Run: 2026-09-03-01M1KRQQD6MERNGGAY5K2KYVVX

Molly spread the flyers across the kitchen table like she was planning a military campaign. Bill stood over her with a half-eaten bagel in one hand and a juice box in the other. "Okay so it's a seven year old's birthday party," Molly said. "Backyard, two o'clock on Saturday. The invite says bring a present and wear something green." Bill squinted at the picture. "That's a lot of balloons. That's a lot of supervision." "It's a children's party," Molly said. "Supervision is the point. Parents are distracted, kids are loud, presents sit in a pile unattended for forty minutes while they sing and eat cake. It's perfect." "Stealing from children is a new low even for us," Bill said. "We're not stealing from children," Molly said. "We're liberating gifts from the tyranny of wrapping paper. It's a service." Bill took a bite of bagel. "What are we liberating?" "The flyer says 'Rainbow's Seventh Birthday Bash.' Rainbow is the kid's name. The theme is dinosaurs. Every kid's bringing a dinosaur. Do you know how much a plush T-Rex costs on the resale market?" "Do you know how many parents will be crying when they open their purses and find their kid's gift gone?" Bill said. "That's why we go early," Molly said. "We don't take them when they're opened. We take them before the party starts. In and out during the set up." Bill put the juice box down. "You want to break into a house full of parents who are putting out goldfish crackers while their kids run around in dinosaur costumes?" "I want to waltz in through the back gate, grab the present table, and waltz out through the back gate," Molly said. "The back gate is never locked. Have you ever seen a back gate locked at a kids party? No. Because parents want easy access for the ice cream truck." "And then what? We just... carry a table full of presents out?" "We take a laundry basket," Molly said. "We wear matching green shirts so we look like staff. We say we're from the party supply company delivering extra plates. We wheel the basket in, swap it with the present pile, wheel it out. Thirty seconds." Bill stared at her. "You want to dress as party staff." "Bill, you love a costume," Molly said. "You once dressed as a mall Santa to steal ornaments." "That was a good job," Bill said. "I got warm." "This is better. It's quieter. No alarms. No laser beams. Just screaming children and a mother named Karen asking if we need help with the napkins." "Do we need a getaway car?" "We need a stroller," Molly said. "It's perfect cover. You push it, I load it. If anyone asks, we're just picking up my niece early. The stroller is green to match the theme." Bill tapped the flyer. "What if Rainbow is a real kid? What if he cries?" Molly picked up a crayon drawing taped to the invite. "He drew a dinosaur with no legs. He's a sweetheart. And look, his mom writes in the notes, 'Please no candy, he's got a cavity.' Mom's stressed. Mom won't notice a missing pile of presents until the presents are already missing." "And if she does?" "Then we blame the piñata," Molly said. "Kids always blame the piñata." Bill sighed and smiled despite himself. "Fine. But if a seven year old tackles me, you're explaining it to the police." "Deal," Molly said. "I'll bring the laundry basket. You bring the charm." "I have charm," Bill said. "I'm charming when I'm not stealing from kids." "You are charming when you are stealing from kids," Molly said. "That's why I keep you around."