Run: 2026-10-06-01M48VKB7KBKKPPSV7F8J1YRDR

Molly spread the party invitations across the kitchen table like a deck of cards, each one glitter-splattered and smelling faintly of grape juice. "So we're doing this," she said. Bill leaned back in his chair, which creaked ominously. "We're doing this." "We're stealing from children." "We're stealing from children." "Bill, they're going to be seven years old." "Precisely why we need the element of surprise." Molly picked up a pink envelope. "Timmy Henderson. Princess party. The presents are going to be unicorns and glitter and probably one of those giant stuffed animals that takes up an entire bedroom." "Exactly." "Bill, I have a conscience." "You have a conscience that we can work around. Remember the museum?" "I returned the dinosaur bone." "You returned it because it was three feet long and made of actual fossilized bone, which is legally distinct from a stuffed unicorn." Molly was quiet for a moment. "The clown." "Bartholomew was not a clown. Bartholomew was a party entertainer with a balloon-related incident." "Bartholomew chased us with a chainsaw." "He was holding a balloon animal that looked like a chainsaw." "Bill." "Fine. It was a real chainsaw. But he was emotionally unstable, and we learned our lesson about vetting our marks." "Our lesson was that children's parties are dangerous." "Our lesson was that children's parties are dangerous, which is why we need to be prepared." Bill pulled out a notebook covered in stickers. "I've done the research. The Hendersons live in a gated community with a security guard named Doug who falls asleep at 2 AM." "How do you know this?" "I befriended Doug. We have a rapport. He likes crossword puzzles." "Bill, you befriended a security guard to steal from a child's birthday party." "I befriended a security guard to steal from a child's birthday party. There's a difference. The first is reconnaissance. The second is a felony." Molly sighed. "What's the plan?" "Simple. We pose as... what do you call those people who do magic at parties?" "Entertainers?" "Exactly. We're entertainers. Doug lets us in at 1:45. We wait in the garage. At 2:15, the Hendersons go to bed. The presents are under the tree in the living room. We load them into my van, which I've already disguised as a birthday party supply truck." "You disguised your van." "I disguised your van. You left the keys in it." "That was one time." "That was one time, and now it says 'PARTY TIME' in glitter letters and has a unicorn on the side." "That's... actually kind of good." "It's excellent. The Hendersons will think we're legitimate. We go in, we do a magic show for thirty minutes, we collect our fee, and we leave with the presents hidden in our 'prop cases.'" "And if Timmy asks us to make a balloon animal?" Bill opened his jacket to reveal seventeen balloon animals already made. "I've been practicing. The giraffe is my best, but the sword is more impressive for boys." "Bill, you made a sword out of balloons." "I made a sword out of balloons. Children love swords. It's developmentally appropriate." Molly stood up and walked to the window. "What if we get caught?" "Then we run. Doug knows not to follow us. We have an understanding." "Bill, you have an understanding with a man who falls asleep on the job." "I have an understanding with a man who falls asleep on the job, which is the ideal security arrangement for criminals." "What if the parents wake up?" "They won't. Mrs. Henderson takes a sleeping pill at 9:30. Mr. Henderson snores loud enough to wake the dead, which means he's already unconscious." "How do you know this?" "I did not befriend Mr. Henderson. That would be excessive." Molly turned back to the table. "Okay. We're doing this. But if I see one child cry, we're leaving everything and running." "Agreed. Emotional damage is bad for business." "Also, if there's cake, we get cake." "Absolutely. I've already scoped the flavor. It's a vanilla with raspberry filling. Very stealable." "Bill, you can't steal cake from a child's party." "I can absolutely steal cake from a child's party. It's the least we can do for the trauma." Molly laughed despite herself. "You're terrible." "I'm a professional. There's a difference." Bill stood up and offered her his hand. "Shall we?" "Shall we." They shook on it, and Molly felt the familiar thrill of the plan, the delicious absurdity of two adults about to rob a seven-year-old's princess party. Somewhere in the distance, a dog barked. Bill checked his watch. "Forty-eight hours," he said. "Party time." "Party time," Molly agreed. And somewhere, a unicorn waited to be stolen.