Run: 2026-09-03-01M1KRTVHJKK24H91R9RKRH3RG

Molly spread the invitation across the kitchen table like it was a blueprint for a bank vault. The paper was glitter covered and read Timmy's 7th Birthday, No Adults Please. Bill was already wearing a paper plate on his head. Molly said, That says no adults please. That is not a suggestion, that is a direct order from a child who has already seen us on the neighborhood watch list. Bill said, Relax. I’m an adult. You’re the adult. Timmy is seven. We’re basically the same age emotionally. Molly said, You are sixty two. You cried at the Paw Patrol movie. Bill said, It was a sad episode. And anyway, the presents are the target. All of them. We walk in, we walk out with a car full of plastic dinosaurs and a juice box empire. Molly said, The plan is not walk in and walk out. The plan is get in without being asked who we are. How do you get past a mother with a clipboard and a kid with a birthday sword? Bill said, Costumes. We are clowns. Clowns are always welcome at children’s parties. Children love clowns. Mothers tolerate clowns for about forty minutes. Molly said, I am not wearing red pom poms. Bill said, Fine. You’re the party entertainer. I’m the magician who does the disappearing act with the gift table. Molly said, That is not a thing magicians do. Bill said, It will be. I have a large black bag. Very professional. Also very suspicious. Molly said, You brought a bag from the evidence locker again. Bill said, It was free. Listen, entrance is through the back garden at six thirty. The parents are doing a photo booth. Timmy is inside with three kids and a gluten free cake. We have a nine minute window before the candles. Molly said, Nine minutes to steal thirty presents. That is three presents a minute. That is physically impossible. Bill said, Then we don’t take them one by one. We take the table. Molly said, You want to lift the entire table. Bill said, I want to roll it. We have wheels. I borrowed a dolly from the hardware store. Molly said, Bill, that is theft from a hardware store. Bill said, That was step one. Also step two. Step three is we bribe the kids. Molly said, With what? Bill said, With candy. I have sour worms. Timmy has never had sour worms. He will let us do anything. Molly said, What if a parent asks for ID? Bill said, We say we’re from the Happy Fun Center. We have a flyer. I made it this morning. Molly said, That flyer says we specialize in balloon animals and minor larceny. Bill said, That’s fine. It’s decorative. Look, worst case we get caught and we tell them it’s a performance art piece about consumerism. Molly said, You know the police will not care about your performance art. Bill said, They will care about us leaving with a Barbie dream house. Come on. It’s easy money. It’s also very dumb. Which is our brand. Molly sighed and picked up the clown nose. Fine. But if a kid cries, you’re explaining it to his mom. Bill said, Deal. And if the mom cries, you’re explaining it to her.