Run: 2026-09-01-01M1EMD4C4ZF47A2FEF0387W2J

Run Details

Duration:
1m 38s
Cost:
$0.011209
Provider:
Together

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The green neon sign above the entrance to The Raven’s Nest hummed like a dying insect, painting the doorway in a sickly emerald glow that seemed to pool at Aurora Carter’s ankles as she pushed through the door. She had not meant to come down. She lived above the bar, in the flat that smelled of damp plaster and Silas Blackwood’s lingering pipe tobacco, yet for three years she had kept to the stairs, avoiding the neon, avoiding the man behind the counter. Now, after a double shift at Yu-Fei Cheung’s Golden Empress restaurant, her delivery bag still heavy on one shoulder and smelling faintly of ginger and preserved plum, she stepped inside. The air inside was older than she remembered—thick with the scent of bourbon and old paper, of wood that had absorbed decades of conversation. The walls were covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs, ghosts of borders that no longer existed, and for a moment Aurora felt she had walked into a museum dedicated to a life she had once tried to build and then deliberately dismantled. Silas was there. He stood behind the oak bar, his left leg catching slightly on the brass rail as he shifted his weight, that mild limp from the botched operation in Prague more pronounced now in the dim light than it had been when she had first seen it years ago. His hair, once a richer auburn, was now threaded with silver, and his beard was trimmed to match, neat and austere, framing a jaw that looked like it had been carved from something harder than stone. The silver signet ring on his right hand caught the neon and flashed like a warning. He was fifty-eight now, older by nearly two decades than the man who had first met her at this same bar when she was twenty-two and trembling with the aftershock of leaving Evan. Silas turned. His eyes—hazel, still sharp, still capable of seeing through the lies people told themselves—fixed on her. For a long moment neither spoke. The bar was quiet except for the buzz of the green sign and the soft clink of a glass he was polishing in slow, deliberate circles. “You’re lost,” he said, though his voice was softer than she remembered, weighted with something she feared was recognition. “I live upstairs,” Aurora said. Her voice was cool, low, the way she had taught herself to sound when she needed to hide the tremor in her hands. She set her bag on the floor near the stool where she used to sit when she was still a girl from Cardiff with a pre-law brochure folded in her pocket. The delivery bag was marked with the Golden Empress logo, a red and gold dragon that reminded her of the only life she had managed to assemble since she had fled to London at Eva’s behest, leaving behind an abusive ex named Evan and a father who expected her to bend into the shape of his Irish barrister’s daughter. “I’m not lost.” He came around the bar slowly, leaving enough space for her to step back if she needed to, though she did not. He moved with quiet authority, the posture of a retired intelligence operative who had once carried himself like a blade and now carried himself like a sheath—still dangerous, but concealed. The limp in his left leg was visible only when he turned, a small betrayal of the old knee injury that had ended his field career. “Aurora,” he said, as if testing the weight of her name against the years that had passed. “You’ve been quiet.” “I’ve been working.” “That’s not an answer.” She looked at him. He had changed—of course he had. The grey-streaked auburn hair, the trimmed beard, the limp, the ring that seemed to hold some secret the way only his kind of secret could be held. But she had changed too. Her bright blue eyes were the same, perhaps sharper, more wary, scanning the room with the quick out-of-the-box thinking that had kept her alive, and her straight shoulder-length black hair was pulled back tightly, resisting the damp London air. Her left wrist was bare except for a small crescent-shaped scar that she knew he remembered, the one from a childhood accident he had once bandaged with a handkerchief when she had cried in this very room. “I came for a drink,” she lied. He reached behind the bar and pulled a glass. “You don’t drink.” “No,” she said. “Not tonight.” He set the glass down. The sound was sharp, like a button slammed shut. “You look tired, Rory.” The nickname—Rory—brought something loose in her chest, a key turning in a lock she thought she had rusted shut. She touched her wrist, the crescent scar, feeling its ridged edge against her palm, remembering how she had once believed that scars were the only honest things a body could show. “I’m not Rory anymore,” she said softly. “I don’t have time for her.” Silas’s face settled into something that was not quite disappointment but something older, more patient, the expression of a mentor who had watched too many of his people walk away and had never found the right words to keep them. He was a retired MI6 field agent who had survived Prague; he knew how to read silence, how to let it do the work of accusation. “You ran,” he said, not as accusation but as fact, flat and undeniable. “After Evan. You came here, you let me help you arrange things, and then you vanished back to Cardiff. You were supposed to stay. You were supposed to finish your pre-law at Cardiff University, not become a delivery girl for a restaurant in Soho.” Aurora’s jaw tightened. “You think I wanted your