Run: 2026-07-25-01KYCYB1WBWG3M3CWSM3FNMAPD

"The party starts at two," Molly said. "Perfect," Bill said. "The piñata dies at exactly two-fifteen, and the cake is already dead." "We're stealing presents, Bill, not murdering papier-mâché." "Same energy. Did you bring the bag?" "It's festive. Red velvet. Very inclusive." "It's a garbage bag with a ribbon." "A festive garbage bag. The kids are six, Molly. They scream louder than car alarms." "I'll wear earplugs. And the rented clown costume." "You actually rented a clown costume?" "From Chuckles Gone Wrong. It's hygienically questionable." "That sounds like an active crime scene." "It will be. Listen—the door's unlocked, parents are drunk on organic juice boxes, and the presents sit in the shadow of the bouncy castle." "That castle is guarded by a toddler named Brutus." "I'll distract him with a professional balloon animal." "You can't make balloon animals, Bill." "I make a balloon snake that hisses menacingly." "This plan has more holes than my last alibi." "Exactly. No one expects genius. They expect chaos. We are chaos wearing festive garbage bags." "If we get caught, I'm blaming the clown." "If we get caught, I'm blaming the parents' juice boxes." "Fine. But if there's a pony, I'm stealing it." "Molly. The pony is inflatable." "Even better. Less physical evidence."