Run: 2026-09-10-01M25DHQ5G426G3FFD2GV6W6DS

Molly lowered the binoculars and watched a backyard erupt into tiny, screaming monsters. A bouncy castle wheezed like a dying accordion. Bill sat in the driver's seat of a dented ice cream van, eating a stolen cupcake and judging the clown. "That's a lot of kids," Bill said. "And one clown. I hate clowns." Molly said, "Focus. The presents are on the picnic table. Unattended. We go in as party entertainers." "Entertainers? I can do a magic trick. I make a wallet disappear." "Not your wallet, Bill. Their presents." They studied the layout. Molly wore a fairy costume. Bill wore a pirate outfit with a peg leg fashioned from a plunger. The plan was simple: Molly would distract with balloon animals, Bill would load the gifts into a fake birthday cake, and they would escape before anyone noticed the cake had a scooter-shaped bulge. "Wait," Bill said. "Are we stealing from children?" "Yes." "On a Sunday?" "It's a heist, not a church service." A child ran past holding a wrapped box. Bill flinched. "New problem. The clown knows I owe him twenty bucks." "That's not a new problem. That's a you problem." They synchronized watches. Bill's was a toy with a dinosaur. Molly's was a phone with a cracked screen. Molly whispered the revised plan: glitter at the piñata, grab the goods, no crying. Bill nodded, then checked his plunger leg. They moved. Molly entered the yard waving a wand and shouting about magic. Bill lurched behind her, cake box over his head. Kids swarmed. A boy in a cape demanded a balloon sword. Molly made one. The boy stabbed her. She stumbled but kept smiling. Bill reached the picnic table. He swept up a teddy bear, a Lego set, and something that beeped ominously. A small girl in a tiara blocked him. "Are you the present inspector?" Bill froze. "Yes. Very official. I must inspect this cake." "That's not a cake. That's a box." "Exactly. Cake inspection is very complicated." Molly saw the clown approaching. She launched glitter. The clown screamed. Kids cheered. "Bill, now!" Bill shoved presents into the box. A scooter refused to fit. He folded it emotionally and physically. Then the piñata burst. Candy rained. In the chaos, they retreated to the van. They sped away. Bill panted. "We did it. We stole from a six-year-old." Molly opened the box. Inside: a teddy bear, a Lego set, and a beeping toddler toy. No wallets. No jewels. No cash. Bill said, "This is worthless." Molly sighed. "Unless you're a six-year-old." "Then we're rich in spirit." "That's not a retirement plan." Bill looked at the beeping toy. "Can we return it?" "No. The clown knows you." Bill said, "Do you think the clown saw us?" Molly said, "He saw everything. He's a clown." Bill said, "That's ominous." Molly said, "That's Tuesday." They drove off. Behind them, a tiny voice yelled that the present inspector forgot to inspect the cake. The van's engine coughed. Somewhere behind them, a kazoo played a funeral march.