Run: 2026-07-25-01KYCYH688VGBRQB8ZJMR4YGFM

Run Details

Duration:
34.6s
Cost:
$0.040091
Provider:
Google AI Studio

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The green neon sign outside *The Raven’s Nest* buzzed with a low, wet hum, casting a sickly emerald sheen across the rain-streaked window. Inside, the pub smelled of dark timber, stale ale, and the faint, bitter edge of wet wool. Behind the bar, Silas Blackwood moved with his usual deliberate economy, his left leg hitching slightly at every second step—a quiet reminder of a botched night in Prague thirty years past. His hazel eyes swept the floor, taking in the empty tables, the amber glow of the Edison bulbs, and the foxed black-and-white photographs of Soho long before the modern world had smoothed down its edges. Rory sat at the far end of the counter, tucked into the shadow of the heavy brass beer taps. Her shoulder-length black hair was still damp from her shift, sticking in dark needles to the collar of her jacket. On the coaster in front of her, a half-glass of sparkling water sat untouched. She traced the lip of the glass with her index finger, her mind caught in the dull rhythm of the rain outside, until the brass latch on the front door clattered open. A burst of November chill cut through the room, bringing with it the roar of traffic from Dean Street. A man stepped inside, shaking out a heavy black umbrella. He wore a charcoal-grey tailored overcoat that practically screamed money and intent—the kind of coat that didn't belong in a dive that smelled of old wood and floor polish. He paused on the mat, dark eyes scanning the interior with the practiced indifference of someone who had meant to enter a different bar entirely. Then his gaze drifted toward the end of the counter. And stopped. Rory didn't move, but every nerve along her spine pulled tight. She knew the slope of those shoulders before he even wiped the water from his brow. "Rory?" The voice carried the smooth, rounded vowels of the South Wales upper middle class—the sound of Cathays Park lecture halls, of Sunday lunches in the Vale of Glamorgan, of a life she had buried under three years of London exhaust and grease-stained takeout boxes from Golden Empress. It was Julian. Julian Rhys. He took two steps forward, his leather-soled shoes tapping sharply against the worn floorboards. He looked older, broader in the chest, his light brown hair cut back to a neat, barrister’s crop that showed off the sharp line of his jaw. He stopped three feet away, his umbrella dripping onto the mahogany. "It is you," Julian said, his voice dropping into a register of sheer, unvarnished disbelief. "Good God. Rory Carter." "Hello, Julian," she said. Her voice was flat, level—the cool, measured tone she had spent three years perfecting so no one would ever hear the tremor beneath it. Behind the bar, Silas paused. His right hand, anchored by the thick silver signet ring he always wore, rested flat on the polished wood. His hazel eyes flicked from Julian’s crisp lapels to Rory’s rigid profile. He didn't say a word, but the shift in his posture was immediate—the quiet authority of a man who had spent a lifetime reading room dynamics before the first shot was fired. "I don't believe it," Julian murmured. He pulled off his leather gloves, turning them in his hands. "Where have you—do you have any idea? Your father..." He caught himself, glancing around the dimly lit pub, taking in the yellowed maps on the walls and the faint stain of damp in the plaster near the ceiling. "What are you doing here?" "Living," Rory said. She lifted her glass, took a small sip, and set it back down in the exact center of the cardboard ring. Julian pulled out the stool beside her and sat down, though he kept his coat buttoned, as if afraid the atmosphere might coat his suit in soot. Silas limped over with that slow, rolling gait, stopping opposite them. "Pint of bitter," Julian said absently, waving a hand toward the taps without looking at Silas. Silas didn't move for a second. His gaze remained locked on Julian’s face, assessing the line of his mouth, the tension in his forehead. Then, with a faint nod, he turned to grab a glass, his ring clinking softly against the glass rack. "You vanished," Julian said, turning back to Rory. His tone carried a mix of lingering hurt and academic curiosity, like a man examining a cold case he had long since given up on solving. "One day you were in third-year seminars, arguing tort law with Professor Vance, and the next your flat in Cathays was cleared out. No forward address. No phone number. Brendan came to my room, Rory. Your dad came to my flat at two in the morning asking