Run: 2026-09-10-01M25DXYPMSTX22G374BZQ5S4K

"Okay," Molly said, tapping the invitation. "Saturday, two o'clock, the Patterson house. Theme: princesses and pirates. Gift table by the cake. We go in, we blend, we leave with everything." Bill stared. "We're robbing a birthday party." "We're reallocating presents from a surplus celebration." "To us." "To our retirement fund. Do you want to eat beans out of a can again?" "I like beans." "You like beans because you don't know what truffle oil tastes like. Focus. Entry points?" "Front door. It's a party. Everyone's invited if they bring a kid." "We don't have a kid." "We borrow one." "Absolutely not. We are not borrowing a child like a library book." "Fine. We dress as entertainers. I'm a pirate magician. You're my assistant, Barnacle Betty." "I'm not being Barnacle Betty." "You were Barnacle Betty last time." "Last time I got punched by a clown. I still see the wig in my sleep." Molly sighed. "New plan. You're the balloon animal man. I'm the face painter. Parents love face painters. We get access to the gift table because I need a quiet corner." "Face painters don't need a quiet corner. They need faces." "Then I'll paint faces. Badly. On purpose. They'll be distracted by the horror." "That's your whole plan? Create a diversion with ugly butterflies?" "Ugly butterflies and a rogue balloon poodle. While I'm painting, you load the presents into the bouncy castle." Bill rubbed his temples. "The bouncy castle is full of children." "Exactly. No one suspects a bouncy castle of being a getaway vehicle." "It's not a vehicle. It's inflatable. It doesn't go anywhere." "It goes down. That's the escape. We wait until cake. Everyone sings. Sugar rush. Chaos. You cut the air valve. The castle deflates. Presents slide out the side. We catch them in a wheelbarrow." "A wheelbarrow? At a princess pirate party?" "Pirate theme. We'll say it's part of the treasure hunt." Bill leaned back. "What about the parents?" "Parents are tired. They're drinking lukewarm coffee and pretending to like each other. They won't notice us until the presents are gone." "And the kids?" "Kids are short. We are tall. It's a tactical advantage." "That's not a tactical advantage. That's just being tall." "Bill, do you want the diamond necklace that's probably in the princess box or not?" "How do you know there's a diamond necklace?" "There's always a diamond necklace. Aunt Linda. Every family has an Aunt Linda." "And if there isn't?" "Then we've got forty-five gift cards and a lot of Lego. We can fence Lego." "Lego is a controlled substance in some neighborhoods." "Exactly. Untraceable. Deliciously painful to step on." Bill stood. "Okay. But if I have to make one balloon poodle, I'm making it look like a crime scene." "That's the spirit. Now, do you remember how to drive a wheelbarrow?" "I remember how to run while pushing one." "Good. We'll need that." He paused. "Molly, are we bad people?" "We're entrepreneurs with a narrow moral aperture. Bring the fake mustache." "The pirate one or the face-painter one?" "Both. We'll improvise."