Run: 2026-03-09-01KKABWPJRRBH4CR2476Y1KCTY

Run Details

Duration:
1m 24s
Cost:
$0.053755
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the horror genre. A character is alone in a strange, isolated place at night. They came here for a reason, but something feels off from the moment they arrive. The wrongness builds slowly — sounds that shouldn't be there, things that move at the edge of vision, a growing certainty that they are not alone. Build tension through restraint, not through gore. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for the character and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
By the time Aurora reached the old oak stones, the park had gone quiet in the way only large, open places could—never truly silent, but emptied of the sounds that made silence feel harmless. Richmond Park at night had its own language. Wind passing through wet grass. The distant rustle of something small and ordinary moving in the undergrowth. The creak of branches shifting their weight. A stag barking somewhere far off, abrupt and ragged as a cough. She knew all that. London had taught her to sort danger from noise quickly, and the city’s parks had their own patterns after dark. This wasn’t one of them. She stood with her bike leaned against her hip and looked at the ring of ancient stones beneath the oak. They were half-swallowed by moss and shadow, dull grey in the moonlight, each one taller than she was. A stranger would have walked past and seen nothing but old weathered monoliths in a patch of unkempt ground. Aurora saw the seam in the world. Not with her eyes, exactly. With that other sense she had learned not to name too loudly. The Heartstone pendant rested cold against her throat. That, more than anything, made her pause. It should have been warm. Every other time it had reacted near a tear, a threshold, anything connected to Hel, it gave off that faint pulse of heat, like a second heartbeat against her skin. Tonight the deep crimson stone sat under her jumper like a dead thing. Aurora slipped her gloves off and touched it anyway. Silver chain. Smooth gem. No warmth. “Great,” she muttered. Her voice sounded thin in the dark, too quick to disappear. She wasn’t here on a whim. Earlier that evening, while weaving through traffic with a stack of late takeaway orders strapped to the back of her bike, she had felt the pendant flare hot enough to sting. Not near a crossroads. Not near one of the old churches. Near the park. It had gone still the moment she crossed the road, as if whatever called to it had retreated deeper inside. She’d finished the last delivery, lied to Yu-Fei over text that she had a flat tyre, and come back with a torch, a pocketknife, and a degree of common sense she was already beginning to resent. Cool-headed, Eva always called her, as if that were a compliment and not a polite way of saying she walked into bad situations with her eyes open. Aurora ducked under the lowest branch of the oak and stepped between the stones. The change came at once. The night did not brighten or darken. No dramatic shimmer, no cinematic lurch. The air simply grew denser, as if she had walked into water without getting wet. The temperature dropped. Sound altered. The far-off traffic hum vanished first, then the wind. Even the bark of the stag was gone. Her own breathing filled the clearing with a muffled intimacy she disliked instantly. The Fae Grove spread out ahead of her, wider on the inside than it had any right to be. Wildflowers covered the ground in pale drifts—foxglove, daisy, bluebell, things she couldn’t name—blooming white and silver under the moon. The clearing should have looked soft, almost pretty. Instead it looked staged. Nothing bent in the breeze because there was no breeze. Nothing hummed with insects. The flowers held themselves too still, each stem upright as if pinned in place. The trees around the clearing formed a ring of black trunks, and their branches interlocked overhead with such precision it felt intentional, a cage disguised as a canopy. Aurora left the bike against one of the stones and took out her torch. The beam cut a pale lane over flowers and grass. No path. No tracks. No sign that anyone had been here before her, though she knew that meant nothing in a place like this. “All right,” she said quietly, because speaking made her feel less like prey. “I saw what I saw.” The pendant remained cold. She started across the clearing. Her trainers sank slightly into the earth. Not mud. Something springier, almost like moss layered over old soil. The smell was wrong too. Not damp leaves and greenery, but sweetness gone stale. Flowers left too long in a warm room. A wedding bouquet six days after the bride had gone. She stopped halfway in and listened. Nothing. That should have comforted her. It didn’t. Silence in a city park was impossible. Silence in a place full of living things was unnatural. Her shoulders tightened. She turned slowly, sweeping the torch beam over the ring of trees. At first she saw only bark and shadows. Then something pale slipped behind a trunk on the far side of the grove. Aurora froze. It had not moved like an animal. No rustle, no low shape. It had simply withdrawn, a vertical whiteness there and then not there. She kept the torch fixed on the spot and waited, counting the seconds in her head. One. Two. Three. Nothing