Run: 2026-11-11-01M75NND11GVE5K17N2EDXC7DY

Run Details

Duration:
2m 5s
Cost:
$0.064302
Provider:
Google AI Studio

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
Rain had turned the Soho cobbles into slick black glass, smearing the green neon of The Raven's Nest across the pavement like spilled absinthe. Rory pushed through the heavy timber door with her shoulder, shaking October drizzle from the cuffs of her waterproof jacket. Beneath her arm, her moped helmet knocked dull against her hip. She smelled of London exhaust and the sweet, lingering ghost of five-spice and fried ginger from Yu-Fei Cheung's kitchen—twelve deliveries across Bloomsbury and Fitzrovia in four hours, every stairwell steeper than the last. Inside, the street noise died instantly, swallowed by dark wainscoting and low amber lamps. The bar was half-empty, the way it usually was on a Tuesday past ten. Yellowed maritime maps and old colonial surveys climbed the walls beside framed black-and-white photographs of cities that no longer looked the way the lens had caught them: Berlin split by wire, Prague in winter fog, Hong Kong harbor thick with canvas sails. Behind the mahogany counter, Silas Blackwood looked up from a ledger. At six-foot-one, he had a way of occupying space without seeming to claim it, his grey-streaked auburn hair catching the warm light above the optics. He closed the book, resting his right hand flat on the leather cover; the heavy silver signet ring on his finger gave a familiar, muted click against the wood. "Late run," Silas said. His voice was gravel smoothed by river water. "Last ticket went to Great Russell Street," Rory said, setting her helmet on the brass rail at the quiet end of the bar, near the floor-to-ceiling bookshelf whose warped oak frame hid the latch to Silas's back room. She pulled off her damp riding gloves and tucked a wet strand of straight, shoulder-length black hair behind her ear. "Lift was broken. Fourth floor. Four tubs of hot-and-sour soup and not a drop spilled. Yu-Fei ought to canonize me." Silas's neatly trimmed beard twitched at the corner—his version of a grin. Turning to reach for the kettle, he favored his right side, the slight limp in his left leg dragging a fraction of a second behind the rest of him. "Tea?" "Builder's. Leave the bag in until it looks like river mud." She leaned an elbow on the bartop, letting her shoulders drop for the first time since five o'clock. Upstairs, her flat was cold, doubtless, the radiator clanking like an iron lung, her boots waiting to be kicked beneath the narrow hallway table. She was already halfway up the stairs in her head when a man at the corner booth stopped talking in the middle of a sentence. Rory felt the stare before she turned to meet it. Years of navigating bad rooms—first out of fear, later out of training and sheer stubbornness—had given her a precise, cool-headed radar for prolonged attention. Two men in dark city overcoats sat beneath an eighteenth-century map of the Welsh coast. One was already shrugging into his scarf, checking his watch. The other was staring straight at Rory, a tumbler of whiskey suspended an inch above a cardboard coaster. He was twenty-six or twenty-seven, clean-shaven, with sandy hair cut expensive and short, and the pale, slightly doughy exhaustion of someone who billed his life in six-minute increments. "Aurora?" he said. Nobody in Soho knew that name. To Yu-Fei she was Rory; to the regulars in the Nest she was the quiet girl from upstairs; to Silas's less savory acquaintances who slipped behind the bookshelf at midnight, she had occasionally been other names entirely. Hearing those three syllables spoken in the soft, rising cadence of the Vale of Glamorgan felt like stepping onto a stair that wasn't there. Rory didn't flinch. She simply tilted her head, letting her bright blue eyes adjust to the dimness of the corner booth, sorting features the way she sorted street routes. Strip away the Savile Row collar. Add a faded rugby shirt, ink stains on the side of the thumb, and a stack of dog-eared tort law cases carried through Cathays Park in the rain. "Gareth," she said. Gareth Price set his glass down hard enough to slop amber over his knuckles. His colleague muttered something polite about catching the Central line from Tottenham Court Road, clapped Gareth's shoulder, and slipped out into the green-lit drizzle. Neither Rory nor Gareth watched him go. Gareth stood, hesitating halfway across the floorboards as though worried she might bolt if he moved too quickly. Up close, the four years between Cardiff and Soho showed in the fine creases around his eyes. He looked her over—not unkindly, just baffled—taking in the scuffed heavy boots, the fluorescent reflective strip peeling at the hem of her courier jacket, the utter absence of the pearl studs and immaculate wool coats Brendan Carter's daughter used to wear like battle dress. "Christ," Gareth breathed. "It is you. I thought—for a second I thought I'd had one too many." Behind the counter, Silas had stopped reaching for the teabags. His hazel eyes rested on Gareth with stillness and quiet authority, reading posture, pocket weight, and threat level in two heartbeats. He shifted his gaze to Rory, a silent question passing between them. "It's alright, Si," Rory said lightly. "Old classmate. Forget the tea—pour me two fingers of the Bushmills, would