Run: 2026-03-18-01KM09B77EFNXQKPF3NH19TZDE

Run Details

Duration:
21.5s
Cost:
$0.019402
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The green neon above The Raven’s Nest buzzed faintly in the drizzle, casting the pavement in a sickly, underwater light. Rory pushed through the door with one shoulder hunched against the weather and the smell hit her at once: old beer, polished wood, lemon oil, damp wool, and the faint metallic tang of the night crowd letting out steam. Warmth wrapped around her in a grudging welcome. Silas’s place always felt like it had already seen the end of the world and carried on pouring pints anyway. Rory shrugged the strap of her delivery bag higher on her shoulder and paused just inside to let her eyes adjust. The bar was half-full, low voices stitched together by music kept just quiet enough to pretend the room wasn’t listening. The walls, as always, were crowded with old maps and black-and-white photographs of men in uniforms, women in hats, riverbanks she didn’t recognize, cities she half-suspected were all lies. It was the sort of décor that made every patron look like they were being watched by history. At the bar, Silas stood with one hand braced on the counter, his silver signet ring flashing as he reached for a glass. Even from behind, she could see the familiar angle of his shoulders, the slight favoring of his left leg when he shifted his weight. He looked up as she entered, hazel eyes taking her in with the same quick, unsentimental inventory he gave to everyone. “Late,” he said. “Five minutes,” Rory said, pulling the hood off her head. “And it’s raining like the sky’s got a personal grievance.” His mouth twitched. “That’s London for you.” She started toward him, then stopped so abruptly her bag thumped against her hip. Someone at the far end of the bar had turned. For a second Rory’s mind refused to name the face. It only supplied the facts in a flat, traitorous sequence: dark hair gone darker, pulled back into a neat knot; cheekbones sharpened by time; a mouth she knew by heart and by wound; a coat cut too cleanly for the old version of this person; hands folded around a glass as if they had learned to hold themselves still. Then the face lifted fully into the light, and the years collapsed like bad scaffolding. “Rory?” The voice came out on a breath, not loud enough to disturb anyone else, but it split something inside her all the same. Eva. Rory felt her own expression lock and then fail. Her fingers tightened on the strap of the delivery bag until the leather bit into her palm. Of all the places in London, of all the nights, of all the possible humiliations the city could have served her, it chose this one with the neat cruelty of a card sharp. Eva had once worn her hair in a crooked ponytail and laughed too loudly at bad jokes in Cardiff rain. Eva had once known the color of Rory’s bedroom curtains, the name of her first dog, the exact sound of her swallowing tears when her father’s temper filled a room. Eva had also been the one to watch Rory pack a bag with shaking hands and tell her, very quietly, very fiercely, Go. Come to London. Do not go back. Now she looked like someone who had learned to afford herself. The coat was charcoal wool, the kind that fell straight and expensive. There was a gold band on one finger Rory did not remember ever seeing before. Her makeup was sparse, precise. Her face had changed in the ways people changed when they were no longer surviving one day at a time: less open, more deliberate. More guarded. Not less beautiful. Just harder to get to. Rory became aware that she was standing with her mouth slightly open. Eva rose from her stool but did not come closer. Something in that restraint hurt more than if she had rushed across the room and grabbed Rory by the shoulders. Her eyes, still the same shade of storm-gray Rory had once trusted with everything, flicked over Rory’s face and hair and cheap jacket and delivery bag with visible shock. “You work here now?” Eva asked. Rory gave a short laugh that wasn’t a laugh at all. “You say that like you’re disappointed.” “I said it like I’m trying to work out whether I’m hallucinating.” “You’re not.” “No,” Eva said softly. “I can see that.” Silas had noticed by then, of course. Rory caught the brief shift in him as he set down the glass and took one slow step in their direction, not intruding, just present. He had the look he wore when he sensed a live wire in the room: attentive, calm, prepared to let people burn themselves if they insisted. “Looks like you’ve got company,” he said to Rory, his voice pitched with casual neutrality, but his gaze moved from her to Eva and lingered a fraction longer than it needed to. Recognition, perhaps. Or simply his old talent for measuring damage at a glance. Rory swallowed. “Yeah.” Silas gave a small nod that somehow communicated both permission and warning, then drifted back down the bar with the same quiet authority he seemed to carry through walls. Eva watched him go. “That your landlord?” “My boss,” Rory said. “Sort of. Also the nearest thing I have to a human firewall.” Eva’s mouth moved, almost a smile, but it didn’t quite make it. “You’ve changed.” “So have you.” “That wasn’t meant as criticism.” “Neither was mine.” They stood there looking at one another while the room continued around them, glasses clinking, a laugh bursting near the window, the rain tapping insistently at the panes. Rory felt absurdly as if she were twenty again and waiting for