emerged. “Probably flowers,” she whispered, though there were no flowers growing up a tree. She took three more steps. The pendant tapped once against her sternum, not warm exactly, but less cold than before. A warning or a guide; with the thing she was never entirely sure. The clearing narrowed subtly as she walked, though she knew that was impossible. The trees seemed closer than they had a moment ago. Their trunks had shape in the torchlight—knotted bulges, seams in the bark, pale lichen. Faces, if she let herself look at them wrong. She did not. A sound came from somewhere behind her. Footsteps. Not loud. Not rushing. A soft compression of grass under careful weight. Aurora turned so fast the torch beam skidded wild across the flowers. Empty clearing. Stones far behind her now, dim at the boundary. Her bike a black angle against one of them. “Hello?” The word fell flat. No echo. She knew better than to expect an answer, but some part of her had. Her pulse climbed anyway, hard and measurable in her throat. She kept the torch trained on the open ground and listened. Nothing. Then, very distinctly, a second set of footsteps began behind her again, matching the pace she had just taken. A cold line slid down her spine. She pivoted. Empty. Aurora’s mouth went dry. Cleverness was useful in a crisis; so was admitting what game you were in. Something here was timing itself to her movements. Either it wanted her rattled, or it wanted to know how long it would take her to run. She chose not to do that second thing. Instead she crouched slowly, pretending to adjust the lace on her trainer while angling the torch low across the grass. If something was stalking her physically, the beam might catch the shadow of it. If it wasn’t— The grass shone silver. Flower stems cast thin black lines. For one second she saw only that. Then she saw a shadow slide over the ground behind her. It was long and narrow and upright, the outline of a person stretching toward her feet. Aurora jerked around. No one stood there. The shadow remained. It lay over the flowers exactly as if cast by a human body just out of frame, but the torch was in her hand, the moon was overhead, and there was nothing at the head of that dark shape to make it. The beam trembled despite her best effort. She stood too quickly and took a step back. The shadow took one too, keeping the same distance between them. Her scalp prickled. “No,” she said, very softly. The pendant warmed. Just a breath of heat, but enough to feel. Not Hel, then. Or not only Hel. Something adjacent. Something crossing. Aurora swallowed and forced herself to think. She had come because the Heartstone reacted here. It reacted to openings. If there was a rupture in the Grove, standing in the middle like an idiot wasn’t going to help. She needed the source. The shadow waited on the grass, patient. She moved sideways, circling. The shadow drifted with her. Never faster than she was. Never slower. If she stopped, it stopped. The thing was not attached to her body or the light. It was attached to her attention. At the edge of vision, shapes began to gather between the trees. Not solid figures. Suggestions. A shoulder where no trunk had been before. The slant of a head. A pale hand seeming to rest against bark. Every time she turned the torch directly toward one, it was only tree and dark. But when she looked away, she could feel them rearranging themselves. Aurora kept circling. The warmth in the pendant grew stronger as she neared the eastern side of the grove. Not enough to burn, but enough to press insistently against her skin. Good. A direction. She fixed on it and walked faster. The footsteps came again. Not mimicking her now. Converging. One set behind. One to the left. A dragging whisper from the right, as if cloth brushed flowers. Her breathing shallowed. She hated that. Hated the way fear turned the body stupid and ancient. She made herself draw one slow breath through her nose, out through her mouth. The old trick. Give the mind something orderly to do. The smell hit her stronger here. Sweetness, yes, but underneath it something mineral and shut away. Like standing in an old cellar with a vase of lilies. Ahead, near the tree line, the flowers thinned around a patch of bare ground. The earth there looked darker than the rest, almost wet, though no dew shone on it. The torchlight seemed to dull when it touched that patch, as if the beam lost nerve. The pendant turned hot. Aurora stopped three feet short of the bare earth. There was no visible hole, no crack splitting the grove. Just a stain in the world, round as a well mouth and not much wider than a dinner table. The flowers around it leaned away. She had not noticed that from afar, but now she saw every stem bent outward from the patch, petals turned aside like faces refusing to look. The wrongness here had weight. It pressed behind her eyes. This is why I came, she told herself. Find the source. Confirm it. Leave. Tell someone else to handle the impossible. The thought steadied her for all of two seconds. A voice spoke from behind her in a man’s low, familiar cadence. “Rory.” She closed her eyes. Of course it would do that. Of course it would reach for an old bruise and press. She did not turn. Evan’s voice had lived in too many rooms of her life for too long; she knew every edge of it. The thing behind her had the pitch