Run: 2026-10-07-01M4AT5F0WN2XH4153NKYPMNN9

Run Details

Duration:
3m 1s
Cost:
$0.018168
Provider:
Mistral

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the horror genre. A character is alone in a strange, isolated place at night. They came here for a reason, but something feels off from the moment they arrive. The wrongness builds slowly — sounds that shouldn't be there, things that move at the edge of vision, a growing certainty that they are not alone. Build tension through restraint, not through gore. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for the character and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
Rory counted the oak standing stones as she always did when crossing the threshold, her breath coming in shallow clouds that vanished before they reached her lips. Seven ancient markers, ringed in moss that should have glowed faintly silver under the sodium lights of the Richmond Park car park, though she'd abandoned the car twenty minutes ago and the Grove should have opened its arms to her by now. Instead, the Heartstone Pendant burned against her sternum, the thumbnail-sized crimson gemstone pulsing in arrhythmic thumps that matched nothing in her racing heart. She pulled her wool coat tighter—her black hair, usually straight as a blade to her shoulders, had gone limp and heavy with the humidity that clung to this pocket of air between worlds. She'd come because the pulse had woken her at two in the morning, three nights after she'd started the delivery job for Golden Empress, three nights after she'd fled the flat above Silas' bar with nothing but her bike panniers and the clothes on her back. The pendant had never acted like this. Not since the anonymous package arrived on her first day in London, not since she'd escaped Cardiff and Evan and the Pre-Law future her father Brendan had mapped out for her, not since she'd learned that some doors, once opened, could not be closed from the inside. The wildflowers should have been blooming. That was the immutable rule of the Fae Grove, the hidden clearing that existed in a fold between Earth and the Fae realm, where foxgloves and bluebells and meadowsweet defied the seasons. But tonight, the clearing lay barren beneath a moon that hung too low and too still in the sky. Brown earth cracked with frost. Dead stalks stood like the bones of some great beast. And the silence was absolute, a pressure against her eardrums so complete she could hear the blood rushing in her ears, a sound like distant surf against a shore that wasn't there. She stopped. Her boots crunched on ice that hadn't been there a second ago. "Hello?" Her voice didn't carry. It died in the dark between the oaks, swallowed by something that felt like velvet or perhaps the inside of a throat. Rory checked her watch. 2:47 AM. She'd entered the Grove at 2:15, pressing through the gap in the standing stones with her left hand—always her left, tracing the crescent scar on her wrist, the pale mark she'd carried since she was seven, falling from the climbing frame in her parents' Cardiff garden. Thirty-two minutes to walk what should have taken five. The time dilation here was legendary among the Fae-touched, but never like this. Never so aggressive, so hungry. She felt it in her bones, a stretching sensation, as if she were aging a year in the space between one breath and the next. The pendant flared. The crimson light seeped through the fabric of her blouse, casting her shadow long and wrong against the trunk of the nearest oak. The shadow had too many limbs. Three arms, or four, waving in patterns that didn't match her movements. She spun. Nothing. Just the standing stones, and beyond them, the dark heart of Richmond Park where the deer usually slept. But the deer weren't sleeping tonight. She could hear them breathing. Heavy, wet, rhythmic. Too close. Circling. The sound came from everywhere at once, from the roots of the trees and the spaces between the stones. Rory's training—her father's voice booming in her head about evidence and logic, her mother Jennifer's lessons in Welsh poetry about the thin places—fought with the primitive certainty that something in the Grove had noticed her. The wildflowers blooming year-round should have comforted her. Instead, their absence made the air feel vacuum-sealed, wrong. A sound. Not from the deer. From the dead stalks at her feet. She looked down. They were swaying. No wind. No breeze. Just the slow, deliberate tilt of stems toward her boots, like sunflowers tracking a sun that wasn't there. The scent hit her then—jasmine, overripe and cloying, mixed with the copper tang of blood that wasn't hers, and something else, something sweet and rotting like fruit left too long in the