Run: 2026-09-23-01M36WNAEDFEH4H0FMYHQVGEYW

Run Details

Duration:
2m 30s
Cost:
$0.051971
Provider:
xAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The rain had worried the windows of The Raven's Nest since late afternoon, and by the time Aurora came down from the flat the green neon over the door had gone soft at the edges, a drowned colour bleeding into the wet pavement of Soho. She had meant only to return the spare keys. Silas kept a hook for them behind the bar, beside the old brass bell he never rang. Her hair was still damp from the last delivery, black and straight against the collar of her jacket, and the smell of the Golden Empress clung to her: soy, ginger, the sweet char of something Yu-Fei had sent out in a carton she was not supposed to open. Silas looked up from the glass he was polishing. Hazel eyes, the neat beard gone more grey than auburn in the low light, the silver signet on his right hand turning once as he set the cloth down. He limped the three steps to the hook without comment and took the keys. The left knee always announced itself on the turn. "Quiet night," he said. "It's Tuesday." "Tuesdays have their own ideas." He nodded at the stool nearest the maps. "Sit, if you're sitting. Or don't. The pipes upstairs sound worse when you pace." She almost smiled. She took the stool. On the wall behind him the black-and-white photographs held their silences: bridges, a river she did not know, men in coats who had already become the past. A map of Central Europe yellowed under glass. She had lived above this room long enough to stop asking which of the faces were his. The door opened on a shove of wet air, and the bell over the frame gave its small tired note. Rory did not turn at once. People came into the Nest the way rain came into the street, without needing her. Then a voice said her name the way it had been said in a library in Cardiff, half a question, half a certainty that had not been updated. "Aurora?" She turned. Nia Bowen stood just inside the door with rain on the shoulders of a good coat and a canvas bag slung across her body, as if she had walked farther than she meant to. Three years, or something near it. The face was the same and not. Sharper at the cheek, the student softness gone, a pair of lines at the mouth that had not been there when they shared a table in the law library and pretended the cases were only cases. Her hair was shorter. She held herself like someone who had learned to enter rooms and be accounted for. Rory's hands found the edge of the bar. The crescent scar on her left wrist caught the light, and she turned it inward without thinking, an old correction. "Nia." "God." Nia laughed once, a small startled sound, and did not come closer. "I thought—I wasn't sure. Your hair. And you're—you look—" "Different," Rory said. "Yes." Silas had gone still in the way he did when a room changed its weather. He set a glass down, not filled, and moved toward the far end of the bar, the limp a quiet metronome. He did not leave. He gave them the length of the counter and the pretence of the photographs. Nia came to the stool beside Rory's and did not sit. Water ticked from her cuff onto the floorboards. "I was looking for a place that was open," she said. "My hotel's around the corner and the restaurant was closed and I saw the sign. I didn't know you were—Christ, Rory. London. I didn't know you were in London." "I didn't send cards." "No. You didn't." Nia set the bag on the stool. Her hands were bare, no ring. "Your mother told my mother you'd left the course. That was the last thing anyone said that was a fact. After that it was versions. You'd gone to your father's people in Dublin. You'd taken a job in chambers and didn't want the fuss. Evan said—" She stopped. The name sat between them like a glass set down too hard. Rory felt the old coolness arrive, the one she had built in rented rooms and on the backs of buses, the one that let her think when thinking was the only door left. "Evan said a lot of things," she said. "Most of them were for him." Nia's mouth tightened. "I shouldn't have brought him in with me. I'm sorry. It's only that he was the one who answered when I rang your number, and after that the number was dead, and I—I let it be dead. That's the truth of it. I let it." Outside, a taxi hissed through the standing water. The green light trembled on the wet glass and laid a faint colour across Nia's face, then took it back. "Sit," Rory said. Nia sat. Up close the change was more ordinary and therefore worse: a faint stain on the first finger, though Rory had never seen her smoke; the expensive coat worn at the cuff, as if she had kept it past the season when it matched her life; the eyes, which had been quick and