Run: 2026-09-23-01M37P0SC70A4D7K8PX89DS86K

Run Details

Duration:
3m 29s
Cost:
$0.047996
Provider:
AionLabs

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The rain had been working the windows of the Raven's Nest since noon, and by nine it had driven everyone home but the regulars and the desperate. Rory sat at the bar with a plate of chips going cold, her delivery bag slumped on the stool beside her like a second, tireder version of herself. Silas stood at the far end, working the crossword with a pencil he kept behind his ear, and every so often the paper rustled like something being interrogated. "Seven letters," he said. "Beggar. Starts with M." "Mendicant." "Mm." He wrote it in without conceding that she might be wrong. That was the whole of their arrangement, really — he let her pull the odd pint against her rent, she did his crossword, and neither of them said more about it than the arrangement required. The door opened with its wet-weather groan, and a woman came in unwinding a scarf, and Rory knew her before she knew her. Knew the shape of the gesture, the impatient flip of the wrist at the end, the way she shook the rain off like a dog that had decided not to mind it. Then the woman looked up, and Rory's stomach dropped through the floor of the bar and into the cellars, into the Underground, into the grey water under the pier at Cardiff Bay where they used to stand and shout at the wind. "Rory?" The voice hadn't changed. That was the cruel part. Faces changed and bodies changed and voices stayed, so that dead people could live in them, and so could the living, which was somehow worse. "Eva." Eva crossed the room slowly, as if the floor might not hold her, and Rory stood to meet her and got a good look at her under the green-tinged lamplight. Eva had been the loudest person in any room in Cardiff, a girl who filled doorways and dared them to be narrower, dark hair in a wild mass that laughed at hairbrushes. The woman in front of her had that hair pinned flat to her skull. She was thin in the particular way that means meals skipped, not diets kept. She wore a good coat, a careful coat, and she took the stool with her back to the wall and her eyes on the door, and Rory knew that trick. She had done it herself for a year, sitting where she could see the entrance of every pub and restaurant in London, until Silas had looked at her one night and said, "You'll wear yourself out before anything comes through the door," and she had cried in the loos for reasons she still hadn't fully sorted. "You look well," Eva said, and it came out sounding like grief. "You look—" Rory began, and Eva smiled a small, tidy smile that closed the sentence for her. "Manchester's got good trams," Eva said. "That's something." "How long's it been?" "Three and a half years." She said it instantly, precisely. People who are lonely count. Rory had counted too, once, in a flat in Cardiff with the curtains drawn. Silas drifted down the bar without appearing to move, and set a gin and tonic in front of Eva, lime pushed down into it with a spoon, the way she'd always mangled them herself at eighteen. He didn't ask what she wanted. He tapped his silver signet ring once against the wood, a small sound like a full stop, and limped back to his crossword. "You didn't order that," Rory said. "I didn't have to. He's got a face like a man who knows things." Eva looked at the glass like it was a photograph of somebody. Then she picked it up and drank, and made a face — a lime-sour, eighteen-year-old face — and for one second the old Eva stood inside the new one like a woman framed in a doorway. They talked the way old friends talk when they're being careful, which is to say they talked about mothers. Jennifer Carter was still teaching Year Six and still sending Rory clippings about pupillage she would never do. Eva's mum was still in Pontcanna, still asking after "that lovely Silas" she'd never met, on the strength of Rory's descriptions alone. Rory told her about the Golden Empress, about Yu-Fei's dumplings and the bicycle she'd bought second-hand and named Brendan, after her father, because it was stubborn and it had cost her money she'd never get back. Eva laughed. It cracked her open an inch. "You were going to be a barrister." "I was going to be miserable. I got out of that one." The laugh died and Eva turned her glass a quarter turn, and a quarter turn back, and Rory saw the ring on her finger — plain gold, turning and turning like a thing being wound. "You married him, then," Rory said. "The Manchester one. Daniel." "It didn't take," Eva said. "Separated." And then, in the bright, rehearsed voice that Rory knew better than her own: "It's fine, it's all fine, it was one of those things, you know how it —" "Ev." The word sat on the bar between them like the ring Eva had stopped turning. Somewhere behind them the crossword pencil