right, the softness wrong. Too careful. Too coaxing. Like someone reading from memory. “Rory,” it said again. “You don’t need to be frightened.” Aurora opened her eyes and looked straight at the patch of dark earth. “That’s not a sentence he’d say.” Silence behind her. Then the footsteps resumed, slower now. A second voice came from her left. Her mother this time, exhausted and sharp. “Aurora, don’t be ridiculous. Come away from there.” Another from the right, warm and amused in a way that made her chest clench unexpectedly—her father. “You’ve proved your point, love.” Her skin crawled. It wasn’t the imitation that unnerved her most. It was the confidence. The thing was trying on voices like keys, certain one would fit. Aurora crouched and reached for the pendant beneath her jumper. The gem burned against her palm when she closed her hand around it. Faint inner glow leaked red through her fingers. The clearing reacted. All around her, the whispering stopped. The figures at the edge of her vision sharpened for a single impossible moment into a ring of tall, pale forms standing among the trees, too thin and too still, their faces blank as carved bone. Every one of them was turned toward her. Then the torch went out. Darkness slammed down. Aurora sucked in a breath and nearly dropped the torch. She thumbed the switch again. Nothing. Dead. The silence that followed was so complete she heard the tiny click inside the casing like a scream. The pendant glowed brighter in her fist, a muted crimson enough to paint the nearest flowers in blood-dim light. Not much. Enough. She stayed crouched because standing suddenly felt like invitation. The dark patch of ground before her was no longer flat. Something under the surface was pushing upward. The earth bulged, slowly, as if a breath filled it from below. Soil lifted in a rounded swell. The flowers around it bowed farther back. A crack sounded—not loud, but intimate, like a knuckle bending the wrong way. Aurora shuffled backward on her haunches. The bulge rose another inch. Another. The top of it thinned. A membrane of darkness stretched there, not earth at all but something like skin made from shadow and water. Beneath it, shapes moved. Several of them. Pressing from below. The certainty she was not alone hardened into fact. One of the shapes pressed high enough for an outline to form: fingertips. Human in arrangement. Not in proportion. Too many joints. Too long. They spread against the membrane from the inside. Aurora was on her feet without remembering standing. She backed away carefully, pendant clenched in one hand, dead torch in the other. Around the clearing, the pale forms between the trees had drawn closer. She could not see their faces clearly, but she felt their attention like cold hands on either side of her head. The voice came again from everywhere at once. Not Evan now. Not anyone she knew. “Open.” The membrane over the dark patch dimpled as another hand joined the first from beneath. “Open,” it said again, and this time the word seemed to come from the pendant itself, vibrating through her fist. Aurora’s heart kicked hard enough to hurt. The Heartstone was meant to find thresholds. Not all thresholds wanted finding. She took one more step back and her heel hit something solid—the standing stone boundary, impossibly suddenly there. The Grove had folded space again, or time, or both. The ancient oak loomed overhead. Her bike was a black shape inches from her shoulder. Relief flared sharp and useless. She was at the edge, yes. Whether edges still worked was another question. In the clearing, the bulging dark had risen knee-high now. The surface quivered. The hands under it strained harder. Around it, the flowers had all turned inward. Aurora forced numb fingers to find the bike handle, never taking her eyes off the thing in the center. The pale watchers did not move. Their stillness was worse than pursuit. They looked like witnesses. “Not tonight,” she whispered, though her mouth felt stiff. The stone at her throat pulsed once, hot as an ember. The membrane split. Not wide. Just a narrow vertical seam opening in the dark, and within it no color at all, only depth—a deeper black than the night around it. Something on the other side shifted close to the slit, vast and patient. Aurora shoved the bike through the line of stones and threw herself after it. The air changed with a wrenching snap. Wind slammed into her face. Traffic hummed somewhere distant beyond the trees. A stag barked. Her knees hit cold earth outside the grove and pain flashed bright and immediate, wonderfully ordinary. Behind her, inside the ring of stones, the clearing stood silver and still beneath the moon. No dark mound. No pale forms. No movement at all. Only wildflowers. Aurora stayed where she was, one hand braced in the grass, the other locked around the Heartstone until the edges of the gem bit her palm. Her breath tore in and out. The small crescent scar on her left wrist stood stark in the moonlight, pale against her skin. For a long moment she did not look at the pendant. She was not sure she wanted proof of anything. When she finally opened her hand, the crimson stone glowed with a low, steady inner light. Warm. And from somewhere inside the grove, where no sound should have crossed the boundary at all, came a soft, deliberate knock. As if from the underside of a door.
