Run: 2026-03-09-01KKAC3NTFR5ABQF17K52DXM29

Run Details

Duration:
1m 49s
Cost:
$0.069190
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The Raven’s Nest always looked half-asleep from the street, as if the green neon sign above the entrance had been left burning by mistake. It buzzed in the damp Soho evening, throwing a sickly glow over the wet pavement. Rory paused beneath it with her bike helmet hooked over two fingers and the smell of rain still on her jacket. Her shoulders ached from a long shift at the Golden Empress, from traffic and takeaway bags and the cold that had settled into London in that mean, needling way it had. Inside, the bar gave back the usual hush of low voices and amber light. Old maps papered the walls in faded browns and sea-greens; black-and-white photographs leaned in mismatched frames as if they had all overheard too much to stand straight. The floorboards creaked under familiar feet. Somewhere near the back, somebody laughed once and stopped. Glass touched wood. A radio behind the bar murmured jazz so softly it sounded like memory. Silas looked up as she came in. He was polishing a tumbler with a white cloth that had never once made a glass truly spotless, and the silver signet ring on his right hand caught the light when he turned it. He gave her the small nod he reserved for regulars and strays and people he trusted enough not to ask too many questions. “You look frozen,” he said. “I am frozen.” “Tea or whisky?” She hung the helmet on the peg under the bar and considered the question with more seriousness than it deserved. “Tea pretending to be whisky.” “One of your more expensive habits.” He moved with his usual slight limp, favoring the left leg as he reached for the kettle he kept hidden beneath the counter as if the place would lose its reputation if anyone knew it served chamomile. His grey-streaked auburn hair was combed back, his beard trimmed close, his expression neutral in the practiced way of a man who had spent years watching other people reveal themselves. Rory slid onto a stool and rubbed at the crescent scar on her left wrist with the thumb of her right hand, an old unconscious habit. The bar was fuller than a weekday usually brought: a pair of media types in expensive coats talking too loudly near the window, a tired-looking woman in red lipstick smoking the last drag of an e-cigarette she wasn’t meant to have indoors, a man in a flat cap bent over a crossword as if his life depended on fifteen across. And one man she did not know, sitting alone three stools down with his hand around a glass of something brown. She noticed him first because he was turned slightly away, broad-shouldered in a dark coat that had seen better years, and because there was something familiar in the line of his neck. Then he shifted, and the light hit his face. For a second her mind refused to fit him into a shape it recognized. He was older, of course. They all were. But age wasn’t the shock of it. It was what age had done. The boy she remembered had been all loose limbs and careless energy, blond curls falling into his eyes, a grin always half-loaded and ready to fire. The man at the bar had cropped his hair close enough to show the pale geometry of his skull. His face had narrowed. One cheekbone sat sharper than the other, as if something had once broken and healed with a private grudge. A fine white scar nicked through one eyebrow. He wore a beard, not out of fashion but neglect. Even sitting still, he had the wary stillness of someone who had learned not to waste motion. Then he turned fully, and she saw his eyes. Grey. The same as ever. He blinked at her once, and all the blood seemed to leave her hands. “Rory?” No one had called her that in that voice in years. Silas set down the mug in front of her. His gaze flicked from her face to the man’s and settled nowhere obvious. “Friend of yours?” “I—” Her throat felt lined with dust. “I think so.” The man gave a short laugh with no real amusement in it and stood up. He was taller than she remembered. Or maybe he had just grown into the height he’d always been promising. “That’s a brutal thing to say after fifteen years.” “Tom.” There it was. A simple name, and somehow saying it made the air heavier. Tom Hughes had been the center of half her childhood memories. Cardiff rain and school blazers and stolen chips on the sea wall. He had taught her how to climb the fence behind the leisure center without tearing her tights. She had once taken a punch for him in Year Nine and split her lip. He had kissed her behind the gym at seventeen with all the solemn intensity of a boy discovering reverence and hunger at once. He had left three weeks later without saying goodbye. Now he stood in front of her with one hand still around his glass, looking as startled as if she had stepped out of a grave. “I didn’t know you were in