Run: 2026-09-03-01M1M283JEPNTH210HR615D9Q0

Run Details

Duration:
4m 18s
Cost:
$0.039542
Provider:
Tencent

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The green neon raven above the door buzzed like a trapped insect, its glow smearing across the wet pavement of Soho. Aurora Carter paused on the threshold, one hand on the brass handle, the other gripping the strap of a black insulated bag stamped with the gold characters of Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress. Rain slid from the ends of her straight shoulder-length black hair and ran cold beneath the collar of her jacket. She had lived in the flat above this bar for two weeks, slipping in and out through the side entrance like a ghost, but tonight she had come through the front. She told herself it was the whiskey she wanted. The truth was the green sign had burned in her window every night, and she had finally run out of reasons to stay away. She pushed inside. The air was thick with lemon oil, old paper, and hops. The Raven's Nest was dimly lit, the kind of dark that felt chosen rather than neglected. Old maps covered the walls—London during the Blitz, ordnance surveys of coastlines she didn't recognize, a faded chart of the Prague underground—interspersed with black-and-white photographs of men in trench coats on foggy street corners, their faces half-turned from the camera as if they already knew they were being watched. To the left of the bar, a bookshelf stood crammed with ledgers and travel-worn atlases. One volume near the base jutted a fraction out of line, and a thin draught stirred the hair at Aurora's temple. A hidden room. She didn't need to be told. Her cool-headed mind catalogued it automatically: exit, concealment, the faint smell of machine oil beneath the lemon polish. A figure stood behind the counter with his back to her, reaching for a glass on a high shelf. He moved with a slight hitch in his left leg, a hesitation before the weight settled. He set the tumbler down, and the silver signet ring on his right hand caught the low light. Then he turned. Aurora stopped breathing. He was fifty-eight years old, but time had not been gentle. Grey streaked the auburn of his hair, and the neatly trimmed beard that matched it framed a face leaner than she remembered, the lines around his mouth etched deeper. Hazel eyes—the same impossible hazel, green and gold and ancient—met hers across the room. He stilled, the glass halfway to the shelf. "Aurora?" he said. Her name in his mouth was exactly as she remembered, roughened by smoke and some old hurt she had never been able to name. "Si." The word came out smaller than she intended. She hadn't called him that in five years, not since the last time they'd stood in a Cardiff coffee shop and said things neither of them could take back. "It's you." "Last time I checked." A thin smile touched his mouth, but his eyes were already doing that old trick—reading her, peeling back layers she'd spent years gluing shut. He came around the bar, and she saw the limp clearly now, the way he favored the left leg on the flagstones. Six-foot-one of him, stooped slightly, moving like a man negotiating with an old injury. She had to tilt her head to meet his gaze. At five-foot-six, she'd always had to look up at him, but tonight the distance felt like miles. She remembered the last time she'd seen him walk without that hitch. He had been fifty-three, vital and clean-shaven, his hair the colour of polished conkers, moving with the coiled ease of a man who trusted his body to obey him. Then Prague had happened. She'd heard the terse headline from her father: *botched operation, agents lost.* Her father, Brendan, had said the name Silas Blackwood like a curse and a prayer all at once. "You're limping," she said, hating the bluntness of it. "Prague," he agreed, as if the word explained everything. He gestured to a stool. "Sit. You look like you've seen a ghost." "I have." She slid onto the stool, setting the Golden Empress bag at her feet. "You're the last person I expected to find behind this bar." He poured two fingers of whiskey into a clean tumbler and pushed it toward her without asking. The ring on his right hand tapped the glass. "I could say the same about you. Eva said a friend needed the flat upstairs. She didn't mention a name. I swear to you, Rory, if I'd known it was you—" "You'd have run a mile?" Her laugh was ugly, scraped raw. She reached for the whiskey, and her left wrist caught the light—the small crescent-shaped scar there, pale against her skin. A childhood accident, a broken greenhouse pane when she was nine. She'd had it for sixteen years. He had once traced it with his thumb and told her scars were just maps of where we'd been. The memory of it burned, and she jerked her hand back, covering the scar with her right palm before she could stop herself. He saw the gesture. His gaze snagged on her wrist, then lifted to her face. "You