ragged breath escaped him. "I've been in therapy for three years. Trying to undo... whatever it is inside me that wants to break things." He opened his eyes and looked at her, his hazel gaze desperate, searching her face for any remnant of the girl who used to read poetry to him on the banks of the River Taff. "Do you hate me?" Rory looked at him, and to her surprise, she felt nothing but a profound, hollow exhaustion. The anger that had fueled her flight to London, the fear that had kept her checking over her shoulder for the first year in the city—it had all evaporated, leaving only a vast, gray distance. "No," she said. "I don't hate you, Evan. I don't think about you at all." He flinched as if she had struck him. The silence returned, thicker this time, filled with the weight of the years they had spent apart and the vast, unbridgeable chasm of who they had become. He was a wealthy man in a bespoke suit with an empty five-bedroom house in Surrey; she was a girl with grease under her fingernails, living above a Soho bar, delivering food to strangers. They were two different species now, linked only by the wreckage of a shared youth. Evan reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a leather wallet. He extracted a crisp fifty-pound note, laying it on the bar next to his half-empty glass. "I should go," he said, his voice thick. "My train." "Yes," Rory said. "You should." He stood up, his joints making a small popping sound. He lingered for a fraction of a second, his hand hovering over the back of her stool, as if he wanted to touch the rough canvas of her delivery jacket. But he didn't. He pulled his trench coat over his shoulders, the fabric whispering in the quiet room. "Goodbye, Aurora," he said. "Goodbye, Evan." He turned and walked toward the door. His footsteps were heavy, echoing on the old oak floorboards. The brass bell chimed, the door swung open to let in a brief rush of cold, wet London air, and then clicked shut. The green neon light outside flickered, casting a momentary shadow across the empty stool beside her. Silas walked back down the bar, his limp slightly more pronounced in the quiet. He reached out and picked up the fifty-pound note, pocketing it, then slid a fresh, cold glass of water in front of Rory. He didn't ask questions. He didn't offer advice. He just stood there, a quiet, solid presence in the dim heart of Soho. "You okay, kid?" Silas asked quietly. Rory looked at the door, then down at her wrist, tracing the small crescent scar one last time before letting her hand drop. "Yeah," Rory said, taking a sip of the cold water. "Yeah, Silas. I think I am."
created_at"2026-05-20T07:49:39.903Z" 5/20/2026, 7:49:39 AM
model"google/gemini-3.5-flash-20260519"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency730
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time16136
tokens_prompt867
tokens_completion2862
native_tokens_prompt842
native_tokens_completion2608
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning0
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"STOP"
service_tier"standard"
usage0.024735
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"bd50061c-e1d8-469e-96b1-d322e77378f8"
id"lGcNaqr6AoHrjMcPxreJwQM"
is_byokfalse
latency730
model_permaslug"google/gemini-3.5-flash-20260519"
provider_name"Google AI Studio"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.15.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1779263379-3QAXS2SoxNCL9SuX65ic"
session_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1779263379-HeCjhF8XPT5XDHaX7zRZ"
upstream_id"lGcNaqr6AoHrjMcPxreJwQM"
total_cost0.024735
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Google AI Studio"
response_cache_source_id(null)

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
7.69% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags26
adverbTagCount5
adverbTags
0"it faded quickly [quickly]"
1"he said softly [softly]"
2"he said quickly [quickly]"
3"she said simply [simply]"
4"Silas asked quietly [quietly]"
dialogueSentences49
tagDensity0.531
leniency1
rawRatio0.192
effectiveRatio0.192
72.26% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount1983
totalAiIsmAdverbs11
found
0
adverb"slowly"
count1
1
adverb"slightly"
count3
2
adverb"really"
count2
3
adverb"quickly"
count2
4
adverb"very"
count1
5
adverb"softly"
count1
6
adverb"barely above a whisper"
count1
highlights
0"slowly"
1"slightly"
2"really"
3"quickly"
4"very"
5"softly"
6"barely above a whisper"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
52.09% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount1983
totalAiIsms19