a verdict. Then Eva said, “Can we sit?” Rory nodded once and led the way to a corner table half-shadowed by a framed map of the Thames. She slid into one side, still carrying her bag because she didn’t know what else to do with her hands. Eva sat opposite, removing her gloves finger by finger with the same neat economy she used on everything else. Up close, the changes were sharper. There were faint lines at the corners of her eyes Rory had never seen before. A small scar at the edge of one eyebrow. Not the delicate, polished woman Rory had half-expected, but someone disciplined by time and maybe by necessity. Someone who had been made and unmade. Rory hated how much she wanted to ask questions and how much she feared the answers. “You look well,” Eva said. Rory gave her a look. “That’s a lie.” Eva held her gaze. “All right. You look alive.” “That’s better.” “And tired.” “Now you’re just being rude.” This time Eva smiled, properly, and the expression hit Rory with such force that for a moment she couldn’t breathe. It was the old smile. Not unchanged—nothing was—but recognizably, painfully hers. “I wasn’t sure it was you,” Eva said. “When I walked in. I thought, no. That can’t be Rory. Rory would have better shoes.” Rory glanced down at her scuffed trainers. “I knew there’d be judgment.” “I’m serious.” “So am I. These are excellent shoes for carrying dumplings, thank you.” Eva’s eyes shifted to the scar peeking from Rory’s left sleeve when she moved her hand. “You still have that.” Rory instinctively tucked her wrist closer to her body, feeling the old crescent-shaped scar as if the skin had tightened around it. “Yes.” “I remember when you got it.” “Hard to forget. You laughed at me for crying.” “I did not laugh.” “You absolutely did.” Eva looked offended, then thoughtful. “I might have laughed after I knew you weren’t dying.” Rory snorted despite herself. The sound surprised them both. For one fragile second the distance between them thinned, and the old ease hovered at the edge of the table like a ghost deciding whether to enter. Then it faltered. Eva’s gaze dropped to Rory’s hands. “Are you all right?” The question was simple. It should have been simple. Rory could have said yes, in the practical way she’d taught herself to mean yes: I have a roof, I have work, I am not bleeding, I’m here. Instead her throat tightened around every answer that mattered. “No,” she said at last. “But I’m functioning.” Eva closed her eyes briefly, as if that confirmed something she’d been carrying around for a long time. “Rory—” “Don’t.” The word came out sharper than Rory intended. A couple at the nearest table glanced over, then quickly looked away. Rory lowered her voice. “Don’t say it like that.” “Like what?” “Like you’re about to apologize for something you already knew.” Silence stretched between them, taut and thin. Eva’s fingers pressed into the edge of the table. “I did know,” she said. “I knew you weren’t safe. I knew you were sinking. I knew and I still—” “You still let me go back,” Rory said, and hated the tremor under the words. Eva flinched, just once. “I didn’t let you.” “You didn’t stop me.” “I tried.” Rory let out a breath through her nose, anger flaring so fast it felt like relief. “You sent one message and then vanished.” Eva stared at her, and for a moment the practiced polish cracked enough to show the exhaustion beneath. “I was nineteen, Rory.” “So was I.” “That was supposed to make it easier?” “No,” Rory said. “It was supposed to make it less cruel.” That landed. Eva looked down at her hands, at the ring gleaming coldly against her skin. When she spoke again, her voice had gone quieter, rougher around the edges. “You think I’ve forgiven myself?” Rory wanted to say I don’t care. Wanted to say you don’t get to ask for mercy now. Wanted to say a dozen hard, useful things that would keep the room safe by keeping her heart armored. But the truth was uglier and more exhausted than anger. “I don’t know what I think,” she said. Eva nodded as if that, too, was fair. Silas arrived then with two glasses of water and one pint he had not been asked to bring. He set them down with deliberate care. “On the house,” he said to Eva, though his eyes were on Rory. “And you’ll both eat something before the night gets any longer.” Rory frowned. “I’m working.” “You’re talking,” Silas replied. “That’s close enough to being off duty.” Eva looked up at him with faint surprise. “You’re still in charge of the room, then.” Silas’s expression barely changed, but Rory saw the recognition sharpen in his eyes. “And you’re still making people nervous, I see.” Eva huffed a laugh. “Some things are enduring.” Silas inclined his head, a diplomat acknowledging another diplomat, and withdrew to the bar. Rory stared at the glass of water as if it had betrayed her by existing. “He does that,” she muttered. Eva glanced toward Silas’s back. “He’s intimidating.” “He’s retired intelligence.” “That explains the vibe.” “He hates when people say vibe.” Eva’s mouth twitched. “Then I’ll say aura.” “Worse.” “You’re smiling.” Rory’s face went still. She hadn’t noticed. The realization made her uncomfortable in the same way it made her ache. She looked down at the tabletop, where the wood grain had been polished by years of elbows and apologies. Eva’s voice softened. “I’m glad you’re here.” Rory almost laughed. “In the bar? Or in London?” “Don’t be difficult.” “It’s my only hobby.” Eva folded her hands again, and Rory saw that one thumb kept worrying the