Run: 2026-07-25-01KYCXDGYJZ8Y96XMXH1HF9T2A

Run Details

Duration:
35.1s
Cost:
$0.041793
Provider:
Google AI Studio

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The green neon sign outside *The Raven's Nest* hummed with a low, electric vibration that Rory could feel in her teeth whenever she stood too close to the front glass. Rain had been falling over Soho since four in the afternoon, coating the pavement in a dark, greasy sheen that caught the bar’s emerald light and reflected it back in long, smeared ribbons. Inside, the light was warm, amber, and thick with the smells of stale ale, floor polish, and damp wool. Rory sat on her usual stool at the far corner of the polished oak counter, her fingers wrapped around the curved glass of a cheap cider. Her oilskin delivery jacket hung over the back of her chair, still smelling faintly of rain and the sweet, burnt-sugar tang of plum sauce from Yu-Fei Cheung’s kitchen. She had wiped two deliveries' worth of road grime off her moped before walking up the lane, and her hands were tired, the joints aching in the autumn chill. Behind the taps, Silas moved with his accustomed, heavy rhythm. His left leg hitched slightly on every turn—a slow, deliberate hitch that Rory had grown used to over the months she’d spent living in the small flat above the bar. He was wiping down a heavy tumbler with a linen cloth, the silver signet ring on his right hand clinking softly against the glass. His beard, auburn shot through with gray like dry bracken, was trimmed close to his jaw. He didn't look up when the brass bell above the front door chimed, but his hazel eyes flicked to the mirror mounted beneath the old black-and-white photographs on the wall, scanning the dark glass before his hands resumed their rhythmic work. Rory glanced at the mirror, too. It was a habit Silas had drilled into her without ever speaking a full sentence on the matter. The man shaking his umbrella in the doorway was tall, broad-shouldered, and soaked through the lapels of a charcoal-gray coat that had clearly cost more than Rory made in three months at the Golden Empress. He shook the rain off his dome with a practiced, heavy snap, then smoothed his wet hair back with a hand that wore a silver signet ring of a very different sort—unworn, bright, etched with a family crest. Rory’s breath hitched. The cider went cold in her throat. Rhys. He turned toward the bar, searching for a place to sit, his eyes skimming the half-empty room—the yellowed maps of pre-war Europe pinned to the wood paneling, the quiet old men in the booths, Silas' motionless frame—before landing directly on her. He froze. For three seconds, the only sound in the bar was the hum of the neon outside and the drip of rainwater from Rhys’ umbrella onto the threshold rug. "Aurora?" he said. The name sounded foreign, heavy with the accent of South Wales, rich with the clipped cadence of Cardiff’s civic courts. It was a name she hadn't heard out loud in nearly three years. Here, to Silas, to Yu-Fei, to the shopkeepers along the lane, she was Rory. Aurora Carter was someone who lived in leather-bound notebooks, who sat in lecture halls at Cardiff University listening to her father’s friends lecture on equity and trusts, who stood on cold stone verandas in Cathays Park talking about pupillages and civil chambers. Rhys took two steps forward, his polished brogues squeaking against the floorboards. "God above... it *is* you." "Rhys," she said softly. Her voice sounded thin to her own ears, stripped of the sharp, defensive gravel she usually used when delivering grease-spotted paper bags to fourth-floor walk-ups. He stopped at the stool next to hers, his eyes darting down her face—her bright blue eyes, her straight black hair cut bluntly at her shoulders—before trailing down to her worn flannel shirt and the scuffed toes of her work boots. A shadow crossed his face, a sudden, clumsy re-calibration of every memory he held of her. "I thought... Christ, Rory, nobody’s heard from you since the winter before last," Rhys said, his voice dropping into a register meant for private confessions. He gestured vaguely toward her clothes, toward the room, toward the universe outside Soho. "Your dad... Brendan said you took some time out. He told everyone you were travelling in Europe." "Did he?" Rory took a sip of her cider. It tasted sour. "That sounds like something he’d say." Silas moved down the bar with his quiet, uneven gait. He placed a fresh coaster on the wood in front of Rhys, his face completely unreadable. "What can I get you, sir?" Rhys looked up, momentary disorientation flickering in his face as he took in Silas—the height, the broad shoulders, the faint, faded white line of an old scar running through the grey-streaked