Run: 2026-10-13-01M4V1TTK3TZ82Z3JC7RH18AA1

Run Details

Duration:
43.9s
Cost:
$0.030822
Provider:
Google AI Studio

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The green neon sign of The Raven’s Nest buzzed against the Soho drizzle, casting a sickly, emerald sheen over the wet cobblestones outside. Inside, the air was thick with the scent of lemon oil, stale ale, and the damp wool of Londoners seeking refuge from a Tuesday night rain. Rory sat at the far end of the mahogany bar, her thermal delivery bag tucked neatly between her boots. Her shoulders ached from four hours of navigating traffic for the Golden Empress, and the persistent aroma of Yu-Fei Cheung’s ginger and scallion sauce still clung to the cuffs of her jacket. Behind the counter, Silas moved with his habitual, unhurried grace. A slight hitch in his left leg—the permanent souvenir of a bad night in Prague years ago—gave his gait a rhythmic, pendulum quality as he carried a tray of clean tumblers toward the taps. His grey-streaked auburn hair caught the amber glow of the wall sconces, his matching beard neatly trimmed. He didn’t look like a retired intelligence operative; he looked like a man who cared deeply about the polish on his glassware. Yet Rory knew his hazel eyes missed nothing. They were currently fixed on the heavy oak door at the front of the pub. The bell above the entrance chimed, a dull brass note that usually heralded regulars or lost tourists. Rory didn't bother looking up from the rim of her soda water. She was tracing the small, crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist with her thumb, her mind half-occupied with the rent due on the flat upstairs and the strange package Silas had asked her to courier the following morning. Then a voice cut through the low murmur of the bar. It carried the unmistakable, musical cadence of South Wales, smoothed at the edges by years of expensive elocution lessons. "A gin and tonic, please. Hendrick’s, if you have it. And somewhere dry to hang an umbrella, if such a thing exists in this city." Rory’s thumb froze against her wrist. Her spine went rigid, the muscle memory of another life snapping her posture straight before her brain fully registered the sound. Silas’s silver signet ring clinked softly against the glass he was wiping. His gaze shifted from the newcomer to Rory, a silent question passing across his weathered face. Rory gave a fractional shake of her head—an instinctual *stand down* she had learned from watching him—and slowly swiveled on her stool. Standing by the bar, shaking droplets of rain from a tailored charcoal trench coat, was Callum Hughes. Four years ago, Callum had been a perpetually exhausted boy in a frayed Cardiff University hoodie, surviving on instant coffee and digestives while they quizzed each other on tort law in the library basement. The man standing in the dim light of the Nest wore a bespoke suit that probably cost more than Rory’s moped. His dark curls, once an unruly mop he pushed back with ink-stained fingers, were cropped short and styled with severe precision. He looked older than twenty-five. He looked settled, polished, and entirely hollowed out in the exact way her father’s barrister friends always looked. As Silas stepped away to fetch the Hendrick's, Callum turned to scan the room, taking in the framed black-and-white photographs and the yellowed, vintage maps that papered the walls. His eyes swept past the bookshelf at the back—the one Rory knew swung inward to a soundproofed room—and landed squarely on her. Recognition didn't hit him all at once. First came a polite, strangers-in-a-bar nod. Then his brow furrowed, taking in the straight, shoulder-length black hair, the sharp jawline, and finally the bright blue eyes that had once stared across a study table at him for three years straight. "Aurora?" he breathed. No one in London called her that. To the restaurant staff, she was Carter. To Silas, she was Rory. To a few dangerous people in the back room, she was Laila. Hearing her given name spoken in that familiar Welsh lilt felt like a physical blow to the sternum. "Hello, Cal," she said, keeping her voice level, anchoring herself in the cool-headed detachment that had kept her alive since leaving Cardiff. He crossed the short distance between them, his polished Oxfords whispering against the worn floorboards. Up close, the transformation was even more jarring. He smelled of cedarwood cologne instead of rain and cheap tobacco. "God, it is you," Callum said, stopping a pace away as if unsure whether he was allowed to touch her. His hands hovered near the lapels of his coat. "I thought—well, nobody knew where you went. You just vanished before finals." "I relocated," Rory said smoothly, gesturing to the empty stool beside her. "Have a seat. You're dripping on Silas’s floor." Callum sat, though he looked faintly ridiculous perched on the scarred wooden stool in his immaculate suit. Silas returned, sliding the gin and tonic onto a coaster with his right hand, the silver signet ring catching the light. He lingered for a beat, his hazel eyes weighing Callum’s posture, the cut of his clothes, the micro-expressions tightening around his mouth. "You alright here, Rory?" Silas asked, his voice a low gravel. "Fine, Si. Thank you," Rory said. Silas gave a curt nod and limped back toward the far end of the bar, out of immediate earshot, though Rory knew he could read