Run: 2026-03-09-01KKAC1AYHY29E39Q6J1BE8K7K

Run Details

Duration:
1m 38s
Cost:
$0.057925
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the horror genre. A character is alone in a strange, isolated place at night. They came here for a reason, but something feels off from the moment they arrive. The wrongness builds slowly — sounds that shouldn't be there, things that move at the edge of vision, a growing certainty that they are not alone. Build tension through restraint, not through gore. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for the character and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
By the time Aurora reached the old oaks, the park had gone quiet in the particular way only big stretches of London ever did at night. Not silence, exactly. Silence was simple. This was a layered absence—traffic reduced to a far-off hiss, the city pushed to the horizon, the dark between trees holding itself too carefully. She stopped at the boundary stones and checked her phone again. No signal. That, by itself, was not enough to mean anything. Richmond Park was broad, old, and patchy in places. She had lost signal here before. But tonight the dead screen seemed less like inconvenience and more like warning. The map had frozen ten minutes back, a useless blue dot hanging just outside the grove, and the battery had dropped from forty-two percent to nineteen in the time it took her to walk the last half mile. Aurora slid the phone into her jacket pocket and looked at the stones. Ancient oak, people said, though stone wasn’t oak and oak wasn’t stone. The phrase belonged to local stories, to pub talk and internet forums full of blurry photos and people either lying for attention or telling the truth badly. The “standing stones” at the grove’s edge were not grand, not like something from a postcard. They leaned in a rough ring beneath the trees, thick and dark and weather-smoothed, each one furred with moss that should have gone silver in the moonlight but instead looked almost black. They did not seem erected so much as grown. She touched the pendant through her shirt. The Heartstone was warm. Not body-warm. Not trapped-under-clothes warm. A steady pulse, faint and deliberate, like a second heartbeat pressed just below her collarbone. Deep crimson behind silver. She had almost left it at the flat, then changed her mind at the last second because the thing had started glowing while she laced her boots. That had been reason enough. Now, standing before the grove, she wished she had told someone where she was going. Silas would have asked too many questions. Eva would have insisted on coming. Yu-Fei would have given her one of those level looks and told her in crisp Cantonese-accented English not to be stupid after midnight unless there was money in it. There was no money in this. There was only the pendant’s warmth and the memory of what the old woman in the alley in Soho had said three nights ago, before disappearing into the rain as if she had stepped between drops. If it wakes, don’t let it wake in your room. Take it where the veil is thin. At the time Aurora had been too tired to chase nonsense. Now she was here, in the dark, because nonsense had become harder and harder to dismiss. She drew a breath and stepped between the stones. The air changed at once. Not colder. That would have been normal. This was softer and heavier, with a damp sweetness underneath it, the scent of crushed stems and rich soil after rain. Wildflowers crowded the clearing beyond in impossible abundance—foxgloves, buttercups, white stars she didn’t know by name, all blooming in the black middle of the year as if the seasons had been politely asked to wait outside. The moonlight looked wrong here. Too bright on one patch of grass, too dim on another. It collected on petals and drifted between branches like fine mist. The clearing was larger inside than it had any right to be from the path, a long oval of silvered ground enclosed by ash and beech and older things she could not identify at a glance. Their trunks twisted up and away, their bark pale and ridged like scar tissue. Aurora moved deeper into the grove, boots soundless in the damp grass. “Okay,” she murmured, because hearing a human voice—even her own—seemed sensible. “I’m here.” Nothing answered. She didn’t know what she had expected. A door, perhaps. A split in the air. Some cinematic tear in reality obliging her to rethink her life choices all at once. Instead there was only the clearing, lovely and still and wrong in ways too subtle to pin down. The pendant pulsed again. Warmer. She drew it free. It hung on its silver chain against her gloved palm, the crimson stone holding a faint inner glow like banked embers. Not enough to cast light. Enough to insist on itself. She watched it for a moment, then lifted her gaze slowly, turning in place. Every direction looked almost the same. That was the