auburn eyebrow. "Single malt. Whatever you have that's decent." "Laphroaig," Silas said, not a question. He turned to pour it. "Rhys," Rory said quietly, watching Silas' back. "What are you doing in Soho?" "A brief in the Chancery Division," Rhys said. He sat down on the stool beside her, though he kept his coat on, as if afraid the dust of the place might transfer to his suit. He looked at her again, his brow furrowing. "I had a hearing today. Just walking back toward the tube when the sky opened up. But... you, Rory? Here? I called your mother six months ago. Jennifer said you weren't taking calls." "I changed my number." "Why?" There was no cruelty in Rhys' voice, which made it worse. There was only the honest, bewildered disappointment of an old friend who had expected her to be standing next to him in a wig and gown by now. "You were top of our cohort. You had the scholarship lined up. Brendan was ready to hand you his chambers on a silver platter. You just... walked off." Rory reached up with her left hand, her fingers instinctively curling over her left wrist. She pulled the cuff of her flannel shirt down half an inch, covering the small, crescent-shaped scar tucked into the crease of her skin. It was an old mark—from a dropped tea glass when she was seven—but over the last two years it had become a anchor, a physical point she touched whenever her mind threatened to drag her back to Cardiff. Back to the small, cold house off Roath Park. Back to Evan. "I didn't walk off," she said quietly. "I left." "Without telling anyone?" Rhys picked up the tumbler Silas set down before him. He took a short, sharp drink, wincing at the peat. "Evan was beside himself, Rory. He spent three months coming around to the library asking if any of us had heard from you. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks." A cold, sharp needle pressed against the back of Rory’s neck. She didn't look at Rhys; she looked into the dark amber depths of her cider glass. Evan. Evan, with his quiet voice and his soft, heavy hands. Evan, who had slowly cleared her calendar, cleared her friends, cleared her choices, until the only thing left in her life was the terrifying, suffocating air of his apartment. Evan, who had smiled so pleasantly at her father over Sunday roasts while squeezing her knee beneath the tablecloth until the bone bruised. "Evan is a liar," Rory said. The words came out flat, stripped of all emotion, like a line of code. Rhys blinked, startled by the coldness. "Rory, he was worried about you. We all were." "You didn't know him, Rhys." "I knew him for three years! He was in our study group!" Rhys leaned in, his voice dropping an octave, heavy with the patronizing grief of someone who thought he was rescuing an addict from a dark alley. "Look at you, Rory. Look at this place. You’re living in London working... what are you doing here? Someone said they saw you on a moped last month near Covent Garden. I told them they were blind." From six feet away, Silas stopped wiping down the beer taps. He didn't look over, but his frame straightened by a fraction of an inch, his hazel eyes shifting toward the reflection in the dark glass behind the spirits. "I work for Yu-Fei," Rory said, keeping her tone meticulously level. "At the Golden Empress. I deliver food. I live upstairs." Rhys stared at her. "You dropped out of law school to deliver take-out?" "I dropped out of law school to stop dying," she said. The words hung in the air, heavy and jagged, cutting straight through the soft warmth of the bar. Rhys pulled back slightly, his hand tightening around his glass. The silence between them grew, stretched thin and taut like wire. He looked at her face—really looked at it this time—not searching for the girl who used to debate contract law over cheap wine in the student union, but seeing the woman sitting beside him now. There were lines around her eyes that hadn't been there at twenty-two. Her jaw was set with a hard, flat permanence. The softness that her father had spent twenty years trying to mold, and that Evan had tried to smash, was completely gone. In its place was something lean, sparse, and entirely her own. "He hurt you," Rhys said softly. It wasn't a question. It was the sudden, awful click of a puzzle piece falling into place after three years of deliberate ignorance. Rory didn't answer. She didn't have to. Rhys looked down at his drink, the color draining slightly from his cheeks. "He... he told everyone you had a breakdown. He said you couldn't handle the pressure of the bar exams. He said Brendan was covering for you because you’d gone off the rails." "And you believed him," Rory said. It wasn't an accusation; it was just a statement of fact. "He was... he was Evan," Rhys