London,” she said. “I wasn’t, until I was.” His mouth shifted, almost a smile. “Can I sit?” “It’s a free country.” “That answer hasn’t changed.” He sat beside her, and she became fiercely aware of the inches between them. Silas said nothing. He had the gift of making discretion look accidental. He drifted down the bar to collect empty glasses from the loud pair at the window, but not so far that he couldn’t hear if hearing became necessary. Tom glanced at the mug in front of her. “Tea pretending to be whisky?” She looked at him sharply. “How do you know that?” “You used to say it before exams.” “I said a lot of things before exams.” “You did.” His voice had changed too. It was lower now, roughened at the edges, the old Cardiff brightness dulled but not gone. She could hear years in it she knew nothing about. She wrapped both hands around the mug for something to do. “You look different.” “Thank you,” he said dryly. “You don’t.” “That’s a lie.” “A partial one.” He took a sip from his glass and looked ahead at the bottles rather than at her. She studied him openly now, because pretending not to felt childish. The dark coat. The callused knuckles. The small notch in the lobe of one ear. His wrist beneath the cuff was lean and roped with tendon. There was a tiredness in him that hadn’t been there before, not merely physical but settled deeper, like sediment. She heard herself ask, “What happened to your face?” He touched the scar in his eyebrow without surprise. “Someone else’s bad day. Mine too, as it turned out.” “That sounds ominous.” “It was less glamorous than it sounds. Pub in Bristol. Poor judgment. Gravity.” Rory gave a single soft exhale that might, in kinder circumstances, have become a laugh. “Still a terrible liar.” “That too.” Silas returned long enough to set a fresh bowl of nuts between them. Tom looked up. Recognition flashed a beat late. “Blackwood,” he said. Silas inclined his head. “Mr. Hughes.” Rory stared between them. “You know each other?” “‘Know’ would be generous,” Silas said. “We’ve occupied some of the same rooms.” Tom looked faintly embarrassed. “I’ve been in a few times.” “And yet,” Rory said, “somehow this never came up.” Silas spread his hands. “You never asked whether every melancholy man in Soho was someone from your adolescence.” “That’s not an answer.” “It is the only one on offer.” He moved away before she could push further. Tom watched him go with a look she couldn’t decipher. “You come here often?” she asked. Tom huffed. “Careful. That sounds like flirting, and we’ve both aged out of our lines.” “We did not flirt with lines. We just stood near each other and made things unbearable.” That pulled a real smile from him at last, quick and crooked and painfully familiar. For one dangerous second she could see the seventeen-year-old boy inside the man, alive and incandescent. Then it was gone. “I’m in London for work,” he said. “What work?” He rolled the glass between his palms. “Security.” “Meaning?” “Meaning I spend a lot of time making sure expensive things remain where expensive people put them.” “Bodyguard?” “Sometimes.” The answer landed oddly. In school Tom had never been still enough to study, never dutiful enough for anything that required routine. He had wanted music, or football, or to vanish into one of the impossible futures boys invent because the real ones look too much like their fathers. Security sounded like a life built after impact. “You hated being told what to do,” she said. “I found people willing to pay me for choosing when not to listen.” “Is that working out?” “Some days.” He did not ask what she was doing now, and the omission stung more than if he had. It made her feel filed away, preserved in his mind as a girl in a school uniform with ink on her fingers, as if the years between had not earned inquiry. So she said it anyway. “I deliver takeaway for a Chinese restaurant in Chinatown. Part-time. I live upstairs.” Tom turned toward her then, properly. “Upstairs?” “From here.” His gaze flicked upward, toward the unseen flat above the ceiling, then back to her face. “You live above a bar.” “I know. My parents are thrilled.” He gave a soft grunt. “I thought you’d be a solicitor by now.” “So did my father.” “What happened?” The question was innocent enough. It hit like a thumb pressed to a bruise. Rory looked down into her tea. The steam had thinned. “Life,” she said. Tom nodded, but she could feel him hearing the evasion. He had always been annoyingly good at that. He said, more quietly, “I heard about your mum.” Her head came up. “How?” “Eva told my sister. A while ago.” His expression altered, the roughness easing into something gentler. “I’m sorry, Rory.” Jennifer Carter had been dead nearly four years, and grief had long since stopped being dramatic. It no longer arrived as a wave. It showed up in smaller, meaner ways: a grocery list