Run: 2026-03-09-01KKAC31AMQS6QG1JXKP9FX9NY

Run Details

Duration:
1m 56s
Cost:
$0.075355
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
By half nine the after-work crowd had thinned into the steadier kind of drinker: men who rolled whisky around their tongues as if trying to extract advice from it, women bent over low conversations they did not want overheard, a pair of tourists in the corner pretending not to be lost. The Raven’s Nest always looked best at this hour. The green neon above the entrance bled through the front windows in a weak marine wash, catching on the rims of glasses and the brass foot rail. Old maps climbed the walls in cracked frames. Black-and-white photographs of faces Aurora did not know watched the room with a kind of exhausted patience. She sat at the far end of the bar with a mug of tea gone nearly cold in her hands and the ache of the evening still in her shoulders. Delivery shifts always settled in her body late, after the bike had been chained up and the insulated bag dropped by the stairs, after the city had stopped demanding quick decisions every thirty seconds. Then her knees remembered the traffic lights, her wrists remembered the weight of cartons, and the bridge of her nose remembered the fine drizzle that had started at seven and never fully committed to rain. Silas polished a glass with the same white cloth he had been using for the last twenty minutes. He never seemed to hurry. Even his limp had a deliberate quality to it, as if he had long ago folded pain into the rhythm of his life and refused to let it set the pace. The silver signet ring on his right hand flashed each time he turned the glass in the light. “You’re glaring at the tea,” he said. “I’m trying to bully it into being coffee.” “That would require stronger intelligence than either of us possesses.” Aurora smiled despite herself. “Speak for yourself, Spymaster.” He set the glass down, satisfied with whatever flaw only he could see. “Long night?” “Golden Empress had a table of ten decide, one by one, that they’d all developed different allergies between ordering and eating. I delivered to a man in Fitzrovia wearing a robe, a cycling helmet, and no visible shame. So. Average.” Silas’s mouth twitched. “London continues to reward the observant.” The door opened on a gust of damp air and street noise. Aurora looked up out of habit, the way anyone who spent enough nights in bars learned to do, and the mug paused halfway to her mouth. For a second she thought she was mistaken. Years could do strange things to faces. They eroded certainty first. They rearranged people in small, treacherous ways—a sharpened jaw, a changed posture, some new economy in the eyes. But this was Bethan Rees. Even before the mind settled on the name, Aurora knew her by the way she stood just inside the doorway and scanned a room as if she could take its temperature in one sweep. Except Bethan used to enter places like she owned the oxygen in them. She had once been all velocity and jangling bracelets and red lipstick outside school rules, a girl who laughed too loudly in cinemas and climbed onto seawalls in the dark. The woman under the green glow wore a charcoal coat that looked expensive without trying, her dark hair cut into a blunt, glossy line at her jaw. No bracelets. No lipstick. No edges left untended. There was something courtroom-clean about her. Aurora set the mug down too hard. Tea slopped against the rim. Silas’s eyes flicked from her face to the door and back. He missed very little. “Friend of yours?” Aurora did not answer quickly enough. Bethan saw her. The recognition was immediate and almost ugly in its force. It crossed Bethan’s face before she could school it: surprise first, then caution, then something softer and more dangerous. She closed the door behind her and stood there with one hand still on the brass handle, as if she had not yet decided whether to stay. Aurora had the absurd thought that she should check a mirror. She had come down from the flat in an old black jumper and jeans, hair pushed behind one ear and then forgotten, the crescent scar on her left wrist pale against the mug. Not exactly the composed apparition one wanted for a reunion she had never imagined having. Silas, who possessed the discretion of a man who knew exactly how much people paid for privacy, reached for another glass and moved down the bar without a word. Bethan crossed the room. “Rory,” she said. Nobody