Run: 2026-07-09-01KX40C90D8RFWGSNTE32AZEGN

“Bill, repeat the plan.” “We sneak into the children’s party, steal every present, and leave before anyone notices.” “Excellent. What’s the disguise?” “Clowns.” “Children’s parties already contain clowns.” “Exactly. We’ll blend in.” “Bill, you’re six-foot-four and terrified of balloons.” “I’ll be a tall clown. You’ll be a short clown.” “I’m not short. I’m strategically compact.” “Fine. Strategically compact.” “And how do we get past the parents?” “Offer them cake.” “That’s your solution to everything.” “It’s cake, Molly. Civilization was built on it.” “Where are we putting the presents?” “In the getaway van.” “The van with ‘Molly and Bill’s Totally Legitimate Birthday Supplies’ painted on the side?” “It establishes trust.” “It establishes evidence.” “Then we’ll use the wagon.” “The tiny red wagon?” “It has wheels.” “It has a unicorn sticker.” “Children won’t suspect a unicorn.” “Children suspect everything. Last week one accused me of stealing his sandwich.” “Did you?” “Not successfully.” “Focus. We enter during musical chairs, when everyone’s distracted.” “And if the music stops?” “We freeze.” “Even while carrying twenty presents?” “Especially then. It’ll look like a festive sculpture.” “Molly?” “Yes?” “Why are we stealing children’s presents?” “Because the invitation says ‘bring a gift,’ and we forgot ours.” “So this is desperation?” “This is punctuality with ambition.” “You know, we could just buy one.” “We’re thieves, Bill.” “Right. Professional standards.” “Grab the masks.” “Which ones?” “The clown masks.” “Why does mine have fangs?” “Strategic branding.” “Wonderful. We’re doomed.” “Cheerfully doomed. Now smile.” “Why?” “The cake table is guarded.” “By whom?” “A grandmother.” “Terrifying.” “Exactly. Our greatest challenge.”