ring. Nervous. She had been nervous once all the time, but not like this. Now it seemed to have settled into her bones. “I came because of work,” Eva said. “Just for a few days. I wasn’t supposed to stop anywhere. I was going to get a train and pretend the city didn’t exist.” “Then why didn’t you?” Eva looked at her for a long moment. “Because I saw the sign.” Rory followed her glance to the neon green glow over the bar’s doorway. “You remembered this place?” “I never forgot it.” Of course she hadn’t. Rory felt an old, foolish surge of tenderness, immediately followed by suspicion. “Why didn’t you tell me you were in town?” Eva’s face tightened. “Because I didn’t know if you’d answer.” “That’s not an answer.” “No,” Eva said. “It’s the one I could afford.” Rory sat back, letting that settle. There had been a time when Eva’s choices made perfect sense to her, when the world had still seemed simple enough to divide into people who stayed and people who left. She knew better now. Leaving could be mercy. Staying could be vanity. And sometimes both were just different names for fear. “Why now?” Rory asked. Eva’s eyes flicked to the side, to the rain-patterned windows and the dim line of strangers. “Because my mother died in January.” Rory went still. Eva continued with the same careful steadiness people used when they’d already cried all the tears they were going to permit themselves. “I had to clear the house. Boxes. Photos. Letters. She kept everything. I found old things. School things. A notebook I’d forgotten I had.” A pause. “Your name was in it.” Rory’s chest tightened. “Was it?” “Yes.” “What did I do?” she asked, and immediately wished she hadn’t, because the question sounded too naked, too hopeful, too much like the girl she had once been. Eva looked at her with a strange grief. “You existed,” she said. “Very inconveniently.” Despite herself, Rory smiled again, smaller this time, and something in Eva’s face softened in response. The years between them did not disappear, but they stopped being a wall and became, for a moment, only distance. A thing that could be looked at. “I thought about coming to find you,” Eva said. “A lot.” “And?” Eva’s gaze dropped. “And I was afraid I’d find out you’d learned not to need me.” Rory felt that in the center of her, sharp and clean. She wanted to deny it. Wanted to say, no, that isn’t true, I needed you, I needed you badly enough to make a life around the shape of your absence. But the truth was more embarrassing than that. She had learned to survive by making all her needs private. By making them small enough to fit in her pocket beside her keys and her wage slips. By mistaking competence for peace. “I did need you,” Rory said, because she owed honesty something. “I just got better at pretending I didn’t.” Eva bowed her head once, as if she’d been struck by something manageable. “I’m sorry.” Rory looked at her. At the woman across from her with her neat coat and tired eyes and ring-worn hands and all the years they had not spent becoming strangers on purpose. She thought of Cardiff rain, of borrowed laughter, of the flat silence after a slammed door. Of London’s first cold winter, of the knock on her door that had changed everything. Of all the times she had almost called and hadn’t. Of all the times, more humiliating still, she had hoped for a call that never came. The bar hummed around them. Silas set glasses down somewhere behind her with a soft click. Someone near the door burst out laughing, and the sound dissolved into the music. Rory reached for the water and took a sip she didn’t want. “You can’t just appear after years and say sorry and expect me to know what to do with that.” “I’m not asking you to.” “Good.” Eva gave a tiny nod. “I’m asking if you’ll let me buy you dinner tomorrow.” Rory stared at her. Eva lifted one eyebrow, and there it was again, the old irreverence, only tempered now by caution. “As an adult,” she said. “No hidden agenda. No dramatic declarations. Just dinner. You can insult my shoes if that helps.” Rory’s laugh came out unexpectedly real this time, though it stung on the way up. She covered it by rubbing a thumb over the scar on her wrist. The skin there was always a little colder than the rest of her. “You have to understand,” she said. “This is deeply suspicious behavior.” “I know.” “And you’ve changed.” “So you keep saying.” “I’m not sure I trust it.” Eva’s expression shifted, not hurt exactly, but honest enough to let hurt in. “You don’t have to trust it tonight.” Rory looked at her for a long moment. There it was, the thing time left behind when it had done its worst: not closure, not forgiveness, not some clean bright lesson, but a narrow path through the debris where people could still choose to be kind. Behind them, Silas cleared his throat with the quiet precision of a man unwilling to be asked to mediate sentiment all evening. Rory glanced over her shoulder. He was watching them with that composed, unreadable look he used when he was pretending not to understand more than he let on. When Rory met his eyes, he gave her the barest nod. Not permission. Not instruction. Just witness. She turned back to Eva. The rain pressed harder at the windows. The green neon outside shivered in the glass. “All right,” Rory said at last. “Dinner. Tomorrow. But if you bring up the past before the starter arrives, I’m leaving.” Eva’s smile this time was small and unguarded, and it made her look suddenly younger and unbearably familiar. “Fair.” “And no judging my shoes.” “I can’t promise that.” Rory snorted, and for a moment, just a moment, the room held both of them gently enough to breathe. The years were still there. So was the hurt. So was the shape of everything unsaid, crowded and living beneath the table between their hands. But the night had made room for a beginning, however reluctant, and in The Raven’s Nest, under maps of places she had never been and photographs of people long dead, Rory let herself sit inside it.