sun. "Rory." Her name. Whispered from everywhere and nowhere. It sounded like her mother's voice—Jennifer, the Welsh teacher with her soft Cardiff lilt—but distorted, as if spoken through water or from the bottom of a well. Or perhaps it was Eva, her childhood friend who'd pulled her to London, or Silas, who poured her pints at the bar below her flat, or Evan, whose voice had once been loving before it curdled into something sharp and dangerous. She clutched the pendant. The silver chain bit into her palm, cold and unyielding. "I'm here," she said, her voice steady despite the hammering of her heart against her ribs. She'd learned to be cool-headed, to think outside the box, even when Evan had been screaming in her face in their shared flat in Cathays, even when the bruises had bloomed purple on her arms. She could do this. She could survive this. She was twenty-five years old and she had already survived worse than ghosts. The shadows between the standing stones deepened. They weren't shadows anymore. They were shapes. Tall, thin, wrong-jointed things that moved with the jerking stop-motion of a broken film reel, of time stuttering. She caught them only in her peripheral vision—her bright blue eyes straining to focus on the darkness, finding nothing but the suggestion of elbows bending backward, of heads tilted at angles that would have snapped a human neck, of fingers that were too long, too many, clicking together like knitting needles. The pendant pulsed again. Harder. The warmth became heat, then pain, searing against her skin. It was guiding her deeper. Or warning her. Or both. She ran. Her boots found the path she'd walked a thousand times since Eva had shown her the Grove, the dirt track that led to the heart of Isolde's grove, but the trees were wrong now. The oaks had grown faces, or the bark had swollen into the suggestion of faces—eyes that blinked when she wasn't looking directly at them, mouths that opened in silent screams. The wildflowers that bloomed year-round were here, suddenly, erupting from the frost in a wave of color that hurt to look at: crimson roses the size of her head, petals thick as velvet, dripping with dew that steamed in the freezing air, and lilies that glowed with their own pale, sickly light. Footsteps behind her. Not echoing her pace. Matching it exactly, a half-second delayed, so that when she stopped, they stopped, and when she walked, they walked, and she could never quite turn fast enough to see them, only catch the flash of black hair identical to her own, or the glint of blue eyes in the dark. Rory reached the boundary stones. The ancient oak markers that defined the edge of the Grove. She could see the sodium glow of the car park beyond them, could smell the exhaust and the real world, the ordinary London night that didn't know about pockets of stolen time. She lunged for the gap between the seventh and first stone, the threshold she'd crossed so many times before. Her shoulder hit something solid. Invisible and immovable. She bounced back, stumbled, and fell onto her knees in the frost. The scar on her left wrist screamed against the cold, the crescent moon of pale tissue throbbing with phantom pain. She looked up. The Grove wasn't a clearing anymore. It was a corridor, a throat. The oaks had grown together overhead, their branches knitting into a cathedral ceiling that shouldn't exist, and the standing stones had shifted while she wasn't looking, forming a perfect circle around her, a cage of ancient wood and older stone. The wildflowers were at her feet now, blooming up through the frost in spiraling columns, their stems wrapping around her ankles like cold, seeking fingers. The pendant was burning. She tore it from her neck. The silver chain left a red mark across her throat, a brand. The crimson gemstone pulsed once, twice, in her palm, and then the light guttered and died. Darkness. Absolute, suffocating, pressing against her eyeballs. "You can't leave," the voice said. It was her own voice now, coming from her own throat but layered with harmonics, with the voices of everyone she'd ever loved and feared. "You opened the door. You felt the pulse. You came to investigate. You have to close it." Rory stood. Her legs shook, but she stood. She was twenty-five years old, she'd survived an abusive relationship, she'd moved to a city where she knew no one and started over with nothing but a delivery bike and a half-finished degree, she'd escaped the life her father had planned and the man who had tried to break her. She was not afraid of the dark. But she was afraid of the thing standing in the center of the stone circle. It wore her face. Or it wore the face she might have had, if she'd stayed in Cardiff, if she'd married