you? And whatever Gareth's having." "Laphroaig," Gareth murmured, still looking at her face as if trying to reconcile an old photograph with the street itself. "Double. Put it on mine, please, mate." Silas didn't bristle at being called mate, though the silver signet ring tapped once against the bottle neck before he poured. He brought the glasses down to the quiet end near the bookshelf, limping back toward the taps without hovering, just far enough away to grant privacy and close enough to intervene. "Sit?" Rory gestured to the pair of worn leather stools beside her helmet. They sat. For a long moment, the only sound between them was the low hiss of rain against the front window and Billie Holiday murmuring from a speaker hidden behind a portrait of post-war Vienna. Rory wrapped her fingers around the whiskey glass. As her sleeve rode back an inch, the small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist caught the amber light—a relic from falling through a greenhouse pane at eight years old, back when her mother had bandaged it at the kitchen sink in Cardiff while her father lectured her on carelessness. "Four years," Gareth said finally. He shook his head, a rueful, disbelieving smile tugging at his mouth. "You vanished, Aurora. Middle of Lent term. One week we were splitting judicial review notes in the Trevithick library, and the next week your seat was empty. Professor Davies asked after you. Nobody knew a thing." "It goes Rory now," she said, taking a small, neat sip of the Irish whiskey. It burned clean, washing the taste of wet wool from the back of her throat. "Aurora always sounded like something my father was submitting to the High Court." "Brendan's well?" "Assuming no witness has perjured themselves in Cardiff Crown Court since Sunday, I imagine he's thriving." Her tone wasn't bitter, merely observational, as if discussing weather in another hemisphere. "Mam still sends books at Christmas. Sends them to Eva's flat in Clapham, and Eva brings them round." At the mention of Eva, Gareth looked down into his peat-heavy Scotch, rotating the glass by its base. "I asked Eva where you'd gone, you know. Bumped into her on Queen Street that summer when she came back to pack up her parents' house. She looked right through me. Told me if you wanted to be found, you'd buy a billboard." "Eva never did believe in diplomacy," Rory said, a faint warmth touching her voice. "We thought maybe you'd transferred to Dublin," Gareth went on. "With your dad's family over there. Or taken a year out. Then I got pupilage—well, switched to the solicitors' route in the end, wound up at a commercial firm near Chancery Lane—and I kept half-expecting to see your name on a chambers list in Gray's Inn. You were top five percent of the cohort, Rory. You used to read Lord Bingham judgments for fun." She hadn't read them for fun. She had read them because Brendan Carter spoke the language of precedent over Sunday roast, and if you wanted air at that table—even with Jennifer Carter gently changing the subject to her Year Six pupils' poetry—you learned how to build an argument without cracks. Rory looked at her reflection in the dark mirror behind the rows of gin bottles: five-foot-six, sharp-chinned, straight black hair drying into sleek lines, eyes a fierce, cold blue that didn't look remotely apologetic. "I didn't like who I was turning into," she said simply. "Law suited my head. Didn't suit the rest of me." Gareth glanced at the moped helmet resting on the mahogany between them, its visor scratched diagonally from a close call with a black cab on Shaftesbury Avenue. He tried to mask his reaction, trained by years of client meetings to smooth away surprise, yet pity flickered across his face all the same—quick, polite, devastatingly condescending. "And you're... courier work?" he asked carefully. "Between things?" Rory almost smiled. Back in Cardiff, that look would have gutted her. Twenty-year-old Aurora Carter had been terrified of stepping off the gilded rail, terrified of disappointing her father's Irish grit or her mother's quiet Welsh pride, so terrified of failure that she had stayed eighteen months inside a flat on Mackintosh Place with a man who measured love in bruises where clothes would cover them. Back then, she had worn perfection like concealer. Now, she looked at Gareth's tailored cuffs and saw the collar chained to them. "I deliver takeaway for a woman who makes the best steamed sea bass in Soho," Rory said evenly. "Pays cash on Fridays. Nobody yells when I hand it over, and when I lock my door upstairs, my time belongs entirely to me. You'd be amazed what a luxury that is, Gareth." Color crept up Gareth's neck, blotching above his white collar. The unspoken name entered the space between them, heavy as damp clay. "I saw Evan," Gareth said quietly, his voice dropping beneath the murmur of the bar. "About six months after you left. At a law society dinner at the Parkgate." Rory's hand remained entirely steady on her glass. Cool-headed; she had learned to slow her pulse down to counting numbers when things turned sharp. Only her thumb moved, tracing the pale crescent scar on her left wrist once before stopping. "Did you." "He had a first-year girl with him. English lit." Gareth stared hard at a dark knot in the mahogany counter. "She spilled red wine on the tablecloth reaching for