Run: 2026-09-03-01M1KS23D5A8KWK42YXE4Z3CYB

Molly was sitting on the kitchen counter with a juice box and a blueprint of the Hendersons' backyard taped to the fridge. Bill was underneath the table trying to fit a clown wig over his face. "This is a children's party, Bill. The presents are going to be tiny plastic crap and glitter." "That's the point," Bill said, muffling his voice. "No alarms. No security. Just one distracted mom and a bunch of kids screaming about cake." Molly tapped the blueprint with a french fry. "Okay, so we go in at four. The invitation says four to six, princess tea party for Lily. Six year old. She's turning six." "Perfect. Peak sugar coma. They'll be in the living room doing crafts while the gifts sit in the pile by the Christmas tree. It's in the garage right now, I checked." "How did you check?" "I went to the block party last weekend. Mrs. Henderson is nice. She offered me a deviled egg." Molly sighed. "Bill, you cannot just wander into neighborhoods eating deviled eggs and call it reconnaissance." "I call it intelligence gathering. The presents are under the tree in the garage because the garage is heated and the house is too small. The back door is unlocked during parties so kids can go potty without tracking in glitter." "That's amazing." "It's a goldmine. Literally, if one of the parents bought a LeapPad." Molly slid off the counter. "What about the kids?" Bill pulled the wig off. "We dress as party entertainers. I got the unicorn costume from that storage unit job. You be the assistant." "Assistant to a unicorn." "Exactly. We walk in with a bag of balloons, we mingle, we find the present table, we swap." "Swap for what?" "For decoys. I made these." He held up a handful of brown paper bags filled with crumpled paper and rubber bands. "Looks like presents from a distance. The kids won't notice for at least twenty minutes." Molly stared at him. "And if they do?" "Then we start singing 'Baby Shark' very loudly and cause a distraction while we make a break for the gate." "We're stealing from six year olds, Bill." "We're redistributing wealth. Also, think of the resale value on a Build-A-Bear." "The mom is going to notice twelve presents are missing." "She's going to notice twelve presents are missing when the kids open them and find a bag of air and a rubber band. By then we're three blocks away in the van with the air freshener." Molly picked up the unicorn horn. "This is ridiculous." "It's professional. I got a name tag printer." She laughed despite herself. "Okay. Four o'clock. Unicorn and assistant. And if you touch the cake I'm telling everyone you tried to eat the deviled eggs cold." "Deal. Now help me with this wig. It itches." "It itches because it's made of cheap polyester and bad decisions." "Same thing."