Run: 2026-03-18-01KM08Y6THGHJ6R7PYHW8NFTXG

Run Details

Duration:
20.5s
Cost:
$0.015438
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the horror genre. A character is alone in a strange, isolated place at night. They came here for a reason, but something feels off from the moment they arrive. The wrongness builds slowly — sounds that shouldn't be there, things that move at the edge of vision, a growing certainty that they are not alone. Build tension through restraint, not through gore. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for the character and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The grove was smaller than it should have been. Aurora Carter knew the shape of Richmond Park well enough by now to trust her feet more than the map on her phone, and still she had walked past the last proper path twice before she found the break in the trees. The night had a damp, woollen quality to it, the kind that clung to her coat and made every breath feel stolen. Beyond the dark trunks, the park stretched in flattened shades of black and silver, but here the air changed. It went still in a way that felt deliberate. The hairs at the back of her neck lifted before she even saw the standing stones. They rose out of the earth like old teeth. Not stone, exactly. Ancient oak, if the codex in her head was right, though calling them oak did nothing to make them less wrong. The trunks had been stripped smooth by weather and age until they resembled the bleached ribs of some buried animal. Moss patched their bases in soft green velvet. Between them, the clearing opened into a pocket of moonlit grass and wildflowers that should not have been blooming in the dead of night in the middle of London, in November, under a sky like soot. Rory stopped at the edge of the grove and listened. No traffic. No distant dog barking. No rustle of cyclists on the path, no shouts from late runners, no hum of the city pressed beyond the park walls. Just the faint hiss of wind through leaves somewhere high above her and the soft, almost intimate sound of water dripping from one branch to another. She touched the pendant through her sweater. Warm. Not hot, not yet, but warm enough to feel alive against her sternum. The silver chain lay cold on her skin, the little crimson stone nestled at the hollow of her throat like a hidden ember. She had not planned to come here alone, not really. She’d told herself she was checking a place, that she would stand at the edge, confirm the pulse, and leave. Easy. Efficient. One quick visit to a pocket of the world where time behaved badly and the air tasted faintly of things she could not name, and then back to the flat above Silas’ bar, back to the safety of lock and bolt and a mug of tea she would forget to finish. But the pendant had started warming the moment she crossed Richmond Park’s inner paths, and now it throbbed in a slow, patient rhythm that matched the pressure behind her eyes. The reason she was here was simple enough to say and hard to believe. A portal. A Hel portal, if the old stories were to be trusted, though Rory had long ago learned not to trust old stories just because they were old. Still, the Heartstone Pendant only behaved this way near portals, pulsing with a heat that felt almost like recognition. And someone had given it to her without a name, without a note, without any kind of explanation at all. Unknown benefactor. As if that was a normal thing to have happen to you. As if anonymous gifts were harmless. As if the world had not already taught her what unknown men usually wanted. She drew in a slow breath and stepped into the grove. The flowers bent under her boots with a wet whisper. Bluebells, she thought at first, but the petals were the wrong shape, the wrong colour in the moonlight. Pale things with white mouths, clustered thickly along the base of the stones. They gave off a faint scent, sweet and musky, almost overripe, and when she inhaled too deeply it made her feel, absurdly, as if she had forgotten something important. Rory kept her shoulders loose and her face blank, the same expression she used when a delivery customer was rude or a road went missing on her GPS. Calm was habit. Calm was useful. Calm was armour. The grove answered with a silence so complete it seemed to press against her skin. She moved farther in, circling the perimeter first. The earth underfoot felt springy, almost insulated, as though there was more root than soil beneath it. Her torchlight was off; she didn’t want to announce herself, and besides, the moon was bright enough to pick out the lines of the standing stones and the silver thread of the streamlet cutting through the far side of the clearing. Her bright blue eyes adjusted quickly. She checked the trees, the shadow between them, the low shelf of branches. Nothing. Then, as she turned, she caught movement at the edge of her vision. A figure between two stones. Her head snapped that way, and the space was empty. Rory went still. The pendant gave one small, unmistakable pulse against her skin. “Right,” she murmured under her breath, because the alternative was standing there