scratched. Rain kept up its long argument with the window. Eva reached across the bar and took Rory's left wrist, turned it over, and put her thumb just below the small crescent scar there, not touching it, hovering, like a bird over water. "Still tell people it was a dog?" "You know it was the gate at Nan Ellis's. You were there. You dared me." "I did not." A pause. "I absolutely did." They looked at each other over Rory's wrist, over the moon-shaped evidence of a summer they'd both survived, and Rory watched the careful coat and the pinned hair and the thin wrists and the seat facing the door, and she understood that she was reading a letter written in a language she'd been fluent in once, and she said, quietly, so that only Eva and possibly Silas and definitely Silas would hear: "Where are you staying?" "There's a Travelodge by Euston." "Since when?" "Tuesday." "Which Tuesday." Eva looked at the door. A man came through it, shaking out an umbrella, and she watched him the whole way to the far end of the bar before she answered. "This one," she said. Three days. Rory did the arithmetic of it — three days of a Travelodge, of a coat kept on indoors, of counting — and felt the years drop away like a lift cable cut. "You should have called me. You'd have had the sofa. You'd have had — Ev, you'd have had anything, you know that." "I know what you'd have done." Eva's voice went low and flat and steady, a voice reporting facts. "That's why I couldn't. You'd have driven up there. You'd have knocked on the door." She turned the ring again. "You were the one who needed getting out, Rory. You were the one I drove the van for. I lied to your da with a straight face, God help me. I was good at it. I couldn't be the one on the other end of it. I couldn't be the one who needed it." "That's not how it works." "That's exactly how it works." "I kept meaning to call," Rory said, and heard how thin it was even as she said it. "I kept thinking you were fine. You sounded fine on the birthday texts. You sounded —" "Fine," Eva agreed. "Yes." Neither of them drank. The rain filled in the silence where the apology should have gone, and Rory let it, because she was twenty-five and had learned at least one thing, which was that some sentences do more damage coming out than staying in. Instead she reached over and worked the gold ring off Eva's finger herself, gently, the way you'd take a splinter out, and set it on the bar next to the glass, where it lay like something surrendered. Silas appeared again — Rory never saw him decide to move, only that he had — and put down two fresh glasses and the bottle and a plate of chips, hot ones, and said to Eva, "Kitchen's open till midnight, and the room upstairs is quiet." That was all. He went back to his crossword with his limp and his authority and left them to it, and Eva looked after him and then at Rory with her eyebrows up, and Rory shook her head, because some explanations were a whole other evening. "There's a key on the hook by my door," Rory said. "The sofa's got your name on it. It always did — you wrote it there in biro, remember, and I never got it off." "I remember," Eva said. The walls of the Nest were hung with old maps, coastlines that didn't exist anymore, borders redrawn so many times the paper had gone soft at the folds, and photographs of people frozen mid-laugh in black and white, all of them strangers, all of them somebody's Eva once. Rory looked at them while Eva ate a chip, then two, then the way she used to eat, quickly, like the plate might be reclaimed, and she thought: time does what it does. It had made a stranger of her friend in all the small ways and hadn't laid a finger on the one thing that mattered, the thing underneath, the gate and the dare and the van. "Three and a half years," Rory said. "I know." Eva looked at the ring on the bar, and then at the door, and then — for the first time all night — she turned her stool so her back was to it. "Tell me about the bicycle," she said. "Tell me about Brendan."The rain had been working the windows of the Raven's Nest since noon, and by nine it had driven everyone home but the regulars and the desperate. Rory sat at the bar with a plate of chips going cold, her delivery bag slumped on the stool beside her like a second, tireder version of herself. Silas stood at the far end, working the crossword with a pencil he kept behind his ear, and every so often the paper rustled like something being interrogated. "Seven letters," he said. "Beggar. Starts with M." "Mendicant." "Mm." He wrote it in without conceding that she might be wrong. That was the whole of their arrangement, really — he let her pull the odd pint against her rent, she did his crossword, and neither of them said more about it than the arrangement required. The door opened with its wet-weather groan, and a woman came in unwinding a scarf, and Rory knew