created_at"2026-03-18T10:54:58.299Z" 3/18/2026, 10:54:58 AM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency2988
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time21088
tokens_prompt867
tokens_completion4769
native_tokens_prompt808
native_tokens_completion4177
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning329
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.0194025
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ee065b2-3d1c-43bc-bdd7-28af3b148282"
id"resp_00bbcbb992cfb0310169ba8482616881949e992c8924ac77b4"
is_byokfalse
latency176
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773831298-JAgiKURCcBqtDX57hh7R"
upstream_id"resp_00bbcbb992cfb0310169ba8482616881949e992c8924ac77b4"
total_cost0.0194025
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags27
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"Eva said softly [softly]"
dialogueSentences126
tagDensity0.214
leniency0.429
rawRatio0.037
effectiveRatio0.016
85.04% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount3009
totalAiIsmAdverbs9
found
0
adverb"very"
count3
1
adverb"slightly"
count1
2
adverb"softly"
count1
3
adverb"quickly"
count1
4
adverb"coldly"
count1
5
adverb"suddenly"
count1
6
adverb"gently"
count1
highlights
0"very"
1"slightly"
2"softly"
3"quickly"
4"coldly"
5"suddenly"
6"gently"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
75.07% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount3009
totalAiIsms15
found
0
word"warmth"
count1
1
word"familiar"
count2
2
word"weight"
count1
3
word"flicked"
count2
4
word"eyebrow"
count2
5
word"absolutely"
count1
6
word"silence"
count2
7
word"gleaming"
count1
8
word"tenderness"
count1
9
word"perfect"
count1
10
word"unreadable"
count1
highlights
0"warmth"
1"familiar"
2"weight"
3"flicked"
4"eyebrow"
5"absolutely"
6"silence"
7"gleaming"
8"tenderness"
9"perfect"
10"unreadable"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches1
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"let out a breath"
count1
highlights
0"let out a breath"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences206
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount2
hedgeCount3
narrationSentences206
filterMatches
0"look"
hedgeMatches
0"started to"
1"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences304
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen59
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords3007
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions52
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
0.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions138
wordCount2364
uniqueNames12
maxNameDensity2.62
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity5.5
worstWindowName"Eva"
discoveredNames
Raven2
Nest2
Silas11
Rory62
London3
Cardiff2
Go1
Eva49
Recognition1
Thames1
Despite1
Wanted3
persons
0"Raven"
1"Nest"
2"Silas"
3"Rory"
4"Go"
5"Eva"
places
0"London"
1"Cardiff"
2"Thames"
globalScore0.189
windowScore0
54.58% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences131
glossingSentenceCount5
matches
0"felt like it had already seen the end o"
1"looked like someone who had learned to af"
2"quite make it"
3"felt like relief"
4"seemed simple enough to divide into people who stayed and people who left"
0.47% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches6
per1kWords1.995
wordCount3007
matches
0"not loud enough to disturb anyone else, but it split something inside her all the same"
1"Not the delicate, polished woman Rory had half-expected, but someone disciplined by time"
2"not hurt exactly, but honest enough to let hurt in"
3"not closure, not forgiveness, not some clean bright lesson, but a narrow path through the debris"
4"not forgiveness, not some clean bright lesson, but a narrow path through the debris"
5"not some clean bright lesson, but a narrow path through the debris"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences304
matches
0"letting that settle"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs157
mean19.15
std19.53
cv1.02
sampleLengths
067
120
288
368
43
520
67
714
810
969
1015
111
1223
131
1459
1580
1611
1766
1812
1959
206
2117
2212
232
248
2558
2645
273
2829
297
3016
3114
323
335
343
3542
366
3758
3854
3916
405
418
429
432
442
455
4631
4724
4812
492
96.75% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount5
totalSentences206
matches
0"being watched"
1"been made"
2"been asked"
3"been polished"
4"been struck"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount4
totalVerbs423
matches
0"wasn’t listening"
1"was standing"
2"was watching"
3"was pretending"
100.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount2
semicolonCount4
flaggedSentences2
totalSentences304
ratio0.007
matches
0"It only supplied the facts in a flat, traitorous sequence: dark hair gone darker, pulled back into a neat knot; cheekbones sharpened by time; a mouth she knew by heart and by wound; a coat cut too cleanly for the old version of this person; hands folded around a glass as if they had learned to hold themselves still."