in London called her that except Eva and Silas when he was teasing. Hearing it in Bethan’s voice made the years between Cardiff and now feel both flimsy and immense. “Beth.” Close up, the changes were worse. Or maybe only more honest. Bethan had always been pretty in the slapdash way of girls too alive to care what they looked like; now she was beautiful in the restrained, expensive way that suggested structure and sleep and some mastery over chaos. But she also looked tired around the eyes. Not exhausted, exactly. Worn with purpose. “I didn’t know you lived in London,” Bethan said. Aurora almost laughed at the neatness of that sentence. All the things inside it. I lost track of you. You vanished. You didn’t tell me. “I do,” Aurora said. “Bit north of the official brochure version of it, but yes.” Bethan’s gaze slid past her to Silas, to the bar, the maps, the photographs. “Do you work here?” “Sort of. I live upstairs. I help out sometimes. Mostly I do deliveries for a Chinese place round the corner.” “That sounds very you,” Bethan said, then frowned slightly. “No, that’s not right.” “No?” “No.” Bethan gave a brief, apologetic shake of her head. “I’m still thinking of you at nineteen.” Aurora leaned one hip against the bar because otherwise she might have shifted under the weight of that. “Dangerous habit.” Bethan looked as though she might smile. “Historically, yes.” Silas appeared at Bethan’s elbow with the timing of a stagehand. “What can I get you?” Bethan looked up, momentarily wrong-footed. “A gin and tonic, please.” “Of course.” He inclined his head and went to build it, leaving the silence between the women to fend for itself. Bethan slipped out of her coat. Underneath she wore a cream blouse and dark trousers, severe enough to be a uniform. Aurora noticed a leather case tucked under one arm, the corner of a file visible inside. Not coming from dinner, then. Coming from work. Or still in it. “You look…” Bethan began, then stopped. Aurora spared her. “Also not nineteen.” “That too.” There it was again, the almost-smile. It made something in Aurora’s chest tighten. Bethan used to grin with her whole body. The contained version felt like seeing a childhood house with the windows bricked in. Silas set down the gin and tonic. Bethan thanked him, and he retreated to the other end of the bar, where he began a conversation with a regular that involved mostly listening. Bethan wrapped her fingers around the glass. “I had a meeting nearby. Someone recommended this place.” “Someone with taste.” “I was told the owner is discreet.” Aurora glanced down the bar. “He charges extra for eavesdropping.” Bethan followed her look. “He looks like he knows where bodies are buried.” “He probably knows where they were buried, by whom, and what they’d had for lunch.” That got a real laugh out of Bethan, quick and startled. For a moment she was there again: seventeen, leaning out a bus window into rain, shouting lyrics at passing strangers. The sound vanished almost as soon as it came. She took a sip. “I’m a solicitor,” she said, as if confessing to a manageable crime. “Family law.” Aurora blinked. “You hated everyone in law.” “I still do, broadly speaking.” “And yet.” “And yet.” Bethan rotated the glass by its stem. “Life is vulgar in its sense of humour.” Aurora could not stop herself. “You were going to be a photographer.” Bethan’s face altered by a degree. “I was.” The answer landed with a quiet finality that made Aurora wish she had not asked. She looked down at her tea instead, the skin gathering at the top. “What about you?” Bethan said. “I remember prospectuses. Debating societies. Your father’s dream of seeing Carter on a brass plate.” “He’ll have to settle for seeing it on takeaway receipts.” Bethan let that sit a second, measuring whether Aurora wanted the joke to remain a joke. “You left university?” “Eventually. In every sense.” “Ah.” Aurora could hear Cardiff in the shape of Bethan’s silence. Wet pavements shining under streetlamps. The university library at dusk. Cheap chips on St Mary Street. The flat she had shared with Evan for seven months that had felt longer than several geologic periods. She had not spoken Bethan’s name in years. Avoidance had become its own muscle. “I should have told you,” she said before she could decide not to. Bethan’s fingers stilled on the glass. “Yes.” No drama. No accusation sharpened for use. Just yes. Aurora looked at her then. “I wanted to. Every