Run: 2026-09-10-01M25DXH9VXMS5H7ES95M8BTV1

Bill and Molly sat in his mother’s minivan outside a pink house. A bouncy castle wheezed on the lawn. Inside, thirty children screamed at a magician while parents filmed. A clown balloon sagged from the mailbox. Bill drummed the dashboard. “Remind me why we’re robbing a six-year-old’s party instead of a bank?” Molly checked her lipstick in the rearview mirror. “Banks have guards. Parties have cake and distracted parents.” “We’re risking prison for party bags.” “Not just party bags. Presents. Unopened. Unregistered.” “Right. We hit the pile during the magic show.” Molly unfolded a party flyer. The cover showed a smiling dinosaur. “New plan. We arrive as entertainment.” “Clowns?” “Balloon artists.” “I hate balloons. They pop like our alibi.” “Then we’re distant cousins. Uncle Bill and Aunt Molly. We bring a gift and case the pile.” Bill showed a tattoo of a skeleton holding a crowbar. “Blend in? With this?” “Wear a cardigan.” “Yours?” “It smells like mothballs and poor decisions. Perfect.” Molly zipped open a duffel bag labeled LIBRARY BOOKS. Bill wiped sweat from his forehead. A parent nearby took photos of the bouncy castle. Molly drew a diagram on a napkin. She circled the dining table in red ink. “Party starts at two. Presents go on the dining table. At two-fifteen, the magician starts. At two-twenty, we strike.” “At two-twenty, I’ll be comforting a kid who wet his pants during Pin the Tail on the Donkey.” Bill practiced a helpful smile. “Nobody suspects the guy holding a trash bag full of Legos either.” “We use gift bags. Presentation matters.” “Fine. We steal the presents, bag them, and walk out like helpful relatives.” “To your mother’s minivan. She’s picking up a sofa at three.” “Then we’re quick. In, out, no witnesses.” “Thirty witnesses. All under four feet tall and hopped up on frosting.” A pinata shaped like a unicorn swung from a tree. A toddler licked the minivan window. “Kids are unreliable. They’ll say a dinosaur did it.” “One kid saw me steal a cookie and called me a raccoon.” “See? Unreliable.” “And the parents?” “Phones. We’ll be fine.” “What about the birthday kid?” “We leave one present. The cheap one. For morale.” “What’s my job?” “Distract the magician. Pretend to be his assistant.” “He’ll know.” “Not if you say abracadabra with confidence.” Molly adjusted an imaginary bow tie. “I don’t have confidence. I have a hernia and a record.” Bill flexed his fingers. “Same energy. Exit through the kitchen.” “The kitchen has the cake.” “So we take the cake too.” “Bill, we’re not stealing the cake.” “Why not?” “Because that’s a monster move. Presents, yes. Cake, no.” “Fine. But if there’s ice cream, I’m not leaving it.” “Deal. Now let’s go buy a card.” “A card?” “We can’t show up empty-handed.” “We’re literally there to empty-hand them.” “Exactly. So we bring one tiny gift. Investment.” “I hate that you’re right.” “I hate that I’m right too. Let’s rob a toddler.” Bill started the minivan. The engine coughed like a smoker.