Run: 2026-09-03-01M1K60TFCH1J75FRE71T7PP1A

The van stank of cold fries and pine air freshener. Across the street the Henderson house was a nightmare of streamers and screaming. A banner read HAPPY 6TH BIRTHDAY JAXON! A miserable clown twisted balloons on the lawn while inside a folding table buckled under a mountain of glittering presents. Molly lowered her binoculars. "Okay Billie, that's the vault. Twenty presents minimum, all for one six-year-old who already owns a tablet bigger than our TV," she said. "Are we really stealing from a kid's birthday party? Isn't that, like, morally bankrupt even for us?" Bill asked. "Morally bankrupt is stealing from orphans. This is stealing from Jaxon Henderson whose dad drives a Tesla with a vanity plate that says BLESSED. We're redistributing wealth," Molly said. "Redistributing to us?" Bill said. "Exactly. Trickle-up economics," Molly said. "What's the plan? We can't just kick in the door. There's parents. There's that clown. That clown has seen things," Bill said. "We go in undercover. You put on the clown costume I got," Molly said. "You got a clown costume? Where did you get a clown costume?" Bill asked. "Costume shop. Yesterday. It was fifty percent off because the previous owner died in it. Very authentic," Molly said. "I'm not wearing a dead man's clown suit to rob a bouncy castle," Bill said. "Fine, then you be the magician. But the clown suit is plan A, B, and C. You look great in polka dots," Molly said. "Okay, say I get in as the clown. Then what? I just grab presents while doing balloon animals?" Bill said. "No, you cause a distraction. The classic. You make a balloon giraffe so terrifying the children weep and flee. While every mom rushes to comfort them, I slip in through the side gate as the entertainment coordinator and load the presents into the gift bag," Molly said. "The giant sack that says TOTALLY NOT STOLEN PRESENTS?" Bill asked. "It says JAXON'S PARTY FAVORS. I had it embroidered. Classy," Molly said. "What if they ask for ID? Or balloon credentials?" Bill said. "You'll have credentials. I printed you a certificate from Clown College. You graduated magna cum loudly," Molly said. "And what about the parents? There are like ten of them in there fueled by juice boxes and rage," Bill said. "That's why you bring the emergency confetti cannon. You fire it, yell 'EVERYBODY LOOK, A PINATA!' and run," Molly said. The wind lifted the banner and the smell of cake drifted across the street making Bill's stomach growl. Inside, Jaxon's mother stacked presents while a toddler tried to eat wrapping paper. "Except for Jaxon," Bill said. "Jaxon will get over it. He'll learn early that life is disappointment. We're doing him a favor," Molly said. Bill stared at the house as the clown's balloon popped loudly and three children screamed in unison. "Fine. But if I have to wear the nose, you have to do the clown voice the whole time," Bill said. "Deal. Now put on the wig, Bozo. Let's go steal childhood," Molly said.