Run: 2026-07-09-01KX40FSMGB1H4QY1AF6PYVMH3

Molly crouched behind the hedge, studying the bungalow across the street. Balloons bobbed from the gateposts, each printed with a grinning pirate and the words CAPTAIN JOSIE TURNS SIX. Through the front window, children whirled in circles while a man in a plastic eyepatch attempted to organize them with a whistle. Bill adjusted his black ski mask, which had two eyeholes and a stitched-on unicorn horn. “Why are we robbing a children’s party dressed as a burglar and a magical horse?” “Because the unicorn mask was in the discount bin.” “It makes me look suspicious.” “We are suspicious, Bill. We’re crouching in a hydrangea with a wheelbarrow.” “The wheelbarrow is the weak link. Nobody expects a professional thief to use gardening equipment.” “Nobody expects a professional thief to steal birthday presents either.” Bill peered over the hedge. “I object to that phrasing. We’re not stealing presents. We’re reallocating joy.” “To whom?” “Us, temporarily.” Molly unfolded a hand-drawn map of the house. It was mostly triangles, arrows, and a note reading DOG? beside the kitchen. “The presents are in the dining room,” she said. “Stacked beside the cake table. We enter through the side gate, cross the patio, slip through the back door, load the wheelbarrow, and leave before the magician makes the rabbit disappear.” “What if the rabbit is guarding the presents?” “Then we negotiate.” “With a rabbit?” “I’ve dealt with worse. Remember the jeweler’s parrot?” Bill shuddered. “It knew my mother’s maiden name.” Across the street, a child shrieked happily as the pirate host produced a balloon sword. Molly checked her watch. The minute hand had a tiny skull sticker on it, because Bill had decorated it during a stakeout. “Now,” she said. They scuttled through the gate, moving with all the stealth of two adults dragging an empty wheelbarrow over gravel. Bill’s wheel squeaked loudly enough to summon pigeons from three gardens. “Oil it,” Molly hissed. “With what?” “Criminal competence.” “I left that in my other trousers.” At the patio door, Molly tried the handle. It opened immediately. “That’s unsettling,” Bill whispered. “It’s a children’s party, not Fort Knox.” “Fort Knox probably has fewer crumbs.” They stepped inside. The kitchen was deserted except for a tray of sausage rolls and a golden retriever wearing a pirate bandanna. The dog looked at them, looked at the sausage rolls, then looked back at them with professional indifference. “Dog,” Bill said. “Bribe it.” “With what?” Bill grabbed a sausage roll and held it out. “Ahoy, noble beast.” The retriever took the snack delicately, then wagged its tail and led them toward the dining room. “I think we’ve hired him,” Molly said. The presents towered beneath a banner reading JOSIE’S TREASURE. There were dolls, board games, glittering boxes, and one enormous gift wrapped in dinosaur paper. Bill’s eyes widened. “This is the biggest score of our careers.” “It’s mostly plastic.” “Plastic is the future.” They began loading the wheelbarrow. Molly lifted a box that rattled. “What do you think this is?” “Probably a chemistry set.” “For a six-year-old?” “Maybe she’s ambitious.” A voice floated in from the hallway. “Who wants cake?” Bill froze, clutching a toy microscope. “Molly,” he whispered, “we have company.” “Hide.” “Where?” “Under the table.” “The table has a cloth that reaches my knees.” “Then crouch artistically.” They ducked beneath the cake table just as a little girl entered the room. She wore a pirate hat, a purple cape, and the expression of someone who had already identified the weakest link in society. She stared at the wheelbarrow. “Are you stealing my presents?” she asked. Bill looked at Molly. Molly looked at Bill. “No,” Bill said. “We’re delivering them.” Josie narrowed her eyes. “In a wheelbarrow?” “It’s eco-friendly.” She considered this. “Can I have the dinosaur one first?” Molly slid it from the pile. “Absolutely, Captain.” Josie grinned. “You can stay for cake.” Bill exhaled. “Best getaway vehicle we’ve ever had.” The retriever barked approvingly and stole another sausage roll.