whispered, the weight of his own complicity settling on his broad shoulders like wet wool. "He had that way about him. He was so damned convincing. And your father... Brendan didn't deny it. He just looked ashamed whenever anyone brought your name up." "My father was ashamed," Rory said, turning her glass in a slow circle on the damp wood. "He was ashamed that I left the path he laid out for me. He preferred people thinking I was crazy to people knowing I ran away." Rhys rubbed his face with one hand, his fingers leaving red marks on his forehead. "Rory... I'm sorry. I didn't know." "Nobody knew," she said. "Eva knew. She’s the one who got me on the bus to Victoria." "Do you... do you ever mean to come back?" Rhys asked. He looked around the bar again, but this time his eyes didn't hold disdain—only a deep, uncomfortable sorrow. "You were so brilliant, Rory. The brightest of us all. You could have been anything." "I am something," Rory said. She turned her head and looked him directly in the eyes. Her bright blue gaze was clear, cold, and entirely unyielding. "I'm free." Rhys swallowed hard. He reached into his coat pocket, pulled out a thick leather wallet, and laid a twenty-pound note on the counter next to his half-empty glass. He looked like he wanted to say ten different things—apologies, offers of money, invitations to dinner, promises of secrecy—but as he looked at her posture, the cool distance in her profile, he realized none of it belonged to him anymore. "If you ever... if you ever need anything, Rory," he said quietly, standing up. "My chambers are on Lincoln's Inn Fields. I'm in the directory." "Thank you, Rhys," she said. She didn't look up as he picked up his umbrella. He lingered for a second longer, a ghost from a life that felt like it belonged to a dead sister, then turned and walked out into the rain. The brass bell chimed once, sharp and clear, as the door swung shut behind him. The bar fell silent again, save for the hum of the green neon outside. Silas limped over, his heavy hand reaching out to sweep Rhys’ twenty-pound note off the oak counter. He checked the bill, folded it neatly, and slid it into the register with a soft *clack*. Then he pulled a fresh glass from beneath the counter, filled it with cold water from the tap, and set it down softly in front of Rory. "Friend of yours?" Silas asked softly, his hazel eyes resting on her with quiet, unhurried weight. Rory stared at the green neon light bleeding through the condensation on the front window. She reached out and touched the crescent scar on her left wrist, feeling the smooth, tough tissue under her thumb. "No," Rory said, her voice steady and clear in the quiet room. "Just someone I used to know."
created_at"2026-07-25T15:13:36.733Z" 7/25/2026, 3:13:36 PM
model"google/gemini-3.6-flash-20260721"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1531
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time35083
tokens_prompt846
tokens_completion4046
native_tokens_prompt842
native_tokens_completion5404
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning2577
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"STOP"
service_tier"default"
usage0.041793
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"5d6d133d-a953-4781-a835-7ee76f4e1388"
id"oNJkavCnMfCMjrEP27jbmAM"
is_byokfalse
latency1531
model_permaslug"google/gemini-3.6-flash-20260721"
provider_name"Google AI Studio"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.18.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1784992416-jPYmIAWQhVkZonjZE1If"
session_id(null)
preset_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1784992416-0SD1NcF8oS2VV3mVQFFD"
upstream_id"oNJkavCnMfCMjrEP27jbmAM"
total_cost0.041793
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Google AI Studio"
response_cache_source_id(null)
data_region"global"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
0.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags27
adverbTagCount6
adverbTags
0"she said softly [softly]"
1"Rory said quietly [quietly]"
2"she said quietly [quietly]"
3"Rhys said softly [softly]"
4"he said quietly [quietly]"
5"Silas asked softly [softly]"
dialogueSentences50
tagDensity0.54
leniency1
rawRatio0.222
effectiveRatio0.222
69.85% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2156
totalAiIsmAdverbs13
found
0
adverb"slightly"
count3
1
adverb"softly"
count5
2
adverb"very"
count1
3
adverb"completely"
count2
4
adverb"slowly"
count1
5
adverb"really"
count1
highlights
0"slightly"
1"softly"
2"very"
3"completely"
4"slowly"
5"really"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
65.21% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2156
totalAiIsms15
found
0
word"electric"
count1
1
word"could feel"
count1
2
word"chill"
count1
3