few months, I’d think, right, enough, just send a message. Something normal. I’m alive. London’s awful. The rent is criminal. But then too much time had passed, and it started to feel strange to turn up after—” “After disappearing.” “Yes.” Bethan took another sip. “You did that very well.” The words were mild. The hurt in them was not. Aurora drew her thumb over the crescent scar on her wrist, an old habit she only noticed when she was already doing it. “I know.” Bethan watched the movement. In school she had once bandaged that wrist with a handkerchief after Aurora had caught it on broken glass climbing a wall behind the tennis courts. They had been fifteen and stupid and convinced their bodies would always forgive them. “I rang you for weeks,” Bethan said. “Then I stopped because I thought if I heard your voicemail one more time I’d throw my phone in the Taff.” Aurora gave a pained little laugh. “Reasonable.” “Eva answered once.” At the mention of Eva, Aurora’s shoulders went tight. “She told me.” “Did she?” Bethan’s expression did not change. “Then she didn’t tell you I was furious enough to come to London and drag you back by your ankle.” “She may have edited for style.” “She always was diplomatic when it wasn’t her own life.” Bethan looked into her drink. “I wasn’t only angry.” Aurora did not fill the space. Bethan did it herself. “I was scared.” The noise of the bar went strangely distant. A burst of laughter from the tourists, ice dropping into a shaker, traffic hissing outside on wet pavement—all of it slipped back like scenery. Aurora felt, with miserable clarity, the shape of what she had done. Not merely leaving. Making people imagine the worst because imagining the best had not seemed available. “I know,” she said again, and hated how poor the words were. Bethan’s mouth tightened. “Do you?” “Yes.” Aurora forced herself not to look away. “I didn’t have a version of leaving that wasn’t ugly. Evan made sure of that. By the time I got out, I couldn’t bear explaining it. Or hearing anyone say I should have left sooner, or ask why I stayed, or look at me in that way people do when they’ve decided your bad choices are contagious.” Bethan’s eyes sharpened. “I would not have done that.” “No,” Aurora said quietly. “You wouldn’t.” That was, perhaps, the center of it. Bethan had been safe, and Aurora had still avoided her. Shame was indiscriminate. It did not sort the dangerous from the kind. It scorched in every direction. Bethan set down her glass. “Then why me?” Aurora swallowed. Across the room, Silas was pretending not to watch them with the concentration of a man who knew exactly when a bottle might be needed. “Because you knew me before,” Aurora said. “Before him, before all of it. And I couldn’t stand the thought of you seeing what I’d let my life become.” Bethan held her gaze a long time. “That’s an interesting way to describe surviving.” Aurora exhaled, shaky and small. “I’m not very generous to myself.” “No,” Bethan said. “You never were.” A man came in, shook rain from his coat, ordered a pint. The room shifted around them and settled again. Bethan picked up the file case and rested it on the stool beside her. “You look all right now,” she said. “Do I?” “You look like someone who learned to keep her balance on moving ground.” It was such a Bethan sentence—more thoughtful than flattering, precise enough to hurt—that Aurora felt a sudden, absurd urge to cry. She pressed her teeth together until it passed. “And you,” she said, because there was no avoiding it, “look like somebody stole your motorcycle and gave you a chambers account.” That smile again, fuller this time. “I never had a motorcycle.” “You had the spirit of one.” “I had three parking tickets before I was eighteen.” “Exactly.” Bethan’s smile faded by degrees. “My mother got ill the year after you left.” Aurora straightened. “Beth, I didn’t know.” “No.” Bethan’s voice remained even, but she looked at the condensation on her glass instead of at Aurora. “Breast cancer. She was fine and then not fine and then we were all speaking in percentages as if that made any of it mathematical. I deferred everything. The photography course in Bristol, the plan to leave, all of it. I stayed home. Helped Dad. Went to lectures at Cardiff because they were practical and nearby and came with a future people approved of.” Aurora felt the regret arrive in her body like cold. She had missed all of it. The appointments, the fear, the compromises made one exhausted week at a time. “Is she—” “She’s alive,” Bethan said. “Which is more than some families get. She’s also impossible and thinks my job is glamorous because sometimes I wear good shoes to court.” Relief moved through Aurora, thin and insufficient. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” Bethan gave a tiny shrug. “You weren’t there for a lot of things.” The sentence was not cruel. It was worse: factual. Aurora nodded once. There was nothing defensible to say. They stood in it together, the years lined up between them like glasses on a shelf. Aurora thought of all the selves they had each abandoned. The girls on the sea wall. The women they had intended to become. How little intention counted once life began in earnest. “I did look for your work once,” Aurora said. Bethan glanced up. “My work?” “Photographs. Online. Anywhere. I thought maybe I’d see one in a magazine and know, all right, there she is, she did it.” Bethan’s expression gentled into something almost unreadable. “I still take pictures.” “You do?” “Mostly in the early mornings. Bridges. People waiting for buses. My neighbour’s cat. Very grand subjects.” Aurora smiled. “The cat probably deserves it.” “The cat has a stronger sense of self than most barristers.” There was room, suddenly, for breath. Bethan reached into the file case and drew out a business card. She hesitated, then slid it across the bar. Rees & Halloran Solicitors, Family Law Department. Her name below, clean black type. Aurora looked at it but did not pick it up immediately. “You’re giving me legal representation or your number?” “Both, if you continue living over a bar and collecting trouble.” “I collect trouble selectively.” “That has not historically been your method.” Aurora took the card. “Fair.” On the back, handwritten in blue ink, was a mobile number and, beneath it, another line: Saturday mornings, Columbia Road market, camera in hand if the weather’s decent. Aurora traced the writing with her thumb. “Is this an invitation?” “It’s me trying not to be nineteen about this.” “And if I say no?” Bethan finished her drink. “Then I’ll leave and tell myself I was right to stop ringing.” Aurora let that settle. She could feel the old reflex rise in her—the instinct to defer, to promise later, to slip sideways out of anything that might ask constancy of her. But Bethan was standing right there, changed and not changed, carrying the years honestly. Aurora was tired of being the thing that vanished. “I’ll come,” she said. Bethan studied her face, perhaps testing for politeness, for evasion. Whatever she found seemed to satisfy her, or at least not displease her. “All right.” Silas drifted near enough to collect Bethan’s empty glass. His hazel eyes flicked over the card in Aurora’s hand and then to her face, unreadable except for the faintest lift of one brow. He said only, “Another?” Bethan checked the time on her phone and shook her head. “I can’t. Early start.” “Pity,” Silas said. “You have the look of someone with at least one good story left in her.” Bethan glanced at Aurora. “Don’t worry. She knows most of the bad ones.” Aurora gave a soft huff of laughter. “And a few invented for dramatic effect.” Bethan slipped back into her coat. At the door she paused, one hand on the brass handle exactly as she had when she entered. The green neon brushed her cheekbone, made her look briefly unreal. “Rory,” she said. Aurora looked up. “I did miss you.” Simple words. No garnish. They struck with ridiculous force. “I missed you too,” Aurora said, and this time the truth of it came cleanly, without shame trying to intercept it. Bethan nodded, once. Then she went out into the wet Soho night, shoulders straight, swallowed by the glow and traffic and all the anonymous movement of the city. Aurora stood for a long moment with the card in her hand. Silas wiped a ring of condensation from the bar. “Well,” he said at last, “that was either a disaster or a beginning.” Aurora slid the card carefully into her back pocket. Beyond the window, the green sign hummed over the pavement. In the glass she could see her own reflection layered over old maps and strangers’ photographs, a face both familiar and altered, as all faces were if one looked long enough. “Maybe both,” she said. Silas grunted approval, as if that answer accorded with long experience. Aurora picked up her tea. It was stone cold now, tannic and unpleasant. She drank it anyway.