life? Your bar, your networks of contacts and hidden back rooms? I had an abusive ex and a father who spoke to me like I was property. I left because I had to survive. I fled because Eva told me to. I came to London because I had nowhere else to go.” “You left because you were afraid,” Silas said, and the words stung not because they were false but because they were true, carved into the bone of her. She stepped closer. The green neon flickered overhead, casting shadows that seemed to move like old memories. She noticed the maps—Cartagena, Vienna, Prague, a city she did not want to visit again even in memory. The black-and-white photographs lined the walls: faces of people Silas had once worked with, some dead, some ghosts, all of them holding secrets that had never been fully told. Behind him, the bookshelf looked ordinary, but she knew it was a door, a hidden back room accessible through wood and latch, used for clandestine meetings that had once felt like adventure to a girl who had mistaken danger for freedom. “I didn’t leave because of you,” she said. “I left because I had to survive. And I did. I work part-time for Yu-Fei Cheung. I live in a flat above this bar. I carry meals to strangers because it pays the rent and because I need to feel like I’m moving. I don’t have a plan. I don’t have a future that looks like law or politics or anything your world could claim. I have this.” She held out her left wrist, letting the crescent scar catch the green light. It was small, pale, the legacy of a childhood accident that had happened long before Evan, long before London, long before she had learned to hide. Silas looked at the scar. His eyes softened, just a fraction, then hardened again into the mask of a man who had been hurt too often to allow himself the luxury of tender feeling. “You think carrying it makes you stronger?” “I think carrying it makes me real.” He reached out—not to touch her wrist, but to rest his hand on the bar between them. His hand was older, marked with age and Prague and years of operating in the dark, the silver signet ring heavy and cold on his finger. “I opened this place as a front,” he said quietly, his voice lower now, as if he were speaking only to her, not to the empty room. “For contacts, for meetings, for people who needed to disappear. And I let you disappear into it. I should have followed you to Cardiff. I should have made you stay, made you face what he was doing to you, made you understand that leaving is not the same as escaping.” Aurora felt the weight of time in the room, thick and suffocating, pressing against her chest like a hand she could not remove. She had been twenty-two when she first walked into this bar, cool-headed and desperate, clinging to Silas because her father’s world felt like a cage and Eva had told her to run. She had been smart, intelligent, quick with out-of-the-box thinking, but she had been a child who thought running was the same as healing, who believed that if she changed her address she could change her fate. “I never changed,” she said fiercely. “I just learned that thinking my way out isn’t enough. I’m a delivery girl, Silas. I carry food for a restaurant because I need to feel like I’m moving forward, even if it’s just across Soho. I don’t have a plan. I don’t have a future. I have this flat above your bar and a scar on my wrist and a name I don’t use anymore.” “Name,” he said. “Aurora. Rory. Laila, Carter, Malphora. How many are you?” She touched her black hair, straight and shoulder-length, pulled back so tightly it ached at the temples. “Too many to count. I was born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister and a Welsh teacher. I fought to leave Pre-Law. I fled from Evan. I came to London. And now I stand here, carrying a bag of noodles, wondering if I have finally built a life or just a prison with a view of your green neon.” Silas’s limp seemed to ache as he shifted, leaning against the bar with a weariness that spoke of old injuries and older regrets. The hidden back room behind him was dark, silent, a reminder of the secrets he still kept, the network he still maintained, the life of clandestine meetings that had once seemed like salvation to a girl too young to know that salvation was usually a word people used when they were too tired to say the truth. “I have a meeting in there,” Silas said. “In an hour. It’s why I keep the bar open. But I wanted to see you first. I wanted to see if you were still—” He stopped. He reached into his pocket and withdrew something small, silver, familiar, and set it on the oak between them. Aurora recognized it. It was her old key to the flat above, the one she thought she had lost years ago when she had left in a hurry, when she had believed she would never return, when she had thought that distance was the same as disappearance. “You came back,” he said. “Not just to the bar. You came back to this.” She looked at the key. Her bright blue eyes burned, though she refused to let tears fall. The weight of time settled over her—not just the years since they had last spoken, but the years since she had been the girl in Cardiff, since she had fled, since she had decided that survival meant becoming invisible, a delivery person with a scar and a secret. “I didn’t come back for you,” she said, though her voice cracked. “I know,” Silas answered. He was quiet now, the way he had been in her earliest days in London, when she had slept in his spare room and he had made her tea and told her she was safe, that the world was dangerous but she