word"flicked"
count1
4
word"scanning"
count1
5
word"rhythmic"
count1
6
word"etched"
count1
7
word"unreadable"
count1
8
word"eyebrow"
count1
9
word"furrowing"
count1
10
word"depths"
count1
11
word"warmth"
count1
12
word"silence"
count1
13
word"weight"
count2
highlights
0"electric"
1"could feel"
2"chill"
3"flicked"
4"scanning"
5"rhythmic"
6"etched"
7"unreadable"
8"eyebrow"
9"furrowing"
10"depths"
11"warmth"
12"silence"
13"weight"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches1
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"hung in the air"
count1
highlights
0"hung in the air"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences110
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount1
narrationSentences110
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches
0"tried to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences135
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen44
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans3
markdownWords5
totalWords2142
ratio0.002
matches
0"The Raven's Nest"
1"is"
2"clack"
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions31
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
66.67% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions75
wordCount1627
uniqueNames20
maxNameDensity1.23
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity3
worstWindowName"Rhys"
discoveredNames
Raven1
Rory20
Soho2
Yu-Fei2
Cheung1
Silas10
Golden1
Empress1
Europe1
South1
Wales1
Cardiff3
Carter1
University1
Cathays1
Park2
Rhys18
Roath1
Evan6
Sunday1
persons
0"Rory"
1"Yu-Fei"
2"Cheung"
3"Silas"
4"Carter"
5"Rhys"
6"Evan"
places
0"Raven"
1"Soho"
2"Golden"
3"Europe"
4"South"
5"Wales"
6"Cardiff"
7"Cathays"
8"Park"
9"Roath"
globalScore0.885
windowScore0.667
88.27% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences81
glossingSentenceCount2
matches
0"looked like he wanted to say ten differen"
1"felt like it belonged to a dead sister"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches0
per1kWords0
wordCount2142
matches(empty)
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount0
totalSentences135
matches(empty)
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs60
mean35.7
std27.22
cv0.763
sampleLengths
063
1102
2121
324
473
510
61
741
82
928
103
1189
1217
1329
1457
1556
1618
1732
1840
1911
2013
2176
224
2368
2489
259
2654
2727
281
2962
3020
3115
325
3375
3439
3521
3613
3711
3818
3956
4054
4129
427
4345
4417
4549
4643
4721
4817
4944
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount0
totalSentences110
matches(empty)
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount2
totalVerbs262
matches
0"was wiping"
1"was rescuing"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount13
semicolonCount2
flaggedSentences11
totalSentences135
ratio0.081
matches
0"His left leg hitched slightly on every turn—a slow, deliberate hitch that Rory had grown used to over the months she’d spent living in the small flat above the bar."
1"He shook the rain off his dome with a practiced, heavy snap, then smoothed his wet hair back with a hand that wore a silver signet ring of a very different sort—unworn, bright, etched with a family crest."
2"He turned toward the bar, searching for a place to sit, his eyes skimming the half-empty room—the yellowed maps of pre-war Europe pinned to the wood paneling, the quiet old men in the booths, Silas' motionless frame—before landing directly on her."
3"He stopped at the stool next to hers, his eyes darting down her face—her bright blue eyes, her straight black hair cut bluntly at her shoulders—before trailing down to her worn flannel shirt and the scuffed toes of her work boots."
4"Rhys looked up, momentary disorientation flickering in his face as he took in Silas—the height, the broad shoulders, the faint, faded white line of an old scar running through the grey-streaked auburn eyebrow."
5"It was an old mark—from a dropped tea glass when she was seven—but over the last two years it had become a anchor, a physical point she touched whenever her mind threatened to drag her back to Cardiff."
6"She didn't look at Rhys; she looked into the dark amber depths of her cider glass."
7"He looked at her face—really looked at it this time—not searching for the girl who used to debate contract law over cheap wine in the student union, but seeing the woman sitting beside him now."
8"It wasn't an accusation; it was just a statement of fact."
9"He looked around the bar again, but this time his eyes didn't hold disdain—only a deep, uncomfortable sorrow."
10"He looked like he wanted to say ten different things—apologies, offers of money, invitations to dinner, promises of secrecy—but as he looked at her posture, the cool distance in her profile, he realized none of it belonged to him anymore."