her before she knew her. Knew the shape of the gesture, the impatient flip of the wrist at the end, the way she shook the rain off like a dog that had decided not to mind it. Then the woman looked up, and Rory's stomach dropped through the floor of the bar and into the cellars, into the Underground, into the grey water under the pier at Cardiff Bay where they used to stand and shout at the wind. "Rory?" The voice hadn't changed. That was the cruel part. Faces changed and bodies changed and voices stayed, so that dead people could live in them, and so could the living, which was somehow worse. "Eva." Eva crossed the room slowly, as if the floor might not hold her, and Rory stood to meet her and got a good look at her under the green-tinged lamplight. Eva had been the loudest person in any room in Cardiff, a girl who filled doorways and dared them to be narrower, dark hair in a wild mass that laughed at hairbrushes. The woman in front of her had that hair pinned flat to her skull. She was thin in the particular way that means meals skipped, not diets kept. She wore a good coat, a careful coat, and she took the stool with her back to the wall and her eyes on the door, and Rory knew that trick. She had done it herself for a year, sitting where she could see the entrance of every pub and restaurant in London, until Silas had looked at her one night and said, "You'll wear yourself out before anything comes through the door," and she had cried in the loos for reasons she still hadn't fully sorted. "You look well," Eva said, and it came out sounding like grief. "You look—" Rory began, and Eva smiled a small, tidy smile that closed the sentence for her. "Manchester's got good trams," Eva said. "That's something." "How long's it been?" "Three and a half years." She said it instantly, precisely. People who are lonely count. Rory had counted too, once, in a flat in Cardiff with the curtains drawn. Silas drifted down the bar without appearing to move, and set a gin and tonic in front of Eva, lime pushed down into it with a spoon, the way she'd always mangled them herself at eighteen. He didn't ask what she wanted. He tapped his silver signet ring once against the wood, a small sound like a full stop, and limped back to his crossword. "You didn't order that," Rory said. "I didn't have to. He's got a face like a man who knows things." Eva looked at the glass like it was a photograph of somebody. Then she picked it up and drank, and made a face — a lime-sour, eighteen-year-old face — and for one second the old Eva stood inside the new one like a woman framed in a doorway. They talked the way old friends talk when they're being careful, which is to say they talked about mothers. Jennifer Carter was still teaching Year Six and still sending Rory clippings about pupillage she would never do. Eva's mum was still in Pontcanna, still asking after "that lovely Silas" she'd never met, on the strength of Rory's descriptions alone. Rory told her about the Golden Empress, about Yu-Fei's dumplings and the bicycle she'd bought second-hand and named Brendan, after her father, because it was stubborn and it had cost her money she'd never get back. Eva laughed. It cracked her open an inch. "You were going to be a barrister." "I was going to be miserable. I got out of that one." The laugh died and Eva turned her glass a quarter turn, and a quarter turn back, and Rory saw the ring on her finger — plain gold, turning and turning like a thing being wound. "You married him, then," Rory said. "The Manchester one. Daniel." "It didn't take," Eva said. "Separated." And then, in the bright, rehearsed voice that Rory knew better than her own: "It's fine, it's all fine, it was one of those things, you know how it —" "Ev." The word sat on the bar between them like the ring Eva had stopped turning. Somewhere behind them the crossword pencil scratched. Rain kept up its long argument with the window. Eva reached across the bar and took Rory's left wrist, turned it over, and put her thumb just below the small crescent scar there, not touching it, hovering, like a bird over water. "Still tell people it was a dog?" "You know it was the gate at Nan Ellis's. You were there. You dared me." "I did not." A pause. "I absolutely did." They looked at each other over Rory's wrist, over the moon-shaped evidence of a summer they'd both survived, and Rory watched the careful coat and the pinned hair and the thin wrists and the seat facing the door, and she understood that she was reading a letter written in a language she'd been fluent in once, and she said, quietly, so that only Eva and possibly Silas and definitely Silas would hear: "Where are you staying?" "There's a Travelodge by Euston." "Since when?" "Tuesday." "Which Tuesday." Eva looked at the door. A man came through it, shaking out an umbrella, and she watched him the whole way to the far end of the bar