if I knew where you were." At the mention of her father’s name, Rory felt a cold, familiar knot tighten beneath her ribs. Brendan Carter. The formidable Irish barrister who could dismantle a witness with a lowered eyebrow, but who hadn't noticed the bruises under his daughter's sleeves until she had already run. "My dad knows how to find people when he wants to," Rory said softly. "He didn't look very hard." "That's not fair," Julian said, though the conviction in his voice wobbled. He looked down at her hands. Rory’s left hand was resting on the bar, her thumb unconsciously rubbing the small, crescent-shaped scar on her wrist—a souvenir from a broken glass framed in a garden bed when she was eight years old. Julian remembered that scar. He had seen it pressed against the pages of heavy law textbooks when they used to study together at the university library until midnight. Silas set the pint down between them with a wet *thud*. "Four pounds fifty," Silas said, his grey-streaked beard catching the light as he leaned forward. His voice was low, dry as tinder. Julian reached into his coat, pulled out a leather card holder, and tapped it against the reader Silas presented. "Keep the change." "Don't offer change on four pounds fifty," Silas said mildly, sliding the machine back into his apron. He stayed within arm's reach, wiping down a spot on the copper trim that didn't need wiping. Julian took a swallow of the ale, grimaced slightly at the temperature, and set it down. "Evan said you went crazy," he said quietly. The name hit the small space between them like a dropped weight. Rory didn't flinch. Her bright blue eyes met Julian's, completely unblinking. "Is that what Evan told you?" "He said you had some kind of breakdown. Said you grabbed a bag while he was at the chambers and just... bolted. He spent six months telling everyone in Cardiff that you'd fallen in with the wrong crowd in Bristol." Julian leaned closer, his brow furrowed with genuine, painful confusion. "Rory, we were going to take the Bar exams together. We had the flat lined up in Clifton. You were the smartest person in our cohort. What happened?" Rory looked at Julian—really looked at him. She saw the tidy trajectory of a life that had never been derailed. He had the healthy, slightly flush complexion of someone who slept eight hours a night, who ate at places with linen napkins, who believed that the law was a grand game played by gentleman rules. He didn't know about the locked doors in the flat off Roath Park. He didn't know about the sound of boots coming up the stairs, or the way Evan's fingers could wrap around a wrist until the skin turned purple under the crescent scar. He didn't know about the night she had hidden in the alley behind Queen Street station with sixty pounds in her pocket and Eva’s phone number scribbled on the palm of her hand. "I grew up," Rory said. "That's not an answer." "It's the only one you get, Julian." She looked away, her gaze drifting to the window where the neon sign turned the sheet-rain into a falling curtain of green fire. "I work for Yu-Fei down the block. I carry noodles in a thermal backpack on a bicycle with bad brakes. I live upstairs." Julian blinked, taking in the words as if they were written in a foreign language. "Takeout? Rory, you were Brendan Carter’s daughter. You had a first-class standing." "I have a life," she corrected him. "It's small, and it's cold sometimes, but it's mine. Nobody locked the door behind me when I left the flat this morning." The silence stretched out, thick and uncomfortable. Julian stared into his beer, the amber liquid reflecting the dull light of the bar. The distance between them wasn't just three years or two hundred miles of motorway; it was an ocean of violent, invisible history that Julian couldn't see and Rory had no desire to explain. "I saw him last month," Julian said quietly, his tone stripped of its earlier authority. "Evan. He's junior counsel now at Morgan & Reed. He bought a house in Penylan. He asked about you. He looked... sorry." Rory let out a single, sharp breath through her nose—not quite a laugh, but close enough to hurt. "He's good at looking sorry. He practiced in the mirror." Julian shifted uncomfortably on his stool. He looked at her dark hair, her plain sweater, the guarded, watchful stance that had replaced the fiery, arrogant girl who used to dominate the moot court competitions. The weight of time sat heavily between them—not as a bridge, but as a wall. "Do you ever think about coming back?" Julian asked. "Your mother... Jennifer still teaches at the primary school. She looks tired, Rory." Rory’s finger stopped on the glass. For a