still have it." "It doesn't fade." "No," he said quietly. "Some things don't." He leaned on the bar, the quiet authority of him settling over the hollow space between them like a held breath. The Spymaster, they called him in certain Soho pubs. But to her he had always been just Si, the man who taught her to notice exits and read a lie in the set of a man's shoulders. "Eva didn't tell me either," Aurora said, staring into her glass. The ice clicked against the sides. "She said the landlord was an old friend of the family. I should have guessed. Who else owns a bar that looks like a spy's idea of a pub?" That got a real smile, brief and tired. "The Raven's Nest. It's a front, of course." He touched the signet ring to the rim of his glass. "But you already noticed the bookshelf." "Hard not to." She jerked her chin toward the back. "The draught's a giveaway. And it's the only shelf in the room with no dust on the floorboards in front of it." He inclined his head, approval flickering in those hazel eyes. Still noticing the exits. The words hung between them, unspoken but understood. "How's Brendan?" he asked, steering the conversation into safer waters that were not safe at all. "Still at the Bar?" "Dad's still arguing cases. Mum's still teaching Year Six." She took a swallow of whiskey; it burned a welcome path down her throat. "They think I'm doing a postgrad." "And you're not." "No." She met his gaze and refused to flinch. "I'm delivering food for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress. Six nights a week. I know every back-alley entrance between Soho and Chinatown. Turns out that's useful, knowing the exits." She threw his old lesson back at him, a challenge and a confession all at once. His face didn't change, but something in his eyes went soft and dangerous. He had heard the deflection. He had always heard everything. "And Evan?" The name landed like a stone in the quiet bar. Aurora looked away, out at the green neon smear on the rain-streaked window. The street beyond was empty; she had checked twice, the way she always did now, the way she had learned to do in the last year of a relationship that had started with charm and ended with her running through a train station with a bag she'd packed in the dark. "I left him," she said. Three weeks, four days. Not that she was counting. "That's why I'm in London. Eva got me out. She made the calls, found the flat, put me on a coach. She didn't tell me it was yours, and she didn't tell you it was me. She wanted this." Aurora gestured between them, at the dust and the maps and the five years of silence. "She wanted us to run into each other." "She's a clever woman," Silas said. "She always was." "Evan hurt me." Aurora hadn't meant to say it aloud. The words were flat, stripped of everything. She didn't elaborate. She didn't have to. Silas had spent a lifetime reading the truth in a room; he read it now in the way her shoulders curled inward, the way her right hand stayed clamped over the scar on her left wrist as if bracing for a blow that had already landed years ago. "I didn't call you." Her voice was thin. "After everything—after you taught me how to read a room, how to spot the lie, how to think outside the box—I walked right into the worst kind of trap and stayed for years. I couldn't bear for you to see that. I was ashamed." Silas was quiet for a long moment. She watched his thumb worry the silver signet ring, a nervous habit he'd never quite lost, the way other men reached for a cigarette. "After Prague," he said finally, "I wasn't fit company for anyone. I lost good people. Two of them didn't come home." His hazel eyes were fixed on some middle distance, on a map of a city she'd never seen, on ghosts she couldn't touch. "The operation was botched. My knee was the least of it. I thought it was kinder to disappear. I told myself you were better off without me, that you had your father's courtrooms and your mother's stubbornness and a whole bright future ahead. That was my regret, Rory. Not the limp. Not the grey hair. The silence." "We were both silent." "Aye." He leaned forward, the scent of whiskey and old paper and rain clinging to him. "We were fools." She looked at him then, really looked, and the weight of the years pressed down on her until she thought the stool might buckle. He had changed; the man she'd known would have walked into a room and owned it without a word, all coiled energy and easy charm. This Silas watched and waited, a spider at the centre of a web of maps and photographs, his body a map of everything he had survived. But his eyes were the same. And she—she was not the girl who had argued jurisprudence with him in Cardiff, who had reluctantly pursued pre-law just to please her parents and secretly dreamed of putting the world to rights. That girl was gone. She had been worn down by a man who had used her own cleverness against her, who had made her doubt the exits until