created_at"2026-03-09T22:39:38.335Z" 3/9/2026, 10:39:38 PM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency20470
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time115509
tokens_prompt867
tokens_completion4946
native_tokens_prompt808
native_tokens_completion4889
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning904
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.075355
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ff5625c-403f-4d7f-b895-58ac7295062c"
id"resp_024a0c33fe5695740169af4c2a6e6881909655673cc650cea3"
is_byokfalse
latency170
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773095978-ED9O7lhKYNgbrLEzUydk"
upstream_id"resp_024a0c33fe5695740169af4c2a6e6881909655673cc650cea3"
total_cost0.075355
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags33
adverbTagCount4
adverbTags
0"Bethan began then [then]"
1"she said again [again]"
2"Aurora said quietly [quietly]"
3"He said only [only]"
dialogueSentences128
tagDensity0.258
leniency0.516
rawRatio0.121
effectiveRatio0.063
85.45% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount3093
totalAiIsmAdverbs9
found
0
adverb"very"
count5
1
adverb"quickly"
count1
2
adverb"slightly"
count1
3
adverb"suddenly"
count1
4
adverb"carefully"
count1
highlights
0"very"
1"quickly"
2"slightly"
3"suddenly"
4"carefully"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
72.52% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount3093
totalAiIsms17
found
0
word"weight"
count2
1
word"treacherous"
count1
2
word"scanned"
count1
3
word"flicked"
count2
4
word"restrained"
count1
5
word"structure"
count1
6
word"silence"
count2
7
word"sense of"
count2
8
word"unreadable"
count2
9
word"traced"
count1
10
word"could feel"
count1
11
word"familiar"
count1
highlights
0"weight"
1"treacherous"
2"scanned"
3"flicked"
4"restrained"
5"structure"
6"silence"
7"sense of"
8"unreadable"
9"traced"
10"could feel"
11"familiar"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences224
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount2
hedgeCount3
narrationSentences224
filterMatches
0"look"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"tended to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences320
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen64
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords3088
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions40
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
0.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions147
wordCount2170
uniqueNames23
maxNameDensity2.63
worstName"Bethan"
maxWindowNameDensity5
worstWindowName"Aurora"
discoveredNames
Raven1
Nest1
Aurora54
Bethan57
Rees2
London1
Eva2
Silas13
Cardiff2
St1
Mary1
Street1
Evan1
Relief1
Halloran1
Solicitors1
Family1
Law1
Department1
Saturday1
Columbia1
Road1
Soho1
persons
0"Raven"
1"Nest"
2"Aurora"
3"Bethan"
4"Rees"
5"Eva"
6"Silas"
7"Evan"
8"Relief"
places
0"London"
1"Cardiff"
2"St"
3"Mary"
4"Street"
5"Columbia"
6"Road"
7"Soho"
globalScore0.187
windowScore0
58.09% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences136
glossingSentenceCount5
matches
0"as if trying to extract advice from it, women bent over low conversations they did not want overheard, a pair of tourists in the corner pretending not to be lost"
1"looked like; now she was beautiful in the"
2"felt like seeing a childhood house with"
3"as if confessing to a manageable crime"
4"seemed available"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches0
per1kWords0
wordCount3088
matches(empty)
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount4
totalSentences320
matches
0"let that sit"
1"bandaged that wrist"
2"hurt—that Aurora"
3"let that settle"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs158
mean19.54
std19.82
cv1.014
sampleLengths
0112
199
272
37
48
510
68
715
840
99
1038
1176
1284
1312
1418
156
163
1756
1859
1929
204
213
2231
231
2463
259
2625
2715
2818
2920
3013
311
3217
3320
349
3516
3610
3721
3849
396
406
412
4235
4332
4416
453
467
4710
4813
4915
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount3
totalSentences224
matches
0"been chained"
1"was mistaken"
2"been fifteen"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount4
totalVerbs380
matches
0"was teasing"
1"was already doing"
2"was pretending"
3"was standing"
98.21% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount5
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences5
totalSentences320
ratio0.016
matches
0"They rearranged people in small, treacherous ways—a sharpened jaw, a changed posture, some new economy in the eyes."