1"Not unchanged—nothing was—but recognizably, painfully hers."
68.39% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2376
adjectiveStacks3
stackExamples
0"half-full, low voices"
1"same quick, unsentimental inventory"
2"old crescent-shaped scar"
adverbCount132
adverbRatio0.05555555555555555
lyAdverbCount32
lyAdverbRatio0.013468013468013467
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences304
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences304
mean9.89
std8.33
cv0.842
sampleLengths
020
139
28
320
421
520
629
718
823
924
1021
113
1210
1310
143
154
1614
1710
1810
1959
2015
211
2223
231
249
2517
2633
2720
2830
2923
303
314
3211
3312
3415
355
3624
372
383
395
4012
4110
4220
4329
446
4511
466
4712
482
494
44.74% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats16
diversityRatio0.24342105263157895
totalSentences304
uniqueOpeners74
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount6
totalSentences178
matches
0"Then the face lifted fully"
1"Just harder to get to."
2"Then Eva said,"
3"Then it faltered."
4"Instead her throat tightened around"
5"Of course she hadn’t."
ratio0.034
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount29
totalSentences178
matches
0"It was the sort of"
1"He looked up as she"
2"His mouth twitched."
3"She started toward him, then"
4"It only supplied the facts"
5"Her fingers tightened on the"
6"Her makeup was sparse, precise."
7"Her face had changed in"
8"Her eyes, still the same"
9"He had the look he"
10"he said to Rory, his"
11"They stood there looking at"
12"She slid into one side,"
13"It was the old smile."
14"It should have been simple."
15"she said at last"
16"He set them down with"
17"he said to Eva, though"
18"She hadn’t noticed."
19"She looked down at the"
ratio0.163
77.98% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount136
totalSentences178
matches
0"The green neon above The"
1"Rory pushed through the door"
2"Warmth wrapped around her in"
3"Silas’s place always felt like"
4"Rory shrugged the strap of"
5"The bar was half-full, low"
6"The walls, as always, were"
7"It was the sort of"
8"He looked up as she"
9"Rory said, pulling the hood"
10"His mouth twitched."
11"She started toward him, then"
12"Someone at the far end"
13"It only supplied the facts"
14"The voice came out on"
15"Rory felt her own expression"
16"Her fingers tightened on the"
17"Eva had once worn her"
18"Eva had once known the"
19"Eva had also been the"
ratio0.764
84.27% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount3
totalSentences178
matches
0"Even from behind, she could"
1"Now she looked like someone"
2"Now it seemed to have"
ratio0.017
100.00% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences98
technicalSentenceCount4
matches
0"It only supplied the facts in a flat, traitorous sequence: dark hair gone darker, pulled back into a neat knot; cheekbones sharpened by time; a mouth she knew b…"
1"Rory instinctively tucked her wrist closer to her body, feeling the old crescent-shaped scar as if the skin had tightened around it."
2"Eva closed her eyes briefly, as if that confirmed something she’d been carrying around for a long time."
3"Wanted to say a dozen hard, useful things that would keep the room safe by keeping her heart armored."
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags27
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"he said, though his eyes were on Rory"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags27
fancyCount1
fancyTags
0"she muttered (mutter)"
dialogueSentences126
tagDensity0.214
leniency0.429
rawRatio0.037
effectiveRatio0.016
86.2428%