lips from thirty paces. Callum watched him go, a flicker of confusion crossing his face before he turned back to her. "'Rory,'" he repeated, testing the syllables. "You always hated it when your dad’s clerks shortened your name." "I grew out of a lot of things," she said, wrapping her fingers around her glass. Her left sleeve rode up slightly, exposing the pale crescent on her wrist. Callum’s eyes dropped to it—he knew the story of the childhood fall that had put it there—and then travelled down to the scuffed leather of her boots and the boxy, grease-stained thermal bag resting by her feet. She watched him do the math. Aurora Carter, daughter of Brendan Carter KC and Jennifer Ellis, the cleverest girl in the Pre-Law cohort, sitting in a shadowy Soho pub in courier gear. The pity that softened his eyes was infinitely worse than shock. "What happened to you?" Callum asked softly. The slick barrister veneer cracked, revealing a flash of the boy who used to share his umbrella with her walking down Cathays Terrace. "Your parents told everyone you were taking a gap year in Dublin. Then Eva stopped answering my texts. It was like you fell off the edge of the earth." The mention of Eva—the lifeline who had dragged Rory out of Wales when the bruises from Evan’s temper started getting harder to hide—sent a cold spike through Rory’s chest. Callum had known Evan, of course. Everyone in their circle had. Evan had been charming, brilliant, the golden boy of the student union. Callum had raised a pint with him a dozen times. "Dublin was a nice story," Rory said, her tone light, deflective. "Brendan always did know how to manage a narrative for the jury. How is my father?" Callum winced slightly, taking a sip of his gin. "Formidable. He actually spoke to my chambers last month. I'm at Lincoln's Inn now, Aurora. Commercial litigation." He paused, swirling the ice in his glass. "That was supposed to be our plan, wasn't it? Come down to London, survive pupilage together, complain about the hours over cheap curry." "It was a plan," Rory agreed. She looked at him—really looked at him—and saw the exhaustion beneath his tailored armour. There were dark hollows under his eyes, and he held his shoulders with a brittle tension. He had stayed on the tracks she had thrown herself off of, and the train had carried him right where they’d been promised it would go. Yet he looked like a man serving a sentence. "Do you like it?" Callum let out a breath that wasn't quite a laugh. He stared at a framed map of nineteenth-century Prague hanging behind the bottles of scotch. "I bill seventy hours a week defending shipping conglomerates. Last week, I missed my sister’s wedding rehearsal because a partner wanted a brief restructured by midnight. I have a flat in Canary Wharf that I only ever see in the dark." He turned his head to look at her, his expression raw. "I did everything right, Aurora. Everything we were told to do. And half the time I feel like I’m watching someone else’s life through a window." The honesty of it disarmed her. She had braced herself for his superiority, for the smugness of the boy who had finished the race she’d abandoned. Instead, she found a mirror of a different kind of trap. "Why didn't you say goodbye?" Callum asked, his voice dropping so low it barely cleared the hum of the neon sign outside. "Even just a text. I thought I’d done something wrong. For months, I kept going over our last study session, wondering why you didn't trust me." Rory looked down at her hands. The truth sat at the back of her throat, heavy and metallic. *Because Evan broke two of my ribs on a Thursday, and on Friday I saw you laughing with him on the steps of the law building.* Callum hadn't known. Evan had been too careful, and Rory had been too proud, too conditioned by her upbringing to admit that she—cool-headed, brilliant Aurora—had walked into a cage and locked the door behind herself. To tell Callum then would have meant shattering the world she was trying to flee; to tell him now would mean dragging her current life into the light where it didn't belong. She wasn't the girl who needed rescuing anymore. She was the woman who worked for Yu-Fei by day and ran intelligence errands for a spymaster by night, thinking her way out of corners that would make a High Court judge weep. "It wasn't about you, Cal," she said quietly. For the first time since he’d walked in, she let the defensive chill drop from her voice, offering him the only scrap of truth she could afford. "My life in Cardiff got very small, very fast. If I hadn't left the way I did—cutting everything off all at once—I never would have made it out at all." Callum studied her face. The boy from the library would have pushed, would have demanded logic and evidence and a neat timeline of facts. The man from Lincoln's Inn just looked at the set of her jaw, the calm steadiness in her bright blue eyes, and seemed to recognize a closed door when he saw one. "Evan told us you’d had a breakdown," Callum murmured, his gaze dropping to the scarred mahogany between them. "That the pressure got to you. I believed him. God, Aurora, I’m sorry. I don't even know what I'm apologizing for, just... I should have looked harder." "No," Rory said firmly, and she meant it. "You shouldn't have. You had a life to build." "And look at you," he said, a faint, sad smile touching his mouth. "Delivering takeaways in Soho. Are you happy, at