Run: 2026-07-25-01KYD4VKCG667ZFECPJVD7N6Z5

Molly flipped through the party invitation with growing horror. "Bill, we're robbing a kid's birthday party." "Technically, we're liberating unattended gifts," Bill said, adjusting his ski mask. "There's a difference." "Liberating? The kid's name is Timmy and he's turning six." "Six years old, maximum security wrapping paper, probably has a guard dog." "The guard dog is a golden retriever named Sparky." "Even better. I've always wanted to rob a puppy." Molly stared at him. "You're not even trying to be serious." "Why would I be serious? We're stealing birthday presents from children. The absurdity writes itself." "These are children's presents. Toys, clothes, maybe some books." "Valuable items that don't belong to us. Perfect score." "What about the parents? Won't they notice?" "That's why we hit it during the piñata. Maximum chaos, minimum witnesses." "The piñata is a purple dinosaur." "See? Hostile environment. We need to move fast." Molly packed her duffel bag slowly. "Bill, maybe we should reconsider—" "Reconsider committing the perfect crime? Never." "What if there are other kids? What if they scream?" "That's what the candy bribes are for." "You brought candy?" "I'm a professional." "Since when do we rob children?" "Since we needed money for rent." "The rent was due last week." "And here I thought you were organized." "I panicked." "Panicked people make bad decisions, like robbing birthday parties." "But you're here." "Touché." Molly zipped her bag shut. "Okay, but if we get caught, I'm blaming everything on you." "Fair enough. You take the left side of the room, I'll handle the right. Meet in the middle for the big-ticket items." "The big-ticket items being...?" "Electronics, jewelry, anything sparkly." "For a six-year-old?" "Hey, don't judge Timmy's taste in gifts." "This feels wrong." "Molly, look at me. We're thieves. This is what we do. Today we just happen to be stealing from someone who hasn't learned to lock his presents yet." "That's actually kind of sad." "Don't get philosophical on me now. Stick to the plan." "The plan involves sneaking into a children's party and stealing all their presents." "Which we've been over. Liberation, not theft." Molly sighed. "Fine. But I want hazard pay." "For stealing from children?" "For dealing with your moral flexibility." "That'll cost extra." "You're impossible." "And you love it." "Unfortunately, yes." Bill checked his watch. "We've got twenty minutes before the piñata ceremony. Move out." "Wait, what's the piñata ceremony?" "It's when all the kids are distracted beating a dinosaur piñata with sticks. Perfect cover." "Oh good, because nothing says 'master criminal' like hiding behind a snack table." "Exactly. Now come on, Timmy's waiting to have his presents stolen." Molly groaned. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss our usual targets." "At least bank robberies have better security systems." "And fewer juice boxes."