found
0
word"sanctuary"
count1
1
word"tracing"
count2
2
word"vibrated"
count1
3
word"reminder"
count1
4
word"weight"
count2
5
word"throb"
count1
6
word"silence"
count2
7
word"perfect"
count1
8
word"whisper"
count1
9
word"stomach"
count1
10
word"etched"
count1
11
word"porcelain"
count1
12
word"profound"
count1
13
word"footsteps"
count1
14
word"echoing"
count1
15
word"flickered"
count1
highlights
0"sanctuary"
1"tracing"
2"vibrated"
3"reminder"
4"weight"
5"throb"
6"silence"
7"perfect"
8"whisper"
9"stomach"
10"etched"
11"porcelain"
12"profound"
13"footsteps"
14"echoing"
15"flickered"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches2
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"eyes widened/narrowed"
count1
1
label"knuckles turned white"
count1
highlights
0"eyes widened"
1"knuckles went white"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences104
matches(empty)
74.18% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount2
hedgeCount3
narrationSentences104
filterMatches
0"watch"
1"look"
hedgeMatches
0"begin to"
1"seemed to"
2"try to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences127
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen55
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords1972
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions24
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
66.67% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions61
wordCount1570
uniqueNames24
maxNameDensity0.83
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity3
worstWindowName"Evan"
discoveredNames
Raven2
Nest3
Soho4
Carter1
London4
Golden1
Empress1
Silas9
Blackwood1
Prague1
Rory13
Glamorgan1
Savile1
Row1
Cardiff1
Evan9
Tudor1
Latin1
Regent1
Street1
Scotch1
River1
Taff1
Surrey1
persons
0"Raven"
1"Nest"
2"Carter"
3"Silas"
4"Blackwood"
5"Rory"
6"Evan"
places
0"Soho"
1"London"
2"Prague"
3"Glamorgan"
4"Cardiff"
5"Regent"
6"Street"
7"River"
8"Taff"
9"Surrey"
globalScore1
windowScore0.667
26.54% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences81
glossingSentenceCount4
matches
0"felt like dry sand in her mouth"
1"sounded like manicured lawns, mortgage pay"
2"solo that seemed to drag the shadows out from the corners of the room"
3"looked like a man who had won everything"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches0
per1kWords0
wordCount1972
matches(empty)
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount0
totalSentences127
matches(empty)
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs51
mean38.67
std25.72
cv0.665
sampleLengths
072
193
263
321
430
561
611
739
87
977
1012
1166
1240
1354
1443
1546
1612
1746
1851
1953
203
2157
2223
2347
2454
255
2635
2730
281
2976
3082
3135
3272
3361
348
3569
3651
3715
3884
3928
4010
415
4258
434
442
4540
4616
4759
486
4923
85.02% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount6
totalSentences104
matches
0"been tailored"
1"was cropped"
2"were fixed"
3"were manicured"
4"was gone"
5"was made"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount1
totalVerbs240
matches
0"was shedding"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount11
semicolonCount2
flaggedSentences8
totalSentences127
ratio0.063
matches
0"He carried his weight with a quiet, military authority, though the slight limp in his left leg—a souvenir from Prague he never spoke about—softened his hard edges."
1"But a sudden draft of cold air swept in, carrying the scent of expensive cologne—sandalwood and expensive leather—and a voice that made the skin on the back of Rory’s neck prickle."
2"The voice was deeper than she remembered, stripped of its adolescent cracks, but the cadence—the sharp, overly precise vowels of someone who had spent their childhood trying to sound like they belonged to a grand house in Glamorgan—was unmistakable."
3"But it was the mouth—the slightly downturned, petulant set of the lips—that gave him away."
4"\"Partner, actually. Last year.\" There was a brief flash of the old, arrogant Evan—the boy who used to memorize Latin phrases just to drop them into casual conversations—but it faded quickly, replaced by a hollow, searching look."
5"He didn't look at her; he looked at his Scotch, which Silas had silently set down in front of him."
6"The anger that had fueled her flight to London, the fear that had kept her checking over her shoulder for the first year in the city—it had all evaporated, leaving only a vast, gray distance."
7"He was a wealthy man in a bespoke suit with an empty five-bedroom house in Surrey; she was a girl with grease under her fingernails, living above a Soho bar, delivering food to strangers."