did not have to face it alone. “But you’re here. And I would rather have you here, tired and changed and carrying your scars, than not have you at all. You have built something, Rory. It is not the life I would have chosen for you. But it is a life. And I see you in it—the cool head, the quick thinking, the refusal to break.” Aurora picked up the key. The metal was cold, older now, bent slightly from use, a physical reminder of how long she had been away. She slipped it into her pocket, near the crescent scar on her left wrist, feeling the two marks align like a private language only she could read. She looked at Silas—at his grey-streaked auburn hair, his trimmed beard, his slight limp, the silver signet ring that spoke of loyalty she had never fully understood, the quiet authority of a man who had spent his life in the shadows and had chosen, in the end, to stay in the light of a bar that was also a front for things he could not explain. “I should go,” she said. “You should,” he agreed. “But come back. Not just to visit. Come back and let me know who Rory is now. Because she’s still in there somewhere. I’ve seen her in the way you set down that bag. I’ve seen her in the way you touched your scar. I’ve seen her in the way you walked through this door with your head down but your eyes open.” Aurora turned toward the door. The green neon hummed behind her, a bright, unyielding light that had guided her back when she had not known she was lost. She pushed through the entrance, and the London air hit her like a new language—something she could learn if she was brave enough to speak it aloud, if she was willing to admit that running was not the same as ending, and that a man she had once needed more than she had admitted was still here, still waiting, still wearing the scars of his own long war. She did not look back. But she heard Silas say, quietly, to the empty bar with its old maps and black-and-white ghosts and hidden doorway, “Welcome home, Rory.” And she knew, with a certainty that ached like the old knee injury in her mentor’s leg, that she had not run away from him. She had only been running toward herself, and the journey was far from finished, heavy with time, heavy with regret, and finally, almost miraculously, heavy with the promise that someone had been waiting all along to see her become who she was meant to be.
created_at"2026-09-01T14:01:41.007Z" 9/1/2026, 2:01:41 PM
model"thinkingmachines/inkling-small-20260730"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency439
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time97553
tokens_prompt846
tokens_completion10316
native_tokens_prompt816
native_tokens_completion9001
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning6009
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
service_tier(null)
usage0.0112092
router(null)
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.19.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1788271301-Px1c6XSYF6aprBVvY6sH"
session_id(null)
preset_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1788271301-0XK72V8f1sYTqU4UlXOg"
upstream_id"9cbc2896-aws_ue1"
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"faa5ad38-86c9-427e-b1cb-99c43bc4827b"
is_byokfalse
latency48
model_permaslug"thinkingmachines/inkling-small-20260730"
provider_name"BaseTen"
status429
1
endpoint_id"0ed263b7-f746-4eb6-a14c-54f2e1cc2269"
id"9cbc2896-aws_ue1"
is_byokfalse
latency436
model_permaslug"thinkingmachines/inkling-small-20260730"
provider_name"Together"
status200
total_cost0.0112092
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Together"
response_cache_source_id(null)
data_region"global"
workspace_id"97e315e5-d303-487d-83c1-83180e8a13d4"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
50.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags20
adverbTagCount3
adverbTags
0"she said softly [softly]"
1"he said quietly [quietly]"
2"she said fiercely [fiercely]"
dialogueSentences40
tagDensity0.5
leniency1
rawRatio0.15
effectiveRatio0.15
83.78% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2466
totalAiIsmAdverbs8
found
0
adverb"deliberately"
count1
1
adverb"slightly"
count2
2
adverb"slowly"
count1
3
adverb"tightly"
count2
4
adverb"very"
count1
5
adverb"softly"
count1
highlights
0"deliberately"
1"slightly"
2"slowly"
3"tightly"
4"very"
5"softly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
75.67% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2466
totalAiIsms12
found
0
word"weight"
count4
1
word"scanning"
count1
2
word"silence"
count1
3
word"flickered"
count1
4
word"clandestine"
count2
5
word"reminder"
count2
6
word"familiar"
count1
highlights
0"weight"
1"scanning"
2"silence"
3"flickered"
4"clandestine"
5"reminder"
6"familiar"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells1
narrationSentences89
matches
0"y with regret"
46.55% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount6
narrationSentences89
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"tried to"
2"managed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences109
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen70
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2454
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions21
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
100.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions51
wordCount1836
uniqueNames19
maxNameDensity0.71
worstName"Silas"
maxWindowNameDensity1.5
worstWindowName"Silas"
discoveredNames
Raven1
Nest1
Aurora8
Carter1
Silas13
Blackwood1
Yu-Fei1
Cheung1
Golden2
Empress2