first thing that unsettled her properly. The grove had details—those white flowers near the eastern edge, the split trunk near the stones, the low mound to the right—but every time she fixed on one, the others seemed to rearrange themselves around it. Not moving. She would have noticed movement. But settling into different relationships when she wasn’t looking directly at them, as if the clearing disliked being mapped. She took ten steps toward the mound. A branch cracked behind her. Aurora turned so fast the pendant struck the heel of her hand. Nothing there. Just grass and flowers bowing slightly under a wind she couldn’t feel. A deer, she thought at once. Fox. Another person. But the sound had been too sharp and close, exactly at shoulder height, as if something standing behind her had set a careful foot on dry wood. She listened until her ears hurt with it. Far off, an owl called. Then, somewhere to her left, something made a small wet clicking noise. Aurora went still. It came again. Not loud. A neat, articulate click-click, like fingernails tapping against the back of teeth. She pivoted toward it. The flowers were motionless. The tree line held. “Hello?” she said, and hated the breathiness in her own voice. No reply. Just the owl again, farther away this time. Her mouth had gone dry. She tucked the pendant back beneath her shirt and took out her phone, not because it had signal but because the flashlight was still supposed to work. The screen lit, pale and weak. Eighteen percent. She switched on the torch. The beam cut across the clearing and immediately seemed to lose confidence. Light bled into the dark instead of striking it cleanly. The stems nearest her showed in hard white detail, every hair and vein sharp as print, while anything beyond six feet blurred at the edges as if she were shining the torch through breath. “All right,” she muttered. “Very funny.” She did not know who she was talking to. She made a slow circle, sweeping the light. No person. No animal eyes. No easy answer. At the western edge of the grove stood a cluster of birches she was sure had not been there a moment before. Aurora frowned and trained the beam on them. Their white trunks shone like bones. One had bark peeled back in a curling strip that looked for a jarring instant like a lip drawn away from teeth. She blinked and it was bark again. Her left wrist itched beneath her sleeve, the old crescent scar prickling in a way that always happened when she was cold or anxious. She rubbed at it absently, grounding herself in that small familiar flaw, and started toward the birches. The grass here was shorter. Flattened, as though something had passed over it again and again along the same narrow route. A path, except no dirt showed beneath. The flowers thinned. The sweet scent in the air soured around the edges, touched with stagnant water. The pendant flared hot against her chest. Aurora stopped dead. Not imagination. Not nerves. Heat spread through the stone in a sudden, fierce pulse that made her suck in a breath. It was what had brought her here: the one behavior she trusted because it was specific. Near a Hel portal, the unknown benefactor’s note had claimed, the Heartstone would wake. Her torch trembled a little in her grip. “Near” was an elastic word. Near could mean ten feet or ten miles, depending on who was trying to get you killed. She looked ahead. Beyond the birches, the dark gathered oddly around a patch of open ground. Not blacker than black. Thicker. The way deep water looked different from shadow even before you stepped into it. The moonlight did not touch that spot. It flowed around it, skimming the grass, leaving a shallow oval of dimness perhaps six feet across. Aurora took one careful step toward it. Behind her, close as breath, someone whispered, “Rory.” Every muscle in her body seized. The voice was low and male and intimately familiar. Not loud enough to identify at once, which somehow made it worse. The mind lunged to fill the gap. Evan. Her father. A stranger who knew her name. The sound had come from just beside her right ear with the shape of human speech and none of the warmth. She turned and nearly fell. The clearing behind her was empty. No one stood there. No one among the flowers, no one by the stones, no one beneath the trees. Aurora backed away until her calves hit the nearest birch. The trunk was slick and icy through her jeans. Her heartbeat had gone hard and rapid, every pulse punching at her throat. “This isn’t real,” she said quietly, though she did not believe it. “You’re hearing things. That’s all.” The grove listened. Then, from the other side of the clearing, her own voice answered, thin and exact. That’s all. The words drifted through the flowers and landed at her feet. Aurora did not move. A pressure had settled in the air, not on her skin but inside her ears, the way a storm announced itself before thunder. She scanned