she'd forgotten how to look for them. Aurora Carter had changed significantly; she was someone harder now, someone who checked the locks twice and flinched at raised voices and delivered Chinese food through the rain to keep a roof over her head. She had become a stranger to herself, and she knew he saw it. "I'm not the person you remember," she said. "No," he agreed, and there was no pity in it, only a terrible, quiet understanding. "You're someone who survived him. That's not nothing." "Is it enough?" "It's a start." He reached across the bar then, and for a dizzying second she thought he might touch the scar on her wrist, but he only covered her hand with his own. The silver ring was warm against her knuckles, solid and real. "You're safe here. This bar has ears, aye, but it has walls too. No one gets to you without going through me. Do you understand?" She did. She thought of the hidden room behind the bookshelf, of the men in the photographs, of the old spy who still wore his signet ring like armour and limped toward a danger he would never fully name. She thought of the flat above, the one she had crept into every night for two weeks, not knowing he was down here, and the awful symmetry of it: the girl who had learned to notice exits sleeping above a room full of secrets, and the man who had taught her hiding in plain sight. "Okay," she said. He released her hand and straightened, the movement slow. "Go on up. Get some sleep. Delivery's a hard business." She slid off the stool and slung the empty Golden Empress bag over her shoulder. At the door to the stairwell that led to her flat, she paused and looked back. He was wiping the bar with a slow, circular motion, the limp hidden by the counter, his posture straightening as he sensed her gaze. Outside, the green neon raven buzzed and flickered, painting the old maps in sickly light. The bookshelf stood silent, the hidden door behind it waiting. "It's good to see you, Si," she said. He looked up, hazel eyes bright in the dim, the ghost of the man he'd been flickering behind the grey and the injury. "You too, Rory. You too." She climbed the stairs, and behind her, soft as a held breath, the secret door behind the bookshelf clicked shut.
created_at"2026-09-03T16:39:48.566Z" 9/3/2026, 4:39:48 PM
model"tencent/hy4-preview-20260827"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1282
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time258096
tokens_prompt846
tokens_completion16484
native_tokens_prompt833
native_tokens_completion15776
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning12958
native_tokens_cached768
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
service_tier(null)
usage0.039542242
router(null)
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.19.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1788453588-ODyYC9Aq0TnyuOMwwLcZ"
session_id(null)
preset_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1788453588-oMWLVaayULNSaZIknmwS"
upstream_id"964dc209-c054-465b-bb66-8b38813578c1"
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"ad2a4093-3d2a-41d9-adf1-8b499ac8445d"
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is_byokfalse
latency1281
model_permaslug"tencent/hy4-preview-20260827"
provider_name"Tencent"
status200
total_cost0.039542242
cache_discount0.000608256
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Tencent"
response_cache_source_id(null)
data_region"global"
workspace_id"97e315e5-d303-487d-83c1-83180e8a13d4"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags25
adverbTagCount2
adverbTags
0"he said quietly [quietly]"
1"he said finally [finally]"
dialogueSentences52
tagDensity0.481
leniency0.962
rawRatio0.08
effectiveRatio0.077
93.14% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2187
totalAiIsmAdverbs3
found
0
adverb"slightly"
count1
1
adverb"really"
count1
2
adverb"reluctantly"
count1
highlights
0"slightly"
1"really"
2"reluctantly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
77.14% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2187
totalAiIsms10
found
0
word"weight"
count2
1
word"etched"
count1
2
word"traced"
count1
3
word"unspoken"
count1
4
word"charm"
count2
5
word"silence"
count2
6
word"flickered"
count1
highlights
0"weight"
1"etched"
2"traced"
3"unspoken"
4"charm"
5"silence"
6"flickered"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches1
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"air was thick with"
count1
highlights
0"The air was thick with"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences114
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount0
narrationSentences114
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches(empty)
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences139
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen57
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans1
markdownWords4
totalWords2178
ratio0.002
matches
0"botched operation, agents lost."