created_at"2026-03-09T22:36:10.724Z" 3/9/2026, 10:36:10 PM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency3412
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time83642
tokens_prompt812
tokens_completion4278
native_tokens_prompt742
native_tokens_completion3460
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning51
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.053755
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ff5625c-403f-4d7f-b895-58ac7295062c"
id"resp_034f811c2970adcc0169af4b5acfa881958061470154c24d68"
is_byokfalse
latency130
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773095770-mFKCklGEor1bx9P3XC0D"
upstream_id"resp_034f811c2970adcc0169af4b5acfa881958061470154c24d68"
total_cost0.053755
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
0.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags7
adverbTagCount3
adverbTags
0"she said quietly [quietly]"
1"it said again [again]"
2"it said again [again]"
dialogueSentences15
tagDensity0.467
leniency0.933
rawRatio0.429
effectiveRatio0.4
76.37% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2751
totalAiIsmAdverbs13
found
0
adverb"truly"
count1
1
adverb"quickly"
count2
2
adverb"slightly"
count1
3
adverb"slowly"
count3
4
adverb"very"
count2
5
adverb"softly"
count1
6
adverb"suddenly"
count2
7
adverb"carefully"
count1
highlights
0"truly"
1"quickly"
2"slightly"
3"slowly"
4"very"
5"softly"
6"suddenly"
7"carefully"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
50.93% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2751
totalAiIsms27
found
0
word"silence"
count5
1
word"weight"
count3
2
word"pulse"
count2
3
word"warmth"
count2
4
word"lurch"
count1
5
word"footsteps"
count4
6
word"echo"
count1
7
word"down her spine"
count1
8
word"trembled"
count1
9
word"could feel"
count1
10
word"whisper"
count1
11
word"familiar"
count1
12
word"loomed"
count1
13
word"quivered"
count1
14
word"pulsed"
count1
15
word"stark"
count1
highlights
0"silence"
1"weight"
2"pulse"
3"warmth"
4"lurch"
5"footsteps"
6"echo"
7"down her spine"
8"trembled"
9"could feel"
10"whisper"
11"familiar"
12"loomed"
13"quivered"
14"pulsed"
15"stark"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences314
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount3
hedgeCount3
narrationSentences314
filterMatches
0"feel"
1"look"
hedgeMatches
0"began to"
1"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences322
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen42
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2743
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions11
unquotedAttributions1
matches
0"This is why I came, she told herself."
100.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions44
wordCount2700
uniqueNames11
maxNameDensity0.78
worstName"Aurora"
maxWindowNameDensity1.5
worstWindowName"Aurora"
discoveredNames
Aurora21
Park1
Heartstone4
Hel3
Yu-Fei1
Eva1
Fae1
Grove3
Evan2
Silence3
One4
persons
0"Aurora"
1"Heartstone"
2"Eva"
3"Evan"
places
0"Park"
1"Hel"
2"Yu-Fei"
3"Fae"
4"Grove"
globalScore1
windowScore1
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences188
glossingSentenceCount3
matches
0"seemed closer than they had a moment ago"
1"felt like invitation"
2"something like skin made from shadow and wat"
17.72% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches5
per1kWords1.823
wordCount2743
matches
0"Not damp leaves and greenery, but sweetness gone stale"
1"not warm exactly, but less cold than before"
2"Not enough to burn, but enough to press insistently against her skin"
3"not loud, but intimate, like a knuckle bending the wrong way"
4"not earth at all but something like skin made from shadow"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences322
matches
0"touched that patch"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs132
mean20.78
std19.24
cv0.926
sampleLengths
034
168
25
381
48
57
648
715
814
9107
1027
1114
125
1363
1446
154
1656
1748
1818
194
205
2150
226
231
2439
258
2614
272
2840
293
302
3113
3233
3349
347
351
3612
3732
381
396
4035
411
4219
437
443
4544
468
4737
4817
4911
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount3
totalSentences314
matches
0"was gone"
1"was attached"
2"was meant"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount6
totalVerbs435
matches
0"was already beginning"
1"was admitting"
2"was timing"
3"was stalking"
4"was trying"
5"was pushing"
45.25% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount9
semicolonCount3
flaggedSentences11
totalSentences322
ratio0.034
matches
0"By the time Aurora reached the old oak stones, the park had gone quiet in the way only large, open places could—never truly silent, but emptied of the sounds that made silence feel harmless."