written in handwriting that looked wrong because it was hers, not her mother’s; the smell of a chalky classroom; a woman in a station turning with the same impatient tilt of the head. Yet hearing I’m sorry from Tom, after all this time, loosened something in her chest she had not realized was tight. “Thanks,” she said. “I should have—” He stopped. “What?” she asked. “Nothing.” “No. Go on.” He looked at the bar top. His fingers were blunt and square and familiar in their unfamiliarity. “I should have called when I heard. But by then it had been so long it seemed…” He searched for the word and failed to find one that could survive the truth. “Arrogant.” “It would have been kind.” “I know.” The worst part was that he did know. She could see it in the way he said it, stripped of defense. Outside, a bus hissed past in the wet street. The window caught a smear of red light and let it go. At the far end of the bar, somebody fed coins into the jukebox and chose a song too sad for a room full of strangers. Rory said, “Why did you leave like that?” Tom’s jaw shifted once. There it was. The old buried thing between them, dragged into the light not because she had planned to, but because years only made certain questions harder to carry. “I was eighteen,” he said. “That’s not an answer.” “It’s the truest one I’ve got.” “You vanished.” “I went to Manchester with Kev.” “You vanished,” she repeated. “No note. No call. Nothing. I went by your house and your mum said you’d gone north and didn’t know when you’d be back.” Her voice remained level by force. “Do you know how humiliating that was?” He closed his eyes briefly. “Yes.” “No, you don’t.” “No,” he said, opening them again. “Probably not.” Silas passed behind them carrying a crate of bottles. He did not interrupt, but she saw the brief angle of his head, that tiny acknowledgment of danger in the room. Not physical danger. The kind more likely in bars than broken glass. Tom set down his drink with care. “My dad had just been arrested,” he said. “My mum was in pieces. Kev had a mate with a sofa and a line on work and I thought if I stayed one more week I was going to turn into him. So I left.” “You could have told me.” “Yes.” “Why didn’t you?” He looked at her then, straight on, and all the half-easy answers disappeared from his face. “Because you’d have asked me to stay.” The directness of it went through her. “Maybe I would have.” “I know you would have.” His voice had become very still. “And I wanted to stay. That was the problem.” She said nothing. The bar around them seemed to recede, every sound going muffled and distant. Tom went on, quieter now. “You were the only good thing in Cardiff by the end. You and your mum feeding me lasagne and pretending not to notice when I nicked cigarettes from your garden shed. You with your plans and your books and your stupid certainty that there was always a way out if you were clever enough. I loved being near you. And I hated it too, because every time I was with you I could see exactly how small my life was going to be if I didn’t run.” He swallowed once. “So I ran.” The words sat between them like something breakable and long buried. Rory felt her pulse in her wrists. Part of her wanted to strike him for the arrogance of making her into an obstacle in a story she had not known she was in. Part of her, the more treacherous part, understood with perfect clarity the desperation of being eighteen and mistaking flight for courage. “And did it work?” she asked. His smile this time was only a line. “Depends on your standards.” She took in the scar, the hard set of him, the careful way he occupied space as if every room required assessment. “You seem,” she said, and then stopped. “Say it.” “Not happy.” He let out a breath through his nose. “No. But alive, which was the original target.” She thought of Evan then, though she had not meant to. Of the years compressed into fear and apology. Of the day Eva had told her to pack a bag and get on the train to London before she forgot how to leave. Sometimes survival was the least glamorous triumph imaginable. Sometimes it was all there was. “Fair enough,” she said. Tom turned his empty glass once more but did not signal for another. “What about you?” “What about me?” “Are you happy?” The question felt indecent. She could have lied. She almost did. But he had already handed over enough of the truth to make dishonesty feel cowardly. “Some days,” she said at last. “Other days I think I’m a very intelligent woman living in a flat above a bar, delivering sesame prawn toast to men in offices I could probably outthink in my sleep.” “And the remaining days?” “I’m too tired to assess.” He looked at her with something like grief. “You always were meant for more.” “People keep saying that as if it helps.” “It doesn’t?” “No. It just makes whatever I am seem like a clerical error.” For a