in silence like prey. “Fine.” The sound of her own voice startled her more than it should have. It didn’t echo, not exactly, but it seemed to linger, trapped in the grove with nowhere to go. She shifted her weight and heard the whisper of her sleeve, the tiny crack of a twig under her heel. The clearing felt smaller now, as if the stones had taken a step inward while she wasn’t looking. She forced herself to continue. At the center of the grove, a patch of grass grew in a rough circle around a shallow dip in the earth. The flowers here were denser, white and blue and a deep violet that nearly vanished in the dark. Rory knelt and reached out without touching. The air above the dip felt oddly charged, like the moment before a thunderclap, but cooler. Not electric. Something else. The pendant had grown warmer. A lot warmer. Her hand hovered over the ground. She could feel it now, a faint vibration through her fingertips, not from the earth itself but from beneath it, as if something were beating far below with a slow, impossible heart. Rory swallowed. “Hello?” she said, and immediately regretted it. The word was swallowed whole. No answer came, but something did change. The leaves in the trees beyond the grove shifted all at once, though there was no wind. Every stem of wildflower bent in the same direction, toward her. Not enough to be obvious if she hadn’t been staring. Enough to make the skin along her arms prickle. She stood up too quickly and nearly lost her balance. The feeling hit then, sudden and cold: she was not alone. It was not the ordinary awareness of another hiker passing nearby, not the simple logic of a hidden watcher. It was deeper than that, a certainty that threaded itself under her ribs and tightened there. The grove held attention. Something in it had noticed her. Rory turned in a slow circle. Her breath came shallow now, careful. The standing stones loomed around her, each one a dark vertical mass against the moonlit grass. For one ridiculous second she thought of the old men who liked to stand outside the delivery van and ask if she was lost, as if a woman alone at night was always a story beginning in peril. She almost laughed at the comparison, but the sound died before it reached her mouth. Because one of the stones was different. She knew it had not been there a moment ago. On the far side of the clearing, half-shadowed under a branch, stood a shape that was too narrow to be one of the oaks and too straight to be anything natural. It had the suggestion of a person without enough detail to claim it. A notch of darker dark. A tall outline. Shoulders maybe. Head. She could not tell whether it was facing her or away. Rory did not move. The figure stayed still. Her heart knocked once, hard enough to hurt. She looked away first, just for a fraction of a second, to the path behind her. Empty. When she looked back, the shape was gone. The absence of it was worse than seeing it. The pendant throbbed again, and this time the warmth carried a faint sting, a warning pressed through silver and skin. Rory pressed two fingers over it instinctively, as if she could flatten the pulse back down. Her scar, the little crescent on her left wrist, tightened with the movement. She flexed her hand and resisted the urge to rub at it. Don’t fidget. Don’t show fear. She had learned that much the hard way. A sound came from the trees. Not a branch breaking. Not a footstep. A knock. Three slow taps from wood on wood, measured and polite, from somewhere just beyond the standing stones. Rory’s mouth went dry. The grove had gone utterly still. Even the leaves seemed to have forgotten how to tremble. She could hear her own breathing now, the thin scrape of air in and out. The knock came again, closer this time, as if something had moved between the trees while she watched the wrong place. She backed up a step. Then another. “Okay,” she whispered, to herself, to the grove, to whatever was listening. “Nope.” She fumbled for her phone. The screen bloomed blue in her hand, and for one relieved instant she saw the battery icon, the time, her own pale face reflected in the glass. Then the signal vanished. Not weak. Gone. As if the world had been cut away around the clearing. A smear of static crawled across the display and disappeared. Her stomach tightened. Another sound, closer than the knock: the scrape of something dragging across bark. She lifted her head. There was nothing between the trees. Yet the feeling of being watched intensified until it seemed to occupy the air itself, dense and wet and intimate as breath on the back of her neck. Her skin had gone cold under her coat. She could smell the flowers now too strongly, too sweet, with a rotten undertone she had not noticed before. The scent reminded her of fruit left too long in a bowl, bruised and beginning to collapse from within. Rory took one careful step toward the edge of the grove. The earth under her boot gave a soft, yielding creak. She froze. Not because of the sound, though it was strange enough. Because something had answered beneath her foot. A minute shift, like a muscle tightening underground. Then, very