unkind in seminars in a way Rory had trusted, now careful, scanning her the way one scans a brief for the sentence that will undo the argument. Silas came back with two small glasses of something amber and set them down without a word. The signet clicked once against the wood. He met Rory's eye—not a question, exactly, more a measure of whether she wanted the room—and when she gave him the smallest shake of her head he retreated to the bottles, his back to them, his bad knee taking the weight on the left. "You're a barrister," Rory said. It was not a question. The bag had the shape of folders. The coat had the cut of someone who stood up in rooms where standing up mattered. "Pupillage finished in the spring. My father's old set, which is as humiliating as it sounds and as useful. I do crime. Not the interesting kind. The kind with forms." Nia turned the glass but did not drink. "Your father asked after you at a dinner in the autumn. Brendan. He did it lightly, the way he does, as if the asking were a courtesy and not a wound. I said I hadn't heard. I have been saying that for so long it almost feels like knowledge." Rory looked at the maps. A city drawn in lines that did not admit what had happened there. "He's all right? And Mum?" "They're all right in the way people are when they've decided not to frighten each other. Jennifer still teaches. She mentioned you once, in the corridor at some school thing my sister dragged me to. She said you were safe. She said it like a closed door." Nia glanced at her. "Are you?" The question was too large for the bar. Rory turned her wrist over, not to display the scar but because hiding it had begun to feel like a lie she was tired of paying for. The crescent was small, pale, older than Evan, older than London. A childhood accident, a kitchen, her mother's voice. Nia's eyes went to it and away, polite, wrong. "I live upstairs," Rory said. "I deliver food for a woman who pays on time and doesn't ask why I flinch at a raised voice in a kitchen. I sleep. I read. Silas makes sure the lock on the street door actually locks. That's the shape of safe, most days." "Silas." "He owns the place." Nia nodded as if filing it. Then the filing broke. "You were going to be good, you know. Better than me. You had that awful habit of seeing the thing the rest of us walked past. I used to hate you for it and copy your notes anyway." A breath. "When you stopped coming in, I told myself you'd met someone serious, or you'd finally told Brendan you didn't want the law, and that you'd write when the drama had cooled. I told myself that for a year. Then it was easier not to be the person who hadn't written first." Rory drank. The whisky was Silas's, not the house pour—smoke and a sweetness underneath, the sort of kindness he offered without announcing it. "I didn't want the law," she said. "That part was true before any of the rest. I was already leaving the idea of it. I just left the rest of my life in the same week and didn't know how to separate the parcels." "And now?" "Now I know the difference between a choice and a flight. I'm not sure I've finished either." They were quiet. The rain thickened, then thinned. Somewhere in the back a cooler kicked on. Rory watched Nia's hands around the glass and remembered them flying over a keyboard in the library, the cheap rings she used to wear on every finger, the way she had once reached across a table and covered Rory's shaking hand without looking up from her casebook, as if the covering were only a pause in the work. Neither of them mentioned that. The not-mentioning had weight. It sat with the unsent messages, the number Evan had answered, the year Nia had called a cooling-off and Rory had called survival. "You could have found me," Rory said, and was surprised by the lack of heat in it. "Eva knew I was here. She was the reason I had a sofa to land on when I got off the train. We've disappointed each other since, in the ordinary ways. She thinks I should want more. I think she confuses more with visible. But she would have told you, if you'd asked her plainly." "Eva stopped taking my calls after you left." Nia's voice had gone thin. "I thought she'd chosen a side. I was too proud to discover I'd invented the war. And I didn't want to hear it from Jennifer, either. I wanted it from you. Which is another way of saying I wanted to be absolved before I'd done the asking." She laughed, smaller this time. "I'm very good at constructing the defence and very bad at standing in the dock. You'd have had a note for that, once." "I still would." Nia looked at her then, really looked, and Rory saw herself arrive in the other woman's face: not the girl from the seminar but the woman on the stool, twenty-five, shoulder-length