bread. Nothing major. And the way his hand came down over her wrist under the table—the look on his face before he realized people were watching and laughed it off..." Gareth exhaled, long and ragged. "I remembered that night outside the union in second year. When you told us you'd slipped on the steps by the Taff, and Evan wouldn't let you stay for a drink because you needed ice. You had your scarf pulled all the way up to your chin indoors." Rory said nothing. Rain ticked faster against the glass behind them, turning the green glow of the sign into shivering ripples across the old map of Prague above Gareth's head. "I knew," Gareth whispered, the polish of Chancery Lane cracking clean down the middle. "I don't think I let myself know at the time, because Evan bought rounds and knew all the right partners at loose ends, and you always seemed so bloody untouchable, Aurora. Like nothing could dent you. When I saw him grab that girl's wrist at dinner, I went into the toilets and nearly threw up. Because I realized we'd all watched you disappearing right in front of us for a year, and we just kept asking to borrow your contract notes." There it was: the weight of four years dropped squarely onto the bar. He wanted something from her—absolution, perhaps, or shared grief for the clever, unbroken twenty-year-old girl they had both known in another country. He wanted her to say it wasn't his fault, that Evan had been seamless, that college kids are blind. And it was true enough. Rory had hidden it with all the forensic precision her barrister father had bred into her bones; she had out-thought everyone in Cardiff except her own shame, until the night Evan broke two of her ribs and Eva showed up with a borrowed Vauxhall Corsa at four in the morning and drove straight down the M4 into the rising sun without looking in the rearview mirror. "Did you say anything?" Rory asked. Not unkindly. Just a question. "To the first-year girl?" Gareth closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them, the boy from the Trevithick library was gone entirely, replaced by the tired solicitor who weighed liabilities before speaking. "I told one of the committee girls to keep an eye on her. I didn't... make a scene. My training contract sponsor was at the top table." Rory nodded once, slowly, and drank the rest of her whiskey. She felt no anger toward him. Anger required expectation, and London had stripped her of expectations long ago, replacing them with sharper, far more useful tools. Looking at him, she realized the gulf between them wasn't that he had succeeded while she carried paper bags of dumplings through Soho rain; it was that Gareth was still living inside the cage of permissions she had burned down to survive. "You look tired, Gareth," she said softly. He gave a hollow half-laugh, rubbing two fingers against his brow. "Sixty-hour weeks on a merger nobody actually wants. Listen—" He reached inside his breast pocket and slid out a thick cream business card embossed with crisp black lettering, setting it beside her scratched helmet. "Even if you never want to touch a statute book again, firms like mine always need paralegals, researchers, compliance analysts. People who actually know how to think laterally. You were always faster on your feet than the rest of us put together. One phone call, Rory. Proper salary, pension, out of the rain." Rory looked down at the card. Heavy cotton stock. Sharp corners. It smelled faintly of cedarwood cologne. Four years ago, she would have taken it as a lifeline back to respectability. Tonight, beneath the yellowed maps of The Raven's Nest, with Silas standing twenty feet away polishing a pint glass in comfortable silence, the little white rectangle looked remarkably small. Still, she picked it up and slid it into the zip pocket of her damp jacket—because Rory Carter didn't burn bridges unnecessarily, and because letting him think he had offered a kindness was the closest thing to forgiveness she had left in her pockets. "Good seeing you, Gareth," she said, sliding off the stool. At five-foot-six, standing beside him while he remained seated, she felt strangely taller than she had at twenty-one. "Safe tube home. Mind the steps at Tottenham Court Road; they're lethal in the wet." He stood awkwardly, half-extending a hand before realizing a handshake was absurd and a hug was unearned. "Take care of yourself, Rory. Really." "I do," she said. "I'm very good at it." She tucked her helmet back under her arm and walked down the length of the bar toward the narrow door that led up to her flat. At the end of the counter, Silas didn't ask what the card was or why a city boy in bespoke wool was staring into an empty Laphroaig glass like a man who had lost an argument with a ghost. He merely set a steaming mug on the edge of the wood as she reached the threshold—dark, over-steeped builder's tea, just short of river mud. "Forgot your brew," Silas murmured, his hazel eyes steady and warm beneath grey-streaked brows. Rory wrapped her scarred left wrist and bare fingers around the hot ceramic, letting the heat sink all the way to the bone. Behind her, the heavy front door groaned open and clicked shut, a brief wedge of green neon flashing across the floorboards as Gareth stepped back out into the rain. "Thanks, Si," Rory said, and carried the mug upstairs into the quiet dark of her own life.