fraction of a second, her composure cracked—just enough for a flash of dark, terrible grief to show in her bright blue eyes. Then the shutters came back down, smooth and impenetrable. "Tell her I'm safe," Rory said, her voice dropping an octave. "If you see her. Don't tell Brendan. Just tell my mother I'm safe." Julian watched her for a long moment. He reached out a hand, as if to touch her shoulder, but the sharp flick of Silas’s eyes from across the bar made him think better of it. He drew his hand back and rested it on his knee. "We missed you," Julian said softly. "I missed you." "You missed the girl who used to sit in the law library," Rory said gently, and for the first time, her voice carried a trace of tenderness—a eulogy for a person who no longer existed. "She didn't survive the winter, Julian." Julian stood up. He left a ten-pound note on the bar, leaving the rest of his pint untouched. He buttoned his charcoal coat, pulled on his leather gloves, and picked up his umbrella. He looked at her one last time, waiting for something—a sign, an apology, a crack in the armor—but Rory just sat there, small and self-contained, watching the rain against the glass. "Goodbye, Rory," he said. "Goodbye, Julian." The door opened, the street noise rushed in, and then the heavy oak clicked shut behind him. The pub returned to its low, amber stillness. The green light outside flickered once, then burned steady against the dark. Silas walked over, swept the ten-pound note off the counter, and slid it into the till. He picked up Julian's full glass, poured the ale down the sink, and rinsed the pint pot with a hard jet of water. His left knee gave a quiet crack as he straightened up. "Lawyer?" Silas asked, his voice low and raspy. "Almost," Rory said. She stretched her left arm out, pulling her sleeve back down over the pale crescent on her wrist. "A lifetime ago." Silas picked up a dry rag and began polishing the counter in front of her, his silver signet ring making a soft, rhythmic *clack-clack* against the wood. "Lifetimes are cheap," he said quietly. "It's the staying alive that costs you." Rory looked up at him, meeting the old operative's hazel eyes. A faint, slow nod passed between them—an unspoken understanding forged in the dark spaces of the world where people had to die a little just to keep breathing. "Pour me a proper drink, Si," she said. Silas reached under the bar for the dark bottle of whiskey he kept hidden beneath the counter, and poured two fingers into a clean glass.
created_at"2026-07-25T15:33:05.425Z" 7/25/2026, 3:33:05 PM
model"google/gemini-3.6-flash-20260721"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1585
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time34541
tokens_prompt846
tokens_completion4030
native_tokens_prompt842
native_tokens_completion5177
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning2455
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"STOP"
service_tier"default"
usage0.0400905
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"5d6d133d-a953-4781-a835-7ee76f4e1388"
id"MddkavioH-WZ_uMPnc38eA"
is_byokfalse
latency1576
model_permaslug"google/gemini-3.6-flash-20260721"
provider_name"Google AI Studio"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.18.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1784993585-BbZZJ5xR8pQypocNFLlp"
session_id(null)
preset_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1784993585-kf4X94ItJzh9ZPSXIzIo"
upstream_id"MddkavioH-WZ_uMPnc38eA"
total_cost0.0400905
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Google AI Studio"
response_cache_source_id(null)
data_region"global"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
0.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags26
adverbTagCount9
adverbTags
0"Julian said absently [absently]"
1"Rory said softly [softly]"
2"Silas said mildly [mildly]"
3"he said quietly [quietly]"
4"She looked away [away]"
5"Julian said quietly [quietly]"
6"Julian said softly [softly]"
7"Rory said gently [gently]"
8"he said quietly [quietly]"
dialogueSentences47
tagDensity0.553
leniency1
rawRatio0.346
effectiveRatio0.346
73.61% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2084
totalAiIsmAdverbs11
found
0
adverb"slightly"
count3
1
adverb"sharply"
count1
2
adverb"softly"
count3
3
adverb"very"
count1
4
adverb"completely"
count1
5
adverb"really"
count1
6
adverb"gently"
count1
highlights
0"slightly"
1"sharply"
2"softly"
3"very"
4"completely"
5"really"
6"gently"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
56.81% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2084
totalAiIsms18
found
0
word"reminder"
count1
1
word"traced"
count1
2
word"chill"
count1
