Molly adjusted her vibrant red wig, grimacing as it tugged at her hair. "This thing itches like a crawdad with the clap," she muttered, glaring at her reflection in the dingy alleyway mirror. Bill chuckled, straightening his supermarket vest and name tag. "Quit yer belly-achin', sister. It ain't called a 'disguise' if people can see yer ugly mug without sharin' a cup of coffee." Molly shot him a withering look, then checked the switchblade strapped to her thigh. "You better hope this heist goes smooth, 'cause I swear if I end up in the clink next to a room full o' mouth-breathin' lesbians... " "Would that really be so bad?" Bill interjected, grinning. "Least they can't complain about yer snorin'." She flashed him the finger. "Shut yer pie-hole. We got work to do." Bill checked his watch. "Right on schedule. Little brats'll be openin' presents in... three, two, one." He pushed the alley door open, affecting a syrupy smile. "Delivery for the birthday boy! Where should I unload it, ma'am?" An exhausted-looking mother of five waved toward the living room. "Just put it with the rest, thanks." He winked. "No problemo!" Molly eased the door shut, then they both hurried to the present pile and began stuffing as many boxes as they could carry under Bill's vest and Molly's gabardine coat. Suddenly, Bill gasped. "M-Molly..." She froze. "What?" "I think I'm bein' robbed." "Huh?" She turned to face him, eyes widening at the sight of the toddler buried under Bill's coat, gleefully unwrapping the stolen gifts. The little girl looked up at them and smiled. "I'm gonna show Mommy! She'll give me lots of candy!" Bill and Molly exchanged a panicked look as the woman's voice rang out - "Stephanie? What are you doing back there?" In a united flash of panic, the two thieves bolted for the door, leaving a trail of stolen loot and their shocked accomplices behind. They sprinted down the sidewalk, laughing madly until they finally collapsed in an alley, gasping for breath. "That... was... CLOSE," Molly wheezed, clutching her chest. "Toldja this'd work!" Bill grinned, still trying to catch his breath. "Now let's get the hell outta here before the real authorities show!" They took off running again just as sirens wailed in the distance, abandoning their ill-gotten goods and fantastic alibis in their wake. It wasn't their most lucrative score, but damn if it wasn't the most fun they'd had in ages.||