Prague4
Evan3
Cardiff2
London5
Eva2
Irish1
Rory1
Cartagena1
Vienna1
persons
0"Nest"
1"Aurora"
2"Carter"
3"Silas"
4"Blackwood"
5"Cheung"
6"Evan"
7"Eva"
8"Rory"
places
0"Raven"
1"Yu-Fei"
2"Prague"
3"Cardiff"
4"London"
5"Vienna"
globalScore1
windowScore1
0.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences63
glossingSentenceCount8
matches
0"glow that seemed to pool at Aurora Carter’s ankles as she pushed through the door"
1"looked like it had been carved from somet"
2"as if testing the weight of her name against the years that had passed"
3"ring that seemed to hold some secret the way only his kind of secret could be held"
4"not quite disappointment but something older, more patient, the expression of a mentor who had watched too many of his people walk away and had never found the right words to keep them"
5"shadows that seemed to move like old memories"
6"felt like adventure to a girl who had m"
7"felt like a cage and Eva had told her t"
37.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches4
per1kWords1.63
wordCount2454
matches
0"not quite disappointment but something older, more patient, the expression of a mentor wh"
1"not as accusation but as fact, flat"
2"not to touch her wrist, but to rest his hand on the bar between them"
3"not just the years since they had last spoken, but the years since she had been the girl in Cardiff, since she"
13.76% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount5
totalSentences109
matches
0"believed that scars"
1"know that salvation"
2"thought that distance"
3"decided that survival"
4"admit that running"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs45
mean54.53
std39.66
cv0.727
sampleLengths
0113
167
23
3133
450
519
6118
73
878
920
103
114
12118
137
1412
155
1618
1763
1866
1957
2060
2128
22105
2376
2440
2541
267
27120
2891
2972
3012
3176
3280
3354
3447
3515
3665
3712
38112
39118
405
4167
4296
4328
4470
93.44% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount3
totalSentences89
matches
0"was trimmed"
1"been carved"
2"was pulled"
3"was meant"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount3
totalVerbs313
matches
0"was polishing"
1"were speaking"
2"was willing"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount12
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences11
totalSentences109
ratio0.101
matches
0"The air inside was older than she remembered—thick with the scent of bourbon and old paper, of wood that had absorbed decades of conversation."
1"His eyes—hazel, still sharp, still capable of seeing through the lies people told themselves—fixed on her."
2"He moved with quiet authority, the posture of a retired intelligence operative who had once carried himself like a blade and now carried himself like a sheath—still dangerous, but concealed."
3"He had changed—of course he had."
4"The nickname—Rory—brought something loose in her chest, a key turning in a lock she thought she had rusted shut."
5"He was a retired MI6 field agent who had survived Prague; he knew how to read silence, how to let it do the work of accusation."
6"She noticed the maps—Cartagena, Vienna, Prague, a city she did not want to visit again even in memory."
7"He reached out—not to touch her wrist, but to rest his hand on the bar between them."
8"The weight of time settled over her—not just the years since they had last spoken, but the years since she had been the girl in Cardiff, since she had fled, since she had decided that survival meant becoming invisible, a delivery person with a scar and a secret."
9"She looked at Silas—at his grey-streaked auburn hair, his trimmed beard, his slight limp, the silver signet ring that spoke of loyalty she had never fully understood, the quiet authority of a man who had spent his life in the shadows and had chosen, in the end, to stay in the light of a bar that was also a front for things he could not explain."
10"She pushed through the entrance, and the London air hit her like a new language—something she could learn if she was brave enough to speak it aloud, if she was willing to admit that running was not the same as ending, and that a man she had once needed more than she had admitted was still here, still waiting, still wearing the scars of his own long war."
82.14% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1863
adjectiveStacks2
stackExamples
0"small crescent-shaped scar"
1"suffocating, pressing against her"
adverbCount87
adverbRatio0.04669887278582931
lyAdverbCount25
lyAdverbRatio0.013419216317767043
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences109
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences109
mean22.51
std18.37
cv0.816
sampleLengths
038
17
238
330
424
543
63
748
836
916
1033
112
1216
136
1426
1519
165
1723
1831
1959
203
2122
2230
2326
2417
253
263
274
284
296
3027
315
3239
3337
347
359
363
373
382
395
409
414
4219
4331
447
456
4640
4726
4813
4944
38.99% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats12
diversityRatio0.2018348623853211
totalSentences109
uniqueOpeners22
0.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount0
totalSentences77
matches(empty)
ratio0
0.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount45
totalSentences77
matches
0"She had not meant to"
1"She lived above the bar,"
2"He stood behind the oak"
3"His hair, once a richer"
4"He was fifty-eight now, older"
5"His eyes—hazel, still sharp, still"
6"he said, though his voice"
7"Her voice was cool, low,"
8"She set her bag on"
9"He came around the bar"
10"He moved with quiet authority,"
11"he said, as if testing"
12"She looked at him."