before she answered. "This one," she said. Three days. Rory did the arithmetic of it — three days of a Travelodge, of a coat kept on indoors, of counting — and felt the years drop away like a lift cable cut. "You should have called me. You'd have had the sofa. You'd have had — Ev, you'd have had anything, you know that." "I know what you'd have done." Eva's voice went low and flat and steady, a voice reporting facts. "That's why I couldn't. You'd have driven up there. You'd have knocked on the door." She turned the ring again. "You were the one who needed getting out, Rory. You were the one I drove the van for. I lied to your da with a straight face, God help me. I was good at it. I couldn't be the one on the other end of it. I couldn't be the one who needed it." "That's not how it works." "That's exactly how it works." "I kept meaning to call," Rory said, and heard how thin it was even as she said it. "I kept thinking you were fine. You sounded fine on the birthday texts. You sounded —" "Fine," Eva agreed. "Yes." Neither of them drank. The rain filled in the silence where the apology should have gone, and Rory let it, because she was twenty-five and had learned at least one thing, which was that some sentences do more damage coming out than staying in. Instead she reached over and worked the gold ring off Eva's finger herself, gently, the way you'd take a splinter out, and set it on the bar next to the glass, where it lay like something surrendered. Silas appeared again — Rory never saw him decide to move, only that he had — and put down two fresh glasses and the bottle and a plate of chips, hot ones, and said to Eva, "Kitchen's open till midnight, and the room upstairs is quiet." That was all. He went back to his crossword with his limp and his authority and left them to it, and Eva looked after him and then at Rory with her eyebrows up, and Rory shook her head, because some explanations were a whole other evening. "There's a key on the hook by my door," Rory said. "The sofa's got your name on it. It always did — you wrote it there in biro, remember, and I never got it off." "I remember," Eva said. The walls of the Nest were hung with old maps, coastlines that didn't exist anymore, borders redrawn so many times the paper had gone soft at the folds, and photographs of people frozen mid-laugh in black and white, all of them strangers, all of them somebody's Eva once. Rory looked at them while Eva ate a chip, then two, then the way she used to eat, quickly, like the plate might be reclaimed, and she thought: time does what it does. It had made a stranger of her friend in all the small ways and hadn't laid a finger on the one thing that mattered, the thing underneath, the gate and the dare and the van. "Three and a half years," Rory said. "I know." Eva looked at the ring on the bar, and then at the door, and then — for the first time all night — she turned her stool so her back was to it. "Tell me about the bicycle," she said. "Tell me about Brendan."
created_at"2026-09-23T17:46:36.313Z" 9/23/2026, 5:46:36 PM
model"aion-labs/aion-3.5-20260923"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency450
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time208909
tokens_prompt846
tokens_completion8532
native_tokens_prompt818
native_tokens_completion7897
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning4057
native_tokens_cached818
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
service_tier(null)
usage0.0479955
router(null)
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.20.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1790185596-eDrDbnBZ5CSHied7FnYK"
session_id(null)
preset_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1790185596-sWkhSDKHF2y155cwAgSI"
upstream_id"d9a00eca93324f76b7a908d26b335476"
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"09b1fc56-3888-42bd-b7a0-926851c7f9d6"
id"d9a00eca93324f76b7a908d26b335476"
is_byokfalse
latency450
model_permaslug"aion-labs/aion-3.5-20260923"
provider_name"AionLabs"
status200
total_cost0.0479955
cache_discount0.0018405
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"AionLabs"
response_cache_source_id(null)
data_region"global"
workspace_id"97e315e5-d303-487d-83c1-83180e8a13d4"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags48
adverbTagCount2
adverbTags
0"Silas appeared again — [again ]"
1"Silas appeared again — [again ]"
dialogueSentences102
tagDensity0.471
leniency0.941
rawRatio0.042
effectiveRatio0.039
84.70% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount3269
totalAiIsmAdverbs10
found
0
adverb"really"
count2
1
adverb"slowly"
count2
2
adverb"precisely"
count2
3
adverb"gently"
count2
4
adverb"quickly"
count2
highlights
0"really"
1"slowly"
2"precisely"
3"gently"
4"quickly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
87.76% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount3269
totalAiIsms8