the clearing, slow and deliberate now, and saw at last what had been needling at her since she arrived. The flowers nearest the center were facing her. Not generally, not naturally angled toward moon or breeze. Turned. Their pale heads cocked in her direction as if they had all, one by one, been listening. Something moved between them. She caught only the suggestion of it: a line where no line should be, a vertical interruption gliding low through the blooms. Not a body crossing open ground but an absence moving through detail, like a seam being stitched shut. Aurora pushed off the tree and headed for the standing stones. No sprint. Panic wasted footing and thought. She walked fast, torch beam jerking, eyes fixed on the gap where she remembered entering. Twenty yards, maybe. Twenty-five. The stones did not get closer. Her stride faltered. She lengthened it, then broke into a run despite herself. Flowers slapped at her boots. Branches scraped her sleeve. The torchlight bounced wildly over the clearing—and the standing stones remained exactly where they had been, distant and patient, no nearer than before. The grove had folded. Aurora stopped, breathing hard through her nose. “No,” she whispered. At the far edge of the clearing, something pale slipped behind a trunk. Too tall for a fox. Too narrow for a person. It moved with a gliding economy that made her think not of walking but of a finger drawn down glass. The clicking noise came again. Closer now. Several clicks, overlapping, from different points in the dark. She turned in a slow circle. There were shapes among the trees. Once seen, they would not go unseen. Slender figures just inside the line of shadow, pale as the undersides of mushrooms, each one half-obscured by bark or leaf or distance. No faces she could make out. Only the impression of heads angled toward her, of limbs too long for comfort, of stillness so complete it felt theatrical. Waiting for her to acknowledge them. The Heartstone burned against her skin. Aurora swallowed and forced herself to think. A pocket between worlds. Time wrong. Boundaries wrong. Predators—if that was what they were—waiting at the edge instead of rushing in. Why? Because they couldn’t? Because they wanted her to come closer to something? The dark oval beyond the birches. Portal. The old woman’s voice returned with ghastly clarity. If it wakes, don’t let it wake in your room. Take it where the veil is thin. Not to close it. Not to use it. Just to bring it. As bait. A soft laugh rippled from the trees. It sounded almost delighted. Aurora’s fear sharpened into anger, clean and useful. “Right,” she said to the grove, and her voice steadied on the word. “No.” She pulled the pendant free and held it out at arm’s length. The crimson stone blazed. Light poured through it in a deep red pulse, not bright enough to banish the dark but strong enough to stain the grass and tree trunks the color of fresh sealing wax. The figures at the edge of the clearing recoiled all at once. Not much. An inch, perhaps two. But the motion was unmistakable. A hiss passed through the flowers like a gust through reeds. Good. Aurora fixed her eyes on the dark oval between the birches and began to walk toward it. Not because she wanted to. Because every instinct in her screamed that whatever waited at the perimeter wanted her contained in the clearing, circling, lost, until time did whatever it did here and the outside world shifted beyond reach. The only thing in the grove that felt directional, purposeful, was the place where the moonlight failed. If there was a way out, it would be through the wrongness, not around it. The clicking intensified, moving with her now. The pale shapes slid from tree to tree, matching her pace. Once, just at the edge of the torch beam, she glimpsed a hand wrapped around a trunk—too many joints, nails dark and glossy, skin stretched smooth as candle wax. She kept walking. Her breathing sounded enormous. The pendant’s heat bit into her palm. Ten feet. Eight. The dark patch opened before her like a pupil dilating. The air above it shimmered faintly, and beneath the stagnant-water smell came something colder, mineral and old, like stone cellars and opened graves in winter—not decay, exactly, but the atmosphere of things shut away. Hel portal, her mind supplied with clinical uselessness. At five feet, the torch cut out. The darkness did not rush in; it leaned. Aurora did not give herself time to hesitate. She drew one breath, another, and stepped to the edge of the oval. The ground there was not ground. Her boot met resistance that yielded half an inch too late, like standing on stretched skin over water. The pendant flared so hot she cried out and nearly dropped it. Behind her, all the waiting things moved. Not charging. Converging. Flowers bowed flat in widening lines. White trunks flashed. The clicking broke into a frenzy. Aurora looked down into the