least? Did running away work?" Rory glanced down the bar. Silas was pretending to organize receipts by the till, his silver ring glinting, a silent guardian over the strangest, most dangerous, most fiercely independent life she could have ever imagined. She thought of her tiny flat upstairs, the smell of old paper in the secret room behind the bookshelf, the thrill of outsmarting people who thought she was just a girl on a moped. She had scars, and she had ghosts, and she was entirely her own. "I'm not running anymore, Cal," she said. Callum nodded slowly. He finished the rest of his gin in two long swallows and set the glass down with a decisive click. The bridge between them hadn't been rebuilt; if anything, the conversation had only illuminated the sheer depth of the canyon that time and secrecy had carved between their twenties. They were two survivors of the same history, speaking different languages now. He stood up, smoothing the front of his trench coat, the barrister settling back into his bones. He reached into his breast pocket, pulled out a heavy cream business card, and laid it on the bar beside her soda water. "In case you ever need a lawyer," he said, trying for a joke that landed heavy and damp between them. "Or just a drink with someone who remembers when you used to highlight your textbooks in four different colours." "Take care of yourself, Callum," Rory said, leaving the card on the wood. "Go home before midnight tonight." He gave her a tight, fleeting smile, touched two fingers to his brow in an old, half-forgotten salute from their student days, and walked back out into the Soho rain. The brass bell chimed, and the green neon swallowed his silhouette. Silence settled back over the end of the bar. A moment later, the uneven rhythm of Silas’s footsteps approached. He stopped opposite her, picking up Callum’s empty glass. "A ghost?" Silas asked quietly. Rory picked up the cream business card, looked at the embossed lettering for a long second, and then slipped it into the pocket of her damp delivery jacket. "Just someone I used to know," Rory said, and signaled for another soda.
created_at"2026-10-13T16:34:19.887Z" 10/13/2026, 4:34:19 PM
model"google/gemini-4-argon-20261013"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1473
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time43841
tokens_prompt846
tokens_completion3279
native_tokens_prompt876
native_tokens_completion2907
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning0
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"STOP"
service_tier(null)
usage0.030822
router(null)
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.21.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1791909259-GmrGe6JOHfBQgm0RtTFH"
session_id(null)
preset_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1791909259-cJOv4YU9gzO7M0tC5UjO"
upstream_id"i13OaoTfPJ3K_PUPoLCG6Qk"
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"4934736c-d662-4fe3-98eb-56def8c8c174"
id"i13OaoTfPJ3K_PUPoLCG6Qk"
is_byokfalse
latency1473
model_permaslug"google/gemini-4-argon-20261013"
provider_name"Google AI Studio"
status200
total_cost0.030822
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Google AI Studio"
response_cache_source_id(null)
data_region"global"
workspace_id"97e315e5-d303-487d-83c1-83180e8a13d4"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
0.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags23
adverbTagCount5
adverbTags
0"Rory said smoothly [smoothly]"
1"Callum asked softly [softly]"
2"she said quietly [quietly]"
3"Rory said firmly [firmly]"
4"Silas asked quietly [quietly]"
dialogueSentences39
tagDensity0.59
leniency1
rawRatio0.217
effectiveRatio0.217
79.99% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2249
totalAiIsmAdverbs9
found
0
adverb"softly"
count2
1
adverb"slowly"
count2
2
adverb"slightly"
count2
3
adverb"really"
count1
4
adverb"very"
count2
highlights
0"softly"
1"slowly"
2"slightly"
3"really"
4"very"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
66.65% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2249
totalAiIsms15
found
0
word"navigating"
count1
1
word"rhythmic"
count1
2
word"tracing"
count1
3
word"furrowed"
count1
4
word"familiar"
count1
5
word"lilt"
count1
6
word"flicker"
count1
7
word"tension"
count1
8
word"race"
count1
9
word"chill"
count1
10
word"firmly"
count1
11
word"glinting"
count1
12
word"fleeting"
count1
13
word"silence"
count1
14
word"footsteps"
count1
highlights
0"navigating"
1"rhythmic"
2"tracing"
3"furrowed"
4"familiar"
5"lilt"
6"flicker"
7"tension"
8"race"
9"chill"
10"firmly"
11"glinting"
12"fleeting"
13"silence"
14"footsteps"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches2
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"let out a breath"
count1
1
label"air was thick with"
count1
highlights
0"let out a breath"
1"the air was thick with"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells1
narrationSentences117
matches
0"a flicker of confusion"
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount1
narrationSentences117
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences133
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen52
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans2
markdownWords28
totalWords2231
ratio0.013
matches
0"stand down"
1"Because Evan broke two of my ribs on a Thursday, and on Friday I saw you laughing with him on the steps of the law building."
