“Okay, Molly, walk me through this again. We’re hitting a children’s party? Really?” “Bill, it’s genius. Think about it—everyone’s distracted by balloon animals and magic shows. No one notices a couple of professional thieves in clown wigs.” “Clown wigs? Molly, I don’t even own a red nose.” “That’s your first problem. Look, we get in, grab the presents, and get out before anyone realizes. Easy.” “And the parents? The screaming kids? The sugar-fueled chaos?” “Exactly! Who’s gonna catch two thieves when there’s a three-year-old throwing a tantrum over a missing cupcake?” “Fair point. But what about the tiny, pint-size security? I’ve seen those kids play tag. They’re faster than any alarm system.” “We’ll distract them with stickers. Kids love stickers. Slip ’em each a shiny spider sticker and boom—they’re distracted.” “And the birthday cake?” “Leave it be. Cake is communal. Plus, we don’t want to get sticky. Presents only.” “I still can’t believe we’re doing this. Molly, you’re a mad genius.” “Bill, it’s not just stealing presents. It’s... seasonal redistribution.” “Redistribution? You read too many pamphlets.” “Fine. We steal presents, and it’s hilarious. Ready to clown around?” “Only if I get the red nose.”