found
0
word"stomach"
count2
1
word"tinged"
count2
2
word"absolutely"
count2
3
word"silence"
count2
highlights
0"stomach"
1"tinged"
2"absolutely"
3"silence"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches2
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"stomach dropped/sank"
count2
highlights
0"stomach dropped"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences135
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount2
hedgeCount0
narrationSentences135
filterMatches
0"decide"
hedgeMatches(empty)
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences187
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen73
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords3293
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions52
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
33.33% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions152
wordCount2579
uniqueNames20
maxNameDensity2.02
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity4
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Raven1
Nest3
Rory52
Underground2
Cardiff6
Bay2
London2
Silas12
Eva50
People2
Carter2
Year2
Six2
Pontcanna2
Golden2
Empress2
Yu-Fei2
Brendan2
Three2
Travelodge2
persons
0"Raven"
1"Rory"
2"Silas"
3"Eva"
4"People"
5"Carter"
6"Yu-Fei"
7"Brendan"
places
0"Underground"
1"Cardiff"
2"Bay"
3"London"
globalScore0.492
windowScore0.333
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences93
glossingSentenceCount0
matches(empty)
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches0
per1kWords0
wordCount3293
matches(empty)
0.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount10
totalSentences187
matches
0"conceding that she"
1"had that hair"
2"knew that trick"
3"understood that she"
4"was that some"
5"conceding that she"
6"had that hair"
7"knew that trick"
8"understood that she"
9"was that some"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs95
mean34.66
std39.15
cv1.13
sampleLengths
083
18
21
347
497
51
634
71
8176
912
1017
118
124
1329
1465
156
1662
1795
1815
1912
2035
2110
2236
231
2431
2540
2615
278
2872
294
305
312
321
332
3435
3556
3692
375
385
3934
404
4181
4292
4335
444
45116
467
47128
488
491
94.87% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount4
totalSentences135
matches
0"being interrogated"
1"were hung"
2"being interrogated"
3"were hung"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount4
totalVerbs450
matches
0"was still teaching"
1"was reading"
2"was still teaching"
3"was reading"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount20
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences12
totalSentences187
ratio0.064
matches
0"That was the whole of their arrangement, really — he let her pull the odd pint against her rent, she did his crossword, and neither of them said more about it than the arrangement required."
1"Then she picked it up and drank, and made a face — a lime-sour, eighteen-year-old face — and for one second the old Eva stood inside the new one like a woman framed in a doorway."
2"The laugh died and Eva turned her glass a quarter turn, and a quarter turn back, and Rory saw the ring on her finger — plain gold, turning and turning like a thing being wound."
3"Rory did the arithmetic of it — three days of a Travelodge, of a coat kept on indoors, of counting — and felt the years drop away like a lift cable cut."
4"Silas appeared again — Rory never saw him decide to move, only that he had — and put down two fresh glasses and the bottle and a plate of chips, hot ones, and said to Eva, \"Kitchen's open till midnight, and the room upstairs is quiet.\" That was all."
5"\"I know.\" Eva looked at the ring on the bar, and then at the door, and then — for the first time all night — she turned her stool so her back was to it."
6"That was the whole of their arrangement, really — he let her pull the odd pint against her rent, she did his crossword, and neither of them said more about it than the arrangement required."
7"Then she picked it up and drank, and made a face — a lime-sour, eighteen-year-old face — and for one second the old Eva stood inside the new one like a woman framed in a doorway."
8"The laugh died and Eva turned her glass a quarter turn, and a quarter turn back, and Rory saw the ring on her finger — plain gold, turning and turning like a thing being wound."
9"Rory did the arithmetic of it — three days of a Travelodge, of a coat kept on indoors, of counting — and felt the years drop away like a lift cable cut."
10"Silas appeared again — Rory never saw him decide to move, only that he had — and put down two fresh glasses and the bottle and a plate of chips, hot ones, and said to Eva, \"Kitchen's open till midnight, and the room upstairs is quiet.\" That was all."
11"\"I know.\" Eva looked at the ring on the bar, and then at the door, and then — for the first time all night — she turned her stool so her back was to it."