Evan, if she'd let her father's expectations shape her into something smaller and quieter and safer. It was her, but stretched, elongated by the wrong time of the Grove, the proportions all wrong, the black hair hanging to the ground in a waterfall of oil and shadow, the bright blue eyes reflecting no light, hollow as wells. "You're not real," Rory said. Her voice didn't shake. She touched the scar on her wrist, grounding herself in the pain, in the physical fact of her body. "You're a trick of the light. A temporal anomaly. A hallucination brought on by sensory deprivation and hypothermia. I don't believe in ghosts." The thing smiled. Its mouth was too wide, the lips peeling back to show teeth that were too white, too numerous, clicking together like castanets. "You came here for a reason, Aurora. You felt it in your bones when you took the job. The Golden Empress is a front. Yu-Fei Cheung knows. He sends you out on deliveries at night because you're Fae-touched, because you can feel the Hel portals opening. And tonight, one is opening in the Grove. Tonight, you're the key." Rory looked down at the Heartstone in her hand. It was warm again, pulsing with a crimson light that bled through her fingers, painting the frost around her knees red as blood. The pendant had been given to her by an unknown benefactor, left on her doorstep with no note, no explanation. She'd thought it was a gift from Eva, or perhaps a practical joke. She'd never imagined it was a lure. "I came here to stop it," she said. The words tasted like ash. "I came here to close the portal. To protect myself. To protect London." "Then close it," the thing whispered, and it stepped forward, and the wildflowers bloomed between them, year-round flowers opening in a wave that moved faster than sound, their petals brushing against her cheeks like cold, wet kisses, and Rory realized with a cold certainty that settled in her stomach like ice that she was not alone, had never been alone in the Grove tonight, and the thing wearing her face was only the first of many, and the Hel portal was opening not behind her, but inside her, and she had brought the darkness here herself. She raised the pendant. The light flared, crimson and blinding. And she screamed.
created_at"2026-10-07T09:12:28.969Z" 10/7/2026, 9:12:28 AM
model"mistralai/mistral-large-4-0-20261006"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency575
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time181338
tokens_prompt792
tokens_completion9299
native_tokens_prompt755
native_tokens_completion8447
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning6490
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
service_tier"default"
usage0.01816763
router(null)
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.21.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1791364348-KE43b2VcVqym0HOE2ZNW"
session_id(null)
preset_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1791364348-FUNF7RvMmWsHFMbeO9iN"
upstream_id"9385a443f91b40a2b7daf493ed371e2e"
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"19b3b5d7-23f6-4b63-8109-64a6cc37d996"
id"9385a443f91b40a2b7daf493ed371e2e"
is_byokfalse
latency574
model_permaslug"mistralai/mistral-large-4-0-20261006"
provider_name"Mistral"
status200
total_cost0.01816763
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Mistral"
response_cache_source_id(null)
data_region"global"
workspace_id"97e315e5-d303-487d-83c1-83180e8a13d4"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags8
adverbTagCount0
adverbTags(empty)
dialogueSentences11
tagDensity0.727
leniency1
rawRatio0
effectiveRatio0
97.41% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount1934
totalAiIsmAdverbs1
found
0
adverb"suddenly"
count1
highlights
0"suddenly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
53.46% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount1934
totalAiIsms18
found
0
word"racing"
count1
1
word"pulse"
count2
2
word"silence"
count1
3
word"velvet"
count2
4
word"tracing"
count1
5
word"rhythmic"
count1
6
word"lilt"
count1
7
word"pulsed"
count2
8
word"warmth"
count1
9
word"searing"
count1
10
word"footsteps"
count1
11
word"echoing"
count1
12
word"glint"
count1
13
word"perfect"
count1
14
word"stomach"
count1
highlights
0"racing"
1"pulse"
2"silence"
3"velvet"
4"tracing"
5"rhythmic"
6"lilt"
7"pulsed"
8"warmth"
9"searing"
10"footsteps"
11"echoing"
12"glint"
13"perfect"
14"stomach"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells1
narrationSentences123
matches
0"was afraid"
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount2
hedgeCount1
narrationSentences123
filterMatches
0"watch"
1"feel"
hedgeMatches
0"tried to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences128