dark and saw, far below where no below should have been, a red reflection of her own hand holding the stone. Then another face rose toward it from beneath the surface, pale and blind and smiling with her mouth. She stepped back so violently she stumbled. The false Aurora surged upward in the dark membrane, straining from beneath as if held there by thin ice. Her features wavered and split, becoming too long, too broad, then hers again. The smile never changed. It pressed toward the surface until the dark bulged around it. The things in the grove were almost upon her. She could hear them now not just clicking but breathing, a humid eager sound among the birches. Aurora’s mind snagged on one hard practical fact: whatever was in the portal wanted out, and the pendant was the key it recognized. She did the only thing that made sense fast enough. With a sharp movement she yanked the silver chain over her head, swung once, and hurled the Heartstone into the center of the dark oval. The crimson light spun end over end and vanished through the surface without a splash. For one heartbeat, everything stopped. Then the grove screamed. Not with one voice. With dozens. High, thin, furious. The pale things recoiled so abruptly several struck trees with a brittle clatter of limbs. The dark oval convulsed inward, folding on itself. Red light pulsed from below, once, twice, then collapsed to a pinprick and went out. Aurora ran. This time the stones came toward her. She tore across the clearing half blind, branches lashing her face, flowers breaking underfoot. Behind her the screams thinned into ragged shrieks, then into something like laughter dragged backwards. She did not look over her shoulder. The standing stones loomed suddenly out of the dark, close enough to touch, moss slick under her palm as she lunged between them— —and staggered onto the ordinary park path under a wash of thin yellow light. A cyclist went by thirty yards off, headphones on, utterly unconcerned. Somewhere distant, a car horn sounded. The night smelled of wet tarmac and leaf mould, flat and normal and miraculous. Aurora bent double, hands on her knees, trying not to be sick. Her phone, when she dragged it from her pocket, showed 12:07 a.m. She had entered the grove just after eleven. Maybe an hour. Maybe five minutes. Maybe something else. Her neck felt naked without the pendant. She touched the empty skin there and looked back. Between the trees, beyond the standing stones, the clearing was dark and still. No red glow. No pale figures. Only the moon on winter branches. Then, deep in the grove, her own voice whispered softly, clearly, as if speaking through cupped hands: Rory. Aurora did not stop running until the park gates were in sight and the city had swallowed the dark.
created_at"2026-03-09T22:38:42.65Z" 3/9/2026, 10:38:42 PM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency3801
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time98428
tokens_prompt812
tokens_completion4670
native_tokens_prompt742
native_tokens_completion3738
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning55
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.057925
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ff5625c-403f-4d7f-b895-58ac7295062c"
id"resp_0aa2e7fd2ee79be90169af4bf2b99081949757c02b33e08ba9"
is_byokfalse
latency229
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773095922-vxEY2ks7UhIENlze8hpg"
upstream_id"resp_0aa2e7fd2ee79be90169af4bf2b99081949757c02b33e08ba9"
total_cost0.057925
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
57.14% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags7
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"she said quietly [quietly]"
dialogueSentences13
tagDensity0.538
leniency1
rawRatio0.143
effectiveRatio0.143
88.20% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2967
totalAiIsmAdverbs7
found
0
adverb"carefully"
count1
1
adverb"slowly"
count1
2
adverb"slightly"
count1
3
adverb"very"
count1
4
adverb"suddenly"
count1
5
adverb"utterly"
count1
6
adverb"softly"
count1
highlights
0"carefully"
1"slowly"
2"slightly"
3"very"
4"suddenly"
5"utterly"
6"softly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
69.67% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2967
totalAiIsms18
found
0
word"silence"
count2
1
word"pulse"
count4
2
word"warmth"
count2
3
word"pulsed"
count2
4
word"unsettled"
count1
5
word"familiar"
count2
6
word"trembled"
count1
7
word"scanned"
count1
8
word"shimmered"
count1
9
word"wavered"
count1
10
word"loomed"
count1
highlights
0"silence"
1"pulse"
2"warmth"
3"pulsed"
4"unsettled"
5"familiar"
6"trembled"
7"scanned"
8"shimmered"
9"wavered"
10"loomed"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences299
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount1
hedgeCount4
narrationSentences299
filterMatches
0"think"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"started to"
