Run: 2026-09-23-01M37Q631XVJJA60P3XAK2DCAX

The van smelled like cold pizza and regret. Molly unfolded a hand-drawn map of the party venue on the dashboard, smoothing it with the flat of her hand while Bill chewed on a pen cap and stared at it like it might bite. "Okay," Molly said, tapping the paper. "The party starts at two. Bouncy castle goes up at noon. That's our window." "Our window to do what, exactly? Bounce?" "Bill, I swear to God." "What? I'm asking legitimate tactical questions. Is this a smash and grab or are we going in quiet?" "It's a children's party. There will be forty screaming seven-year-olds and a man dressed as a dinosaur. How quiet do you think we need to be?" "Fair point. So what's the plan? We walk in, we walk out with the presents. That's it? That's the whole plan?" "That's the whole plan." "That's a terrible plan, Molly. That's not a plan. That's a crime with extra steps." "Fine. Fine! You want details? Here." She jabbed a finger at the map. "Present table, back corner, next to the cake. I go in as the caterer." "You're not a caterer." "I'll be holding a tray." "You don't have a tray." "I'll hold my hands out flat, Bill. Like a tray. Nobody questions a woman with confident hands." Bill took the pen cap out of his mouth. "And what do I do? What's my role in this operation?" "You're the distraction." "Excuse me?" "You cause a distraction. Something loud. Something memorable. Then I load the presents into the catering van." "We don't have a catering van. We have a Honda Civic." "Then I load the presents into the Honda Civic, Bill, keep up." "What kind of distraction are we talking? Because last time you said distraction, I ended up setting off actual fireworks in a museum and we got banned from the county." "That was one time." "It was three times." "Okay, what about this," Molly said, leaning back. "You trip near the bouncy castle. You fall dramatically. Kids love a grown man falling down. It's like catnip for them. They'll swarm you. Every eye in that room will be on you, weeping with laughter, and I'll be free and clear with the loot." "Loot. She's calling birthday presents loot now." "Wrapped gifts, Bill. Some of them are big. I saw a bike box go in that house yesterday." "You cased a house with a bike in it and your instinct was to steal from children?" "Our rent is due, and I have a very specific set of skills that the legitimate economy has repeatedly failed to accommodate." "Your specific set of skills is shoplifting and lying about catering!" "Which is exactly the skill set this job requires! It's like this heist was made for me!" Bill rubbed his eyes with both hands. "Fine. Fine. I'll trip near the bouncy castle. But if one of those kids laughs at me, Molly, I want you to know I will be devastated, and I will bring it up at every holiday for the rest of our lives." "Noted." "And I want an equal cut." "You're getting thirty percent." "I'm the one throwing my body on the line!" "Thirty-five, and I'll let you keep the bike." Bill paused. His eyes went soft and distant, the way they did when he was pictaping a better future. "The one with the streamers on the handlebars?" "The very one." "Deal," he said, and spit into his palm to shake on it. Molly looked at his hand. "Absolutely not."