black hair drying at the ends, bright blue eyes that gave less away than they used to, a scar turned outward now, a life assembled from deliveries and a room above a bar where the walls were papered in other people's maps. The recognition hurt them both. Rory felt it as a pressure behind the ribs, not dramatic, only exact. "I changed my name for a while," she said. "Not legally. Just in the places where a name can be a door. It didn't stick. I'm still me. That's the part I couldn't outrun, and the part I'm trying not to resent." "Laila," Nia said, almost a whisper. "Someone said you'd called yourself Laila. I thought it was gossip." Rory's mouth twitched. "Gossip's often just the truth with its coat on." She did not explain the other names, the ones that had been armour for a month or a night. She did not explain the particular quiet of a flat when you are listening for a key that should not turn. Some regrets announced themselves by the space they left, and she would not fill that space for the sake of a reunion in the rain. "I'm Rory. To the people who stayed." "Did I stay?" "You're here." "By accident." "Most of the true things are." Nia drank at last. She made a face, not at the whisky but at herself. "I have a conference at King's in the morning. Extradition. I was going to read my notes in the hotel and sleep at a decent hour and fly back on Thursday a person who had not failed anyone this week. And then the restaurant was closed and the sign was green and you were sitting under it as if the city had been keeping you for me." She set the glass down. Her eyes were wet and she was angry at them. "I don't know what I'm owed and I don't know what I owe. I only know that when I saw you I wanted, very badly, to be twenty-two again and still in time." Rory thought of her father's voice on the telephone the week she left, careful, legal, already arranging itself around an absence. She thought of her mother saying safe as if it were a subject one could close. She thought of the crescent on her wrist, which had nothing to do with any of them and everything to do with how long a mark can last after the accident has been tidied into a story. Time did not accuse. It simply continued, and the continuation was the accusation. "You can't have twenty-two," she said. "Neither can I. I wouldn't give it back to you even if I could. I was frightened, and I was unkind to the people who might have helped, and I was also right to go. All of that can be true. It doesn't become cleaner because we've both learned to dress better." Nia nodded. A tear got as far as her cheek and no farther; she wiped it with the side of her hand, brisk, embarrassed, the gesture of a woman who did not cry in public and had just discovered an exception. "Will you let me know where you are? Not tonight's speech. An actual way. A number that isn't dead." Rory looked toward Silas. He was drying a glass that was already dry, the signet flashing each time his hand turned, his face arranged in the professional privacy of a man who had spent a life hearing things he would not repeat. The door behind the bookshelf—she had seen him open it once, for a man who did not give a name—stayed shut. This was not that kind of meeting. This was only two people and the years they had spent becoming strangers with a shared vocabulary. "I'll give it to you before you go," she said. "Whether you use it is your affair. Whether I answer is mine. That's as much promise as I've got." "It's more than I came in with." They did not embrace. The impulse rose and fell in Rory like a wave that knew the breakwater. Nia reached instead, briefly, and touched the back of Rory's hand, just beside the scar, the old library gesture stripped of its camouflage. Her fingers were cold from the rain. Rory let them rest for a moment, then turned her hand and held on, once, hard enough to be a fact, and let go. "Finish your drink," she said. "Silas hates waste. And tell me about the extradition paper, if you can do it without sounding like my father." Nia laughed, and the laugh was almost the one from the library, younger than her face. She began to talk—badly, then better—about a case that was only a case. Rory listened. The rain eased. The green sign hummed. On the wall the photographs kept their counsel, and the map of a city where something had gone wrong continued, quietly, to be a map of a city. Between the words they did say, the ones they didn't stood up and remained standing, not banished, only no longer required to pretend they were not in the room. Silas refilled the glasses without being asked. His limp took him away again. Upstairs, the pipes knocked once, as if the flat had noticed her absence and would, in its own time, take her back.