2"began to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences303
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen39
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2956
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions9
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
100.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions35
wordCount2933
uniqueNames9
maxNameDensity0.78
worstName"Aurora"
maxWindowNameDensity1.5
worstWindowName"Aurora"
discoveredNames
Aurora23
London1
Park1
Heartstone4
Cantonese-accented1
English1
Soho1
Hel2
Rory1
persons
0"Aurora"
1"Heartstone"
2"Rory"
places
0"London"
1"Park"
2"Soho"
3"Hel"
globalScore1
windowScore1
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences190
glossingSentenceCount3
matches
0"seemed sensible"
1"something like laughter dragged backwards"
2"as if speaking through cupped hands"
0.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches6
per1kWords2.03
wordCount2956
matches
0"not on her skin but inside her ears, the way a storm announced itself before thu"
1"Not a body crossing open ground but an absence moving through detail, like a seam being stitched"
2"not of walking but of a finger drawn down glass"
3"not bright enough to banish the dark but strong enough to stain the grass"
4"not decay, exactly, but the atmosphere of things shut away"
5"not just clicking but breathing, a humid eager sound among the birches"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences303
matches
0"touch that spot"
1"screamed that whatever"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs146
mean20.25
std19.6
cv0.968
sampleLengths
056
111
22
375
413
596
67
74
851
95
1015
1142
1242
1317
1427
159
165
1764
1877
1912
2013
212
2248
235
244
2545
266
2771
287
295
3012
3114
329
3327
348
355
3612
373
3817
394
408
4111
4210
4340
445
4556
466
479
4816
4922
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount2
totalSentences299
matches
0"being mapped"
1"being stitched"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount7
totalVerbs477
matches
0"was going"
1"wasn’t looking"
2"were shining"
3"was talking"
4"was trying"
5"were facing"
6"were—waiting"
39.13% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount13
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences11
totalSentences303
ratio0.036
matches
0"This was a layered absence—traffic reduced to a far-off hiss, the city pushed to the horizon, the dark between trees holding itself too carefully."
1"Wildflowers crowded the clearing beyond in impossible abundance—foxgloves, buttercups, white stars she didn’t know by name, all blooming in the black middle of the year as if the seasons had been politely asked to wait outside."
2"“Okay,” she murmured, because hearing a human voice—even her own—seemed sensible."
3"The grove had details—those white flowers near the eastern edge, the split trunk near the stones, the low mound to the right—but every time she fixed on one, the others seemed to rearrange themselves around it."
4"The torchlight bounced wildly over the clearing—and the standing stones remained exactly where they had been, distant and patient, no nearer than before."
5"Predators—if that was what they were—waiting at the edge instead of rushing in."
6"Once, just at the edge of the torch beam, she glimpsed a hand wrapped around a trunk—too many joints, nails dark and glossy, skin stretched smooth as candle wax."
7"The air above it shimmered faintly, and beneath the stagnant-water smell came something colder, mineral and old, like stone cellars and opened graves in winter—not decay, exactly, but the atmosphere of things shut away."
8"The darkness did not rush in; it leaned."
9"The standing stones loomed suddenly out of the dark, close enough to touch, moss slick under her palm as she lunged between them—"
10"—and staggered onto the ordinary park path under a wash of thin yellow light."
85.78% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2956
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"crisp Cantonese-accented English"
adverbCount146
adverbRatio0.04939106901217862
lyAdverbCount40
lyAdverbRatio0.013531799729364006
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences303
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences303
mean9.76
std7.9
cv0.809
sampleLengths
026
13
23
324
411
52
69
79
86
913
1038
1113
1212
1327
1416
1532
169
177
184
192
203
2115
224
2327
245
2515
267
276
2829
296
3036
3110
327
3311
3416
359
365
372
385
3921
4036
415
4211
4311
4436
4514
4612
4711
482
492
41.47% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats26
diversityRatio0.30033003300330036
totalSentences303
uniqueOpeners91
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount20
totalSentences260
matches
0"Too bright on one patch"
1"Instead there was only the"
2"Just grass and flowers bowing"
3"Then, somewhere to her left,"
4"Just the owl again, farther"
5"Then, from the other side"
6"Too tall for a fox."