created_at"2026-11-11T16:04:41.644Z" 11/11/2026, 4:04:41 PM
model"google/gemini-4-carbon-20261110"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency6479
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time124790
tokens_prompt846
tokens_completion5216
native_tokens_prompt876
native_tokens_completion6255
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning2695
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"STOP"
service_tier"default"
usage0.064302
router(null)
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.22.2; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1794413081-zQiZboFuLI2WVlE613vZ"
session_id(null)
preset_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1794413081-O7bd38csITfsF7TgUM3N"
upstream_id"GZL0at-iMZTDxdIP57OEkQc"
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"f0c9681d-e99b-4bcb-8031-752429da222d"
id"GZL0at-iMZTDxdIP57OEkQc"
is_byokfalse
latency6479
model_permaslug"google/gemini-4-carbon-20261110"
provider_name"Google AI Studio"
status200
total_cost0.064302
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Google AI Studio"
response_cache_source_id(null)
data_region"global"
workspace_id"97e315e5-d303-487d-83c1-83180e8a13d4"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
0.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags27
adverbTagCount7
adverbTags
0"Rory said lightly [lightly]"
1"Gareth said finally [finally]"
2"she said simply [simply]"
3"he asked carefully [carefully]"
4"Rory said evenly [evenly]"
5"Gareth said quietly [quietly]"
6"she said softly [softly]"
dialogueSentences52
tagDensity0.519
leniency1
rawRatio0.259
effectiveRatio0.259
83.63% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2749
totalAiIsmAdverbs9
found
0
adverb"slightly"
count1
1
adverb"quickly"
count1
2
adverb"lightly"
count1
3
adverb"gently"
count1
4
adverb"carefully"
count1
5
adverb"slowly"
count1
6
adverb"softly"
count1
7
adverb"really"
count1
8
adverb"very"
count1
highlights
0"slightly"
1"quickly"
2"lightly"
3"gently"
4"carefully"
5"slowly"
6"softly"
7"really"
8"very"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
78.17% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2749
totalAiIsms12
found
0
word"familiar"
count1
1
word"navigating"
count1
2
word"weight"
count2
3
word"warmth"
count1
4
word"flickered"
count1
5
word"measured"
count1
6
word"unspoken"
count1
7
word"pulse"
count1
8
word"tracing"
count1
9
word"comfortable"
count1
10
word"silence"
count1
highlights
0"familiar"
1"navigating"
2"weight"
3"warmth"
4"flickered"
5"measured"
6"unspoken"
7"pulse"
8"tracing"
9"comfortable"
10"silence"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences120
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount2
hedgeCount1
narrationSentences120
filterMatches
0"watch"
1"think"
hedgeMatches
0"tried to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences145
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen81
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2731
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions34
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
50.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions129
wordCount2015
uniqueNames56
maxNameDensity1.19
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity3.5
worstWindowName"Gareth"
discoveredNames
Soho4
Raven2
Nest3
October1
London2
Yu-Fei2
Cheung1
Bloomsbury1
Fitzrovia1
Tuesday1
Berlin1
Prague2
Hong1
Kong1
Silas10
Blackwood1
Welsh2
Rory24
Vale1
Glamorgan1
Savile1
Row1
Cathays1
Park1
Gareth21
Price1
Central1
Tottenham1
Court1
Road1
Cardiff4
Brendan2
Carter5
Billie1
Holiday1
Vienna1
Irish2
Eva2
Scotch1
Sunday1
Jennifer1
Year1
Six1
Shaftesbury1
Avenue1
Aurora1
Mackintosh1
Place1
Color1
Chancery1
Lane1
Evan2
Vauxhall1
Corsa1
Trevithick1
Laphroaig1
persons
0"Raven"
1"Yu-Fei"
2"Cheung"
3"Silas"
4"Blackwood"
5"Rory"
6"Glamorgan"
7"Gareth"
8"Price"
9"Brendan"
10"Carter"
11"Billie"
12"Holiday"
13"Irish"
14"Eva"
15"Scotch"
16"Jennifer"
17"Six"
18"Aurora"
19"Color"
20"Evan"
places
0"Soho"
1"Nest"
2"London"
3"Bloomsbury"
4"Berlin"
5"Prague"
6"Hong"
7"Kong"
8"Welsh"
9"Cathays"
10"Park"
11"Tottenham"
12"Court"
13"Road"
14"Cardiff"
15"Vienna"
16"Shaftesbury"
17"Avenue"
18"Mackintosh"
19"Place"
20"Chancery"
21"Lane"
22"Vauxhall"
23"Trevithick"
globalScore0.904
windowScore0.5