distinctly, from directly behind her, a voice said her name. “Aurora.” Her entire body locked. It was a man’s voice, low and near, with the faintest catch in it, as if it had travelled a long way to reach her. Familiar in the shape of the vowels, unfamiliar in everything else. She did not turn. Could not. The pendant had turned hot against her chest, the warmth sudden and searing, and she knew before she moved that if she looked back she would see something she could not unsee. “Aurora,” the voice said again, softer now, almost patient. Her pulse roared in her ears. No one here should know her full name. Not here. Not in a place she had only begun to understand, not in a grove hidden in Richmond Park with ancient oak stones and impossible flowers and air bent thin as a held breath. She swallowed and spoke without turning. “Who are you?” Silence. The night seemed to lean closer. Then the voice answered from somewhere else entirely, to her left, near the nearest stone. “You came.” Rory’s fingers tightened around the phone until the plastic creaked. That was worse. That was much worse. The voice had not just moved. It had been in two places at once, or perhaps in none. Her mind tried to arrange it into something sensible and failed. She forced herself to look. Nothing stood beside the stone. But there was a smear of darker shadow at its base, a shape the moonlight refused to touch. A person’s outline, collapsed low to the ground as if crouching. No, not crouching. Waiting. Her breath caught. The pendant pulsed hard enough to sting her skin, and beneath that heat she felt another sensation, a tiny tug, as if something invisible had hooked itself to the crimson stone and was pulling, gently, insistently, from the other side of the grove. A path. Her instincts screamed at her to run, but Rory knew enough to hate blind panic. Panic got you hurt. Panic made you miss the thing at the edge of the room, the hand under the bed, the second set of eyes in a dark window. So she did the opposite. She made herself breathe. She made herself look. She counted the stones. She noted the distance to the trees. She fixed the shape of the clearing in her head. The figure in the shadow did not move. Then, slowly, with obscene patience, it lifted one hand. Not in a wave. In invitation. The gesture was almost casual. Almost kind. Rory felt her stomach turn over. Her thoughts scattered, then slammed back together around one clear idea: whatever was here had been waiting for her longer than she had been here for it. The realization landed cold and heavy in her chest. She should leave now. Immediately. The sensible part of her, the part that had survived Evan and the mess she’d fled and all the other smaller cruelties life liked to stack up on one exhausted woman’s shoulders, knew that much. Leave. Get out of the grove. Do not answer voices in the dark. Do not follow things that know your name. But the pendant was still warm, and not just warm now. It was pulling. Rory glanced down despite herself. The crimson stone burned faintly in the dark, a tiny heart of red light against her sweater. And on the silver chain, just below her fingers, there was moisture. She stared. A bead of something clear had formed where none should have been, clinging to the metal and trembling as if it had just been breathed onto. It did not fall. It hung there, quivering, while the grove around her held its breath. Then the bead slid upward, against gravity, toward the pendant. Rory’s scalp prickled. Her head jerked up. The figure by the stone was gone again. But now she could hear footsteps. Not from in front of her, not behind. From all around. Soft, deliberate steps on wet grass, pacing the clearing in a widening circle. Slow enough to be certain she heard them. Slow enough to let her imagine the shape of whoever made them. She backed toward the trees, eyes sweeping wildly from one shadow to the next. A branch bent overhead with a long, wet creak. Something moved just beyond the reach of moonlight. Not a face. Not a body. Only the sense of one leaning near the boundary, interested now, and very, very close. Rory’s breath came sharp and thin. Her hand went to the pendant again, covering it as if she could hide the glow from whatever wanted it. The warmth surged under her palm, bright and living. Then, from the edge of the grove, from the path she had used to come in, a voice called out in perfect imitation of her own. “Rory?” She stopped breathing. The voice was hers. Same pitch, same rough edge, same small flattening at the end when she was tired or afraid. It came from the dark outside the stones, from where the path to the park should have been. “Rory,” it said again, almost gently. “Come here.” Her mouth opened, but no sound came. Because now, in the center of the clearing, another voice answered from right beside her ear. “Don’t.” Rory whirled. The grove erupted into motion. The flowers bowed violently. The shadows between the stones surged like water. Something tall and thin crossed the clearing too fast for her mind to shape it, and every instinct she possessed kicked into one hard, brutal command. Run. She did.
