Run: 2026-09-03-01M1KAHA3V7MEHJMYZFBWTF2KW

Molly: "Okay, Bill, walk me through the birthday job again, slower, because last time you said 'bouncy castle diversion' I aged ten years." Bill: "Relax. It's a six-year-old's party. The toughest security is a magician who may or may not be drunk." Molly: "And forty parents hopped up on cake and small talk. We need a plan that doesn't end with a dad in a novelty apron tackling us." Bill: "That's why we go in as entertainers. I'm a clown, you're the face painter. We case the present table, wait for the piñata, then load the big gift bags into the stroller." Molly: "You want a stroller as a getaway vehicle?" Bill: "Nobody questions a man pushing a stroller full of wrapped boxes. I'll put a sleeping doll in it and everything." Molly: "A sleeping doll won't explain fifty pounds of Lego and a scooter hanging off the side." Bill: "So we cover it with a baby blanket. Done." Molly: "It's a garden party, Bill. We'll look like we're fleeing a baby shower." Bill: "Let me worry about optics. You worry about the cake room." Molly: "The cake room?" Bill: "That's where they'll move the presents after the first wave. You slip away during the happy birthday song and stack the loot by the side gate." Molly: "And if someone asks where I'm going?" Bill: "Tell them you're grabbing extra glitter. Your glitter case contains a foldable duffel." Molly: "This is already the dumbest thing we've ever done, and we once stole a taxidermy owl as our emotional support animal." Bill: "Which worked. Trust the process. The piñata moment is our window. Every adult watches a blindfolded kid swing at a paper unicorn." Molly: "Until the kid misses and hits you in the knees." Bill: "Clowns are built for knee injuries." Molly: "What if the birthday kid catches us? Do we say we're present inspectors?" Bill: "We say we're from the gift-wrapping association doing quality control. Parents believe anything if you hold a clipboard." Molly: "You don't have a clipboard." Bill: "I'll bring a clipboard. Clipboards are universal backstage passes." Molly: "Fine. But if the magician pulls a rabbit out of your hat, I'm leaving you." Bill: "There won't be a hat. The clown wig has more hiding spots." Molly: "You're going to shove a teddy bear in your wig?" Bill: "Cash envelopes go in the wig. Teddy bears go in the stroller." Molly: "We're monsters." Bill: "We're festive monsters. Now, what's the abort signal?" Molly: "If the birthday boy cries before the piñata, we abort. If any parent starts a group singalong, we abort. If someone offers me warm white wine and asks my star sign, I'm aborting." Bill: "You're too picky." Molly: "I'm a professional. Professionals don't eat questionable sausage rolls on a job." Bill: "That sausage roll helped me blend in." Molly: "You told the host you were the entertainment. The entertainment doesn't raid the buffet before the show." Bill: "Hunger doesn't respect the craft." Molly: "Just promise me you won't get attached to any of the children." Bill: "No promises. Last time I almost adopted a four-year-old because she offered me a sticker." Molly: "That's how we got banned from petting zoos." Bill: "The goat offered me a leaf. Same energy." Molly: "Tomorrow, two o'clock, Sunnyvale Community Garden. We get in, we wrap up, we get out before the cake." Bill: "Before the cake? Dessert is the emotional payoff of a heist." Molly: "You're not there for cake. You're there for presents." Bill: "Can't a man have both?" Molly: "We'll buy our own cake with the proceeds." Bill: "That's the most depressing thing you've ever said." Molly: "It's the most professional thing I've ever said." Bill: "Fine. But if there's a chocolate fountain, I'm not liable for what happens." Molly: "Duly noted. Now go practice folding yourself into a stroller." Bill: "I'll bring the baby blanket."