3
word"scanning"
count1
4
word"measured"
count1
5
word"flicked"
count1
6
word"tension"
count1
7
word"familiar"
count1
8
word"eyebrow"
count1
9
word"weight"
count2
10
word"furrowed"
count1
11
word"silence"
count1
12
word"desire"
count1
13
word"tenderness"
count1
14
word"flickered"
count1
15
word"rhythmic"
count1
16
word"unspoken"
count1
highlights
0"reminder"
1"traced"
2"chill"
3"scanning"
4"measured"
5"flicked"
6"tension"
7"familiar"
8"eyebrow"
9"weight"
10"furrowed"
11"silence"
12"desire"
13"tenderness"
14"flickered"
15"rhythmic"
16"unspoken"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences111
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount1
hedgeCount0
narrationSentences111
filterMatches
0"think"
hedgeMatches(empty)
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences132
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen54
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans3
markdownWords5
totalWords2069
ratio0.002
matches
0"The Raven’s Nest"
1"thud"
2"clack-clack"
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions29
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
50.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions86
wordCount1673
uniqueNames28
maxNameDensity1.55
worstName"Julian"
maxWindowNameDensity3.5
worstWindowName"Julian"
discoveredNames
Raven1
Silas14
Blackwood1
Prague1
Edison1
Soho1
November1
Dean1
Street2
South1
Wales1
Cathays1
Park2
Sunday1
Vale1
Glamorgan1
London1
Golden1
Empress1
Julian26
Rhys1
Rory19
Carter1
Irish1
Roath1
Evan1
Queen1
Eva1
persons
0"Silas"
1"Blackwood"
2"Edison"
3"November"
4"Julian"
5"Rhys"
6"Rory"
7"Carter"
8"Evan"
9"Queen"
10"Eva"
places
0"Raven"
1"Prague"
2"Soho"
3"Dean"
4"Street"
5"South"
6"Wales"
7"Cathays"
8"Park"
9"Vale"
10"London"
11"Golden"
12"Roath"
globalScore0.723
windowScore0.5
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences90
glossingSentenceCount1
matches
0"not quite a laugh, but close enough to hurt"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches2
per1kWords0.967
wordCount2069
matches
0"not quite a laugh, but close enough to hurt"
1"not as a bridge, but as a wall"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences132
matches
0"remembered that scar"
1"believed that the"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs57
mean36.3
std26.91
cv0.741
sampleLengths
0106
185
219
364
412
527
61
747
85
952
1019
1128
1268
1360
1424
1538
1616
1743
1887
1947
2019
2181
2233
2322
2434
2524
2612
2717
2878
29132
305
314
3253
3327
3429
3555
3637
3728
3849
3922
4039
4124
4246
439
4441
4564
464
472
4817
4920
95.78% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount3
totalSentences111
matches
0"was fired"
1"been derailed"
2"were written"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount1
totalVerbs269
matches
0"was resting"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount14
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences14
totalSentences132
ratio0.106
matches
0"Behind the bar, Silas Blackwood moved with his usual deliberate economy, his left leg hitching slightly at every second step—a quiet reminder of a botched night in Prague thirty years past."
1"He wore a charcoal-grey tailored overcoat that practically screamed money and intent—the kind of coat that didn't belong in a dive that smelled of old wood and floor polish."
2"The voice carried the smooth, rounded vowels of the South Wales upper middle class—the sound of Cathays Park lecture halls, of Sunday lunches in the Vale of Glamorgan, of a life she had buried under three years of London exhaust and grease-stained takeout boxes from Golden Empress."
3"Her voice was flat, level—the cool, measured tone she had spent three years perfecting so no one would ever hear the tremor beneath it."
4"He didn't say a word, but the shift in his posture was immediate—the quiet authority of a man who had spent a lifetime reading room dynamics before the first shot was fired."
5"Rory’s left hand was resting on the bar, her thumb unconsciously rubbing the small, crescent-shaped scar on her wrist—a souvenir from a broken glass framed in a garden bed when she was eight years old."
6"Rory looked at Julian—really looked at him."
7"The distance between them wasn't just three years or two hundred miles of motorway; it was an ocean of violent, invisible history that Julian couldn't see and Rory had no desire to explain."
8"Rory let out a single, sharp breath through her nose—not quite a laugh, but close enough to hurt."
9"The weight of time sat heavily between them—not as a bridge, but as a wall."
10"For a fraction of a second, her composure cracked—just enough for a flash of dark, terrible grief to show in her bright blue eyes."
