Molly: "Yo, Bill. You'll never guess where our next gig's at." Bill: "Uh-oh. Is it a prison? We're screwed if it's a prison." Molly: "Well, almost. It's a birthday party for some rich kid." Bill: "A birthday party? Did you go broke on those stocks I told you to stay away from? You're not thinking about kidnapping, right?" Molly: "Relax, Bill. We're only after the presents." Bill: "The presents? Aren't those mostly stuffed animals and toys worth like two cents?" Molly: "Not when they're from a trust fund brat. This kid's gonna be rolling in designer toys and gold-plated trinkets. Trust me." Bill: "Okay, okay, but how do we get in? Clown makeup? People are too paranoid since those mass shootings." Molly: "Nah, we can pose as caterers. It's the easiest thing to pull off. I've got the uniforms ready." Bill: "You're good at disguises, Moll. That eBay account pays off." Molly: "Exactly. Now listen up. We're hitting this joint in two phases. Phase one: infiltration. You'll walk in with a delivery, flanked by a platter of cheese and fruit. What do you want to call it?" Bill: "The Smorgasbord Volante. They'll never see us coming." Molly: "Nice. You distract the adults while I catch the kids' attention on the playground. We'll bribe them with balloons--they're too busy to notice the missing loot. Phase two: extraction." Bill: "When do the presents get reallocated?" Molly: "Sneaking into the birthday kid's room, where he's likely to have them. Hide the bigger stuff, like bikes, in the vans under the pretense of more 'catering'. The small stuff, you pocket or dump in the Smorgasbord. Easy peasy, guacamole." Bill: "Sounds like a plan. Anything else?" Molly: "Yeah. We have our alibi. You have a whole tray of food to carry; no need to raise suspicion. I'll need help with the van; got it packed with supplies and disguised as a catering vehicle." Bill: "Got it. And the, uh, kids? Can't we just give them something to shut them up?" Molly: "We'll use our secret weapon: naps. We'll pass out cheap lollipops laced with melatonin." Bill: "That's a new one even for you.” Molly: "Don't get used to it. Now, tell me, are you ready to make a fool of this rich pigeon family?" Bill: "Let's hope they're as oblivious as they are wealthy." Molly: "Watch and learn, Bill. You'll see." Bill: "Noted. Just make sure you didn't skimp on the sleepy lollies, Molly. I don't want a horde of hyped-up toddlers on our tail." Molly: "Oh, I got more than you think. And just imagine, Bill; we're not just thieving here, we're salvaging these presents. The toys'll be put to better use." Bill: "Well, salvaged toys have a nice ring to it. So, the kids are sedated and the parents are distracted. Let's hope Santa doesn't make a surprise visit." Molly: "As if. It's August, Bill. This heist's on the house. And believe it or not, we're not stealing from kids in need like the Grinch; we're just leveling the playing field." Bill: "Guess it makes a change from robbing banks, though I did enjoy those hostage negotiations." Molly: "Bah, those were child's play. Now, let's gear up and make like Bandit and Cledus in that Smokey and the Bandit movie." Bill: "Yeah, and let's hope we don't need to jump a dump truck full of..." Molly: "...beer? Nope, just some fake fruit at the moment. Now, let's get those caterer outfits on." Bill: "Alright Moll, let's make like a caterpillar and turn into the butterflies of escape." Molly: "Oh, you cheese puns get rustier by the day." Bill: "Never fear, Molly. The payout from stolen toys will, of course, fund better joke-writing classes for me. See you at ten sharp, Birthday Boy's gaff." Molly: "Ten sharp. To the manor of the trustafarians." Bill: "After this, you're buying me one of these gold-plated trinkets you mentioned." Molly: "Skinner's a promise. Smooth flying, Bill." Bill: "Smooth flying, Molly." The two thieves, satisfied with the plan, headed off to gather their supplies, ready to parody the classic "A Christmas Story" by robbing presents in August, becoming modern pantomimes of thievery in a tale as old as time.