Run: 2026-07-25-01KYD6RCEHMATBWYBXAP5VK7ZC

Molly spread the crumpled flyer across the hood of the getaway car, which was still missing its front bumper from the aquarium job. "Okay, so it's Timmy Henderson's seventh birthday. Saturday. Two PM. Bounce house, petting zoo, magician. And according to my source, every kid is bringing a present." Bill squinted at the flyer. It had a dinosaur on it wearing a party hat. "Your source being your six-year-old nephew again?" "He has excellent intel and he works for juice boxes. Focus. Last year Timmy got a new bike, a PlayStation, and apparently a live turtle. This year his mom posted on Facebook that he's getting a mountain of presents. A mountain, Bill." "So we're robbing a seven-year-old now? Molly, we have standards. Low standards, but standards. We said we'd never go below twelve." "We're not robbing Timmy. We're liberating surplus childhood joy from the capitalist birthday-industrial complex. And we need the cash. You remember the aquarium job?" "The penguin bit me and you dropped the pearls in the touch tank." "Exactly. We're broke. And this is easy money. Twenty kids, twenty presents. Even if half of them are books about kindness, that's like, ten video games." Bill sighed and leaned against the car. "Alright, what's the plan? Please tell me the plan isn't just walk in and take them." "Of course not. That's phase two. Phase one is infiltration." "Infiltration." "Yes. We pose as children's entertainers. I already got us costumes." "You got us costumes." "I got us costumes. You're Bippo the Clown and I'm Mrs. Sprinkles the Friendly Birthday Baker." "I am not being Bippo the Clown. I have a clown allergy. Emotionally. They terrify me, including myself in clown makeup." "Bill, you owe me. I didn't rat you out when you cried during Frozen." "Everybody cries during Frozen! The parents split up the snowman!" "Look, it's simple. We walk in, we distract them. You do balloon animals, I bring in the big empty cake box that is actually our present-collection receptacle. We say Timmy's mom asked us to keep all the presents safe in one place so the other kids don't get jealous." "Okay, that's actually not terrible." "Thank you. And then while they're singing happy birthday, we do the switch." "What switch?" "The old present switcheroo. We swap the real presents with our decoys." "What decoys?" "Potatoes. I wrapped twenty potatoes. Each one has a sincere handwritten note that says From The Universe, Learn Patience." "You're going to give a bunch of seven-year-olds potatoes?" "It's a root vegetable of learning. They'll be furious. But they'll be too busy fighting over cake to notice us leaving with a sack full of Legos." The wind picked up and blew the flyer off the car. Bill caught it. "And what if the magician recognizes us from the aquarium? That guy has a vendetta." "He's a children's party magician in the suburbs now, Bill. I think we've both hit rock bottom, but he's hit the basement under the rock bottom. He won't want trouble." Molly pulled the giant duffel bag of clown clothes out of the trunk. A red nose fell out and bounced into the gutter. "So? You in? One last score. Then we can finally afford to fix the bumper and retire to a life where we don't steal from children." Bill stared at the red nose, then at Molly, then back at the flyer. "I want the turtle if there's a turtle." "Deal. You can have the turtle. I get the PlayStation." "There is no PlayStation, that's the whole point of the presents!" "Details, Bill. Details. Now put on the wig, Bippo."