1"Wildflowers covered the ground in pale drifts—foxglove, daisy, bluebell, things she couldn’t name—blooming white and silver under the moon."
2"A warning or a guide; with the thing she was never entirely sure."
3"Their trunks had shape in the torchlight—knotted bulges, seams in the bark, pale lichen."
4"Cleverness was useful in a crisis; so was admitting what game you were in."
5"If it wasn’t—"
6"Evan’s voice had lived in too many rooms of her life for too long; she knew every edge of it."
7"Another from the right, warm and amused in a way that made her chest clench unexpectedly—her father."
8"A crack sounded—not loud, but intimate, like a knuckle bending the wrong way."
9"She took one more step back and her heel hit something solid—the standing stone boundary, impossibly suddenly there."
10"Just a narrow vertical seam opening in the dark, and within it no color at all, only depth—a deeper black than the night around it."
85.80% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2714
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"low, steady inner light."
adverbCount134
adverbRatio0.04937361827560796
lyAdverbCount39
lyAdverbRatio0.014369933677229182
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences322
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences322
mean8.52
std6.66
cv0.781
sampleLengths
034
18
25
312
47
512
64
720
85
920
1018
1119
127
135
1412
158
167
175
1830
1913
209
212
222
232
243
2511
266
2731
284
297
303
3120
3236
3327
3414
355
367
376
3815
393
402
419
428
4313
4419
4519
468
474
4810
494
41.30% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats28
diversityRatio0.2950310559006211
totalSentences322
uniqueOpeners95
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount14
totalSentences271
matches
0"Even the bark of the"
1"Instead it looked staged."
2"Then something pale slipped behind"
3"Then, very distinctly, a second"
4"Instead she crouched slowly, pretending"
5"Then she saw a shadow"
6"Just a breath of heat,"
7"Just a stain in the"
8"Of course it would do"
9"Of course it would reach"
10"Then the footsteps resumed, slower"
11"Then the torch went out."
12"Too many joints."
13"Just a narrow vertical seam"
ratio0.052
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount65
totalSentences271
matches
0"She knew all that."
1"She stood with her bike"
2"They were half-swallowed by moss"
3"It should have been warm."
4"Her voice sounded thin in"
5"She wasn’t here on a"
6"It had gone still the"
7"She’d finished the last delivery,"
8"Her own breathing filled the"
9"she said quietly, because speaking"
10"She started across the clearing."
11"Her trainers sank slightly into"
12"She stopped halfway in and"
13"Her shoulders tightened."
14"She turned slowly, sweeping the"
15"It had not moved like"
16"It had simply withdrawn, a"
17"She kept the torch fixed"
18"she whispered, though there were"
19"She took three more steps."
ratio0.24
100.00% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount193
totalSentences271
matches
0"Richmond Park at night had"
1"The distant rustle of something"
2"The creak of branches shifting"
3"A stag barking somewhere far"
4"She knew all that."
5"London had taught her to"
6"This wasn’t one of them."
7"She stood with her bike"
8"They were half-swallowed by moss"
9"A stranger would have walked"
10"Aurora saw the seam in"
11"The Heartstone pendant rested cold"
12"That, more than anything, made"
13"It should have been warm."
14"Every other time it had"
15"Tonight the deep crimson stone"
16"Aurora slipped her gloves off"
17"Her voice sounded thin in"
18"She wasn’t here on a"
19"It had gone still the"
ratio0.712
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount8
totalSentences271
matches
0"By the time Aurora reached"
1"Either it wanted her rattled,"
2"If something was stalking her"
3"If it wasn’t—"
4"If there was a rupture"
5"If she stopped, it stopped."
6"Whether edges still worked was"
7"As if from the underside"
ratio0.03
100.00% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences107
technicalSentenceCount3
matches
0"By the time Aurora reached the old oak stones, the park had gone quiet in the way only large, open places could—never truly silent, but emptied of the sounds th…"
1"It had gone still the moment she crossed the road, as if whatever called to it had retreated deeper inside."
2"Cool-headed, Eva always called her, as if that were a compliment and not a polite way of saying she walked into bad situations with her eyes open."
53.57% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags7
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"she whispered, though her mouth felt stiff"
0.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags7
fancyCount3
fancyTags
0"she muttered (mutter)"
1"she whispered (whisper)"
2"she whispered (whisper)"
dialogueSentences15
tagDensity0.467
leniency0.933
rawRatio0.429
effectiveRatio0.4
82.3648%