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1552
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount54
adverbRatio0.03479381443298969
lyAdverbCount16
lyAdverbRatio0.010309278350515464
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences187
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences187
mean17.61
std15.4
cv0.874
sampleLengths
027
128
228
34
44
51
612
735
823
932
1042
111
124
135
1425
151
1630
1732
1814
1914
2030
2156
2212
2317
246
252
264
2710
285
2914
3036
316
3223
336
3426
3536
3619
3718
3822
3936
402
416
427
4312
4435
456
464
475
4831
491
39.30% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats20
diversityRatio0.21390374331550802
totalSentences187
uniqueOpeners40
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount8
totalSentences107
matches
0"Then the woman looked up,"
1"Then she picked it up"
2"Somewhere behind them the crossword"
3"Instead she reached over and"
4"Then the woman looked up,"
5"Then she picked it up"
6"Somewhere behind them the crossword"
7"Instead she reached over and"
ratio0.075
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount26
totalSentences107
matches
0"He wrote it in without"
1"She was thin in the"
2"She wore a good coat,"
3"She had done it herself"
4"She said it instantly, precisely"
5"He didn't ask what she"
6"He tapped his silver signet"
7"They talked the way old"
8"It cracked her open an"
9"They looked at each other"
10"She turned the ring again"
11"He went back to his"
12"It had made a stranger"
13"He wrote it in without"
14"She was thin in the"
15"She wore a good coat,"
16"She had done it herself"
17"She said it instantly, precisely"
18"He didn't ask what she"
19"He tapped his silver signet"
ratio0.243
16.07% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount95
totalSentences107
matches
0"The rain had been working"
1"Rory sat at the bar"
2"Silas stood at the far"
3"He wrote it in without"
4"That was the whole of"
5"The door opened with its"
6"The voice hadn't changed."
7"That was the cruel part."
8"Faces changed and bodies changed"
9"Eva crossed the room slowly,"
10"Eva had been the loudest"
11"The woman in front of"
12"She was thin in the"
13"She wore a good coat,"
14"She had done it herself"
15"Eva said, and it came"
16"Rory began, and Eva smiled"
17"She said it instantly, precisely"
18"People who are lonely count."
19"Rory had counted too, once,"
ratio0.888
0.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount0
totalSentences107
matches(empty)
ratio0
29.48% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences63
technicalSentenceCount10
matches
0"Eva crossed the room slowly, as if the floor might not hold her, and Rory stood to meet her and got a good look at her under the green-tinged lamplight."
1"Eva had been the loudest person in any room in Cardiff, a girl who filled doorways and dared them to be narrower, dark hair in a wild mass that laughed at hairb…"
2"The rain filled in the silence where the apology should have gone, and Rory let it, because she was twenty-five and had learned at least one thing, which was th…"
3"The walls of the Nest were hung with old maps, coastlines that didn't exist anymore, borders redrawn so many times the paper had gone soft at the folds, and pho…"
4"It had made a stranger of her friend in all the small ways and hadn't laid a finger on the one thing that mattered, the thing underneath, the gate and the dare …"
5"Eva crossed the room slowly, as if the floor might not hold her, and Rory stood to meet her and got a good look at her under the green-tinged lamplight."
6"Eva had been the loudest person in any room in Cardiff, a girl who filled doorways and dared them to be narrower, dark hair in a wild mass that laughed at hairb…"
7"The rain filled in the silence where the apology should have gone, and Rory let it, because she was twenty-five and had learned at least one thing, which was th…"
8"The walls of the Nest were hung with old maps, coastlines that didn't exist anymore, borders redrawn so many times the paper had gone soft at the folds, and pho…"
9"It had made a stranger of her friend in all the small ways and hadn't laid a finger on the one thing that mattered, the thing underneath, the gate and the dare …"
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags48
uselessAdditionCount2
matches
0"She said, precisely"
1"She said, precisely"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags28
fancyCount2
fancyTags
0"Eva agreed (agree)"
1"Eva agreed (agree)"
dialogueSentences102
tagDensity0.275
leniency0.549
rawRatio0.071
effectiveRatio0.039
79.5176%