Molly paced around her dimly lit bedroom, chewing on a gummy bear while rubbing her chin. Bill, perched on her unmade bed, leaned forward to study a fold-out map of the birthday party venue. "Damn, this place is a maze," Bill grumbled, tapping a raggedily drawn floor plan. "There's the gift table right there, but we'll have to navigate through clowns, balloons, and literal masses of children." "Looks like a veritable warzone," Molly smirked, tossing another gummy into her mouth, making a face at the sour flavor. She pointed at the map. "There's a menu under the 'Party Extras' section: cotton candy machine, a snow cone stand, and... popcorn? We'll need disguises, for sure." "Oh, I got a perfect disguise right here," Bill declared, lifting up a black canvas bag. He shook it, and a shiny, gold sequinned outfit spilled out. "I've always wanted to swim in this outfit. We'll start with me as a dancing clown statue." "It's brilliant," Molly agreed, impressed. "And if we're both clowns, no one will suspect a darn thing. We can mingle with the actual clowns and just blend in with our hilarious jokes." "But I need a partner in crime. How about me as a... a balloon animal maker?" Bill suggested. "You'll need to fasten a fair amount of balloons, though. I'll be a clown who takes party photos with a Polaroid camera. When parents get their own self-portraits with their happy kids, I can slip presents into the camera case undetected." "Splendid!" Bill exclaimed. "We'll have a flurry of pictures going. If anyone asks, just say you're an 'instant photo artist'." "Except the kid whose parents are paying for this hellhole will be a problem. They'll want a family portrait," Molly suggested. "We'll need to have a gameplan for the 'birthday kid.' "- "Easy peasy. Score the presents with a little congrats card, 'From clown's best to a birthday champ.' Then, as we take the family portrait, the birthday kid will join the photo, and you can switch the presents with the card." "And their attention will be on celebrating, while you make balloon animals for the nearby kids. No one will notice the switcheroo." Molly added a sigh, "What's the tech status? Can we jam the Wi-Fi so parents can't post these heist images to their social networks?" "Oh, I'm all over it. I'll bring the tech backpack. Parents' phones won't even ping for Wi-Fi and your trusty gadget will capture the security footage." "We should be in and out in fifteen minutes. And both statues come with laser-cut devices for opening packages, to be extra efficient. Now, let's prep those disguises in silence, Bill. We've got a party to crash." Four hours later, they arrived at the chaotic venue. The sound of screaming children and pounding music filled the air. "Brace yourself, Molly," Bill sternly warned in feeble clown-voice. "Ayup. Let's jolly up the place," Molly replied, fastening her oversized shoes. With nothing more than their disguises, props, and gadgets, Molly and Bill joined the merry band of clowns. Within minutes, they were surrounded by a frenzied mob of children, who paid them no mind. Before long, the birthday boy was called forward. "Gather round, for a picture with our esteemed guest," Molly hollered, her voice authentic despite the costume. Bill produced an oversized camera and pretended to capture the moment while Molly traded a camera case full of swag for the birthday cake. The ploy worked like a charm. "Got 'em all," Molly whispered to Bill, peeking inside her case. "Only require one more to distract me," Bill said, gesturing to a child begging for a balloon giraffe. Molly chuckled, "I'll entertain while you slip the last present to me, and then we vacate." It was over before the parents realized it, leaving them at a loss for the missing loot. With the contents of the camera case slung over their shoulders, they dashed out, Molly's heels clacking and Bill's metallic jingle sounding through the commotion. Outside, they split the presents. "Another successful day in thievery, Bill!" "Another day, another fabulous heist, Molly," Bill grinned, a sweaty, sequined cheek glistening under the party lights. "We'll hit a different kind of party next time," Molly chuckled, leaning against a wall to catch her breath. Two thieves, with bright red noses and smiles, faded into the night, their mission a hilarious and horrifying success.