moment neither of them spoke. The song on the jukebox wandered through its last verse. The woman in red lipstick paid and left. Rain ticked faintly against the windows. Then Tom said, “I saw you once.” She frowned. “When?” “Three years ago. Outside St. David’s Hall.” He rubbed a thumb over the ridge of his eyebrow scar. “I was back in Cardiff for my uncle’s funeral. You were across the street with a man. He had his hand on your arm.” Evan. Even now, the memory made her skin tighten. “You looked…” He stopped. “Go on.” “Like you were somewhere else entirely.” Rory stared at him. The room seemed suddenly too warm. “You should have said hello.” “I know.” “You keep saying that.” “Because it keeps being true.” She let out a breath that trembled at the end despite her best efforts. Anger would have been simpler. Anger liked clean lines. This was something murkier: the ache of being seen too late, the absurdity of finding a witness after the fact. “Why didn’t you?” she asked. Tom’s answer came after a long moment. “You looked at me,” he said. “I’m almost sure you did. And there was nothing in your face that suggested I still belonged in your life.” She thought of the woman she had been three years ago, narrowed by fear, measuring every interaction for consequence. Maybe she had looked straight through him. Maybe she had seen him and decided that one more ghost was more than she could manage. “I’m sorry,” she said. He gave a small shake of the head. “I didn’t come over because I was a coward. You don’t have to apologize for that.” Silas returned, set a fresh splash of hot water in Rory’s mug without asking, and looked between them once. “Kitchen’s closing,” he said. “If either of you intends to make a tragic evening worse with pickled eggs, decide now.” Rory almost laughed. “No pickled eggs.” Tom said, “You run a cruel house, Blackwood.” “I curate standards.” Silas moved off again, his left leg dragging just enough to mark the old injury. Tom watched him with faint curiosity. “He looked after you?” he asked. “In his way.” “Which means?” “It means he minds his business right up until the moment it becomes impossible.” Tom nodded as if that made perfect sense. Maybe it did. The crowd had thinned. Chairs were being turned onto tables near the back. The hour had tipped toward closing, toward the part of the night when choices grew clearer because there was less time to avoid them. Tom reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a battered wallet. From it he took a card and set it on the bar between them. Just a name, a number, a security company in Mayfair. The font was expensive. The edges were softened with wear. “I’m in London for another month,” he said. “Maybe longer.” Rory looked at the card but did not touch it. “I’m not asking for anything,” he added. “Just—if you ever want coffee. Or a walk. Or to tell me in more detail what a bastard I was. You can.” She slid the card toward herself and placed two fingers over it. “That’s very generous.” He accepted the blow without flinching. “I’m trying not to make the same mistake twice.” She lifted her eyes to his. In them she could see the old boy and the changed man, not reconciled, only layered. The years had not improved him into wisdom so much as worn him into honesty. There was something almost unbearable in that. “You might anyway,” she said. “Probably.” That, more than any polished apology, sounded true. He stood. For an instant she thought he might reach for her shoulder or her hand, but he seemed to think better of it. “Good night, Rory.” “Good night, Tom.” He laid cash on the bar, nodded once to Silas, and went out under the green neon into the rain. Rory stayed where she was, listening to the door close behind him. The bar seemed larger after he left, as if his presence had held some old shape together and his absence had let it fall apart. Silas came to collect the glass. “You all right?” She looked down at the card under her hand. Her tea had gone cold again. “No,” she said. Silas took that in with his usual grave calm. “Will you be?” Rory thought of Cardiff and school corridors and her mother’s laugh from the kitchen. She thought of a boy running because staying felt like death, and of a man returning with scars and bad timing and the decency to say the thing too late. She thought of all the selves she had already been, and the one sitting here now above a bar in Soho with wet hair and tired hands and a life that did not look at all like the one she had been promised. “Probably,” she said. Silas’s mouth moved, not quite a smile. “Close enough.” He took the empty glass and left her with the quiet. After a while, Rory slipped Tom’s card into her jacket pocket, finished the cold tea in two determined swallows, and sat a little longer beneath the old maps, as if there might still be some route marked there she had not yet learned to read.