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions24
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
83.33% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions104
wordCount1804
uniqueNames39
maxNameDensity1.27
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity2.5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Raven1
Nest2
Soho3
Londoners1
Tuesday1
Golden1
Empress1
Yu-Fei2
Cheung1
Silas11
Prague2
Rory23
South1
Wales2
Callum20
Hughes1
Cardiff2
University1
Hendrick1
London1
Carter3
Laila1
Welsh1
Oxfords1
Brendan1
Jennifer1
Ellis1
Pre-Law1
Cathays1
Terrace1
Eva1
Evan5
Thursday1
Friday1
Aurora2
High1
Court1
Lincoln1
Inn1
persons
0"Raven"
1"Nest"
2"Londoners"
3"Yu-Fei"
4"Cheung"
5"Silas"
6"Rory"
7"Callum"
8"Hughes"
9"Hendrick"
10"Carter"
11"Laila"
12"Brendan"
13"Jennifer"
14"Ellis"
15"Eva"
16"Evan"
17"Aurora"
18"Lincoln"
19"Inn"
places
0"Soho"
1"Tuesday"
2"Prague"
3"South"
4"Wales"
5"Cardiff"
6"London"
7"Cathays"
8"Terrace"
globalScore0.863
windowScore0.833
51.96% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences102
glossingSentenceCount4
matches
0"looked like a man who cared deeply about"
1"felt like a physical blow to the sternu"
2"looked like a man serving a sentence"
3"quite a laugh"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches0
per1kWords0
wordCount2231
matches(empty)
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences133
matches
0"admit that she"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs50
mean44.62
std27.14
cv0.608
sampleLengths
0100
1106
267
330
425
527
650
717
899
951
1047
113
1249
1322
1434
1541
1620
1760
1811
196
2029
2134
2266
2343
2459
2562
2627
2757
2875
29103
3037
3148
3244
33108
3465
3556
3645
3717
3826
3982
407
4164
4240
4339
4418
4541
4628
475
4828
4913
93.27% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount4
totalSentences117
matches
0"were cropped"
1"was allowed"
2"been promised"
3"been rebuilt"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount4
totalVerbs286
matches
0"was tracing"
1"was wiping"
2"was trying"
3"was pretending"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount15
semicolonCount3
flaggedSentences10
totalSentences133
ratio0.075
matches
0"A slight hitch in his left leg—the permanent souvenir of a bad night in Prague years ago—gave his gait a rhythmic, pendulum quality as he carried a tray of clean tumblers toward the taps."
1"He didn’t look like a retired intelligence operative; he looked like a man who cared deeply about the polish on his glassware."
2"Rory gave a fractional shake of her head—an instinctual *stand down* she had learned from watching him—and slowly swiveled on her stool."
3"His eyes swept past the bookshelf at the back—the one Rory knew swung inward to a soundproofed room—and landed squarely on her."
4"Callum’s eyes dropped to it—he knew the story of the childhood fall that had put it there—and then travelled down to the scuffed leather of her boots and the boxy, grease-stained thermal bag resting by her feet."
5"The mention of Eva—the lifeline who had dragged Rory out of Wales when the bruises from Evan’s temper started getting harder to hide—sent a cold spike through Rory’s chest."
6"She looked at him—really looked at him—and saw the exhaustion beneath his tailored armour."