72.68% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences97
glossingSentenceCount3
matches
0"felt like stepping onto a stair that wa"
1"as if trying to reconcile an old photograph with the street itself"
2"as if discussing weather in another hemisphere"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches1
per1kWords0.366
wordCount2731
matches
0"Neither Rory nor"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences145
matches
0"knew that name"
1"was that Gareth"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs59
mean46.29
std28.74
cv0.621
sampleLengths
088
170
265
312
478
542
611
767
877
928
103
1167
1263
133
1445
1579
1617
1743
1823
1927
2052
2113
2293
2353
2443
252
2647
2761
2814
2974
3084
3121
3255
339
3474
3514
3651
3722
3829
3942
40112
4130
4295
4354
4471
4515
4657
4779
487
4998
93.57% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount4
totalSentences120
matches
0"being called"
1"been terrified"
2"was gone"
3"was unearned"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount4
totalVerbs312
matches
0"was already shrugging"
1"was staring"
2"was still living"
3"was staring"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount12
semicolonCount7
flaggedSentences16
totalSentences145
ratio0.11
matches
0"She smelled of London exhaust and the sweet, lingering ghost of five-spice and fried ginger from Yu-Fei Cheung's kitchen—twelve deliveries across Bloomsbury and Fitzrovia in four hours, every stairwell steeper than the last."
1"He closed the book, resting his right hand flat on the leather cover; the heavy silver signet ring on his finger gave a familiar, muted click against the wood."
2"Silas's neatly trimmed beard twitched at the corner—his version of a grin."
3"Years of navigating bad rooms—first out of fear, later out of training and sheer stubbornness—had given her a precise, cool-headed radar for prolonged attention."
4"To Yu-Fei she was Rory; to the regulars in the Nest she was the quiet girl from upstairs; to Silas's less savory acquaintances who slipped behind the bookshelf at midnight, she had occasionally been other names entirely."
5"He looked her over—not unkindly, just baffled—taking in the scuffed heavy boots, the fluorescent reflective strip peeling at the hem of her courier jacket, the utter absence of the pearl studs and immaculate wool coats Brendan Carter's daughter used to wear like battle dress."
6"As her sleeve rode back an inch, the small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist caught the amber light—a relic from falling through a greenhouse pane at eight years old, back when her mother had bandaged it at the kitchen sink in Cardiff while her father lectured her on carelessness."
7"She had read them because Brendan Carter spoke the language of precedent over Sunday roast, and if you wanted air at that table—even with Jennifer Carter gently changing the subject to her Year Six pupils' poetry—you learned how to build an argument without cracks."
8"He tried to mask his reaction, trained by years of client meetings to smooth away surprise, yet pity flickered across his face all the same—quick, polite, devastatingly condescending."
9"Cool-headed; she had learned to slow her pulse down to counting numbers when things turned sharp."
10"He wanted something from her—absolution, perhaps, or shared grief for the clever, unbroken twenty-year-old girl they had both known in another country."
11"Rory had hidden it with all the forensic precision her barrister father had bred into her bones; she had out-thought everyone in Cardiff except her own shame, until the night Evan broke two of her ribs and Eva showed up with a borrowed Vauxhall Corsa at four in the morning and drove straight down the M4 into the rising sun without looking in the rearview mirror."
12"Looking at him, she realized the gulf between them wasn't that he had succeeded while she carried paper bags of dumplings through Soho rain; it was that Gareth was still living inside the cage of permissions she had burned down to survive."
13"Still, she picked it up and slid it into the zip pocket of her damp jacket—because Rory Carter didn't burn bridges unnecessarily, and because letting him think he had offered a kindness was the closest thing to forgiveness she had left in her pockets."