11"\"You missed the girl who used to sit in the law library,\" Rory said gently, and for the first time, her voice carried a trace of tenderness—a eulogy for a person who no longer existed."
12"He looked at her one last time, waiting for something—a sign, an apology, a crack in the armor—but Rory just sat there, small and self-contained, watching the rain against the glass."
13"A faint, slow nod passed between them—an unspoken understanding forged in the dark spaces of the world where people had to die a little just to keep breathing."
94.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1701
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"small, crescent-shaped scar"
adverbCount52
adverbRatio0.030570252792475015
lyAdverbCount22
lyAdverbRatio0.012933568489124045
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences132
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences132
mean15.67
std10.76
cv0.687
sampleLengths
023
117
231
335
419
520
614
732
819
910
1029
1125
1210
132
1411
1516
161
1747
183
192
2014
2127
2211
2315
244
254
2624
275
2819
2912
3032
316
3211
3338
345
353
3621
3727
3811
3916
406
4118
4219
438
4426
4553
4617
472
4828
4914
45.45% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats15
diversityRatio0.3409090909090909
totalSentences132
uniqueOpeners45
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount3
totalSentences100
matches
0"Then his gaze drifted toward"
1"Then, with a faint nod,"
2"Then the shutters came back"
ratio0.03
52.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount42
totalSentences100
matches
0"His hazel eyes swept the"
1"Her shoulder-length black hair was"
2"She traced the lip of"
3"He wore a charcoal-grey tailored"
4"He paused on the mat,"
5"She knew the slope of"
6"It was Julian."
7"He took two steps forward,"
8"He looked older, broader in"
9"He stopped three feet away,"
10"Her voice was flat, level—the"
11"His right hand, anchored by"
12"His hazel eyes flicked from"
13"He didn't say a word,"
14"He pulled off his leather"
15"He caught himself, glancing around"
16"She lifted her glass, took"
17"His gaze remained locked on"
18"His tone carried a mix"
19"He looked down at her"
ratio0.42
5.00% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount91
totalSentences100
matches
0"The green neon sign outside"
1"His hazel eyes swept the"
2"Rory sat at the far"
3"Her shoulder-length black hair was"
4"She traced the lip of"
5"A burst of November chill"
6"A man stepped inside, shaking"
7"He wore a charcoal-grey tailored"
8"He paused on the mat,"
9"Rory didn't move, but every"
10"She knew the slope of"
11"The voice carried the smooth,"
12"It was Julian."
13"He took two steps forward,"
14"He looked older, broader in"
15"He stopped three feet away,"
16"Julian said, his voice dropping"
17"Her voice was flat, level—the"
18"His right hand, anchored by"
19"His hazel eyes flicked from"
ratio0.91
0.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount0
totalSentences100
matches(empty)
ratio0
67.10% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences66
technicalSentenceCount7
matches
0"He wore a charcoal-grey tailored overcoat that practically screamed money and intent—the kind of coat that didn't belong in a dive that smelled of old wood and …"
1"He paused on the mat, dark eyes scanning the interior with the practiced indifference of someone who had meant to enter a different bar entirely."
2"He didn't say a word, but the shift in his posture was immediate—the quiet authority of a man who had spent a lifetime reading room dynamics before the first sh…"
3"The formidable Irish barrister who could dismantle a witness with a lowered eyebrow, but who hadn't noticed the bruises under his daughter's sleeves until she h…"
4"He stayed within arm's reach, wiping down a spot on the copper trim that didn't need wiping."
5"He had the healthy, slightly flush complexion of someone who slept eight hours a night, who ate at places with linen napkins, who believed that the law was a gr…"
6"He looked at her dark hair, her plain sweater, the guarded, watchful stance that had replaced the fiery, arrogant girl who used to dominate the moot court compe…"
67.31% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags26
uselessAdditionCount3
matches
0"Julian said, his voice dropping into a register of sheer, unvarnished disbelief"
1"Rory said, her voice dropping an octave"
2"Silas asked, his voice low and raspy"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags23
fancyCount2
fancyTags
0"Julian murmured (murmur)"
1"she corrected (correct)"
dialogueSentences47
tagDensity0.489
leniency0.979
rawRatio0.087
effectiveRatio0.085
76.9021%