Run: 2026-07-09-01KX40KEQ9F8PCEN3KMZAKWX1T

Rain ticked against the van roof while Molly unfolded a crumpled map of the community center. On it, she had drawn three entrances, two escape routes, and what appeared to be a furious potato. Bill leaned over her shoulder. “Is that the floor plan?” “It’s the floor plan after I improved it.” “By adding a potato?” “That’s the security guard.” Bill peered through the windshield. The building glowed with paper stars and cheerful balloons. A banner over the door announced: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, OLIVER! PLEASE DON’T CLIMB THE CAKE. “Why are we stealing from a children’s party?” he asked. “Because the presents are small, portable, and wrapped.” “That describes candy.” “Candy doesn’t come with batteries.” Molly checked her watch. Inside, children shrieked happily as an adult attempted to lead them in a game involving musical chairs and a suspicious amount of glitter. The presents sat in a bright pile beneath a cardboard castle. Bill sighed. “This is the lowest we’ve ever sunk.” “We once robbed a magician.” “He was wearing a tuxedo.” “He was twelve.” “He had a permit.” Molly ignored him and pulled two costumes from a duffel bag. One was a purple dragon with felt wings. The other was a yellow chicken with enormous feet. Bill held up the chicken head. “Why am I the chicken?” “Because you have the posture.” “I have excellent posture.” “Exactly.” Five minutes later, they approached the entrance. Molly waddled like a dragon. Bill shuffled behind her, the chicken’s beak pointing accusingly at the floor. A harried woman blocked their path. “Can I help you?” she asked. Molly raised one claw. “Entertainment.” Bill added, “Special entertainment.” The woman glanced at the sign-in table. “You’re not on the list.” Molly bent toward Bill. “You said you handled the list.” “I handled a list.” “Of what?” “Groceries.” The woman frowned. “Are you performers?” Bill flapped his wings. “We’re emotionally complicated.” Molly elbowed him. “We’re here for the surprise.” “What surprise?” “The one where nobody asks questions.” The woman stared at them for a long, terrible moment. Then a child sprinted past, shouting, “Dragon! Chicken! Make them dance!” The room erupted in applause. Molly leaned close to Bill. “New plan. We perform.” “I don’t dance.” “You’re a chicken.” “I’m a professional thief.” “Tonight, you’re both.” They stumbled into the party. Molly spun, knocking over a tower of paper cups. Bill attempted a wing flap and struck a balloon, which burst above his head with the sharpness of a gunshot. Half the children screamed. The other half cheered. Under cover of the confusion, Molly reached the present pile and began sliding packages into her oversized tail. Bill crouched beside her. “This one says ‘To Oliver, from Grandma.’” “Take it.” “This one says ‘Live insects.’” “Leave it.” “Why?” “Because if Grandma sent insects, Oliver deserves them.” A small girl approached, holding a gift wrapped in silver paper. “Are you taking the presents?” Molly froze. Bill slowly turned his chicken head toward her. “We’re relocating them,” Molly said. “Where?” “Somewhere safer.” The girl considered this. “Can you relocate mine first?” Bill whispered, “We’re doomed.” Molly smiled beneath the dragon’s snout. “Not doomed. Promoted.” Within minutes, the children formed a cheerful assembly line, handing over presents while Molly and Bill stuffed them into the van. When the last package disappeared, Oliver’s mother thanked them for “the most organized party entertainment ever.” Bill drove into the rain. “We stole everything.” Molly opened a box. Inside was a glittery plastic tiara. “Correction,” she said. “We stole everything except the dignity.”