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen97
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords1925
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions10
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
100.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions55
wordCount1778
uniqueNames24
maxNameDensity0.51
worstName"Grove"
maxWindowNameDensity1.5
worstWindowName"Fae"
discoveredNames
Richmond2
Park2
Grove9
Heartstone2
Pendant1
Golden1
Empress1
London3
Cardiff3
Evan4
Pre-Law1
Brendan1
Fae3
Earth1
Thirty-two1
Fae-touched1
Jennifer2
Welsh2
Eva3
Silas1
Cathays1
Isolde1
Rory8
Hel1
persons
0"Pendant"
1"Evan"
2"Brendan"
3"Earth"
4"Jennifer"
5"Eva"
6"Silas"
7"Isolde"
8"Rory"
places
0"Richmond"
1"Park"
2"Grove"
3"Heartstone"
4"London"
5"Cardiff"
6"Fae"
7"Welsh"
8"Cathays"
globalScore1
windowScore1
81.51% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences73
glossingSentenceCount2
matches
0"felt like velvet or perhaps the inside"
1"sounded like her mother's voice—Jennifer,"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches1
per1kWords0.519
wordCount1925
matches
0"not behind her, but inside her"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences128
matches
0"learned that some"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs35
mean55
std34.91
cv0.635
sampleLengths
0125
1100
2104
314
427
5104
644
72
855
952
1013
1161
121
1375
1486
1583
1625
172
18116
1957
2067
2143
2277
234
2441
2548
2665
2715
2878
2951
3083
3172
3226
3396
3413
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount1
totalSentences123
matches
0"been given"
2.47% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount8
totalVerbs270
matches
0"were aging"
1"weren't sleeping"
2"were swaying"
3"was guiding"
4"wasn't looking"
5"wasn't looking"
6"was burning"
7"was opening"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount9
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences7
totalSentences128
ratio0.055
matches
0"She pulled her wool coat tighter—her black hair, usually straight as a blade to her shoulders, had gone limp and heavy with the humidity that clung to this pocket of air between worlds."
1"She'd entered the Grove at 2:15, pressing through the gap in the standing stones with her left hand—always her left, tracing the crescent scar on her wrist, the pale mark she'd carried since she was seven, falling from the climbing frame in her parents' Cardiff garden."
2"Rory's training—her father's voice booming in her head about evidence and logic, her mother Jennifer's lessons in Welsh poetry about the thin places—fought with the primitive certainty that something in the Grove had noticed her."
3"The scent hit her then—jasmine, overripe and cloying, mixed with the copper tang of blood that wasn't hers, and something else, something sweet and rotting like fruit left too long in the sun."
4"It sounded like her mother's voice—Jennifer, the Welsh teacher with her soft Cardiff lilt—but distorted, as if spoken through water or from the bottom of a well."
5"She caught them only in her peripheral vision—her bright blue eyes straining to focus on the darkness, finding nothing but the suggestion of elbows bending backward, of heads tilted at angles that would have snapped a human neck, of fingers that were too long, too many, clicking together like knitting needles."
6"The oaks had grown faces, or the bark had swollen into the suggestion of faces—eyes that blinked when she wasn't looking directly at them, mouths that opened in silent screams."
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount271
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount9
adverbRatio0.033210332103321034
lyAdverbCount3
lyAdverbRatio0.01107011070110701
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences128
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences128
mean15.04
std15.77
cv1.049
sampleLengths
027
142
223
333
446
57
647
76
832
919
105
1110
1232
132
1412
155
1622
174
182
1946
209
2113
225
2325
243
2523
266
2712
282
291
3018
316
325
333
342
351
3619
3735
388
399
402
414
427
433
443
452
462
4718
4833
491
39.58% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats16
diversityRatio0.3125
totalSentences128
uniqueOpeners40
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount4
totalSentences106
matches
0"Instead, the Heartstone Pendant burned"
1"Just the standing stones, and"
2"Instead, their absence made the"
3"Just the slow, deliberate tilt"
ratio0.038
61.51% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount42
totalSentences106
matches
0"She pulled her wool coat"
1"She'd come because the pulse"
2"Her boots crunched on ice"
3"Her voice didn't carry"
4"It died in the dark"
5"She'd entered the Grove at"
6"She felt it in her"
7"She could hear them breathing."