1"Bethan had always been pretty in the slapdash way of girls too alive to care what they looked like; now she was beautiful in the restrained, expensive way that suggested structure and sleep and some mastery over chaos."
2"A burst of laughter from the tourists, ice dropping into a shaker, traffic hissing outside on wet pavement—all of it slipped back like scenery."
3"It was such a Bethan sentence—more thoughtful than flattering, precise enough to hurt—that Aurora felt a sudden, absurd urge to cry."
4"She could feel the old reflex rise in her—the instinct to defer, to promise later, to slip sideways out of anything that might ask constancy of her."
93.61% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2151
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"below, clean black type."
adverbCount87
adverbRatio0.040446304044630406
lyAdverbCount27
lyAdverbRatio0.012552301255230125
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences320
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences320
mean9.65
std9.03
cv0.935
sampleLengths
051
19
227
38
417
530
634
735
818
95
1031
1118
127
138
1410
154
164
1713
182
1940
203
216
2212
2326
248
257
264
2718
285
2934
3013
3130
3227
332
342
354
366
377
385
3911
404
413
426
433
4410
4519
4627
4711
4833
4915
45.00% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats16
diversityRatio0.290625
totalSentences320
uniqueOpeners93
50.51% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount3
totalSentences198
matches
0"Then her knees remembered the"
1"Even his limp had a"
2"Then she went out into"
ratio0.015
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount38
totalSentences198
matches
0"She sat at the far"
1"He never seemed to hurry."
2"He set the glass down,"
3"They eroded certainty first."
4"They rearranged people in small,"
5"She had once been all"
6"He missed very little."
7"It crossed Bethan’s face before"
8"She closed the door behind"
9"She had come down from"
10"I lost track of you."
11"You didn’t tell me."
12"He inclined his head and"
13"It made something in Aurora’s"
14"She took a sip."
15"she said, as if confessing"
16"She looked down at her"
17"She had not spoken Bethan’s"
18"she said before she could"
19"They had been fifteen and"
ratio0.192
61.01% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount158
totalSentences198
matches
0"The Raven’s Nest always looked"
1"The green neon above the"
2"She sat at the far"
3"Delivery shifts always settled in"
4"Silas polished a glass with"
5"He never seemed to hurry."
6"The silver signet ring on"
7"Aurora smiled despite herself."
8"He set the glass down,"
9"Silas’s mouth twitched."
10"The door opened on a"
11"Aurora looked up out of"
12"Years could do strange things"
13"They eroded certainty first."
14"They rearranged people in small,"
15"She had once been all"
16"The woman under the green"
17"Aurora set the mug down"
18"Tea slopped against the rim."
19"Silas’s eyes flicked from her"
ratio0.798
25.25% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount1
totalSentences198
matches
0"Even before the mind settled"
ratio0.005
93.25% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences72
technicalSentenceCount5
matches
0"By half nine the after-work crowd had thinned into the steadier kind of drinker: men who rolled whisky around their tongues as if trying to extract advice from …"
1"Then her knees remembered the traffic lights, her wrists remembered the weight of cartons, and the bridge of her nose remembered the fine drizzle that had start…"
2"Even his limp had a deliberate quality to it, as if he had long ago folded pain into the rhythm of his life and refused to let it set the pace."
3"She had once been all velocity and jangling bracelets and red lipstick outside school rules, a girl who laughed too loudly in cinemas and climbed onto seawalls …"
4"The woman under the green glow wore a charcoal coat that looked expensive without trying, her dark hair cut into a blunt, glossy line at her jaw."
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags33
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"she said, as if confessing to a manageable crime"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags24
fancyCount0
fancyTags(empty)
dialogueSentences128
tagDensity0.188
leniency0.375
rawRatio0
effectiveRatio0
86.0968%