created_at"2026-03-09T22:39:59.329Z" 3/9/2026, 10:39:59 PM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency3581
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time108822
tokens_prompt867
tokens_completion5594
native_tokens_prompt808
native_tokens_completion4478
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning66
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.06919
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ff5625c-403f-4d7f-b895-58ac7295062c"
id"resp_03ac57476507000b0169af4c3f6a2c819595c7072802248d59"
is_byokfalse
latency249
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773095999-XOex4ndiSE9MvhWAvdgp"
upstream_id"resp_03ac57476507000b0169af4c3f6a2c819595c7072802248d59"
total_cost0.06919
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags44
adverbTagCount3
adverbTags
0"His mouth shifted almost [almost]"
1"he said dryly [dryly]"
2"He swallowed once [once]"
dialogueSentences160
tagDensity0.275
leniency0.55
rawRatio0.068
effectiveRatio0.038
88.69% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount3538
totalAiIsmAdverbs8
found
0
adverb"softly"
count1
1
adverb"truly"
count1
2
adverb"slightly"
count1
3
adverb"sharply"
count1
4
adverb"very"
count3
5
adverb"suddenly"
count1
highlights
0"softly"
1"truly"
2"slightly"
3"sharply"
4"very"
5"suddenly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
73.15% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount3538
totalAiIsms19
found
0
word"familiar"
count4
1
word"eyebrow"
count3
2
word"flicked"
count2
3
word"intensity"
count1
4
word"grave"
count2
5
word"could feel"
count1
6
word"pulse"
count1
7
word"treacherous"
count1
8
word"perfect"
count2
9
word"trembled"
count1
10
word"determined"
count1
highlights
0"familiar"
1"eyebrow"
2"flicked"
3"intensity"
4"grave"
5"could feel"
6"pulse"
7"treacherous"
8"perfect"
9"trembled"
10"determined"
66.67% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches2
maxInWindow2
found
0
label"let out a breath"
count2
highlights
0"let out a breath"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences245
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount4
hedgeCount3
narrationSentences245
filterMatches
0"look"
1"feel"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences361
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen90
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords3538
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions49
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
83.33% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions70
wordCount2602
uniqueNames18
maxNameDensity0.81
worstName"Tom"
maxWindowNameDensity2.5
worstWindowName"Tom"
discoveredNames
Raven1
Nest1
Soho2
Golden1
Empress1
London2
Hughes1
Year1
Nine1
Cardiff3
Silas14
Tom21
Jennifer1
Carter1
Evan2
Eva1
Rory15
Mayfair1
persons
0"Raven"
1"Nest"
2"Hughes"
3"Silas"
4"Tom"
5"Jennifer"
6"Carter"
7"Evan"
8"Eva"
9"Rory"
places
0"Soho"
1"Golden"
2"London"
3"Year"
4"Cardiff"
5"Mayfair"
globalScore1
windowScore0.833
57.41% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences162
glossingSentenceCount6
matches
0"sounded like memory"
1"sounded like a life built after impact"
2"something like grief"
3"seemed larger after he left, as if his presence had held some old shape together and his absence had let it fall apart"
4"felt like death, and of a man returning"
5"not quite a smile"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches2
per1kWords0.565
wordCount3538
matches
0"not out of fashion but neglect"
1"not merely physical but settled deeper, like sediment"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences361
matches
0"was that he"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs198
mean17.87
std21.45
cv1.2
sampleLengths
091
172
264
35
43
53
625
76
867
986
1021
1141
1214
13124
149
155
1614
171
1811
1925
2010
2143
221
2314
2487
2526
269
2714
284
294
3054
3114
3210
337
348
352
3631
3714
387
393
403
4173
429
4319
443
4513
4619
472
4821
493
95.24% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount7
totalSentences245
matches
0"been left"
1"was combed"
2"was turned"
3"was gone"
4"being seen"
5"were softened"
6"been promised"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount4
totalVerbs460
matches
0"was polishing"
1"was doing"
2"were being"
3"was, listening"
100.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount0
semicolonCount3
flaggedSentences2
totalSentences361
ratio0.006
matches
0"Old maps papered the walls in faded browns and sea-greens; black-and-white photographs leaned in mismatched frames as if they had all overheard too much to stand straight."
1"It showed up in smaller, meaner ways: a grocery list written in handwriting that looked wrong because it was hers, not her mother’s; the smell of a chalky classroom; a woman in a station turning with the same impatient tilt of the head."