created_at"2026-09-23T10:23:26.162Z" 9/23/2026, 10:23:26 AM
model"x-ai/grok-4.7-20260916"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency743
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time150427
tokens_prompt846
tokens_completion5551
native_tokens_prompt2047
native_tokens_completion10625
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning7336
native_tokens_cached1920
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
service_tier"default"
usage0.0519712
router(null)
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.20.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1790159006-0MZupgkNu1b04KRsBnnv"
session_id(null)
preset_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1790159006-gI6Rwe8nKhsuPreH34hd"
upstream_id"196081bd-c824-91d4-b34e-153881bb7c76"
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"48cfe052-27db-4511-bd21-db8053f20023"
id"196081bd-c824-91d4-b34e-153881bb7c76"
is_byokfalse
latency158
model_permaslug"x-ai/grok-4.7-20260916"
provider_name"xAI"
status200
total_cost0.0519712
cache_discount0.002304
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"xAI"
response_cache_source_id(null)
data_region"global"
workspace_id"97e315e5-d303-487d-83c1-83180e8a13d4"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags23
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"Nia laughed once [once]"
dialogueSentences61
tagDensity0.377
leniency0.754
rawRatio0.043
effectiveRatio0.033
90.68% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2681
totalAiIsmAdverbs5
found
0
adverb"lightly"
count1
1
adverb"very"
count3
2
adverb"really"
count1
highlights
0"lightly"
1"very"
2"really"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
88.81% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2681
totalAiIsms6
found
0
word"the last thing"
count1
1
word"trembled"
count1
2
word"scanning"
count1
3
word"weight"
count2
4
word"whisper"
count1
highlights
0"the last thing"
1"trembled"
2"scanning"
3"weight"
4"whisper"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells2
narrationSentences125
matches
0"was surprised"
1"was angry"
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount1
hedgeCount1
narrationSentences125
filterMatches
0"think"
hedgeMatches
0"began to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences162
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen79
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2671
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions27
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
50.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions69
wordCount1692
uniqueNames16
maxNameDensity1.6
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity3.5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Raven1
Nest2
Aurora1
Soho1
Golden1
Empress1
Yu-Fei1
Central1
Europe1
Cardiff1
Bowen1
Rory27
Silas7
Nia20
Evan2
London1
persons
0"Raven"
1"Aurora"
2"Empress"
3"Yu-Fei"
4"Bowen"
5"Rory"
6"Silas"
7"Nia"
8"Evan"
places
0"Nest"
1"Soho"
2"Europe"
3"Cardiff"
4"London"
globalScore0.702
windowScore0.5
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences81
glossingSentenceCount1
matches
0"as if filing it"
87.68% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches3
per1kWords1.123
wordCount2671
matches
0"not to display the scar but because hiding it had begun to feel like a lie she was tired"
1"not the girl from the seminar but the woman on the stool, twenty-five, shoulder-length black h"
2"not at the whisky but at herself"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences162
matches
0"fill that space"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs63
mean42.4
std35.59
cv0.84
sampleLengths
0119
161
24
32
427
559
620
749
81
92
10102
1128
121
1322
143
151
1654
1719
1840
194
2062
2114
2247
2348
2428
253
2681
2768
2833
2987
3023
3153
3263
3350
341
354
36101
3767
382
3917
40106
4172
4288
433
4491
4542
4617
4784
483
492
91.23% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount5
totalSentences125
matches
0"been said"
1"been updated"
2"was surprised"
3"were papered"
4"been tidied"
5"being asked"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount2
totalVerbs287
matches
0"was polishing"
1"was drying"
37.04% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount7
semicolonCount3
flaggedSentences6
totalSentences162
ratio0.037
matches
0"Up close the change was more ordinary and therefore worse: a faint stain on the first finger, though Rory had never seen her smoke; the expensive coat worn at the cuff, as if she had kept it past the season when it matched her life; the eyes, which had been quick and unkind in seminars in a way Rory had trusted, now careful, scanning her the way one scans a brief for the sentence that will undo the argument."
