Run: 2026-09-23-01M36WNAQ1AJNVHM8G9GRGYEB8

"Okay, Bill, here's the plan. My niece's birthday party is Saturday. Six-year-olds. Over thirty of them. The pile of presents will be enormous." "You want to steal kids' birthday presents? Molly, that's a new low, even for us." "Do you want to retire or not? Last year that kid got a Nintendo Switch and a hoverboard. We're talking thousands in wrapping paper alone." "Wait, your niece's party?" "She doesn't know me that well. Barely any familial guilt." "How are we even getting in?" "I RSVP'd for both of us. We're the cool cousins. Aunt Theresa expects us." "And we just walk out with the gifts?" "During cake. Kids are blind to everything during cake. We box up the presents, carry them to the van, and leave." "Someone will notice." "Nobody notices the cousins who always bring the boring card." "I hate that this is brilliant." "Bill, it's a children's birthday party. The security is one grandmother with a broken hip." "What if a kid cries?" "Then a kid cries, and we're rich." "...Fine. But I'm not stealing the hoverboard. That's a line I won't cross." "Deal." "I'm still taking the Switch though." "I'd expect nothing less."