7"Evan had been too careful, and Rory had been too proud, too conditioned by her upbringing to admit that she—cool-headed, brilliant Aurora—had walked into a cage and locked the door behind herself."
8"To tell Callum then would have meant shattering the world she was trying to flee; to tell him now would mean dragging her current life into the light where it didn't belong."
9"The bridge between them hadn't been rebuilt; if anything, the conversation had only illuminated the sheer depth of the canyon that time and secrecy had carved between their twenties."
94.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1837
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"small, crescent-shaped scar"
adverbCount70
adverbRatio0.03810560696788242
lyAdverbCount31
lyAdverbRatio0.016875340228633642
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences133
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences133
mean16.77
std9.5
cv0.566
sampleLengths
023
126
219
332
410
534
617
722
88
915
1017
1112
1238
1311
1419
1525
166
1721
1812
1916
2022
2117
2234
2321
2421
255
2618
2729
2822
297
306
3134
323
337
347
355
3612
3718
3822
3915
408
4111
4220
439
4412
4512
468
4717
4821
4922
62.16% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats9
diversityRatio0.41353383458646614
totalSentences133
uniqueOpeners55
88.50% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount3
totalSentences113
matches
0"Then a voice cut through"
1"Then his brow furrowed, taking"
2"Instead, she found a mirror"
ratio0.027
78.41% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount40
totalSentences113
matches
0"Her shoulders ached from four"
1"His grey-streaked auburn hair caught"
2"He didn’t look like a"
3"They were currently fixed on"
4"She was tracing the small,"
5"It carried the unmistakable, musical"
6"Her spine went rigid, the"
7"His gaze shifted from the"
8"His dark curls, once an"
9"He looked older than twenty-five."
10"He looked settled, polished, and"
11"His eyes swept past the"
12"she said, keeping her voice"
13"He crossed the short distance"
14"He smelled of cedarwood cologne"
15"His hands hovered near the"
16"He lingered for a beat,"
17"he repeated, testing the syllables"
18"she said, wrapping her fingers"
19"Her left sleeve rode up"
ratio0.354
57.35% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount91
totalSentences113
matches
0"The green neon sign of"
1"Rory sat at the far"
2"Her shoulders ached from four"
3"A slight hitch in his"
4"His grey-streaked auburn hair caught"
5"He didn’t look like a"
6"They were currently fixed on"
7"The bell above the entrance"
8"Rory didn't bother looking up"
9"She was tracing the small,"
10"It carried the unmistakable, musical"
11"Rory’s thumb froze against her"
12"Her spine went rigid, the"
13"Silas’s silver signet ring clinked"
14"His gaze shifted from the"
15"Rory gave a fractional shake"
16"The man standing in the"
17"His dark curls, once an"
18"He looked older than twenty-five."
19"He looked settled, polished, and"
ratio0.805
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount5
totalSentences113
matches
0"To the restaurant staff, she"
1"To Silas, she was Rory."
2"To a few dangerous people"
3"*Because Evan broke two of"
4"To tell Callum then would"
ratio0.044
81.63% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences70
technicalSentenceCount6
matches
0"He didn’t look like a retired intelligence operative; he looked like a man who cared deeply about the polish on his glassware."
1"Then his brow furrowed, taking in the straight, shoulder-length black hair, the sharp jawline, and finally the bright blue eyes that had once stared across a st…"
2"Callum’s eyes dropped to it—he knew the story of the childhood fall that had put it there—and then travelled down to the scuffed leather of her boots and the bo…"
3"The slick barrister veneer cracked, revealing a flash of the boy who used to share his umbrella with her walking down Cathays Terrace."
4"She was the woman who worked for Yu-Fei by day and ran intelligence errands for a spymaster by night, thinking her way out of corners that would make a High Cou…"
5"She thought of her tiny flat upstairs, the smell of old paper in the secret room behind the bookshelf, the thrill of outsmarting people who thought she was just…"
38.04% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags23
uselessAdditionCount4
matches
0"Silas asked, his voice a low gravel"
1"Rory said, her tone light, deflective"
2"He turned, his expression raw"
3"Callum murmured, his gaze dropping to the scarred mahogany between them"
54.76% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags21
fancyCount4
fancyTags
0"he breathed (breathe)"
1"he repeated (repeat)"
2"Rory agreed (agree)"
3"Callum murmured (murmur)"
dialogueSentences39
tagDensity0.538
leniency1
rawRatio0.19
effectiveRatio0.19
81.0015%