1"He met Rory's eye—not a question, exactly, more a measure of whether she wanted the room—and when she gave him the smallest shake of her head he retreated to the bottles, his back to them, his bad knee taking the weight on the left."
2"The whisky was Silas's, not the house pour—smoke and a sweetness underneath, the sort of kindness he offered without announcing it."
3"A tear got as far as her cheek and no farther; she wiped it with the side of her hand, brisk, embarrassed, the gesture of a woman who did not cry in public and had just discovered an exception."
4"The door behind the bookshelf—she had seen him open it once, for a man who did not give a name—stayed shut."
5"She began to talk—badly, then better—about a case that was only a case."
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1706
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount62
adverbRatio0.03634232121922626
lyAdverbCount14
lyAdverbRatio0.008206330597889801
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences162
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences162
mean16.49
std16.02
cv0.972
sampleLengths
045
19
217
348
49
529
614
79
84
92
1013
1114
123
134
1427
158
1617
1720
186
1915
2028
211
222
2334
246
257
2636
274
2815
298
3020
311
3213
339
343
351
3615
3721
384
3914
4011
418
4211
4329
444
4510
466
4746
482
4912
51.85% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats11
diversityRatio0.35185185185185186
totalSentences162
uniqueOpeners57
94.34% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount3
totalSentences106
matches
0"Then a voice said her"
1"Then the filing broke."
2"Somewhere in the back a"
ratio0.028
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount31
totalSentences106
matches
0"She had meant only to"
1"Her hair was still damp"
2"He limped the three steps"
3"He nodded at the stool"
4"She almost smiled."
5"She took the stool."
6"She had lived above this"
7"Her hair was shorter."
8"She held herself like someone"
9"He set a glass down,"
10"He did not leave."
11"He gave them the length"
12"Her hands were bare, no"
13"He met Rory's eye—not a"
14"It was not a question."
15"They were quiet."
16"It sat with the unsent"
17"She laughed, smaller this time"
18"She did not explain the"
19"She did not explain the"
ratio0.292
11.89% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount95
totalSentences106
matches
0"The rain had worried the"
1"She had meant only to"
2"Silas kept a hook for"
3"Her hair was still damp"
4"Silas looked up from the"
5"Hazel eyes, the neat beard"
6"He limped the three steps"
7"The left knee always announced"
8"He nodded at the stool"
9"She almost smiled."
10"She took the stool."
11"A map of Central Europe"
12"She had lived above this"
13"The door opened on a"
14"Rory did not turn at"
15"People came into the Nest"
16"Nia Bowen stood just inside"
17"The face was the same"
18"Her hair was shorter."
19"She held herself like someone"
ratio0.896
0.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount0
totalSentences106
matches(empty)
ratio0
46.70% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences52
technicalSentenceCount7
matches
0"Nia Bowen stood just inside the door with rain on the shoulders of a good coat and a canvas bag slung across her body, as if she had walked farther than she mea…"
1"Up close the change was more ordinary and therefore worse: a faint stain on the first finger, though Rory had never seen her smoke; the expensive coat worn at t…"
2"Rory watched Nia's hands around the glass and remembered them flying over a keyboard in the library, the cheap rings she used to wear on every finger, the way s…"
3"Nia looked at her then, really looked, and Rory saw herself arrive in the other woman's face: not the girl from the seminar but the woman on the stool, twenty-f…"
4"She did not explain the particular quiet of a flat when you are listening for a key that should not turn."
5"A tear got as far as her cheek and no farther; she wiped it with the side of her hand, brisk, embarrassed, the gesture of a woman who did not cry in public and …"
6"He was drying a glass that was already dry, the signet flashing each time his hand turned, his face arranged in the professional privacy of a man who had spent …"
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags23
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags17
fancyCount3
fancyTags
0"Nia laughed once (laugh)"
1"She laughed (laugh)"
2"She did (do)"
dialogueSentences61
tagDensity0.279
leniency0.557
rawRatio0.176
effectiveRatio0.098
85.0071%