Run: 2026-07-09-01KX40YGP3EN6SB16V01CWTSRP

Molly lay flat on the church hall roof, peering through a skylight at the children’s party below. Balloons bobbed around the room like nervous jellyfish. A man in a pirate hat was trying to light candles while wearing oven gloves. Bill shuffled beside her, producing a sound like a sack of teaspoons falling down stairs. “Stop moving,” Molly hissed. “I’m not moving. The roof is moving.” “The roof has been here since 1894.” “Then it’s had plenty of time to develop opinions.” Below them, twenty children screamed the chorus of “Happy Birthday” with the confidence of people who had never heard music before. At the centre of the hall stood a mountain of presents: dolls, toy trucks, glittery boxes, one enormous package shaped suspiciously like a pony. Bill’s eyes misted over. “Look at them,” he whispered. “All those gifts. Brand new. Untaxed.” “Focus.” “I am focused. I’m so focused I can see wrapping-paper patterns.” “You can’t see wrapping-paper patterns from here.” “I can see the emotional potential of wrapping-paper patterns.” Molly handed him a folded floor plan. “We go in through the kitchen window at three fifteen. The magician starts his disappearing-rabbit routine at three seventeen. That gives us seven minutes.” “Why seven?” “Because the rabbit’s union insists on a break.” Bill examined the plan upside down. “What’s this room marked ‘Bouncy Castle Storage’?” “That’s the escape route.” “Through a bouncy castle?” “Into one. We emerge in the car park.” “That sounds less like a plan and more like a children’s injury report.” Molly pointed at the hall. “Presents are by the stage. Parents are distracted by cake. Children are distracted by sugar. The birthday boy is distracted by having a plastic sword.” “What about the clown?” “There is no clown.” A painted face suddenly appeared beneath the skylight, staring directly up at them. It smiled slowly. Bill clutched Molly’s sleeve. “There is definitely a clown.” The clown raised a finger to his lips, then vanished behind a balloon arch. “I hate him,” said Molly. “You’ve met him before?” “No. I hate him professionally.” At three fifteen precisely, they dropped into the kitchen through the open window. Bill landed in a tray of sausage rolls. “Quiet,” Molly snapped. “I was quiet. The sausage rolls applauded.” A woman in a caterpillar costume entered from the corridor, carrying a bucket of fizzy orange drink. Molly and Bill froze behind a stack of paper plates. The woman paused. “Did someone say sausage rolls?” Bill nodded before Molly could stop him. “Yes,” he said. “Me. I’m the new catering inspector.” The caterpillar blinked. “You’re wearing a black balaclava.” “Food hygiene is very secretive.” Molly stepped out, grabbed two boxes of presents from a nearby trolley, and shoved one into Bill’s arms. “Go.” They sprinted into the hall just as the magician shouted, “And now, children, prepare to be amazed!” Every child turned toward the stage. Every adult lifted a phone. Molly swept presents into a wheeled laundry bin. Bill seized the enormous pony-shaped package. “Bill,” Molly whispered fiercely, “that is too big.” “It could be a bicycle.” “It could be an actual pony.” “Then we sell it to a princess.” The clown reappeared beside them. “Taking presents?” he asked pleasantly. Bill gulped. “Borrowing them.” “For whom?” “Our… nephews.” Molly stared at him. “What?” Bill said. “Everyone has nephews.” The clown leaned close. “The birthday boy’s name is Trevor. He has no nephews.” “Then we’re his uncles,” Bill said. Molly shoved the laundry bin toward the bouncy castle storage door. “Run.” They burst through it, tripped over a deflated inflatable dragon, and found themselves trapped in a cupboard full of party hats. Behind them, the magician announced, “For my final trick, I shall make these burglars disappear!” The children cheered. Molly adjusted a cone hat on Bill’s head. “New plan.” Bill looked at the tiny elastic strap cutting into his chin. “What?” “We join the party.” “Are we still stealing the presents?” Molly watched the parents applaud as the magician produced the rabbit from a glittering box. “Of course,” she said. “But first, cake.”