created_at"2026-03-18T10:47:51.903Z" 3/18/2026, 10:47:51 AM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency2174
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time20364
tokens_prompt812
tokens_completion4068
native_tokens_prompt742
native_tokens_completion3307
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning44
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.015438
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ee065b2-3d1c-43bc-bdd7-28af3b148282"
id"resp_0d2359b36c4653bd0169ba82d7f760819397f7a821951582bc"
is_byokfalse
latency194
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773830871-EzePPa8G4juXwiupYhAW"
upstream_id"resp_0d2359b36c4653bd0169ba82d7f760819397f7a821951582bc"
total_cost0.015438
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
0.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags6
adverbTagCount3
adverbTags
0"time behaved badly [badly]"
1"the voice said again [again]"
2"it said again [again]"
dialogueSentences13
tagDensity0.462
leniency0.923
rawRatio0.5
effectiveRatio0.462
81.39% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2687
totalAiIsmAdverbs10
found
0
adverb"really"
count1
1
adverb"quickly"
count2
2
adverb"utterly"
count1
3
adverb"very"
count3
4
adverb"gently"
count2
5
adverb"slowly"
count1
highlights
0"really"
1"quickly"
2"utterly"
3"very"
4"gently"
5"slowly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
40.45% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2687
totalAiIsms32
found
0
word"velvet"
count1
1
word"pulse"
count4
2
word"efficient"
count1
3
word"throbbed"
count2
4
word"whisper"
count2
5
word"silence"
count3
6
word"echo"
count1
7
word"weight"
count1
8
word"charged"
count1
9
word"electric"
count1
10
word"could feel"
count1
11
word"loomed"
count1
12
word"peril"
count1
13
word"warmth"
count3
14
word"measured"
count1
15
word"stomach"
count2
16
word"familiar"
count1
17
word"searing"
count1
18
word"pulsed"
count1
19
word"footsteps"
count1
20
word"sense of"
count1
21
word"perfect"
count1
highlights
0"velvet"
1"pulse"
2"efficient"
3"throbbed"
4"whisper"
5"silence"
6"echo"
7"weight"
8"charged"
9"electric"
10"could feel"
11"loomed"
12"peril"
13"warmth"
14"measured"
15"stomach"
16"familiar"
17"searing"
18"pulsed"
19"footsteps"
20"sense of"
21"perfect"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences248
matches(empty)
85.25% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount3
hedgeCount7
narrationSentences248
filterMatches
0"feel"
1"look"
hedgeMatches
0"happen to"
1"seemed to"
2"tried to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences256
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen51
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2687
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions7
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
100.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions34
wordCount2650
uniqueNames11
maxNameDensity0.68
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity1.5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Carter1
Richmond3
Park3
London1
November1
Hel1
Rory18
Heartstone1
Pendant1
Evan1
Calm3
persons
0"Carter"
1"Rory"
2"Pendant"
3"Evan"
places
0"Richmond"
1"Park"
2"London"
3"November"
globalScore1
windowScore1
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences161
glossingSentenceCount1
matches
0"as if crouching"
51.14% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches4
per1kWords1.489
wordCount2687
matches
0"Not hot, not yet, but warm enough to feel alive against her sternum"
1"not yet, but warm enough to feel alive against her sternum"
2"not exactly, but it seemed to linger, trapped in the grove with nowhere to go"
3"not from the earth itself but from beneath it, as if something were beating far below with"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount3
totalSentences256
matches
0"snapped that way"
1"learned that much"
2"knew that much"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs120
mean22.39
std26.47
cv1.182
sampleLengths
09
1108
29
388
410
554
67
71
8119
930
1014
112
12100
1311
1470
1537
1615
1786
1813
195
2010
213
2210
2317
2469
255
2667
278
2838
292
307
315
3254
3310
3411
3545
3681
377
3810
3966
404
414
428
4325
449
4574
466
477
482
4917
96.77% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount6
totalSentences248
matches
0"been stripped"
1"was swallowed"
2"was lost"
3"was gone"
4"been breathed"
5"was gone"
66.33% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount8
totalVerbs399
matches
0"was checking"
1"was standing"
2"wasn’t looking"
3"were beating"
4"was facing"
5"was listening"
6"was pulling"
7"was pulling"
100.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount0
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences1
totalSentences256
ratio0.004
matches
0"Her torchlight was off; she didn’t want to announce herself, and besides, the moon was bright enough to pick out the lines of the standing stones and the silver thread of the streamlet cutting through the far side of the clearing."
96.46% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount386
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount17
adverbRatio0.04404145077720207
lyAdverbCount4
lyAdverbRatio0.010362694300518135
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences256
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences256
mean10.5
std9.03
cv0.86
sampleLengths
09
142
222
319
49
516
69
73
821
920
108
1136
1210
132
144
1522
1626
177
181
1913
2023
2110
2220
231
241
2551
2630
2714
282
2927
3019
3120
322
3312
346
3514
3611
3710
3818
3913
4029
4128
423
433
443
4515
468
4717
4841
496
39.45% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats27
diversityRatio0.2890625
totalSentences256
uniqueOpeners74
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount12
totalSentences216
matches
0"Just the faint hiss of"
1"Then, as she turned, she"
2"A lot warmer."