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions27
unquotedAttributions1
matches
0"The Spymaster, they called him in certain Soho pubs."
100.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions39
wordCount1712
uniqueNames20
maxNameDensity0.47
worstName"Aurora"
maxWindowNameDensity2
worstWindowName"Silas"
discoveredNames
Soho2
Carter2
Yu-Fei1
Cheung1
Golden3
Empress3
Raven1
Nest1
London1
Blitz1
Prague2
Aurora8
Cardiff2
Brendan1
Silas5
Blackwood1
Spymaster1
Si1
Three1
Chinese1
persons
0"Carter"
1"Yu-Fei"
2"Cheung"
3"Raven"
4"Aurora"
5"Brendan"
6"Silas"
7"Blackwood"
places
0"Soho"
1"London"
2"Prague"
3"Cardiff"
globalScore1
windowScore1
94.44% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences90
glossingSentenceCount2
matches
0"felt like miles"
1"as if bracing for a blow that had already landed years ago"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches0
per1kWords0
wordCount2178
matches(empty)
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount0
totalSentences139
matches(empty)
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs50
mean43.56
std40.99
cv0.941
sampleLengths
0137
13
2139
356
43
562
63
724
840
991
1075
119
1222
1326
1457
1590
1619
173
187
1958
2046
2133
2232
2322
2420
2529
263
2753
2825
2974
3077
319
3272
3352
3431
35101
364
3719
38197
398
4023
413
4269
4394
443
4519
4680
478
4828
4920
96.03% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount3
totalSentences114
matches
0"were fixed"
1"was gone"
2"been worn"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount4
totalVerbs280
matches
0"were being"
1"were already doing"
2"was counting"
3"was wiping"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount7
semicolonCount5
flaggedSentences10
totalSentences139
ratio0.072
matches
0"Old maps covered the walls—London during the Blitz, ordnance surveys of coastlines she didn't recognize, a faded chart of the Prague underground—interspersed with black-and-white photographs of men in trench coats on foggy street corners, their faces half-turned from the camera as if they already knew they were being watched."
1"Hazel eyes—the same impossible hazel, green and gold and ancient—met hers across the room."
2"\"Last time I checked.\" A thin smile touched his mouth, but his eyes were already doing that old trick—reading her, peeling back layers she'd spent years gluing shut."
3"She reached for the whiskey, and her left wrist caught the light—the small crescent-shaped scar there, pale against her skin."
4"\"Dad's still arguing cases. Mum's still teaching Year Six.\" She took a swallow of whiskey; it burned a welcome path down her throat."
5"The street beyond was empty; she had checked twice, the way she always did now, the way she had learned to do in the last year of a relationship that had started with charm and ended with her running through a train station with a bag she'd packed in the dark."
6"Silas had spent a lifetime reading the truth in a room; he read it now in the way her shoulders curled inward, the way her right hand stayed clamped over the scar on her left wrist as if bracing for a blow that had already landed years ago."
7"He had changed; the man she'd known would have walked into a room and owned it without a word, all coiled energy and easy charm."
8"And she—she was not the girl who had argued jurisprudence with him in Cardiff, who had reluctantly pursued pre-law just to please her parents and secretly dreamed of putting the world to rights."
9"Aurora Carter had changed significantly; she was someone harder now, someone who checked the locks twice and flinched at raised voices and delivered Chinese food through the rain to keep a roof over her head."