13"He had changed—of course he"
14"Her bright blue eyes were"
15"Her left wrist was bare"
16"He reached behind the bar"
17"He set the glass down."
18"She touched her wrist, the"
19"she said softly"
ratio0.584
0.00% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount71
totalSentences77
matches
0"The green neon sign above"
1"She had not meant to"
2"She lived above the bar,"
3"The air inside was older"
4"The walls were covered with"
5"Silas was there."
6"He stood behind the oak"
7"His hair, once a richer"
8"The silver signet ring on"
9"He was fifty-eight now, older"
10"His eyes—hazel, still sharp, still"
11"The bar was quiet except"
12"he said, though his voice"
13"Her voice was cool, low,"
14"She set her bag on"
15"The delivery bag was marked"
16"He came around the bar"
17"He moved with quiet authority,"
18"The limp in his left"
19"he said, as if testing"
ratio0.922
64.94% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount1
totalSentences77
matches
0"Now, after a double shift"
ratio0.013
0.00% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences51
technicalSentenceCount18
matches
0"The green neon sign above the entrance to The Raven’s Nest hummed like a dying insect, painting the doorway in a sickly emerald glow that seemed to pool at Auro…"
1"She lived above the bar, in the flat that smelled of damp plaster and Silas Blackwood’s lingering pipe tobacco, yet for three years she had kept to the stairs, …"
2"The air inside was older than she remembered—thick with the scent of bourbon and old paper, of wood that had absorbed decades of conversation."
3"His hair, once a richer auburn, was now threaded with silver, and his beard was trimmed to match, neat and austere, framing a jaw that looked like it had been c…"
4"He was fifty-eight now, older by nearly two decades than the man who had first met her at this same bar when she was twenty-two and trembling with the aftershoc…"
5"The delivery bag was marked with the Golden Empress logo, a red and gold dragon that reminded her of the only life she had managed to assemble since she had fle…"
6"The limp in his left leg was visible only when he turned, a small betrayal of the old knee injury that had ended his field career."
7"The grey-streaked auburn hair, the trimmed beard, the limp, the ring that seemed to hold some secret the way only his kind of secret could be held."
8"She touched her wrist, the crescent scar, feeling its ridged edge against her palm, remembering how she had once believed that scars were the only honest things…"
9"Silas’s face settled into something that was not quite disappointment but something older, more patient, the expression of a mentor who had watched too many of …"
10"The black-and-white photographs lined the walls: faces of people Silas had once worked with, some dead, some ghosts, all of them holding secrets that had never …"
11"Behind him, the bookshelf looked ordinary, but she knew it was a door, a hidden back room accessible through wood and latch, used for clandestine meetings that …"
12"It was small, pale, the legacy of a childhood accident that had happened long before Evan, long before London, long before she had learned to hide."
13"She had been smart, intelligent, quick with out-of-the-box thinking, but she had been a child who thought running was the same as healing, who believed that if …"
14"Silas’s limp seemed to ache as he shifted, leaning against the bar with a weariness that spoke of old injuries and older regrets."
15"The hidden back room behind him was dark, silent, a reminder of the secrets he still kept, the network he still maintained, the life of clandestine meetings tha…"
16"She looked at Silas—at his grey-streaked auburn hair, his trimmed beard, his slight limp, the silver signet ring that spoke of loyalty she had never fully under…"
17"The green neon hummed behind her, a bright, unyielding light that had guided her back when she had not known she was lost."
25.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags20
uselessAdditionCount4
matches
0"he said, though his voice was softer than she remembered, weighted with something she feared was recognition"
1"he said, as if testing the weight of her name against the years that had passed"
2"Silas said, and the words stung not because they were false but because they were true, carved into the bone of her"
3"she said, though her voice cracked"
75.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags19
fancyCount3
fancyTags
0"she lied (lie)"
1"he agreed (agree)"
2"she heard (hear)"
dialogueSentences40
tagDensity0.475
leniency0.95
rawRatio0.158
effectiveRatio0.15
62.8753%