3"Even the leaves seemed to"
4"Then the signal vanished."
5"Then, very distinctly, from directly"
6"Then the voice answered from"
7"Then, slowly, with obscene patience,"
8"Then the bead slid upward,"
9"Soft, deliberate steps on wet"
10"Only the sense of one"
11"Then, from the edge of"
ratio0.056
95.93% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount67
totalSentences216
matches
0"It went still in a"
1"They rose out of the"
2"She touched the pendant through"
3"She had not planned to"
4"She’d told herself she was"
5"She drew in a slow"
6"They gave off a faint"
7"She moved farther in, circling"
8"Her torchlight was off; she"
9"Her bright blue eyes adjusted"
10"She checked the trees, the"
11"Her head snapped that way,"
12"she murmured under her breath,"
13"It didn’t echo, not exactly,"
14"She shifted her weight and"
15"She forced herself to continue."
16"Her hand hovered over the"
17"She could feel it now,"
18"she said, and immediately regretted"
19"She stood up too quickly"
ratio0.31
100.00% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount148
totalSentences216
matches
0"The grove was smaller than"
1"Aurora Carter knew the shape"
2"The night had a damp,"
3"It went still in a"
4"The hairs at the back"
5"They rose out of the"
6"The trunks had been stripped"
7"Moss patched their bases in"
8"Rory stopped at the edge"
9"She touched the pendant through"
10"The silver chain lay cold"
11"She had not planned to"
12"She’d told herself she was"
13"The reason she was here"
14"A Hel portal, if the"
15"She drew in a slow"
16"The flowers bent under her"
17"Bluebells, she thought at first,"
18"They gave off a faint"
19"Rory kept her shoulders loose"
ratio0.685
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount7
totalSentences216
matches
0"As if that was a"
1"As if anonymous gifts were"
2"As if the world had"
3"Because one of the stones"
4"As if the world had"
5"Because something had answered beneath"
6"Because now, in the center"
ratio0.032
50.26% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences108
technicalSentenceCount14
matches
0"Between them, the clearing opened into a pocket of moonlit grass and wildflowers that should not have been blooming in the dead of night in the middle of London…"
1"But the pendant had started warming the moment she crossed Richmond Park’s inner paths, and now it throbbed in a slow, patient rhythm that matched the pressure …"
2"Still, the Heartstone Pendant only behaved this way near portals, pulsing with a heat that felt almost like recognition."
3"They gave off a faint scent, sweet and musky, almost overripe, and when she inhaled too deeply it made her feel, absurdly, as if she had forgotten something imp…"
4"The earth underfoot felt springy, almost insulated, as though there was more root than soil beneath it."
5"She could feel it now, a faint vibration through her fingertips, not from the earth itself but from beneath it, as if something were beating far below with a sl…"
6"It was deeper than that, a certainty that threaded itself under her ribs and tightened there."
7"For one ridiculous second she thought of the old men who liked to stand outside the delivery van and ask if she was lost, as if a woman alone at night was alway…"
8"On the far side of the clearing, half-shadowed under a branch, stood a shape that was too narrow to be one of the oaks and too straight to be anything natural."
9"It was a man’s voice, low and near, with the faintest catch in it, as if it had travelled a long way to reach her."
10"A person’s outline, collapsed low to the ground as if crouching."
11"The pendant pulsed hard enough to sting her skin, and beneath that heat she felt another sensation, a tiny tug, as if something invisible had hooked itself to t…"
12"The sensible part of her, the part that had survived Evan and the mess she’d fled and all the other smaller cruelties life liked to stack up on one exhausted wo…"
13"A bead of something clear had formed where none should have been, clinging to the metal and trembling as if it had just been breathed onto."
41.67% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags6
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"she murmured, because the alternative was standing there in silence like prey"
0.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags5
fancyCount2
fancyTags
0"she murmured (murmur)"
1"she whispered (whisper)"
dialogueSentences13
tagDensity0.385
leniency0.769
rawRatio0.4
effectiveRatio0.308
81.5038%