89.49% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2613
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"usual slight limp, favoring"
adverbCount118
adverbRatio0.045158821278224265
lyAdverbCount27
lyAdverbRatio0.010332950631458095
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences361
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences361
mean9.8
std9.45
cv0.964
sampleLengths
024
115
221
331
414
527
66
79
83
913
107
1134
1223
135
143
153
1620
175
186
1937
2030
2126
2260
2321
2432
259
2614
275
283
297
306
3126
3219
334
3419
358
3610
3717
389
391
404
4114
421
4311
449
4513
463
477
483
4915
43.07% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats25
diversityRatio0.2659279778393352
totalSentences361
uniqueOpeners96
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount12
totalSentences210
matches
0"Somewhere near the back, somebody"
1"Then he shifted, and the"
2"Even sitting still, he had"
3"Then he turned fully, and"
4"Then it was gone."
5"Sometimes survival was the least"
6"Sometimes it was all there"
7"Then Tom said,"
8"Maybe she had looked straight"
9"Maybe she had seen him"
10"Maybe it did."
11"Just a name, a number,"
ratio0.057
60.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount84
totalSentences210
matches
0"It buzzed in the damp"
1"Her shoulders ached from a"
2"He was polishing a tumbler"
3"He gave her the small"
4"She hung the helmet on"
5"He moved with his usual"
6"His grey-streaked auburn hair was"
7"She noticed him first because"
8"He was older, of course."
9"They all were."
10"It was what age had"
11"His face had narrowed."
12"He wore a beard, not"
13"He blinked at her once,"
14"His gaze flicked from her"
15"Her throat felt lined with"
16"He was taller than she"
17"He had taught her how"
18"She had once taken a"
19"He had kissed her behind"
ratio0.4
57.62% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount169
totalSentences210
matches
0"The Raven’s Nest always looked"
1"It buzzed in the damp"
2"Rory paused beneath it with"
3"Her shoulders ached from a"
4"The floorboards creaked under familiar"
5"Glass touched wood."
6"A radio behind the bar"
7"Silas looked up as she"
8"He was polishing a tumbler"
9"He gave her the small"
10"She hung the helmet on"
11"He moved with his usual"
12"His grey-streaked auburn hair was"
13"Rory slid onto a stool"
14"The bar was fuller than"
15"She noticed him first because"
16"He was older, of course."
17"They all were."
18"It was what age had"
19"The boy she remembered had"
ratio0.805
47.62% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount2
totalSentences210
matches
0"Now he stood in front"
1"Even now, the memory made"
ratio0.01
47.13% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences97
technicalSentenceCount13
matches
0"The Raven’s Nest always looked half-asleep from the street, as if the green neon sign above the entrance had been left burning by mistake."
1"Old maps papered the walls in faded browns and sea-greens; black-and-white photographs leaned in mismatched frames as if they had all overheard too much to stan…"
2"He was polishing a tumbler with a white cloth that had never once made a glass truly spotless, and the silver signet ring on his right hand caught the light whe…"
3"He moved with his usual slight limp, favoring the left leg as he reached for the kettle he kept hidden beneath the counter as if the place would lose its reputa…"
4"His grey-streaked auburn hair was combed back, his beard trimmed close, his expression neutral in the practiced way of a man who had spent years watching other …"
5"The bar was fuller than a weekday usually brought: a pair of media types in expensive coats talking too loudly near the window, a tired-looking woman in red lip…"
6"She noticed him first because he was turned slightly away, broad-shouldered in a dark coat that had seen better years, and because there was something familiar …"
7"One cheekbone sat sharper than the other, as if something had once broken and healed with a private grudge."
8"Even sitting still, he had the wary stillness of someone who had learned not to waste motion."
9"Now he stood in front of her with one hand still around his glass, looking as startled as if she had stepped out of a grave."
10"There was a tiredness in him that hadn’t been there before, not merely physical but settled deeper, like sediment."
11"Rory gave a single soft exhale that might, in kinder circumstances, have become a laugh."
12"After a while, Rory slipped Tom’s card into her jacket pocket, finished the cold tea in two determined swallows, and sat a little longer beneath the old maps, a…"
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags44
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"His expression altered, the roughness easing into something gentler"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags34
fancyCount2
fancyTags
0"she repeated (repeat)"
1"he added (add)"
dialogueSentences160
tagDensity0.213
leniency0.425
rawRatio0.059
effectiveRatio0.025
86.9805%