7"Too narrow for a person."
8"Once seen, they would not"
9"Only the impression of heads"
10"Just to bring it."
11"Once, just at the edge"
12"Then another face rose toward"
13"Then the grove screamed."
14"Somewhere distant, a car horn"
15"Maybe an hour."
16"Maybe five minutes."
17"Maybe something else."
18"Only the moon on winter"
19"Then, deep in the grove,"
ratio0.077
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount62
totalSentences260
matches
0"She stopped at the boundary"
1"She had lost signal here"
2"They leaned in a rough"
3"They did not seem erected"
4"She touched the pendant through"
5"She had almost left it"
6"She drew a breath and"
7"It collected on petals and"
8"Their trunks twisted up and"
9"she murmured, because hearing a"
10"She didn’t know what she"
11"She drew it free."
12"It hung on its silver"
13"She watched it for a"
14"She would have noticed movement."
15"She took ten steps toward"
16"She listened until her ears"
17"It came again."
18"She pivoted toward it."
19"she said, and hated the"
ratio0.238
100.00% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount177
totalSentences260
matches
0"Silence was simple."
1"This was a layered absence—traffic"
2"She stopped at the boundary"
3"That, by itself, was not"
4"Richmond Park was broad, old,"
5"She had lost signal here"
6"The map had frozen ten"
7"Aurora slid the phone into"
8"The phrase belonged to local"
9"The at the grove’s edge"
10"They leaned in a rough"
11"They did not seem erected"
12"She touched the pendant through"
13"The Heartstone was warm."
14"A steady pulse, faint and"
15"She had almost left it"
16"That had been reason enough."
17"Silas would have asked too"
18"Eva would have insisted on"
19"Yu-Fei would have given her"
ratio0.681
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount10
totalSentences260
matches
0"By the time Aurora reached"
1"Now, standing before the grove,"
2"If it wakes, don’t let"
3"Now she was here, in"
4"Because they couldn’t?"
5"Because they wanted her to"
6"If it wakes, don’t let"
7"Because every instinct in her"
8"If there was a way"
9"—and staggered onto the ordinary"
ratio0.038
66.33% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences112
technicalSentenceCount12
matches
0"They leaned in a rough ring beneath the trees, thick and dark and weather-smoothed, each one furred with moss that should have gone silver in the moonlight but …"
1"There was only the pendant’s warmth and the memory of what the old woman in the alley in Soho had said three nights ago, before disappearing into the rain as if…"
2"Wildflowers crowded the clearing beyond in impossible abundance—foxgloves, buttercups, white stars she didn’t know by name, all blooming in the black middle of …"
3"But settling into different relationships when she wasn’t looking directly at them, as if the clearing disliked being mapped."
4"But the sound had been too sharp and close, exactly at shoulder height, as if something standing behind her had set a careful foot on dry wood."
5"The stems nearest her showed in hard white detail, every hair and vein sharp as print, while anything beyond six feet blurred at the edges as if she were shinin…"
6"Flattened, as though something had passed over it again and again along the same narrow route."
7"Their pale heads cocked in her direction as if they had all, one by one, been listening."
8"The only thing in the grove that felt directional, purposeful, was the place where the moonlight failed."
9"Her boot met resistance that yielded half an inch too late, like standing on stretched skin over water."
10"The false Aurora surged upward in the dark membrane, straining from beneath as if held there by thin ice."
11"Then, deep in the grove, her own voice whispered softly, clearly, as if speaking through cupped hands:"
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags7
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
0.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags7
fancyCount4
fancyTags
0"she murmured (murmur)"
1"she muttered (mutter)"
2"breath someone whispered (whisper)"
3"she whispered (whisper)"
dialogueSentences13
tagDensity0.538
leniency1
rawRatio0.571
effectiveRatio0.571
84.9243%