14"\"Safe tube home. Mind the steps at Tottenham Court Road; they're lethal in the wet.\""
15"He merely set a steaming mug on the edge of the wood as she reached the threshold—dark, over-steeped builder's tea, just short of river mud."
88.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1491
adjectiveStacks2
stackExamples
0"precise, cool-headed radar"
1"small crescent-shaped scar"
adverbCount51
adverbRatio0.03420523138832998
lyAdverbCount19
lyAdverbRatio0.012743125419181758
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences145
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences145
mean18.83
std14.4
cv0.765
sampleLengths
024
120
211
333
414
514
642
711
825
929
104
118
1238
1320
1420
1512
1629
171
1811
1918
2024
2125
2210
2324
2415
2510
2618
2728
283
296
3037
3124
323
3326
346
3528
363
3714
3824
397
4018
4117
4244
433
4414
4510
4621
4712
486
4917
85.52% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats6
diversityRatio0.5379310344827586
totalSentences145
uniqueOpeners78
60.06% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount2
totalSentences111
matches
0"Only her thumb moved, tracing"
1"Just a question."
ratio0.018
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount33
totalSentences111
matches
0"She smelled of London exhaust"
1"He closed the book, resting"
2"His voice was gravel smoothed"
3"She pulled off her damp"
4"She leaned an elbow on"
5"She was already halfway up"
6"He was twenty-six or twenty-seven,"
7"She simply tilted her head,"
8"His colleague muttered something polite"
9"He looked her over—not unkindly,"
10"His hazel eyes rested on"
11"He shifted his gaze to"
12"He brought the glasses down"
13"He shook his head, a"
14"she said, taking a small,"
15"It burned clean, washing the"
16"Her tone wasn't bitter, merely"
17"She hadn't read them for"
18"She had read them because"
19"she said simply"
ratio0.297
100.00% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount75
totalSentences111
matches
0"Rain had turned the Soho"
1"Rory pushed through the heavy"
2"She smelled of London exhaust"
3"The bar was half-empty, the"
4"He closed the book, resting"
5"His voice was gravel smoothed"
6"Rory said, setting her helmet"
7"She pulled off her damp"
8"Silas's neatly trimmed beard twitched"
9"She leaned an elbow on"
10"She was already halfway up"
11"Rory felt the stare before"
12"Years of navigating bad rooms—first"
13"The other was staring straight"
14"He was twenty-six or twenty-seven,"
15"Nobody in Soho knew that"
16"Rory didn't flinch."
17"She simply tilted her head,"
18"Gareth Price set his glass"
19"His colleague muttered something polite"
ratio0.676
90.09% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount2
totalSentences111
matches
0"To Yu-Fei she was Rory;"
1"Now, she looked at Gareth's"
ratio0.018
71.43% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences70
technicalSentenceCount7
matches
0"One was already shrugging into his scarf, checking his watch."
1"He was twenty-six or twenty-seven, clean-shaven, with sandy hair cut expensive and short, and the pale, slightly doughy exhaustion of someone who billed his lif…"
2"To Yu-Fei she was Rory; to the regulars in the Nest she was the quiet girl from upstairs; to Silas's less savory acquaintances who slipped behind the bookshelf …"
3"Hearing those three syllables spoken in the soft, rising cadence of the Vale of Glamorgan felt like stepping onto a stair that wasn't there."
4"She simply tilted her head, letting her bright blue eyes adjust to the dimness of the corner booth, sorting features the way she sorted street routes."
5"Twenty-year-old Aurora Carter had been terrified of stepping off the gilded rail, terrified of disappointing her father's Irish grit or her mother's quiet Welsh…"
6"When he opened them, the boy from the Trevithick library was gone entirely, replaced by the tired solicitor who weighed liabilities before speaking."
69.44% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags27
uselessAdditionCount3
matches
0"Rory said, a faint warmth touching her voice"
1"Gareth said quietly, his voice dropping beneath the murmur of the bar"
2"Gareth whispered, the polish of Chancery Lane cracking clean down the middle"
53.85% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags22
fancyCount5
fancyTags
0"Gareth breathed (breathe)"
1"Gareth murmured (murmur)"
2"She had (have)"
3"Gareth whispered (whisper)"
4"Silas murmured (murmur)"
dialogueSentences52
tagDensity0.423
leniency0.846
rawRatio0.227
effectiveRatio0.192
83.2146%