Run: 2026-07-09-01KX411JBCAGCCFV2P17J57JBN

“Molly, the invitations say Princess Poppy turns six at two.” “Excellent. At two-thirty, sugar crash. At three, parental despair.” “We are not calling it Operation Cupcake.” “Why not? Every crime deserves frosting.” “Because we’re stealing presents from children, Bill. We need dignity.” “Dignity wore a tuxedo to rob the aquarium. We wore snorkeling masks.” “Focus. Back gate?” “Guarded by balloon arch and a golden retriever named Sprinkles.” “Can you distract Sprinkles?” “I brought sausage.” “That’s for you.” “I brought extra sausage.” “The presents will be stacked by the fireplace. We take the bags, leave the cards.” “And no stepping on party hats. They squeak.” “Good. You carry the sack.” “Why me?” “Because last time you tried to carry a sack, you got stuck in a chimney.” “It was a mailbox.” “Details. What’s our exit?” “Through the bouncy castle.” “That’s not an exit. That’s a pneumatic lawsuit.” “It leads to side lawn.” “And if someone sees us?” “We say we’re entertainers.” “Doing what?” “You juggle.” “I can juggle.” “You can drop three oranges in a convincing pattern.” “Fine. You?” “I’ll be the magician.” “Do you know magic?” “I’m about to make forty-seven presents disappear.” “Now that,” Bill said, “is criminally pure confidence.”