94.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1597
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"small, crescent-shaped scar"
adverbCount53
adverbRatio0.03318722604884158
lyAdverbCount26
lyAdverbRatio0.01628052598622417
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences127
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences127
mean15.53
std10.56
cv0.68
sampleLengths
027
131
214
320
416
529
66
722
811
927
1025
1121
1211
1319
145
1525
1631
1711
1839
192
205
2126
2226
2310
2415
253
269
2710
2815
2918
3023
3118
3215
337
345
3512
3637
3717
3826
397
4019
416
4214
4312
4427
4519
467
4713
4831
497
43.04% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats17
diversityRatio0.33858267716535434
totalSentences127
uniqueOpeners43
35.46% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount1
totalSentences94
matches
0"Then, his eyes widened, locking"
ratio0.011
15.74% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount48
totalSentences94
matches
0"It smelled of wet wool,"
1"Her shoulder-length black hair was"
2"She had spent the last"
3"He carried his weight with"
4"He wiped down a pint"
5"He nodded, but before he"
6"She slowly turned her head."
7"He was shedding a heavy"
8"His hair, once a wild,"
9"His hazel eyes swept over"
10"he breathed, using the middle"
11"He took a half-step forward,"
12"Her voice was flat, a"
13"She felt the small, crescent-shaped"
14"He took the stool next"
15"He smelled of rain and"
16"He rubbed his palms together,"
17"She took her glass of"
18"He sounded exhausted, a genuine"
19"she repeated, tasting the word"
ratio0.511
34.47% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount80
totalSentences94
matches
0"The green neon sign of"
1"It smelled of wet wool,"
2"Aurora Carter sat at the"
3"Her shoulder-length black hair was"
4"She had spent the last"
5"He carried his weight with"
6"He wiped down a pint"
7"Silas asked, his voice a"
8"Rory said, offering a tired"
9"He nodded, but before he"
10"Rory didn't turn around immediately."
11"The voice was deeper than"
12"She slowly turned her head."
13"He was shedding a heavy"
14"His hair, once a wild,"
15"The name felt like dry"
16"The man jerked, his shoulders"
17"His hazel eyes swept over"
18"he breathed, using the middle"
19"He took a half-step forward,"
ratio0.851
53.19% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount1
totalSentences94
matches
0"Now, she just wanted the"
ratio0.011
0.00% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences59
technicalSentenceCount13
matches
0"She had spent the last three hours delivering boxes of steaming dim sum for the Golden Empress, her thighs aching from pedaling through the clogged veins of the…"
1"But a sudden draft of cold air swept in, carrying the scent of expensive cologne—sandalwood and expensive leather—and a voice that made the skin on the back of …"
2"The voice was deeper than she remembered, stripped of its adolescent cracks, but the cadence—the sharp, overly precise vowels of someone who had spent their chi…"
3"He was shedding a heavy black trench coat, drape-cut and smelling of wealth, revealing a charcoal wool suit that had clearly been tailored on Savile Row."
4"He took a half-step forward, his hand rising instinctively before dropping back to his side."
5"She felt the small, crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist begin to throb, an phantom itch from an old autumn evening they had spent screaming at each other in …"
6"Evan looked around the empty bar, his eyes lingering on Silas, who had stopped wiping the glass."
7"Silas didn't say anything, but his hazel eyes were fixed on Evan with the cool, analytical scrutiny of a man who spent his life measuring threats."
8"There were dark circles under his eyes, and a deep line etched between his brows that hadn't been there when he was twenty-one."
9"The anger that had fueled her flight to London, the fear that had kept her checking over her shoulder for the first year in the city—it had all evaporated, leav…"
10"He was a wealthy man in a bespoke suit with an empty five-bedroom house in Surrey; she was a girl with grease under her fingernails, living above a Soho bar, de…"
11"He lingered for a fraction of a second, his hand hovering over the back of her stool, as if he wanted to touch the rough canvas of her delivery jacket."
12"Rory looked at the door, then down at her wrist, tracing the small crescent scar one last time before letting her hand drop."
28.85% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags26
uselessAdditionCount5
matches
0"Evan continued, his voice barely above a whisper"
1"she said, her voice dropping an octave"
2"he said quickly, though his fingers tightened around the glass until his knuckles went white"
3"He swallowed, his throat bobbing"
4"he said, his voice thick"
88.78% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags21
fancyCount3
fancyTags
0"he breathed (breathe)"
1"she repeated (repeat)"
2"Evan continued (continue)"
dialogueSentences49
tagDensity0.429
leniency0.857
rawRatio0.143
effectiveRatio0.122
69.2662%