8"She looked down."
9"They were swaying."
10"It sounded like her mother's"
11"She clutched the pendant."
12"she said, her voice steady"
13"She'd learned to be cool-headed,"
14"She could do this."
15"She could survive this."
16"She was twenty-five years old"
17"They weren't shadows anymore."
18"They were shapes."
19"She caught them only in"
ratio0.396
87.36% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount79
totalSentences106
matches
0"Rory counted the oak standing"
1"She pulled her wool coat"
2"She'd come because the pulse"
3"The pendant had never acted"
4"The wildflowers should have been"
5"That was the immutable rule"
6"Brown earth cracked with frost."
7"Her boots crunched on ice"
8"Her voice didn't carry"
9"It died in the dark"
10"Rory checked her watch."
11"She'd entered the Grove at"
12"The time dilation here was"
13"She felt it in her"
14"The pendant flared."
15"The crimson light seeped through"
16"The shadow had too many"
17"She could hear them breathing."
18"The sound came from everywhere"
19"Rory's training—her father's voice booming"
ratio0.745
0.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount0
totalSentences106
matches(empty)
ratio0
0.00% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences53
technicalSentenceCount19
matches
0"Rory counted the oak standing stones as she always did when crossing the threshold, her breath coming in shallow clouds that vanished before they reached her li…"
1"Seven ancient markers, ringed in moss that should have glowed faintly silver under the sodium lights of the Richmond Park car park, though she'd abandoned the c…"
2"Instead, the Heartstone Pendant burned against her sternum, the thumbnail-sized crimson gemstone pulsing in arrhythmic thumps that matched nothing in her racing…"
3"She pulled her wool coat tighter—her black hair, usually straight as a blade to her shoulders, had gone limp and heavy with the humidity that clung to this pock…"
4"But tonight, the clearing lay barren beneath a moon that hung too low and too still in the sky."
5"And the silence was absolute, a pressure against her eardrums so complete she could hear the blood rushing in her ears, a sound like distant surf against a shor…"
6"She felt it in her bones, a stretching sensation, as if she were aging a year in the space between one breath and the next."
7"Rory's training—her father's voice booming in her head about evidence and logic, her mother Jennifer's lessons in Welsh poetry about the thin places—fought with…"
8"Just the slow, deliberate tilt of stems toward her boots, like sunflowers tracking a sun that wasn't there."
9"The scent hit her then—jasmine, overripe and cloying, mixed with the copper tang of blood that wasn't hers, and something else, something sweet and rotting like…"
10"It sounded like her mother's voice—Jennifer, the Welsh teacher with her soft Cardiff lilt—but distorted, as if spoken through water or from the bottom of a well…"
11"Or perhaps it was Eva, her childhood friend who'd pulled her to London, or Silas, who poured her pints at the bar below her flat, or Evan, whose voice had once …"
12"Tall, thin, wrong-jointed things that moved with the jerking stop-motion of a broken film reel, of time stuttering."
13"She caught them only in her peripheral vision—her bright blue eyes straining to focus on the darkness, finding nothing but the suggestion of elbows bending back…"
14"The wildflowers that bloomed year-round were here, suddenly, erupting from the frost in a wave of color that hurt to look at: crimson roses the size of her head…"
15"The oaks had grown together overhead, their branches knitting into a cathedral ceiling that shouldn't exist, and the standing stones had shifted while she wasn'…"
16"She was twenty-five years old, she'd survived an abusive relationship, she'd moved to a city where she knew no one and started over with nothing but a delivery …"
17"Its mouth was too wide, the lips peeling back to show teeth that were too white, too numerous, clicking together like castanets."
18"It was warm again, pulsing with a crimson light that bled through her fingers, painting the frost around her knees red as blood."
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags8
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
59.09% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags5
fancyCount1
fancyTags
0"the thing whispered (whisper)"
dialogueSentences11
tagDensity0.455
leniency0.909
rawRatio0.2
effectiveRatio0.182
79.4132%