94.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount512
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"sweet, burnt-sugar tang"
adverbCount15
adverbRatio0.029296875
lyAdverbCount1
lyAdverbRatio0.001953125
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences135
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences135
mean15.87
std10.82
cv0.682
sampleLengths
030
133
219
326
428
529
610
730
824
916
1041
116
1218
1335
1438
153
167
171
1841
192
2028
213
2220
2313
2414
2542
2612
275
284
2925
3041
3116
3225
3314
3417
359
363
376
3810
3916
406
4133
427
436
445
457
466
478
4827
498
45.93% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats13
diversityRatio0.3333333333333333
totalSentences135
uniqueOpeners45
34.01% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount1
totalSentences98
matches
0"Then he pulled a fresh"
ratio0.01
52.65% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount41
totalSentences98
matches
0"Her oilskin delivery jacket hung"
1"She had wiped two"
2"His left leg hitched slightly"
3"He was wiping down a"
4"His beard, auburn shot through"
5"He didn't look up when"
6"It was a habit Silas"
7"He shook the rain off"
8"He turned toward the bar,"
9"It was a name she"
10"she said softly"
11"Her voice sounded thin to"
12"He stopped at the stool"
13"He gestured vaguely toward her"
14"It tasted sour."
15"He placed a fresh coaster"
16"He turned to pour it."
17"He sat down on the"
18"He looked at her again,"
19"She pulled the cuff of"
ratio0.418
16.12% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount87
totalSentences98
matches
0"The green neon sign outside"
1"Rain had been falling over"
2"Rory sat on her usual"
3"Her oilskin delivery jacket hung"
4"She had wiped two"
5"His left leg hitched slightly"
6"He was wiping down a"
7"His beard, auburn shot through"
8"He didn't look up when"
9"Rory glanced at the mirror,"
10"It was a habit Silas"
11"The man shaking his umbrella"
12"He shook the rain off"
13"Rory’s breath hitched."
14"The cider went cold in"
15"He turned toward the bar,"
16"The name sounded foreign, heavy"
17"It was a name she"
18"Here, to Silas, to Yu-Fei,"
19"Aurora Carter was someone who"
ratio0.888
0.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount0
totalSentences98
matches(empty)
ratio0
40.82% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences63
technicalSentenceCount9
matches
0"Rain had been falling over Soho since four in the afternoon, coating the pavement in a dark, greasy sheen that caught the bar’s emerald light and reflected it b…"
1"The man shaking his umbrella in the doorway was tall, broad-shouldered, and soaked through the lapels of a charcoal-gray coat that had clearly cost more than Ro…"
2"He shook the rain off his dome with a practiced, heavy snap, then smoothed his wet hair back with a hand that wore a silver signet ring of a very different sort…"
3"Aurora Carter was someone who lived in leather-bound notebooks, who sat in lecture halls at Cardiff University listening to her father’s friends lecture on equi…"
4"He stopped at the stool next to hers, his eyes darting down her face—her bright blue eyes, her straight black hair cut bluntly at her shoulders—before trailing …"
5"There was only the honest, bewildered disappointment of an old friend who had expected her to be standing next to him in a wig and gown by now."
6"Evan, who had slowly cleared her calendar, cleared her friends, cleared her choices, until the only thing left in her life was the terrifying, suffocating air o…"
7"Evan, who had smiled so pleasantly at her father over Sunday roasts while squeezing her knee beneath the tablecloth until the bone bruised."
8"He looked at her face—really looked at it this time—not searching for the girl who used to debate contract law over cheap wine in the student union, but seeing …"
50.93% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags27
uselessAdditionCount4
matches
0"She had, and her hands were tired, the joints aching in the autumn chill"
1"Rhys said, his voice dropping into a register meant for private confessions"
2"Silas asked softly, his hazel eyes resting on her with quiet, unhurried weight"
3"Rory said, her voice steady and clear in the quiet room"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags21
fancyCount1
fancyTags
0"Rhys whispered (whisper)"
dialogueSentences50
tagDensity0.42
leniency0.84
rawRatio0.048
effectiveRatio0.04
74.1487%