Run: 2026-05-27-01KSMEXV7XGM2N89QZGBDBEKV6

"Molly, this is the stupidest plan you've ever come up with," Bill whispered, adjusting his fake bowtie for what felt like the thousandth time. "What kind of criminal steals from kids?" Molly cocked her head and grinned. "The kind of criminal with a heart of gold and pockets full of empty promises. Those parents spend a fortune on this stuff. We're redistributing wealth, Bill. For children. The parents can afford it, trust me." "Redistributing wealth?" Bill rolled his eyes. "You're telling me you care about children's parties now? Last week you tried to steal the Eiffel Tower." "I was going to give it to Paris! It was a gift," Molly said, waving a hand dismissively. "Look, the surveillance is laughable. No guards, a single unlocked side door, and parents too busy pretending they like each other to notice us. We'll be in and out before the piñata even hits the ground." Bill sighed, runs a hand through his thinning hair. "Fine. But if we get caught, I'm telling them you forced me at gunpoint." "SEMI-automatic," Molly corrected. "And I'm flattered, but we don't use guns. We use this." She patted a slim jim in her jacket pocket. "There it is," Bill muttered under his breath. "The what?" "The zoomies. Molly's got the zoomies again," Bill said, watching her bounce on the balls of her feet with manic energy. "It's not the zoomies! It's professional enthusiasm!" She checked her wristwatch, a tacky cartoon character timepiece that clunked with each movement. "Alright, operation 'Juicy Fruit Snatch' is a go in T-minus five minutes." "Did you have to call it that?" "Relax, Bill. This'll be fun. We'll be like two little elves in a candy factory." Molly adjusted her floppy ear headband. "Do I look suspicious?" Bill squinted at her. "Define suspicious... and elf-like. What's with the ears?" "Disguise! Everyone will think I'm just another kid at the party," Molly said excitedly. "Though I'd wait until they're inside if I were you." "Inside where? The party just started. We're supposed to be waiting for the parents to get drunk," Bill reminded her. "Details! I already cased the place," Molly flapped a map of the back yard. "The treasure is unattended in the playroom. And according to my calculations, the birthday girl is allergic to peanuts—" She pointed to a note she'd swiped from the entry table. "Which means she can't have the cupcakes, which means mom will be distracted, which gives us exactly 18.3 minutes of window to work." "Beautiful," Bill deadpanned. "Just beautiful. Why don't we just rob the police station while we're at it? Less risk involved." "There's always risk, Bill! That's what makes it exciting!" Molly gripped his shoulders. "We've planned for everything. We bring the presents, I grab the goodie bags from the car, you drive away, mission accomplished. We'll liquidate the loot and be sipping margaritas in Cancún by midnight!" "I knew it," Bill groaned. "We're not even going to spend it on the kids. This is about you and your margaritas." "It's for the community, Bill," Molly said earnestly. "One giant community of one person. Me. Now come on! Sanchez is waiting at the wheel!" "He's always 'waiting at the wheel,' Molly. He's our getaway driver, not our chauffeur." "Semantics!" Molly zipped up her jacket and adjusted her elf ears one final time. "Game faces on, partner. The party of the year awaits... and so does that Power Rangers toy that's been haunting my dreams since the commercial." "Of course," Bill muttered, following her toward the house. "Toys. Because that's totally normal for a grown woman with a criminal record."