Run: 2026-07-09-01KX40VSCA7T87062TAHASK0WS

“Bill, why are you wearing a pirate hat?” “Because children fear pirates.” “Children adore pirates. You’ve got a foam parrot.” “It’s camouflage.” “We’re breaking into a birthday party, not auditioning for a discount pantomime.” “Fine. What’s your disguise?” “A balloon artist.” “You can’t make balloons.” “I can make one shape.” “A sad sausage?” “A convincing sword, thank you.” “Right. We enter through the garden gate at three.” “During the magician?” “During the magician. Everyone watches the rabbit.” “What if there isn’t a rabbit?” “Then we improvise.” “With what?” “Smoke bombs.” “At a children’s party?” “Tiny smoke bombs.” “Molly, that’s called glitter.” “Exactly. Chaos without paperwork.” “And the presents?” “Stacked by the cake table. We load them into the buggy.” “The buggy has ducks on it.” “Perfect. Nobody suspects ducks.” “I suspect ducks.” “You suspect most things.” “I once saw a duck steal a sandwich.” “Focus. You distract the parents.” “How?” “Tell them you’re gluten-free and emotionally overwhelmed.” “That usually works at weddings.” “Parents are just wedding guests with juice stains.” “And if the birthday child sees us?” “You twist balloons.” “I only know sad sausage.” “Then make a sad sausage. Children love tragedy.” “What about the dog?” “Feed it a sausage.” “Sad?” “Bill, move.”