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1735
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount55
adverbRatio0.03170028818443804
lyAdverbCount18
lyAdverbRatio0.01037463976945245
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences139
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences139
mean15.67
std12.61
cv0.805
sampleLengths
021
132
220
331
49
524
63
711
816
949
1015
1121
123
136
1418
1519
1616
1718
183
193
2011
2129
2214
238
243
2524
269
2729
282
2928
3022
3114
3210
3317
3412
3529
364
3730
389
399
405
418
4215
4311
4417
459
4631
4711
4820
4911
48.68% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats9
diversityRatio0.33093525179856115
totalSentences139
uniqueOpeners46
93.46% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount3
totalSentences107
matches
0"Then he turned."
1"Then Prague had happened."
2"Still noticing the exits."
ratio0.028
3.18% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount58
totalSentences107
matches
0"She had lived in the"
1"She told herself it was"
2"She pushed inside."
3"She didn't need to be"
4"Her cool-headed mind catalogued it"
5"He moved with a slight"
6"He set the tumbler down,"
7"He was fifty-eight years old,"
8"He stilled, the glass halfway"
9"Her name in his mouth"
10"She hadn't called him that"
11"He came around the bar,"
12"She had to tilt her"
13"She remembered the last time"
14"He had been fifty-three, vital"
15"She'd heard the terse headline"
16"she said, hating the bluntness"
17"he agreed, as if the"
18"He gestured to a stool."
19"She slid onto the stool,"
ratio0.542
34.77% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount91
totalSentences107
matches
0"The green neon raven above"
1"Aurora Carter paused on the"
2"Rain slid from the ends"
3"She had lived in the"
4"She told herself it was"
5"The truth was the green"
6"She pushed inside."
7"The air was thick with"
8"The Raven's Nest was dimly"
9"A hidden room."
10"She didn't need to be"
11"Her cool-headed mind catalogued it"
12"A figure stood behind the"
13"He moved with a slight"
14"He set the tumbler down,"
15"Aurora stopped breathing."
16"He was fifty-eight years old,"
17"Hazel eyes—the same impossible hazel,"
18"He stilled, the glass halfway"
19"Her name in his mouth"
ratio0.85
46.73% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount1
totalSentences107
matches
0"To the left of the"
ratio0.009
19.70% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences58
technicalSentenceCount10
matches
0"Old maps covered the walls—London during the Blitz, ordnance surveys of coastlines she didn't recognize, a faded chart of the Prague underground—interspersed wi…"
1"Grey streaked the auburn of his hair, and the neatly trimmed beard that matched it framed a face leaner than she remembered, the lines around his mouth etched d…"
2"He had been fifty-three, vital and clean-shaven, his hair the colour of polished conkers, moving with the coiled ease of a man who trusted his body to obey him."
3"The street beyond was empty; she had checked twice, the way she always did now, the way she had learned to do in the last year of a relationship that had starte…"
4"Silas had spent a lifetime reading the truth in a room; he read it now in the way her shoulders curled inward, the way her right hand stayed clamped over the sc…"
5"And she—she was not the girl who had argued jurisprudence with him in Cardiff, who had reluctantly pursued pre-law just to please her parents and secretly dream…"
6"She had been worn down by a man who had used her own cleverness against her, who had made her doubt the exits until she'd forgotten how to look for them."
7"Aurora Carter had changed significantly; she was someone harder now, someone who checked the locks twice and flinched at raised voices and delivered Chinese foo…"
8"She thought of the flat above, the one she had crept into every night for two weeks, not knowing he was down here, and the awful symmetry of it: the girl who ha…"
9"He was wiping the bar with a slow, circular motion, the limp hidden by the counter, his posture straightening as he sensed her gaze."
85.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags25
uselessAdditionCount2
matches
0"A thin smile touched, but his eyes were already doing that old trick—reading her, peeling back layers she'd spent years gluing shut"
1"he agreed, as if the word explained everything"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags13
fancyCount2
fancyTags
0"he agreed (agree)"
1"he agreed (agree)"
dialogueSentences52
tagDensity0.25
leniency0.5
rawRatio0.154
effectiveRatio0.077
83.0756%